Don't force yourself to be a woman.

? I saw an interview in a forum in Zhao Wei recently. She said, "Women should not force themselves to be men." . At that time, I had mixed feelings, too many feelings and too many ideas. Just like the scene when the company cooks at noon, I am always packed. My inner laziness also makes me uninterested. I wrote a draft on the paper myself, and suddenly I found that some words had been forgotten, so I simply gave up. Just now, the sudden impulse prompted me to type on the keyboard at work.

I really force myself to be a "female man". From the moment I entered the university, I experienced everything personally until graduation approached. In five years, my heart faded like graffiti nightclub makeup, highlighting a clean and natural face. I read a cartoon before, which talked about the changes of girls' hairstyles in college for four years. I believe that every girl will experience a simple ponytail from the year she entered college to a variety of simple calmness after dyeing and finishing, and I am in it without exception. Perhaps it is the threshold of college that makes me shoulder the word responsibility gradually. I began to take part in the work of clubs, student unions and class committees crazily, because I believed that these positions would give me exercise, so I went to various meetings and activities every day, and I became a king kong in the eyes of others. I began to make friends, and became brothers with all kinds of boys, a bit like men. I seldom pay attention to external dressing, mainly my ability. I thought my ability would make me graduate. It seems that I am so strong and brave. But now I think of all the actions in those years, which is nothing more than a stupid remark. I forced myself to be a woman. Although I got exercise, I also lost the cuteness of girls.

Every girl has a prince in her heart, but we all forget that we are not a princess, and even Cinderella doesn't have glass shoes. In the three years of Shanqingyuan, love is ignorant to me. At that time, the struggling heart was not as eager for love as the girls at the same time, because like men, I think women should be independent and strong. I even think that girls who don't spoil all day are as disgusting as parasites. At that time, the actress I hated most was Lin Chi-ling, because I thought she was the most disgusting thing in my heart (now think about it, it was childish and ridiculous at that time). I thought the charm came from all strong women. I remember that at noon in my freshman year, I hardly took a nap. Shuttle through various club meetings like a crazy child every day. When I was a sophomore, I participated in the training of instructors. The whole person is like a woman who has beaten chicken blood, filled with countless empty ideals that I want to be a soldier and defend my country, so that my voice, which has never been dumb since I studied music in those years, has been broken, and now I feel itchy after talking for a long time. In fact, it's too difficult to see it now. I can't even understand what I was thinking. I looked through the previous logs and found the answer. Maybe my life was full at that time. . . .

? Later, I fell in love. At first, I thought that a long-distance relationship might be more suitable for my free temper. However, frequent club activities and publicity made the boy feel insecure. Call him an ex-boyfriend for the time being. . . . I thought I was going to get married, and the love that held your hand forever died after half a year. I will always remember the email my ex-boyfriend wrote to me six months later. The email contained too much content, but I still can't forget the word "strong". At that time, I didn't care, just replied: "I changed my mind when I was idle, but my heart has changed." In fact, now that I think about it, no one is right or wrong in love. I can only say that we are both too young to wait until each other grows up.

That year, my classmates and I went to Kunshan to participate in the competition on behalf of the department and won the third prize in the country. I will always remember the heavy rain in Kunshan at the end of that day. I sat in the rain with my camera in my arms, tears streaming down my face. . . . In fact, I am not strong at all, just forcing myself to be a strong woman in the eyes of others.

Girls are born to cry, but they are not cowardly, just more emotional. The stamina of lovelorn love often makes people decadent. What I brought to the female man at that time was more the transformation after the blow. In this way, everyone is grateful to the person who appeared in my life. Because of you, I have cultivated myself now and liked myself. Although I wasn't particularly fat before, baby fat and slightly fat physique with late development made me lose less than 100 kg in half a year. I began to pay attention to my appearance, learn from makeup artists and read fashion magazines every day (this habit has been maintained until now, and now it has changed into fashion news).

I seem to begin to understand the importance of women's external things. I slowly began to resign from various positions in the student union. I want to study hard and get my undergraduate certificate. So I seem to have changed from a rich boy who once swaggered around the city to a poet who lived in seclusion in the mountains. I began to occupy a seat in the library every day. I get up at five o'clock every day, so eager to succeed. Mountain Qingyuan in early spring is still a little dark and cold. Now I want to thank me for my hard work. Two years of undergraduate life turned me into a gentle girl. If I had been hired directly, I believe. I almost broke down because I wanted to get into the exam so badly. I cried the first time I called my parents. I cried very sadly. I told my mother that I was afraid that I would fail the exam and leave myself with regrets. That cry, my powerlessness and helplessness also made me warm. A year after we broke up, my ex-boyfriend gave me great encouragement by phone. My mother stayed up all night and found a fortune teller the next day. Please forgive my mother's superstition, but that superstition was my last belief at that time. The fortune teller said: I can pass the exam as long as I take it. As for my funny mother, she even smoked incense on the post on the day of my exam. . . . I can't help laughing. From then on, I understood that I don't need to pretend to be strong. Occasional crying makes people feel distressed, and daily laughter makes people warm. Crying is true and laughing is lovely. This is what a girl really looks like.

? Proper willfulness is not uncomfortable, but admirable. The first thing I want to say is my mother. I always thought my mother was my life coach. Her emotional intelligence is so high that I can't catch up, but I will study with an open mind. My mother is a strong woman in the company, which I may have inherited from her, but my mother's most successful place is that she is not strong in front of her father, which is why my father is willing to cook for her all her life. My mother is a tease at home. Is that really good, but her IQ won't read my article, haha. . . ) She did a lot of stupid things that made my dad laugh because she had no IQ. She can't cook, and her cooking is not delicious. When I was a child, she fried Yuanxiao for me, so she had loose bowels and had an intravenous drip for three days. Now I swear, I will never eat Yuanxiao again after I realize how painful it is. There are also things that only seek efficiency but not quality. After she washed some clothes that I didn't think were cheap with the washing machine, I reluctantly begged her not to wash my clothes again. . . . When I thought he could do nothing but embroider a flower and knit a sweater skillfully, she said to me: women should not be too strong at home, and no one will help you with anything. If everything is ok, it is difficult to achieve balance between husband and wife. The man replied that you know everything, and you think I can't cook. Your grandfather's family is a big landlord, and our family is so strict in education that cooking is all etiquette. Since then, this sentence has been affecting me, whether it is boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife. Intentional cowardice, pretended unwillingness and occasional willfulness are actually the principles of self-restraint of husband and wife. Since I came to Weifang College, I have brought all kinds of willfulness into full play. I don't do things I don't like, and people I don't like are put aside. I suddenly found that my life was very relaxed and happy, and my previous fatigue seemed to have vanished. Maybe it's because someone loves me that I'm presumptuous. I hope I am more ruthless, willful and chic than before.

During the Spring Festival last year, I lost my computer near the Spring Festival. When I arrived at the police station, I showed all kinds of "willfulness", from crying loudly in front of the police, to criticizing the bad thief, to commenting on every roommate. At the end of the transcript, the police and I were both laughed at by our innocence and stupidity. Finally I said, "I didn't bring any money when I came out, but it was stolen." I'm broke now, so you brought me here. " The police uncle said: generally, we are only responsible for collecting, not sending. So I froze for a second, sat on the stool, legs together, dragging my cheeks and said, then if you don't see me off, you'll have to sleep in the street, or you can make a floor in the office. It should be safe here. "Uncle policeman was really moved by my sincerity", I should be moved by my stupidity, and I drove home in my own car. On the way, he said something that I still remember. He said: "If I know six tenths of this society, you don't even know one tenth, but if a woman knows this society, she is not cute at all." Because of the thief's masterpiece, I lost my long hair for many years, because I also believe that women with short hair can be sexy and lovely. Since ancient times, people have thought that a woman without talent is virtue. Sometimes knowing is not necessarily a good thing, and not knowing is not necessarily a job. He who knows and learns to hide is great wisdom. Girls who are willful but not melodramatic are more lovely.

For a girl with a female criminal record like me, coquetry is tantamount to cutting herself with a knife, but now I have become a person who lets people cut myself with a knife. I have seen a video before, "How many free goods can a female goddess get in a day?". The same girl, when she walked out of the house wearing beautiful clothes, sexy clothes and exquisite makeup, ate ice cream, visited the zoo and took a taxi, and finally got free goods from 120 yuan. Instead, it was the same girl who went home to take off makeup and wear big shorts. It is very attractive for women to be spoiled properly sometimes. I remember two years ago, I dragged my suitcase by train. I dragged my heavy suitcase to the platform and the steps of the train. I'm tired like a madman, regardless of my image, just to prove that I can do it. When I graduated from school the other day, I brought a lot of things. Arriving at the platform stairs, I smiled and said to the flight attendant, Hello, my luggage is a little heavy. Can you help me carry it up? Thank you, last sweet smile. So the flight attendant promised me with joy and dragged my luggage into the train compartment. This is my own change and experience, and it also makes me understand that in fact, a charm can solve it, but there are limits to coquetry. If it goes too far, it will be misunderstood. Years ago, when I was an intern in a hotel, the big bucket of water in the water dispenser never changed. Many female colleagues at the front desk will exchange water with buckets of water, telling me that all the people at the front desk are women. I laughed without a word. When I find that there is no water, I usually find a concierge and ask them to change the water for me. It's not that I can't change it, but I suddenly feel that this is not done by a girl. If you do it once, others will think you should do it. The next time there is no water, the porter will take the initiative to change the water. Every time I say to help him, he will say: This is heavy, you can't move it, I will!

? Not all female men can be cultivated into strong women, but more are forced to become real men, and not all girls who can coquetry will live well, but girls who are rigid, flexible and principled can win more respect.

? "Poor children, rich daughters" think that we have been inheriting things from our ancestors. A few days ago, I read an article called "It's hard to have a noble child in a cold door", and analyzed the performance of children with various family backgrounds when facing work. In fact, if we look at the post-80s and post-90s today, we may further verify that a poor family comes from a difficult background. It is not prejudice against the poor, but the family environment is very important for a person's growth. A rich adopted daughter doesn't mean to buy everything, which is expensive, and offer it like a princess. Instead, she says that she is not surprised, goes to the hall, can play the piano, can afford the evening ceremony, can read many languages and is full of poems, because a real princess is never melodramatic. This is the contrast between Lin Chi-ling and Summer Xu in Tencent News a few days ago, and it is actually the queen, not just the princess, who can really do this. Some friends around me are well-off and some are poor, but they have experienced so much and deeply felt the inner gap. I have a best friend, Xiao Y, who is the most inspiring girl. She has a younger brother, but her mother always leaves her the best things, because his mother said: boys can move bricks when they grow up, and girls can't do anything, so let her receive a good education and good knowledge. So she became a gentle and beautiful woman. There is a good saying that there are two things to improve yourself, one is reading and the other is traveling. Reading improves our connotation and self-cultivation, and traveling enriches our experiences and stories. Nowadays, girls are becoming more and more "informal", and even girls who think that boys are capable can drink too much, behave rudely and swear. We can't say that this is not good, but the performance of men will only make people around you think you are tough. Of course, some people regard this as a kind of personality, and the appropriate personality is a literary model. If it is too much, it will kill Matt. . .

? Take my sister and me for example. I am the object of my parents' poor support. I remember when I was in college, my sister studied fine arts. The monthly living expenses for me were 400 yuan, and the living expenses for my sister were 1000 yuan. At first, I felt very unbalanced. I often went to the student union to handle various activities and dinners, and I was deeply ashamed. Whenever I ask for more living expenses, my parents always explain a lot to me. So at that time, I was more forced to stand on my own feet, so I started working from most of the time to earn extra money, and my sister would ask her parents for it as long as she had no money. What impressed me the most and hurt me the most was that, once, my father told me to let my sister get the card herself, for fear that I would steal my sister's money. This sentence has been deeply poking at my heart. In fact, now I think that I was so strong, so strong, partly because of my parents' education methods, which really forced me to become a woman. Looking back now, I was just not sensible enough. After my promotion, my family didn't spend a penny except tuition. I earned it all by my own tutoring and part-time job. I don't like being controlled financially. In fact, the biggest difference between myself and my sister in the past five years is that they are poor financially, but I still thank my parents for their support and have done a lot of things and given me many opportunities to exercise. In high-end occasions, my manners have also been enriched and exercised. In this way, I am spiritually enriched.

Yang Lan said that when she was a child, her uncle would take her to the most expensive coffee shop in Shanghai for coffee, hoping that when she grew up, she would not be coaxed away by a boy with a piece of candy. I told my mother that. I hope our whole family can do their best to love my sister. I don't want her to be as kind to her as I am. She must be grateful for being afraid of being washed back by the flood. Again, money doesn't have to have money, knowledge, cultivation and knowledge. These things can enrich people's hearts more than money, because I have never seen a real rich woman carry buckets of water, nor is she a show-off party that buys Chanel and drives a famous car, but a real queen with textbooks or studying for an MBA at Harvard and Oxford!

Nowadays, many parents will say that it is better to learn than to marry, so as to warn us that girls will eventually return to their families without working too hard. In fact, everyone has a different definition of a good marriage. Some people think that having money, power, a house and a car is a good marriage. When we grow up, we will add our desire for material things to our eyes. Some boys say that girls are realistic. In fact, to be fair, everyone wants to live a good life and no one wants to live a poor life. It's just that people want different things at different stages. Then why don't you marry better than those who don't study well? I got married a few days ago, and my heart was full of ideas. My mother talked with me all night and told me what kind of person I would marry in the future. After thinking for a long time, I said, mom, I don't have such a blessing. I don't know what to say. College education will make every girl proud and unwilling to settle down. Later, in order to comfort my mother and myself, I said, mom, I have always believed that I will marry a good man, be good to you and me, and be an excellent boy. I have always believed that such people will exist, but not yet. In fact, more and more people are getting married around me, and my sister who grew up together is also married. I don't know how to explain this. I think every girl will miss my question, and they have nothing outstanding. Why can they marry someone who likes their family and agree to give them financial support? Maybe I will explain this problem clearly when I get married, but I gradually understand that women who drive BMW or drive by themselves are not as happy as women sitting in the co-pilot. Take my present company as an example. If a woman is thoughtful, but knows how to advance and retreat, she will show her atmosphere. If a woman can let go, I think she will be happier and happier.

? No matter how happy a person is, he is lonely, and a happy family is happiness. Everyone has different choices and different feelings. Education makes us girls more and more thoughtful and independent. We don't like being pushed around by others or living with people we don't like. But the biggest difference between us and girls who don't go to school is that we dare to choose our own life. Maybe this is why we are strong, just like no one dares to marry a female doctor, but we can't afford it. I have always used the theory of clothes to explain the love between men and women. No one will buy a nice, expensive and beautiful dress, but some people may not dare to wear it after buying it. It is the queen who can smell. Wear as many clothes as you will. Our education is our chance to fight back. As for whether we can find the right person to wear it, that is our personal accomplishment and charm. Because I believe that people who can buy things in the Red Dragon Plaza will not have too bad taste. Because education gives us a sense of superiority, we disdain to find a marriage with no thoughts, only power and money. Maybe in a few years, everyone will still pay the mortgage and look after the children. The difference is that we will have a feeling of life and write about our experiences like this, instead of treating life silently. All we have is an attitude towards life, but it is enough to satisfy all our fantasies about marriage. If we study well, we may not get married, but if we study well, we will.

Just now, my business sister in the company made a big order, and the commission was close to 20 thousand yuan. This department is like a frying pan. Everyone is uncomfortable, maybe it's envy, jealousy and hate. Only I said weakly: I'm still in charge of beauty. . Haha, I think everyone will meet an opportunity. This opportunity did not fall from the sky, but accumulated continuously. Everyone in the department is very kind and encouraging to me, probably because I have been here for two months and haven't placed an order yet. Everyone gave me some problems that I couldn't handle. I am grateful in my heart. I sent an arrogant colleague who didn't talk to me much before. Once she asked me for an inquiry left by an old customer, and I said, you can go if you want. I think this customer has a good intention, but it may be in my hand anyway. In short, you can feel that others don't regard you as an opponent. Sometimes being a man is really more important than doing things. If you think you are weak, maybe you will get more help. There are many girls around me who have been working hard. Although they have not saved a lot of money, they have been working hard like men. Girls who come to work every day abound. I didn't work hard. I used to work hard. Now I want to be better to myself, because only when I love myself will others love you. When I went back to graduate, many children in the class who took the postgraduate entrance examination went to their favorite school as they wished. I remember when I gave my envious blessing to the girl who did the best in the exam in our class, her words made me feel that success is not only hard work, but also attitude. I said to her at that time: you are amazing. You did well in the exam. From then on, I can go back to school and have a brilliant life. But she smiled faintly and said, nothing, I may be lucky. After three years, I still have to find a job or go your way. There is nothing to show off. I just think I have an extra chance to go to school, and I may not be as good as you in a few years. I believe that her attitude is more valuable than the arrogant students who have passed the exam in ordinary schools. We will know in a few years. Just don't take yourself too seriously, because there are too many people who are better than you in this world, and sharp edges will only take your head off. The truly powerful people will not take to the streets to flaunt how awesome they are, but will constantly reflect on every cloud has a silver lining.

? The weak are always lucky. It's not that you are a weak woman and get more opportunities than a female man, but that the real strong know how to advance and retreat, and the strong will only forge ahead. In the end, it was just a draw with a sieve.

? I have read a magazine before. French women are very elegant. They wear lace pajamas for breakfast every morning. In the crowded streets of Paris, even unreasonable taxis will make way for ladies with exquisite clothes and fashion. This may be the reason why Paris, France has become a romantic and fashionable capital.

It's not easy to go out and cook in the kitchen. Every girl should find her own position after the age of 25. Whether you are cute, elegant or sexy, at least find your own characteristics so that people will not forget you. There are many girls who don't pay attention to makeup artist and don't even have their own complete cosmetic bags. Wearing makeup and not wearing makeup are two different things. We don't need too much decoration in life, because we are still young, but if we can't have the necessary skin care, then wait until we are 30 and become a yellow-faced woman. In Japan, women who don't wear makeup to work are considered disrespectful, while many women around us think that makeup is unnatural. In fact, the elegant makeup makes people feel very comfortable and makes people feel that your life is meticulous. I don't know if you have paid attention to the advertisement of Chanel perfume "Women who don't wear perfume have no future" and that every woman must have a lipstick. After 25 years old, it means that she has passed the era of using inferior perfume and cosmetics. Whether she has money or not depends on whether she wants to improve her external cultivation. If you are still wearing cheap goods after four years of training in college, it means that your fashion taste has not improved at all in these four years. It is not that cheap goods are not good, but that we had no temperament when we were young, and we need to use quality clothes to improve our temperament. When you are complacent, others will think that wearing a stall for 5 yuan is a big card. Tamia Liu also said: You don't need one big name to match another, just suit yourself. So we don't need to imitate others, find what suits us and be beautiful in our own eyes. In the state of etiquette in China, if a girl does something indecent in Yatang, the consequence should be boredom. I recommend you to watch an episode of Golden Star Show about the theme of red carpet.

Many girls do not like cooking. In fact, they prefer cooking because they like the taste of different dishes. Besides, I always think that men should not go into the kitchen. You just need to be responsible for the indomitable spirit, and I'll take care of the logistics. For girls who don't like cooking, don't do it at all. Find a husband who can cook. For those who can cook and like to cook, practice cooking to a certain height. You can have at least one specialty. Maybe you will catch each other's heart because of a dish. Nowadays, with the rapid social progress, the status of girls is getting higher and higher. Maybe every girl doesn't have to do laundry and cook any more, but the balance and happiness of the family come from the outside of the man and the inside of the woman. If the man comes home and sees a table full of food, it may be a decompression for a day's work. If there is something wrong with the man's career, the woman will stand up at the right time to support the family, take no credit, manage the family diligently and regard the family as the biggest career in life. I think this kind of woman is the most precious.

In fact, it is nothing more than a microcosm of my own five-year experience. Whether a woman is a man or not, she has her loveliness. Not that women are bad. I just think it might be more exciting to combine rigidity with softness. I am an example myself. I don't need to put too much pressure on myself. Don't be brave. There is a saying in the movie Notting Hill: I was just a girl! We should always remember that we are actually a girl, financially independent, earning enough money for cosmetics and giving some space to the boys around us. The world still needs their support. Emotional intelligence is far more important than IQ in interpersonal communication. I am simple and happy. I should be naive and happy as a girl in her twenties. Maybe after a few years, I will feel naive when I get married and have children, but I like to enjoy this growing process, whether it is right or wrong, just think about what I once had. I believe we will wait until the day when the flowers bloom!

After a day, the manuscript was finally finished. The above is purely personal, don't spray if you don't like it!