"That's it, mountains and rivers will never meet again."

I have fantasized about Sean Song for many times.

For example, on the street corner, we suddenly bumped into each other's sight and stared at each other, lonely and long.

For example, in a coffee shop with bright French windows, we are warm and happy through the huge glass.

For example, at the class reunion many years later, I dressed up and flaunted, and then let my eyes meet Sean Song in the crowd, and the winner was decided by the crackle.

Unfortunately, fate finally revealed a very embarrassing answer.

"Han Xiaoke?"

When Sean Song called me behind my back that day, I was wolfing down a cup of Guandong boiled in front of the hotel.

I turned around and bumped into the wall. I looked up and found that Sean Song was looking at me with a condescending attitude.

"Shit!" I scolded a dirty word in my heart in regret, and then took out a paper towel and wiped the soup stains on my mouth.

"Why did you eat so late?" Sean Song's expression is like interacting with an old friend, which makes me have no reason to jump.

"I can't help it. I got up early in the morning to catch the train and didn't have time to have breakfast, but this Shanghai Guandong cooking is as delicious as ever. "

I pretended to calmly tear up a pile of stewed mushrooms, but my flashing eyes jumped out and betrayed myself.

I'm not in a tit-for-tat mood.

"It's still early. Let's go in and have a rest."

Colleague Xiaodong looks like Howard the Duck. But the next second, I froze, because Xiaodong was watching Sean Song.

"Ah, manager Song, I didn't expect you to arrive so early. That's perfect. We still have time to check the contents of the contract later. When signing the contract formally, please ask Mr. Song to be merciful. "

Small east grinning, politely led Sean Song to the hotel.

"Xiaoke, what are you doing? Hurry up." Xiaodong saw that I was hesitant and turned to urge me.

I suddenly woke up and followed suit.

Sean Song, half a meter away, is swinging at my feet. This reminds me of the shadow stepping game I played with him under the street lamp many years ago.

It's naive to think about it now.

Sean Song is my college classmate. He is thin, but tall. He stood in the crowd like a long bamboo pole.

Throughout my freshman year, I was busy looking for opportunities to work and study, so I didn't know all the boys, including Sean Song.

When my sophomore year started last semester, I tried my best to apply in the school library and finally got a "long-term job".

On the other hand, Sean Song went six months before me. Every day, like an industrious worker ant, he tirelessly moves all kinds of books and magazines back to his nest.

In the first month, we had a quiet life.

I still remember the day before the National Day holiday, because I was temporarily sent by my teacher to the college to get back a big stack of school publicity magazines, I missed dinner time and had to start working hungry.

Perhaps because of the exhaustion of energy along the way, I found that my hunger was no longer a simple stomach protest, but a surge of nausea, dizziness and cold sweat from top to bottom.

Sean Song was the first person to discover my abnormality.

He came over and patted me and asked me if I needed a rest.

I shook my head and said no problem, and continued to mechanically put the book under the code scanner. This is my consistent stubbornness, and it is also a conditioned reflex to the opposite sex.

Sean Song ignored my refusal and forced me to sit down in the corner and ran to the borrowing desk to work instead of me.

It is said that people who are stubborn in appearance are actually very soft-hearted, very scheming and have low tears.

I dug out a bag of bread from my bag, and before I could swallow it, tears welled up.

So when I was eating bread, I stole a look at Sean Song with burnt eyes, and found that his side face of serious work was really nice.

Back to the dormitory in the evening, Sean Song invited me to eat snacks for the first time.

I didn't refuse.

Under the street lamp, Sean Song's shadow dragged on for a long time, which reminded me of the shadow-stepping game I played when I was a child, so I suddenly jumped up and stepped on Sean Song's shadow.

Sean Song stood there quietly and smiled, smiling from the corners of his mouth, showing the gentleness of the years.

"Xiaoke, lend me your mobile phone to make a phone call. My mobile phone is running out of power. "

Xiaodong's voice interrupted my surging thoughts. I quickly pulled out my mobile phone from my bag and handed it to me, only to find that I took it wrong, so I quickly retracted my hand and changed it for another one.

Han Xiao exclaimed in surprise, "Why do you still have this antique? Nokia's straight mobile phone is full of the times. "

Sean Song's head turned slightly to my side, but he didn't look over. He continued to scan the contract with a sharp side face.

After all, he has been blessed by heaven and his skin is very good, so people who like him will wave after wave.

This includes me.

The contract was successfully signed, and Sean Song was not too picky, so he signed his name.

Xiaodong wants to talk to Sean Song again. He is on pins and needles. I tidied up my file bag with a straight face and rummaged it over and over again. Sean Song didn't stand up immediately, but turned on the computer and sent several work emails in an orderly way.

The three people on the sofa have their own worries.

After the email was sent, Sean Song got up, and Xiaodong jumped out and suggested that everyone have dinner together in the evening. I wish you a happy cooperation.

"No, I have to catch a plane to Shenzhen tonight. There will always be a chance to meet again."

Sean Song and Xiaodong shook hands gently, and then looked at me.

I naturally reached out and gave a standard professional smile. The disguise of adults begins with the most basic social etiquette.

"Are you going back tonight?" Sean Song suddenly looked up and asked me.

"Don't worry, there is another client to visit tomorrow morning, so I have to leave in the afternoon at the earliest." Xiaodong answered politely for me.

Sean Song's hand was a little cold, but he quickly pulled it out and turned away with the wind.

"His cold hands and feet don't look so good."

When the idea flashed in my mind naturally, I realized that I would never forget this man completely.

But what's the point?

Just like the most famous sentence in probability theory, "small probability events are bound to happen", I will meet him one day.

That's all.

In the evening, I got rid of all my irritability, put myself in a huge bathtub and closed my eyes.

The mobile phone at the station vibrates. I took a look. This is the verification information of Sean Song's friend.

I nodded yes.

A message box quickly popped up.

"I want to see you tonight, ok?"

I got up and dressed, stood by the window and looked down at the endless dark blue in front of me.

At night in the magic capital, neon lights flash under the dim light of night, and tireless traffic flows under your feet.

When I think of university, there is a long indus road on campus, and lush leaves cover the sky.

On the edge of the buttonwood tree, slender street lamps stand evenly. As night fell, the wind shook the trees and the lights faded.

Sean Song and I used this color for our first kiss.

It was the 364th day when we met, one day away from a year. Sean Song confessed to me in the shade of a tree, and then hugged and kissed in one breath. I am in his warm arms, like a trembling elk.

And an hour ago, I also received a message from Sean Song.

"I want to see you tonight, ok?"

In the same way, even the punctuation has not changed. Ten years, as if here in Sean Song, stopped.

There's nothing wrong with it.

Just like when you were young and liked someone, it would be a thrilling thing for that person to let you wander in the Sahara desert with you.

But now I am not young. I have been away from Sean Song for five years. Today, I am a young woman in her late thirties.

How should older women deal with the ambiguous invitation of old lovers?

Proud refusal?

No, of course not. The next second, I quickly typed the word "can".

Adults' choices have nothing to do with preferences, only advantages and disadvantages.

Five years ago, I left Sean Song, returned to the second-tier city in my hometown, and started a small advertising company in partnership with some friends. Originally, I was only in charge of copywriting, but because of lack of manpower, I was often temporarily pulled out to make up for sales.

And Sean Song is my friend's father, and he managed to pry it open through his relationship. In addition, this is a year-round advertising contract.

At the moment, I dare not be selfish except gratitude.

But it must be false to say that there is no selfishness at all.

Before going out, I put on a slim dress that I think is the most suitable, put down my long hair tied up during the day and painted a little light makeup to make my skin look less dull.

I'm not fighting for anything, but to prove that I can still live well without him.

In front of the hotel revolving door, Sean Song and his BMW car complement each other. After all, he has gained some meat over the years, making the long and narrow cheeks that used to look full of youthful breath become the breath that elite men should have now.

When he opened the car door with a smile and a gentleman, a false proposition came to mind.

"What would I be like now if I hadn't insisted on leaving this man?"

However, these thoughts only flashed by, because I saw a delicate little photo frame on Peggy's head, and a pig was shaking in front of the seat. It was a photo of Sean Song and a woman, with a little girl's head squeezed in the middle.

"This is my wife and daughter." Sean Song found me staring at the photo frame, so she explained.

"Well, your wife and daughter are both beautiful." I am grateful from the bottom of my heart.

"Thank you." Sean Song smiled back, but I saw a slight change in his facial muscles.

Outside is the bustling Lujiazui, and looking up is the charming Oriental Pearl under the cover of night. Pedestrians on the roadside are shoulder to shoulder and bustling.

A little boy took a photo with his mobile phone, and in the lens was a sweater girl with scissors hands. There was a flash of light and time stood still at this moment.

Once upon a time, I also hoped that time would stop, so that Sean Song and I would not be separated on that spring night.

When I graduated, Sean Song and I hugged each other and sat in the local train. The long brakes stopped at the Shanghai station.

Sean Song said that only Shili Beach is worthy of his young and grand ambition, just like Xu Wenqiang.

My heart has cast a shadow, because this is not a good metaphor, Xu Wenqiang failed Feng Chengcheng.

I coquetry to cover Sean Song's mouth, don't let him say more, as if this can cover up his ambition.

Unfortunately, I'm still naive.

Shanghai, with its sea and sky, soon made Sean Song feel like a duck to water.

Because of his excellent eloquence and excellent professional ability, he is valued by a big company. At first, he was given the position of engineer, but he dismissed it and thought that the technical post was too hopeless. After half a year, he managed to transfer to the Ministry of Commerce.

In the first two years, no matter how late the dinner was, Sean Song would go home to have dinner with me, and then lie in bed contentedly, hug me and imagine the future.

He said that if our career keeps advancing like this, our dream of buying a house in Shanghai is just around the corner.

At that time, I asked him lovingly when he would go back to his hometown to get the certificate.

Sean Song looked at me seriously and said, "Xiaoke, wait a minute, I will marry you if I win the world."

Damn, Song Yang really doesn't understand me. What do I want to do in this world? I just want him.

In the third year after graduation, Sean Song was promoted to department manager and became busier.

At that time, I obviously felt that I was drifting away from him. From body to mind, we began to lose contact. I spend a lot of time washing my hands and making bridal soup every day, waiting for a lover who doesn't know when to come back.

So, I learned to be noisy and irritable, and to attract Sean Song's attention by losing contact. Only when I heard him calling my name on the phone with great anxiety can I get a little satisfaction.

But even so, I never really wanted to leave him.

Until one day, I found another girl in his mobile phone. She is five miles away from the mountain and asks Sean Song to go shopping and eat with her.

I asked Sean Song what had happened.

Sean Song said helplessly, that's the daughter of the client's boss and her own god, and she can't afford to offend.

I adamant4, hysterically noisy endlessly, asked Sean Song immediately broke contact with her.

Sean Song hugged me for a long time and finally promised to give me a long-awaited "surprise" at the birthday dinner a month later.

I believe this will be an ideal proposal.

But on his birthday, Sean Song didn't come home all night. When I called, a girl answered the phone.

"Sean Song is asleep."

There were only five words on the phone, but I was struck by lightning. I hung up in a panic.

Afterwards, Sean Song hugged me and explained over and over again that he was just drunk and was taken home by the boss's daughter, but nothing happened.

"Then, explain to your God."

I sneer, looking at the messy man in front of me, I feel queasy.

When I left Shanghai, I didn't say hello to Sean Song. Instead, I carried a huge backpack, took some clothes and several sets of toiletries that I often changed, locked the door and left.

Three years later, I suddenly found that there are too few things that belong to me here, just like my fate with Sean Song, which is pitifully thin.

On the train, I sent the last message with that Nokia mobile phone in tears.

"That's it, mountains and rivers will never meet again."

"Do you want western food or Chinese food?"

Sean Song asked me after parking.

"Whatever, whatever." This is my pet phrase.

Sure enough, Song Yang said with a smile, you are still the same.

Finally, Sean Song chose a French restaurant.

When I went in, my hands and feet were scared. People who are used to staying in small cities can't adapt to such a glittering place at once.

The waiter served the food again and again, so I had to finish the food in front of me. In fact, the food is a little reluctant, because I have never liked such exquisite and expensive things.

"It costs a lot of money to come here." I have nothing to say.

"Han Xiaoke, I promised you this many years ago, but it's too late." This is the second time that Sean Song called my full name after the reunion.

"Who didn't say a few shameless vows when he was young? And said he would fight you to the end. In the end, I didn't break my word and withdrew without looking back. " I pretended not to care.

Sean Song grinned and smiled, just like when he saw me ignoring his shadow that night.

I think, the god of fate must be an obsessive-compulsive disorder patient, and he has to tell everyone's story from a distance. So, I also smiled, as stupid as that night.

But Sean Song smiled and put down her mouth, and her look gradually became dignified. The advantage of adults is that they are too good at camouflage, but the disadvantage of adults is that they are too bad at camouflage.

"In those days, the surprise I said was to take you to a French dinner and then propose. This contract was also deliberately promoted by me, when I made up for what I owe you. " Sean Song muttered to herself.

I held up the red wine in front of me, took a sip with a smile and cried.

"I want to go to the toilet."

The next second, I turned around and left my position in a panic. I washed my face again and again with tap water in the bathroom alone, until my makeup faded, revealing my original skin state, white and loose, with fine lines in my eyes, which was a kiss from time to time.

Unfortunately, the scene can be reproduced, but the years can't go back.

The emotional tide gradually faded, I tied my hair again and walked out of the bathroom refreshed.

Sean Song sat by the big French window, quietly looking at the brightly lit building in the distance.

That's the beacon of his dreams.

When I approached him gently, he just looked back and his eyes struggled for a while.

And I, in a twinkling, bowed my head and didn't take his eyes. The so-called "hand-to-hand combat" is just an excuse to remember yourself.

Neither Song Yang nor I won in the end.

No one will care about the meaning of parting at the end of the song at the age of twenty until he lives to be twenty and thirty. In this decade, you will find that life is actually set with the end of the game.

A group of people who used to be dense dispersed as they walked. Some people stay in yesterday forever, some people jump into the next hidden level, and some people are invincible and fight to the end.

When Xu Wenqiang left Feng Chengcheng, did he ever think that the world and love can't be both?

Giving the world to her is the most ridiculous joke, because neither she nor the girls in the world can live.

Walking out of the magnificent tall building, I heaved a long sigh of relief, and the air outside was more comfortable.

Sean Song offered to drive me back to the hotel, but I refused. I'm going back by subway. In the first few years after graduation, I shuttled through it almost every day.

Sean Song hesitated, but I stood in front of him and gave him a gentle hug.

"Goodbye, Mr. Song."

Then turned around and quickly disappeared into the crowd at the subway entrance. At the moment when the light on the ground was about to disappear, I quickly turned my head. Sean Song was still standing there, and the light and shadow were a little lonely.

I remember many years ago, when I first went to an appointment, I looked at Sean Song from a distance and stood alone under the buttonwood tree.

I said loudly from a distance, "Hello, Mr. Song."

At this time, Sean Song smiled beautifully, and her bright white teeth covered the bright moon in the sky.

The last one is also wonderful. If you miss it, you can click: I will forget your name after all.

Editor: Miss Red Ear Rabbit

Photo: "Jin Zhiying, born in 1982"

About the author: Miss Red Ear Rabbit, an old girl who likes to write stories, an APP signing writer and a high-quality creator. Born in Hubei, studied in Nanjing, and stayed in Shanghai to make a living. Live with your heart, write with your heart and see the world with your heart.