Travel Notes on the Northwest Loop (10)

Travel Notes on the Northwest Loop (10)

? Loneliness in the Desolation

After leaving the oil town of Aksai, Dunhuang is close. Gradually descend along the mountain. Looking at the sky full of yellow sand in front of me, waves of heat surged in my heart, and I was a little excited. The fiery emotion at this time was not a contempt for the beautiful scenery seen a few days ago, but the unexpected passion of those scenery. However, the longing for Dunhuang and the desert was the dream of my youth. Things that have been anticipated for many years are about to come true, and the excitement and surge in the heart will inevitably turn into waves of heat.

Suddenly, at the ridge connecting the sand mountains, I saw a long light pillar. It was motionless, surrounded by yellow sand, and there was no equipment to interpret the light pillar. I stared at it, always wondering if it could be an alien civilization like a flying saucer. During the twenty-minute journey, it kept swaying left and right in front of the car, like a guiding light. Under the scorching desert sun, its dazzling light is even more novel. In fact, it is just stationary there, we are the ones moving. On the sand mountain, no matter how I identified it, I could not get out of the UFO illusion. However, I know in my heart that it has nothing to do with alien civilization. I asked the tour guide, but he had no answer. In the evening, I accidentally learned that Dunhuang, managed by Jiuquan City, is located at the westernmost end of the Hexi Corridor, at the intersection of Gansu, Qinghai, and Xinjiang provinces (regions). Dunhuang should not be far from Jiuquan. When it comes to Jiuquan, it is a military secret known to people all over the country. Therefore, the existence of that light pillar is no longer mysterious.

As we entered Dunhuang city, we passed by the sand mountain. I looked up and carefully identified it. It was a piece of equipment similar to a reflector, standing mysteriously and alone on the sand mountain. Its loneliness, no soul, no life, but I feel its loneliness. However, when we faced a majestic statue in the desert, I understood the power of loneliness.

Finally saw the desert. I have imagined countless times how I would feel when faced with a sky full of yellow sand. One feeling is very strong, that is heat. It was around three o'clock in the afternoon in Dunhuang. It was so hot that I couldn't breathe, and my skin was red from the sun.

About 25 kilometers away from Dunhuang, a sculpture called "The Road to the West" stands alone in the yellow sand in the wilderness. On the towering stele is a portrait of Tang Sanzang seeking Buddhist scriptures from the West. He looked up to the West alone and walked with difficulty on the vast sand dunes. There are also several lines of inscriptions on the pedestal: This place is 1,750 kilometers away from Islamabad and 2,100 kilometers away from Samarkand...

In the open and desolate place, it becomes increasingly desolate and difficult, but it is inexplicably shocking! Although Xuanzang was lonely, he had faith in his heart, but he was not lonely.

Dunhuang, fragments of memory.

Ever since I can remember my childhood, I have had some yearning for it. The yearning comes from the few New Year pictures my family buys every Chinese New Year. Maybe my mother likes it, and there are New Year pictures of ladies or flying stars every year. She has a slender figure, her flying head is tied up, her upper body is wearing a bare mesh slim-fitting garment, a long skirt is tied around her waist, and colorful ribbons are draped over her shoulders, so she is flying in the wind. There are smallpox scattered all around, the clouds are drifting, the clothes are swaying, and the postures are charming and enchanting.

The rich imagination brought by Feitian has created many fantasies about the outside world and Dunhuang since childhood. I dreamed that one day I could go to Dunhuang and see the wonders of Feitian.

The reason for this trip to the Northwest Grand Ring Road was my daughter’s yearning for Dunhuang and the cave paintings in the desert oasis.

It is said that if you have a dream, you must realize it, and if you have an ideal, you must pursue it. If I didn’t have my daughter accompanying me, perhaps my dream of flying to the sky in Dunhuang would be just a dream, a childhood dream that would eventually become a fragment in my memory. As I get older, I pursue fewer and fewer things, and instead like to take things as they come.

Perhaps it was God’s blessing that we stayed in Dunhuang for two nights during our trip. When we arrived in Dunhuang, it was already six o'clock in the evening. The sun was still high in the sky, the temperature was thirty-eight degrees, and it was scorching hot. This is the only city where the temperature is similar to that in the mainland after we climbed continuously over the mountains and ridges. After checking into the hotel, my daughter was a little excited. After many days of walking, she finally got her dream face.

On the way, I sent many photos of travel scenery. An old friend from many years ago learned that I was going to Dunhuang. He happened to be on a business trip in Dunhuang for half a year and became familiar with the city. He wanted to invite me. Dinner with my daughter. My daughter is tired and it’s hard for me to refuse. After sending my hotel location, he sent his location within two minutes. Coincidentally, the hotel I stayed in was only across the road from his hotel.

I was sitting in a booth in the hotel, looking at the front door of the hotel opposite through the floor-to-ceiling windows. A ray of setting sun hit the lintel of the hotel. Time passes so quickly. Suddenly I remembered that twenty-five years had passed since the last time we met, more than 8,400 days and nights. So many days and nights, a person who was once so familiar fell into the details of life and became blurred.

I recognized the person pushing the door open, looked left and right, strode across the road, and took two steps. Old, just like me. Fat, just like me. The moment my friend opened the door, I stood up and walked over. He stared at me and shook his head. He had gained a lot of weight.

No matter how strong the feelings were at the beginning, they are separated and become strangers. If two people who once loved each other separated, it seemed that even friendship could no longer exist.

I looked at the restaurants on the street and found nothing I wanted to eat, so I finally chose noodles. Going to a strange place and eating noodles is the best for your stomach and intestines. You smiled slightly and thought it should be four dishes and one soup. There is still a little bit of self-righteousness hidden in the same smile as before, and I feel that I can't do anything and have no ideas. However, time changes everything, and the change in role makes me extremely powerful.

At the dining table by the window, in a vaguely unfamiliar atmosphere, we talked about separation, regrets, helplessness, and misses. However, regret, helplessness, missing out... are all inevitable. I didn't speak, I just listened.

It is very late, and the setting sun on the plateau is still hanging in the west, emitting a dazzling light. Looking at the fiery sunset in the west and the lively square dancing ladies on the riverside, with their leisurely dance steps, it's already nine o'clock, and my eyes are already astringent and a little tired.

In this oasis in the desert, the sky is still bright, and the dry and warm environment makes me feel physically more comfortable compared to the unbearably hot climate at home.

Before going to bed at night, my daughter said excitedly that she would finally be able to visit the Mogao Grottoes tomorrow, but unfortunately she could only visit four caves. My daughter has a strong preference for ancient buildings and antiquities. I don’t know why she would stop for a long time in front of an ancient cultural relic. I don’t know what she was thinking in her mind at the moment she stopped, and what kind of logic and thinking she formed. Facing the seemingly cold and mysterious ancient artifacts. Studying archeology and reading history are her favorite things. Before traveling, she had already checked the introduction and browsing hot spots of Dunhuang Mogao Grottoes on her mobile phone and done her homework.

A night without dreams is best.