I was just being polite. Don't take it seriously!

A friend told a story that sounded extremely embarrassing.

A friend has a relative who has a modest business, a little money and a low level of education. This relative, the son of a client, got married and sent an invitation to this relative, which read "Invite XXX and his family" to the wedding banquet.

This was more than ten years ago. At that time, invitations were single in style, and many invitations would be printed with the words "bring the whole family".

But usually, nobody takes it seriously. Who to find.

This relative of my friend has lived for more than 50 years, but he doesn't understand this truth. He went home with an invitation and said to his wife, son and new wife, tomorrow night we will dress up and go to a wedding bar.

Daughter-in-law asked: Whose wedding banquet?

My father-in-law said: I am the client.

Daughter-in-law is surprised: the son of the party gets married and the whole family goes? Not suitable! Only you can go!

My father-in-law threw the invitation out unhappily: don't you understand? People write clearly "bring the whole family". If you don't bring your whole family, you will lose face.

The daughter-in-law was deeply helpless and chose to shut up. My mother-in-law and husband agreed with my father-in-law: of course! Why not go to the wedding reception?

Then, a few people dressed up and went to the hotel written on the wedding invitation.

The hotel lobby is full of people and extraordinary style. There are at least 50 tables visually. There are seats on every table, and there are guiding signs at the door. The host is entertaining guests, but I don't see him. A friend's relatives lead a family of four and find their own places. Then I was dumbfounded. The table was full of people and there was only one place left. On the card, only he has his name, and there is no "XXX and the whole family".

The friend's relatives quickly became angry from embarrassment and said angrily, what do you mean? How could you do that? Do not eat! Let's go!

His bejeweled wife is more angry than he is: Yes! Look down on people! It clearly says bring the whole family!

Everyone was dumbfounded, and the daughter-in-law bowed her head and wanted to find a place to drill in.

The host finally got wind of it. Seeing this scene, he was shocked for a long time and could not speak. When he reacted, he apologized and said that he would rearrange his position, but his relatives said on the spot: We will never communicate again!

And left with the whole family.

His wife was still angry and said, how did this happen? You said "bring the whole family". You are a terrible person!

The master was speechless.

After listening to this story, I was shocked and my gossip soared: That daughter-in-law seems to be a smart person. Can she live with this family?

The answer makes me feel better: obviously, I can't go on, my three views are seriously different, and I am divorced.

Oh, that's good.

A normal person, living in such an unruly, heartless and unreasonable family, is either assimilated or crazy.

2

When I first married my husband, my father-in-law always called him: When are you free in XXX? Come to XXX and have dinner with us! XXX's birthday, marriage, children's college entrance examination, housewarming. ...

After Mr. Wang hung up the phone, he always asked me: What happened at XXX's house and asked us to have dinner together?

I often wonder when I hear it: Is the grandson of your uncle's grandfather married? Is today your aunt's granddaughter's birthday? Is this relationship too far away? Your parents are representative of your family. Why did you call us? So many people, go hunting wolves or something? If you are a child, it is understandable to follow your parents, but we are adults in a small independent family. What kind of experience is it to eat everywhere with parents?

Mr. Wang said: My dad said, people said, "Come with the whole family!" !

I was so angry that I couldn't type it out: I have been a China native for so many years, and I dare not know. It's called politeness! That's polite! Not serious or serious! You really went to the whole family of four or five, and you will find that except for your close relatives and friends, others only went to one or two people as representatives.

Because of my insistence, I refused to take my husband and children to an irrelevant dinner with his parents. Over time, my father-in-law stopped shouting. Even if he goes, he will say: it doesn't matter if you don't go.

After attending n dinners, he also found that few people really went out with their families.

Of course, in the event of a major dinner for immediate family members of both sides, we will not only go, but also prepare for the younger generation.

Of course, this matter belongs to my parents, so there is nothing to worry about. Because, I don't have to go to the dinner, my parents won't ask us to go at all, they automatically help us distinguish and block.

My mother has a saying: it doesn't matter if you have a meal. However, whether you should go or not, whether you can go alone or not, reflects whether you can handle it and be a person. Sometimes you feel that people call you, and you go to dinner to give them face and be polite. In fact, on the contrary, it is polite when people shout "the whole family comes". If you do go, you will certainly be warmly received, but you will be depressed.

Husband is sometimes vague and asks: How do you judge whether a person is sincerely invited or polite?

My mother said that there is no need to distinguish whether people are sincere or hypocritical, whether they will go or not, or that some are only suitable for people who are impolite and some are suitable for people who are polite. As for how to say it, it depends on whether you can be a man or not.

3、

If it is not so absolute whether to attend the dinner of relatives, then the dinner of friends and colleagues must be clearly defined.

There is a colleague in my father's work unit, and it is wonderful to attend a colleague's dinner.

In my dad's department, some departments often get together, and colleagues in the department, who have something to do, will also host the dinner and go out.

But this is just between colleagues. If someone has something to do, other colleagues will go to dinner when they are free. If not, the host will also look for opportunities to return members or make up invitations. Occasionally, colleagues will take very young children to dinner, which is harmless.

But one of them is a male colleague, which is very strange. Naturally, he won't miss the dinner he can attend. In case he happens to have something to attend a colleague's dinner, his way is to let his wife eat!

His wife, first, is an employee of the same unit, and second, she is unfamiliar with her colleagues.

Of course, I helped him eat it several times, and he had to be cooked if he was not cooked. But this does not prevent other colleagues from being very dissatisfied with this.

This is not surprising. Once, a colleague invited guests at home. This wonderful flower didn't have time to eat by herself, and his wife was unwell and didn't have time to eat. What can be done? Finally, let the high school daughter represent him alone and go to the dinner party of his colleague's house.

Later, he found this method feasible and tried it every time.

Later, even if he had time to go to dinner, he wouldn't go alone, either with an unrelated wife, a daughter who was about to grow up, or both.

He turned a deaf ear to all complaints.

My mother commented: this is not a question of being a man, but a question of character.

4、

If we say that eating depends on personality and being a man, then there are also questions about inviting guests from universities.

Lao Zhang, a colleague in the next office, is frowning and accepting an invitation: I don't understand. This man and I are only nodding acquaintances at best. Why did you send me an invitation? Do you think I should go or not? Go ahead, I feel puzzled. Don't go, people send invitations, even if you don't go, you have to go with them! Are you depressed?

Really depressed! I really don't know what the person who invited me is thinking.

Sister Liu, who is about to retire in my office, is also depressed: several people in the XX department heard that I was going to retire and called me to dinner, saying that they would see me off.

I said: this is a good thing! Invite you to dinner!

Sister Liu curled her lips: The problem is that this meal is inexplicable! I've been working for decades, and I'm a casual acquaintance with those people. I never want them to send me and invite me to dinner. Although people are kind, I still feel embarrassed about this meal! If I don't go, I will lose face. If I go, I will be embarrassed!

I also left the pie mouth: treating guests is also a university question!

Sister Liu, who is in her fifties, began to give me a class as a big sister: I can tell you that both the guests and the visitors are asked by the university! Don't invite the wrong people, don't eat the wrong food! A person, regardless of other things, if he can think about what food to eat and what guests to invite, then other aspects of his life will not be too bad.

I added with conviction: If it is my decision to attend the dinner! That must be consistent with dinner and relationships, from clothing to etiquette, from speech to manners; If the guests to be invited are determined, we should pay attention to the address of eating, food, alcohol and tobacco, and the way of hospitality.

Sister Liu smiled and said, Being a man again is also a university!