Pride makes people want to be praised and recognized by others —— Dialogue between Tingting and Di Wei (2)

In the last episode of the dialogue, Tingting mentioned that when she often says a word or does something, she will have a desire to be praised or recognized by others.

In fact, in our research, this mentality or thinking stems from the driving force of a proud heart.

When everyone is born, according to the past electronic data recorded by genes, we have a "natural personality", which is expressed from our research point of view, that is, everyone's "conscious gene structure". In other words, everyone is born with different indexes such as extremes, negativity, fear, pride and anger, and will naturally react differently to external things.

The "genetic structure of consciousness" consists of different mentalities.

And when a person inherits more pride, it will also push this person to respond to more pride in life.

For example, I want to be recognized more, and I want others to think that I have a good career, a good partner, a good child and everything. If I don't approve of mine, or think I'm bad, I'll feel humiliated, hurt my self-esteem, get angry and get back at others easily.

In fact, the deeper pride is fear-fear of being looked down upon, fear of losing face, fear that others feel that they are not good enough, and fear of not being recognized.

In our research, we found that the frequency of pride will bring an effect, which will make our career fail, heart problems, diabetes and so on. Also, because pride can also lead to many other mentalities, such as the counterattack mentality now mentioned is one of them.

In this conversation, Di Wei has a very unique view on how to always seek outside recognition, so he wants to share it with more people.

Tingting: Q&, a student of Four Unique Genes; Answer? Di Wei: Founder of Sijue Gene

Tingting: I notice that I often have a strong sense, such as what I did and said, and I have a desire to be praised and recognized by others. And this feeling is very strong, so when I can't get it, it's easy to fight back immediately. I noticed that my pride and fight back are very powerful.

Dewey: Yes, that's right. That's why I explained it to others last night. This sense of identity means that you agree with yourself and don't need others to agree with you.

Tingting: How can I determine my identity?

Dewey: No, but you have to do what others can't.

For example, I get up every day. After taking a shower, I will clean the glass of the whole bathroom and make the bed. When folding the bed, I will slowly smooth the sheets with a wet towel, and then tighten them like a mirror, which no one does. In fact, we don't have to do this at all, because we live in a hotel and people clean it every day.

I will tidy up my room very well. I will put everything in order, or I think some things should not be put on the table. I will put them in the drawer, which is something that no one else will do at all.

Including we usually eat in the coffee shop, although there are waiters, but will clear the table, wash the cups, these are not everyone can do.

But I am proud that I can have this respect. I respect this hotel, this table and this cup because I love it and cherish it. I don't just use it. I'll leave it here after drinking.

I will take all my garbage directly to the garbage room on the negative 1 floor of the hotel and throw it there. Even if it takes 10 minutes, I'll go. I won't be lazy at all, but I will do more.

Tingting: How to define enough is enough?

Dewey: I didn't do it for some benefit. It's just a kind of love and a respectful heart.

The more you do these things, the better you will feel and be willing to spend some time doing everything well. Everything you do has a quality (standard) for me.

For example, when I wash cups, I wash them with a lot of detergent on purpose. If someone else did it, just wash it with water. When you smell this cup, you will smell a fishy smell, even saliva, which makes you feel unsanitary.

I can't do it. I have to choose many different detergents. I think this can really get rid of some flavor, so I will wash a cup with a lot of water.

After washing and drying, there will still be a little smell of detergent in the cup. The next time someone uses it, it will smell very fragrant. That is, I will manage a lot, which has nothing to do with me.

Tingting: Yes! You think about things in a broad way, and you will consider a lot.

Dewey: Yes, I will think from many angles.

Tingting: Yes, your way of thinking is three-dimensional and has many levels. Most of us have no idea how to think like this. It's quite narrow. We just want what we want.

Dewey: So, when you are willing to do it, it is not for money, not for your name and interests. What you just said is fame and fortune. For example, asking others for permission is also fame and power.

I do most things, and basically everything has nothing to do with fame and fortune. I didn't do anything for fame and fortune, but I found my confidence in myself. I am different from most people in this world, so I will stand out from the crowd.

This is a kind of self-identity, knowing in my heart that I am superior to most people. As long as I know, I don't need others to know or agree with me.

Tingting: You appreciate yourself!

Dewey: Yes, I admire myself. Being a man is to appreciate yourself, not to be appreciated by others, but for yourself!

First of all, be yourself and don't always look outside. Don't you see others and think, "Does this person agree?" What I do by myself is to identify with myself first.

Tingting: What I do by myself is to identify myself, not for others, but with my heart, right?

Di Wei: Do a good job with real heart and strength. Whether it's washing toilets, mopping floors, folding clothes or washing clothes, you should do it with your heart.

The way I walk is particularly difficult. I deliberately want to take a difficult road, just to see if I have such skills, such courage and such patience, and whether I can get through this.

Tingting: I will train myself very hard, because it is easy to give up in this life.

Dewey: Yes, you have given up forever. You just have an illusion-asking for others' approval. Because you don't agree with yourself, others won't agree with you.

Tingting: I like it.

Di Wei: So people will become greedy, greedy for speed, convenience, reputation and profit. It seems that they want these things soon, but nothing can be fast.

Tingting: I used to have this mentality and way of doing things, and I didn't want to do things down to earth. Now I really feel that my personality is very bad.

Dewey: Yes, most people do. I feel very lucky, because I am not born this way, and I think things are different from others.

Tingting: Now I feel lucky, too. I can study in Sijue Gene, and I have the opportunity to know that life has its own operation. It is very different from the previous theory and has an eye-opening feeling.

Dewey: Yes, there are many differences. So when you come here to study, you should be very satisfied and grateful, because you will see another world full of possibilities.

Tingting: Yes, I feel very lucky when I come. Excuse me, what did you just say that I would see another possible world?

Di Wei: It is to understand the world behind life, and the operation of life is systematic. After understanding, I know how to get happiness according to the operating rules of the system. I don't need anyone or a lot of money. I can do it myself.

Even if I make a cup of coffee, I can get a kind of happiness. I am proud to find a way to make a cup of coffee without spending a lot of money. What kind of sugar should I look for? Which milk powder is good? Or is it better to add milk powder and milk? How much sugar? How much coffee do you want? Understand? It's all experiments, experiments.

Life is related to experiments. How can I do one thing well?

Tingting: So your spirit of being a man and doing things is to use this spirit in everything, not to make a difference? For example, if you do life science research, will you put this spirit more on life science research?

Dewey: That's not true. I will study everything.

Tingting: Few people do things like you, or think things like this. It's almost impossible. We can learn and train ourselves from some things in life. Train yourself first, but you may not be able to do it well

Dewey: That's all right. You often think: Is it possible for me to do it better? When you do it once, what method will you do it next time? Will it be better than last time? That's it!

Tingting: That is, you have to ask yourself and answer yourself and train yourself every time you do something? Excuse me, is there any advantage in doing so?

Dewey: Because every time you can do something good, you will appreciate what you have done. That's the point.

For example, I shine my shoes every day. Then I will buy a lot of different brushes, maybe a dozen brushes, try each one, and then what kind of cleaner do I want to use?

One day, I finally found it. My shoes are a little dirty after I go back every day. I will clean them, and I enjoy the whole process.

I spend 15 minutes cleaning my shoes every day. When I finish, I'll have a look at it. Wow! So clean! I will put it aside to dry, and when I get up to wear it the next morning, my heart will light up.

For me, I just need to give something to make my world a better place! I don't miss other people's world, as long as everything I can feel is beautiful in my world.

Then my range is very small, just my room, or down to the lobby of the hotel, from my desk to others, I see my range. For example, if the table is not so upright, then I'll straighten it.

Tingting: For example, you have such high standards, but some people don't, but you won't criticize. Don't you think this person is like this?

Di Wei: I won't criticize, so if he doesn't have this standard, let him go. I don't criticize. Of course, sometimes I feel that some people push the stool and leave, but this is also someone else's business, and I will put it right after seeing it.

Tingting: Don't you think there is something wrong with this person?

Dewey: I won't. This is human nature. This is how people do things. They only think about how to make more money and how to get something from others.

And when a person thinks about it all day, it is very unhappy. They will never think about what I think. Therefore, I am happy because others can't do it, because I can do it.

Tingting: Why are you happy? Because they can't?

Dewey: Because I am unique, there are 7 billion people in the world, and no one does what I am doing, then I will feel like a master.

Tingting: What is a person?

Dewey: I think people are happy. If you are happy, you will naturally have money, many friends, many opportunities, good health and everything.

Tingting: Then I want to be such a person.

I want to ask about uniqueness again. I think many people want to be unique.

Dewey: Then you have to do the hardest thing, to love/cherish everything, not just what you want.

Tingting: Maybe the average person has a different understanding of this uniqueness.

Dewey: For me, what I am doing is something that no one will do, because of their laziness, their pride and their greed.

For me, I am very happy, because I am willing to do something so-called difficult, or something that others completely ignore.

Why should I earn 1 billion?

I want to straighten this stool. I am already happier than earning 1 100 million. Moving stools is much easier than earning 1 100 million! For me, it is hopeless to earn 654.38 billion. I don't have such a gift, but it is my gift to pay attention to these nuances and love/cherish everything. It is my gift to love everything, or to measure anything.

But some people also like to get something. For example, some people like making coffee, designing glasses and playing the piano. It's their gift, so do it well.

If you write, but not for yourself, then you really write for mankind.

If someone is willing to follow my example, they will look at themselves differently. He will establish a sense of self-satisfaction with himself and does not need to get satisfaction from the outside world.

Tingting: I wonder if many people, like me, really want to be recognized by others?

Dewey: of course, basically everyone does, but they will never get it.

Tingting: From my experience, I really can't get it, and I will become very unhappy because I can't get it.

Now, through this conversation, I began to know more about my mentality and thinking mode. Your explanation reassured me this time. Maybe it's because my previous thoughts were too attached to my own thinking mode. I always feel that something is repeating, but I don't know where the root cause is, but I can't jump out of the limitations of this thinking mode. Now I feel suddenly enlightened. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain so much to me. Thank you very much

Tingting asked Di Wei that this article was long and rich in content. We divide this conversation into two articles to share. Please refer to the following order.

Dialogue series between Tingting and Di Wei

Dismantle the Root of Counterattack —— Tingting talks with Di Wei (1)

Pride makes people want to be praised and recognized by others —— Dialogue between Tingting and Di Wei (2)