Apartment Life Notes

"Memories of Apartment Life" comes from Zhang Ailing's collection of essays "Rumors". Zhang Ailing is really a writer who can read old. I was infatuated with her when I was young because I was attracted by her gorgeous and soft literary talent, her bizarre costumes, and her independent and arrogant personality. When I read her in my middle age, what I read was the desolation and simplicity in my heart, the childlike ignorance and curiosity, and the restraint and simplicity of a country person. There are shadows of her evasiveness and embarrassment everywhere in the text, which is so honest that it makes people feel distressed. In "Love in a Fallen City", Fan Liuyuan said to Bai Liusu: "I like you to bow your head the most." In photos, Eileen Chang's head is always raised at an angle of 35 degrees, but in life and in words, Eileen Chang is like a good student, shyly lowering her head, listening and feeling the complicated world with her heart, because the five senses are connected to the seven emotions and six desires. , only the heart is pure and compassionate.

I also bought an apartment. After getting the key, I have been reluctant to step through the door. Why? House prices have fallen. The real estate that I was originally interested in never opened, and the house price soared by more than 300,000 yuan in three to five months. It was almost time to say goodbye to my new house. It happened that someone was selling a house at a low price. It was the same price as when I first inspected the house, but the location was not good, on the side of the road. But for the price difference of hundreds of thousands, all dissatisfaction was gone. When I bought it, it felt like I had found a treasure. It took a lot of hard work, but I was even more happy. I thought about it all day long... But at the end of last year, banners all over the street were announcing the sale of houses at low prices in this community. advertise. That "ugly girl", when I loved her, the pockmarks on her face shone brightly, but now she has slanted eyes, a flat nose, a crooked mouth, and the black pockmarks on her face, a plate of baked sesame cakes can be connected with just a pat. , it’s better not to see it than to feel uncomfortable. He chose his own daughter-in-law, and refused to listen to anyone's advice and forced her into marrying her. Now complaining about it is like shooting himself in the foot, and he has no choice but to pretend to be fat to avoid gossip. A few days ago, my sister called me to remind me that the decoration will be done in July and August. Now we have to start designing and installing water and electricity. I waved my arms across the phone and swore loudly: Yes, madam. As soon as I put down the phone, I hit my chin on the table and rolled my eyes. Oh my god, this is a big joke. It's 14 to 50 million. It's not easy to turn around. With no choice, I had to turn to books for help. I remembered that the Edinburgh apartment where Zhang Ailing once lived was also located in a bustling street market, and I remembered that she also wrote an article "Memories of Apartment Life".

Turning to the first sentence: "When I read the two sentences 'I want to ride the wind back, but I am afraid that the high places will be too cold'", my tears flowed down. Do I insist on buying the one on the top floor just to taste the cold feeling of being "cold at high places"? My mother advised me: If you buy it for such a high price, it will be difficult to sell it in the future. I retorted: Why are you thinking about divorcing someone else before she gets married? But just last Saturday, on this weird March day, the temperature jumped to 30 degrees Celsius. I was doing laundry on the top floor of my house. It was so stuffy and hot that I felt nervous and short of breath. This was only the fourth floor. Couldn’t the top floor of that small high-rise building become Taishang Laojun’s alchemy furnace?

I also read, “When it rained too hard, there was a flood in the house. We took turns to rescue... After working for two days and nights, a layer of skin was rubbed off on the palms of our hands, but the roots of the walls were still wet and sticky. The wallpaper on the wall is still stained with spots of water and mildew. "Wow, I was beating my chest and feet in pain, and my intestines were really blue with regret.

Read again "I often feel incomprehensible. The noise on the street can be heard very clearly on the sixth floor, as if it is right under my ears..." He fell to the sky and almost went into shock. Until "I like to listen to the sound of the market." The heartbeat finally calmed down. "People who are more poetic than me listen to the pine waves and the tsunami on their pillows, but I can't sleep until I hear the sound of the tram." He burst out laughing at such a weird hobby. Close your eyes and imagine how beautiful the sound of vehicles rushing into the castle in the air is, like the roar of a giant waterfall, the howl of the north wind, the thunder of heavy rain, the roar of dragons and the roar of tigers. Imagine that you are sitting on a wall. On the cliff of Ren, I played the piano and wiped my sword, smiling proudly in the world.

"The trams come one after another, like children in a queue, noisy, clamoring, happily ringing the hoarse bells: 'Klin, Klay, Klay, Klay!' Noisy There is a bit of tameness born of fatigue, like children who are about to go to bed, waiting for their mother to wash them off. "This is Zhang Ailing, who loves to listen to the sounds of the market, and sees the world with innocent eyes. She loves the world and is not as arty as Ye Gong loves dragons. She says that red and green are beautiful, but at the end she insists on adding that vulgarity means elegance. She has to elevate the "vulgarity" to a certain transcendental style before she dares to make it public.

If the Ye Gongs are allowed to listen to "Clin, Krai" all day long, not to mention whether they will be able to give birth to such a vivid imagination as "children queuing up for bathing", even if a group of flowers of the motherland are really dancing under her ears all day long, she will definitely I was so annoyed that my ears were filled with cotton balls, a wet towel was placed on my forehead, and I sighed. Yesi mentioned in the article "Two Illusions": "If the hippies riding donkeys and walking into the church decorated with flowers are just artistic images for us, then 'the west wind blows, the snowflakes are flying', in the north Isn't the donkey spinning in the mill another artistic image? They are equally unreal to us. "The reason why today's literature is empty and vulgar is that we always like to write some kind of pandering in words. The illusion of worldly desires, we always avoid facing real life, ignore the beauty of real life, and use a bunch of concepts that are divorced from the real thing to package and whitewash it. Just as I use literary illusions such as the cold at high places, cliffs, rivers and lakes, etc., to arouse my love for the new house, in fact it only serves as a literary anesthetic. Zhang Ailing, who lives alone in a high-rise building, really loves to smell the smoke and dust in the market. Watered by a literary soul, the smoke and dust in the market bloom into poetic flowers. However, when this poetic flower was hyped into a petty bourgeoisie symbol, its core spirit was completely dispelled, leaving only a pile of colorful shells. Any kind of cultural fashion, when it has not yet been discovered as the originator of a trend, is an elegant culture with unique charm of life. It was later made vulgar by blind followers who did not know the reason.

“The apartment is the most ideal place to escape from the world. People who are tired of the metropolis often miss the peaceful and quiet countryside, and long for the day when they can retire and return to the fields, keep bees and vegetables, and enjoy some happiness. . Little did you know that buying half a pound of bacon in the countryside would cause a lot of gossip, but on the top floor of an apartment, you could just stand in front of the window and change clothes." This paragraph expresses my original intention of choosing the top floor. There is no better way to escape from the world than to isolate yourself from the world. For people like us who are naturally incapable of attack and defense, taking the initiative to withdraw from the seat and distance ourselves from the crowd is the best way to protect ourselves. The top floor is the floor with the least dependence on neighbors in a building. On other floors, at least the sewers, ceilings, clothes drying, and living noise are all restricted by the upper class. The shortcomings of the top floor can be made up for by modern technology. Air conditioners can be turned on to reduce heat, roof tiles can be installed to reduce leaks, and double-layer hollow glass windows can be installed to reduce street noise. The biggest advantage of the penthouse is that you can expose your privacy to the sun without having to worry about anyone prying. Zhang Ailing said that she could stand in front of the window to change clothes, but that was already childish to me. In the summer, if there is no one at home, I like to work naked. After finishing the work, I can take a shower before getting dressed, which saves me one less set of clothes to wash. To the north of the new house is endless fields, to the south is a four-story terraced building, and outside the terraced building is a park. The front and rear gardens are unobstructed, and even curtains can be saved. Only seven or eight houses in this row of the entire community have this privilege.

There is no 100% satisfactory house in the world, just as there are no 100% satisfactory people in the world. When you like someone, all you think about is his merits; when you hate him, all you look at is his shortcomings. No matter how indifferent people get along for a long time, they will develop family affection. How hard is it to fall in love with a house? Design it, decorate it with your heart, and melt your inspiration and habits into it. It will adhere to your body temperature and your soul. It is the most suitable place for you to live on the earth, and it is also your favorite place to live.

Written on March 13, 2013, revised on May 27, 2019

Postscript: I have been feeling deeply unwell recently, maybe because the large painting was broken a few days ago. , calligraphy, painting, reading, writing, and flower gardening, taking care of all five, my brain is really exhausted. I still write in my diary every day, but after I couldn’t post it on a certain platform, I simplified it. When I can’t write an article, I salvage old articles. Being able to spot flaws in old articles at a glance and make corrections proves that my writing ability has not declined. An article always takes an hour or two to revise. Now I feel that good articles come from revision. I will try to compile a collection of books before the end of July.