Which gully can let me enter the aesthetic prose in northern Shaanxi

As soon as I stepped into this loess plateau, I was surrounded by many gullies, so that my eyes were confused and I couldn't figure out which gully would let me enter northern Shaanxi.

More than once, ask questions to the ground. My heart has been pounding, and the answer has never appeared. In front of me, it is still the psychedelic world of struggle and pain in northern Shaanxi. The land is yellowish brown, the image is dull and solidified, and walking is a luxurious life. I am always afraid of losing what I have, not to mention the water and soil that raised me. I have a vague concern. It is late spring, the gullies are old, the residual streams are dry, and the trees and grass on the roadside are unwilling to die. With the help of a late season, the pulse of life broke away from the dusty thick soil, and a little fragile new green emerged. Everything is unbearable. I even doubt my observation habits. Did you grow up in a land of abundance, with beautiful scenery and endless spring seasons, covering up too many pains? What you see before you is the truth of life. As Nietzsche said, the essence of life is pain. Yes, what I feel at the moment is pain, natural pain, the pain of the earth, and the pain of northern Shaanxi. This kind of pain, presented through the gully, is as deep, dignified and cruel as a knife and axe, no doubt. Besides ravines, there are ravines, like wounds, which are deep. Some have been scarred, some are still healing, and some have just taken shape. There is no need to look in Baidu. At this moment, outside our window, the new ditch and the old valley are intertwined, one after another, one after another, overlapping endlessly, intertwined and inextricably linked, covering the whole of northern Shaanxi. They are attached to the loess in a scarred manner and present on the plateau, dominating everything in the plateau; They didn't disappear because of the arrival of spring. I wonder if they should make us awe and alert. About life, we have too much neglect, too much misunderstanding, too much superficiality and whitewash.

Remember, I found these gullies when I was still on the plane.

With the breath of Chengdu Plain, the dream is green, not facing the sea, but still warm in bloom in spring. Floating at an altitude of 10,000 meters, forgetting to be in the northern Shaanxi Plateau. Through the porthole, there are sparse clouds under your feet, no longer green fields, but continuous gullies, replacing the pages of the earth. Scared and scarred. There was a moment of doubt, wondering if this earth was infected with a virus by xx attack like my computer. The tender and considerate introduction of the stewardess didn't let my green dream continue, but it brought me back to the cruel reality. Oh, we are in the northern Shaanxi Plateau. The sky has not changed, but the earth has changed. Rushed into the warehouse of memory, looking for that little storage. I can rummage through everything, but I still can't find a correspondence with reality. I can't tell whether the land under my feet is Yan 'an, Luochuan and Changwu, Hengshan and Shenmu, loess or desert, and I can't tell a series of words belonging to northern Shaanxi written by essayist Shi Xiaoxi, such as tableland, ditch, stream, bay, terrace, canal, beam and headland. I asked my colleague Xiao Liu. Xiao Liu is from northern Shaanxi. He was born on the yellow land and grew up in a cave. He has used these words for more than 20 years. Xiao Liu's explanation is clear and scientific, but it still doesn't solve the confusion in my heart. The theory is gray, and the concept is so far from reality. Xiao Liu said that although they are all plateaus, loess and gullies, their characteristics are different. Just like the same language family, there are different dialects; The same person has different personalities. From the geographical and geomorphological features, the ground to the north of Yan 'an is severely cut by wind and rain, and the continuous beam breaks, forming a gully and hilly region dominated by the headland, with Suide and Mizhi as the most typical areas; Yanchang, Yanchuan and other places are ravines and hills dominated by beams; The great river is the watershed in the west, one after another, endless, casting a large area of Liang Qiu; The south of Yan 'an is dominated by tableland, which constitutes a typical tableland-beam gully region. I still don't understand, about Mao, about Liang, about tableland. Not because of the legend of teacher's way and plateau, but because of my arrival.

Fortunately, we are marching in northern Shaanxi at the moment. Noble sky, endless ravines, towering promontories, beams and terraces are all in sight. Interpretation is very convenient, so you can feel their breath as soon as you get close. So, please stop and stay on a high cape. It's just my guess to say it's Mao. It's a lot of loess, not deliberately piled up, but related to division and chopping. The ravine hacked the mountain ridge. One knife in the east, one knife in the west, one knife in the south and one knife in the north, and some messy knife methods made it look like this. It is easy to remind people that the chef made instant noodles and cut them, leaving only a thick and ugly pile. The cape in front of us is abrupt between heaven and earth; A pile of loess, a high slope, casts a symbol of persistence. If there is a glimpse of the cave under the cape, it will be a blessing for all, and it can avoid the fate of being blown away by the wind, cut off by the knife and swept away by the water.

Of course, my stay at this moment is not to recall the past, not to tell whether the wind is stronger or the water is more cruel to carry and cut. I am looking for a blood relationship, so many concepts about life, history and reality, the Loess Plateau, who is the master of the earth and who is creating miracles. The land is dry, and from time to time some dust is picked up by passing cars, blown away by the wind and landed in different places. There are two trees at the top of the cape. The branches have no leaves, but there are clusters of flowers, white and fine, covered with branches. If it weren't for a few bees and butterflies, people would really doubt its authenticity. I don't know its name, but I have a sincere respect for this little flower on the cape. My interpretation of the Loess Plateau stands at the top of the cape, between trees, and under flowers. Eliminate distractions and let the soul breathe. I don't need to read a dictionary, and I don't need Xiao Liu's life experience. I want to understand the plateau in my way. I finally found that the loess is the skin of the plateau, the plateau is the ancestral home, the beam is the bones and muscles of the plateau, the cape and the platform are the journey of the plateau, the rivers and streams are the blood of the plateau, and the gullies are the wrinkles of the plateau. More importantly, the cape is isolated from the terrace, the Liangwan is messy, the rivers and streams are scarce, the sky is high and the clouds are light, and the flowers and trees are short-lived. Only the gully is on the plateau and has never been absent. I have to say that ravines are the real soul of the plateau.

In this way, a belief was born in my heart: starting from the gully. I believe that every gully can lead to the life world on the plateau.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon when we arrived in Yan 'an, and everyone was in a hurry to go to Baota shan without a rest. The Shengtong Hotel where we stayed is opposite to Baota shan. A few minutes later, the bus took us directly to the top of the mountain. Baota shan's name, a famous name, is not in the mountains, but in the pagoda. This is a typical Tang Dynasty building, which is not much different from the ordinary Tang Tower. The only difference is its symbolic significance in the modern revolutionary history of China. This symbolic significance and Taya Fan Zhongyan's inscription "There are tens of thousands of armored soldiers in the chest" complement each other and have to be awe-inspiring. But what really attracts me at the moment is not the tower, but the Yanhe River. Yanhe River flows from north to east under Baota shan. From the perspective of overlooking, it is gentle and quiet, walking around the tower, full of beautiful lyrics. But at the moment, I can't express myself, I can't be romantic, and the bridge is flowing. Hegel said that life and water flow are homologous. Rivers have bred almost all human civilizations, not to mention Yanhe. Facing the Yanhe River, which has gone through many vicissitudes and carried too much load, my heart is full of dignity and awe.

Of course, I pay attention to Yanhe. Not because of its grandeur. To say that it is magnificent, it is far less than the Minjiang River, Qingyi River and Dadu River in Sichuan. Not because of the belief in nature and paper cutting. Those folk customs in northern Shaanxi may not suit me. I'm not here for He Jingzhi's Back to Yan 'an. "Snow-white lamb tripe, towels and red belts, and relatives welcoming Yanhe" belong to the past. Our mission is to create the future.

Concerned about the Yanhe River, I came to the ravine, the ravine of the soul of northern Shaanxi.

Yes, I look at Yanhe River from the perspective of gully. No, I firmly believe that Yanhe was originally a ravine, a huge ravine, lying across the land of northern Shaanxi. But also the mother of gullies in northern Shaanxi. With its tolerance, absorption and care, countless gullies in the northern Shaanxi Plateau can be continued. I also believe that tracing back to the depths along the quietly flowing Yanhe River can be traced back to the source without too much trouble. Not natural, but spiritual. There is no need to trace the source of nature. The total length of Yanhe River is only about 300 kilometers, and there are longer Wuding River and Luohe River in front of it, and there is the Yellow River next to Wuding River. It starts from Yan 'an at the foot, goes north, passes through Sichuan Bay Township in Ansai, and enters Jingbian County, Yulin City, where Yanhe was born. What I saw was not a miracle, but still the common loess, caves and gullies in northern Shaanxi, as well as beams, terraces and cape. It is shorter downward, passes through Yanchang County, and flows into the Yellow River near Liangshui Temple in Nanhegou Township. Even in the Yellow River not far away, you can't tell which drop of water belongs to Yanhe River in such a huge and spectacular torrent.

Yanhe spirit is hard to trace.

There is no doubt that where there is water, there is a river. In other words, a river is a masterpiece of water, and water is its blood. This is doomed. Yanhe is a river born for death, and it has been accompanied by death since its birth. This is not an alarmist, nor is it a warning from environmentalists, but the fate decided by the mother's long-term growth: the average annual precipitation in Yanhe River Basin is 495-6mm, and the temperature is 9℃; 90% of the loess hills and rocky hills, as well as the valley of the Flame Mountain; The narrowest part of the river bed is less than 10 meter, and the widest part is only a few hundred meters; Frequent droughts, frosts, hail and heavy rains. For a short and weak river, it is a miracle to survive. I think, apart from the persistence and tenacity of Yanhe itself, it may also be because of those dense tributaries, such as Xing Zi River, Pingqiaochuan River, Xichuan River, Nanchuan River and Panlongchuan River. These things called rivers or rivers are actually gullies, smaller than Yanhe and larger than many short gullies. It is precisely because they are constantly delivering blood to the Yanhe River, which has been walking on this dry and desolate loess for thousands of years, that it has not disappeared into the dust of the years.

We walk much faster, smoother and more comfortable. There are no ups and downs and dangers. With the help of modern transportation, expressway crossed mountains and canyons, creating a smooth road for us. However, this did not dispel my desire to approach the ravine. Time passes, but the car can stop. I once approached the apricot river and found a family at its intersection with those smaller gullies. The driver immediately became more correct, not a household, but a village. There are twenty or thirty families nearby, including caves and houses, all of which are in villages in northern Shaanxi. Oh, good, good, this is exactly what I want to go to northern Shaanxi. I am secretly happy. The cave is located on one side of the platform, and the mouth of the cave faces the apricot River. Around the plateau, there are gullies as big as grooves and as small as axe marks. Gullies, large and small, are almost all narrow at the top and wide at the bottom, with the top facing the sky and the bottom facing the ground. At one end of the ground, they are connected with the Xing Zi River in an open and smooth way. According to simple geographical knowledge, I know that these gullies were actually cut by heavy rain. Either the drought is continuous and the loess is cracked; Either the rainstorm will cause disasters, and the sand will be moved and the soil will be pushed. Therefore, these fragile gullies are not without water, they are the earliest messengers of rain; Moreover, they dedicated their hopes for life and the harvest of a year's watch to this river. From Xiao Jian to Xiaohe, then to Yanhe and Yellow River. Continuous gully relay, life is not lost.

Walk into a house. Is a family, in fact, just a lonely old man, guarding a humble cave. The old man's dark and thin face is covered with wrinkles of different shades, which looks like a ravine. I believe that this is a concentrated northern Shaanxi Plateau. The cave is dark and cool, and there is an old paper-cut with a missing corner on the wall. Judging from the composition, it seems to be a Fuwa. There is a kerosene lamp on the kang, the stove is made of earth, and there are some leftovers in the pot and bowl. The old man's wife died in a mudslide. After the rainstorm, a sudden debris flow poured down the ravine, almost sweeping away everything under the ravine. Gully left the old man with permanent pain, but it did not shake his attachment and persistence here. This cave was built later. Children go to school and work, leaving ravines, apricot rivers and caves. The old man is the only one, still stubbornly insisting, silly, silly. These are what the old man told us. In fact, the old man is very dull and doesn't like to talk. Almost every time we ask, he answers, or answers a few questions. I asked the old man why he didn't go to town with his children. He replied, I am used to it, but it is better here. In fact, the deeper secret of the elderly is still in the ravine. He was afraid that if he left, the water in the ravine would surge and the water in the apricot river would dry up. This is the information I captured from the eyes of the old man. During the conversation, the old man stressed that his father and his father's father told him so when they left this world. I once said that home is a "relaxing" place, so I think it makes sense for the elderly to stick to it.

I finally understand the ravine and the Yanhe River. A river that has been renamed several times, why should it finally be named after Yanhe? Both the "regional water" in the Warring States period and the "Qingshui River" after the Southern and Northern Dynasties are related to water. It is said that at that time, the river was wide and crystal clear, and trees on both sides of the river covered the sky and covered the road with bamboo. Later, continuous wars, coupled with deforestation, led to ecological imbalance, and the clear river became turbid and dry. People are afraid that their mother river will be lost, so they pray for it to exist forever in the name of Yanhe.

Or because of water, the water of life, we chose to be near and seek far.

Nanniwan is the only way from Yan 'an to Hukou of the Yellow River. I didn't know it at first, but I was a little overjoyed when the driver blurted out the news. I've always wanted to go to Nanniwan, and I don't need a reason. Those red songs of childhood have branded too much hope and mystery in my soul. However, the original plan of this trip was not here, but I just dropped in on Baota shan, Yang Jialing, Zaoyuan and Yanhe. The hukou of the Yellow River is in the other direction, not on the way. It's hard to say, the line is arranged by the leader. I want to bury my regret in my heart for later. Unexpectedly, the change happened by accident. The bus has started, and the enthusiastic driver said that there are actually two roads back to Xi 'an, one is through Ganquan and Huangling, and the other is through Hukou. The meeting point is in Huangling, and there are not many detours. After that, he added, if you haven't been to Hukou, you can drop by. It's spectacular, and you can also cross Nanniwan. Oh, in that case, teachers who often run don't bother, so why not?

I went on a pilgrimage to Nanniwan. Only when I arrived did I find that the so-called Nanniwan is an ordinary bay, which can be seen everywhere in northern Shaanxi. Not just in northern Shaanxi. Maybe as long as there are hills, there are bays. There are many bays in western Sichuan, my hometown, such as Li Jiawan, Yuwan and Shawan. When I was a child, I often called them by their names. I wrote in my composition that if you cross a bay, there will be another bay. However, I have never paid serious attention to, thought about, or really understood the origin, significance, and history of the Gulf. When I arrived at Nanniwan, I felt a kind of loss and a shocking loss in the face of a sacredness. I first associate the bay with the canyon. Yes, ravines. There are ravines everywhere in northern Shaanxi. Even in my mind, I arbitrarily concluded that the bay is a kind of gully, which is wider and longer than the edge of the plateau beam. Of course, taking Nanniwan as an example, it is moving from sacred to ordinary. The usual concept refers to a region. According to the data, Nanniwan area is a hilly and gully area, and the soil is loessial soil, where the Fenchuan River originates, with a drainage area of 365 square kilometers. This is exactly the same as the number of days in a year. I don't know if it is coincidence or contains some kind of metaphor of providence. Of course, there are also differences, that is, because of years of reclamation and cultivation, the land here is no longer yellow, but yellowish brown; The ravines at the bottom of the bay are no longer naturally messy, but are full of scars washed by heavy rains and flash floods. No, to be precise, it is a scar that has been stitched, a smooth stitching created by that unforgettable mass production movement, and the poetry of the south of the Bay.

Naturally, I think of wounds and scars, gullies and seams. Going back in time is not far away.

Excerpted from New Leaves (bimonthly) No.2011,No.5.

Deng Haiyan, former editor-in-chief of the magazine