Kaiyuan hotel pedicure

Perform a sketch of three people, three men. Funny, not too long, there is no big prop to hit the cup as the number, Zhang's sketch

Don't be funny, don't be too long. A sketch or crosstalk performed by three little girls. I remember once, on my way home, I experienced countless temptations! A group of hairdressers waved to me, but I turned a blind eye; A group of pedicure girls threw eyebrows at me, and I was indifferent; A beggar disciple asked me for help, and I looked at him coldly! I sighed deeply at this colorful world: "I wish I had money in my TM pocket!" " "Don't be too long, short and funny. On a Spring Festival Evening in the 1990s, Ma Ji and several apprentices performed the comic dialogue "Five Senses of Merit", which was a classic. It happened that five people played it. Most young people have not seen it now. You can watch the video first. Very funny and ironic, and the artistic conception expressed is also very clear. Don't think it is an old work. It's definitely good to adapt it a little, because the current work is also based on your previous performance. It will definitely make everyone shine.

Five-person campus sketch: the performance of five men in our freshman dormitory should be as funny as possible, not too long. Poor and happy: I am really happy when others are happy, and I am really poor and happy when I am happy. Whether you like it or not, Happy Teahouse is fun and must be happy, don't you think? .

Audience: Yes.

Second, live performance part

Poor and happy monologue with a fake hundred-dollar bill: You said that people are unlucky, the salt jar is full, drinking water fills their teeth, farting hurts people, twisting their feet when walking, and when did you mix a counterfeit money? ( 100).

Poor and happy patted his face with his palm and scolded him: a pair of goldfish and leopard eyes were white.

Poor and happy show a sly smile: the road is one foot high and the devil is ten feet high. There is a way.

Old happy, old happy standing on the service platform smiling to meet poor happy, poor happy sitting on the coffee table, stretching his legs.

Old Happy: Little Sister serves tea.

Poor and happy: the best Biluochun in the world, plus a plate of pistachios.

Xiao Xinkai carries tea: boss, happy teahouse, drinking Biluochun, chewing pistachios, happy, happy today, happy tomorrow, happy every month, happy every year, happy eating, happy drinking, happy sleeping, and everything will always be happy.

The poor happy hand touched the little happy hand: happy! Happy! It's happier to have a little sister (secret) to drink with you.

Small happy angry stay: indecent aunt, open your head.

Poor Happy stepped forward and poured tea for poor Happy: Boss, I will accompany you.

Poor and happy: you accompany me, bark face, hay head, grasshopper waist, violin belly, iron pickpocket, and happy teahouse, disgusting.

When you are old and happy, touch your face, look at your hands and pat your stomach: just enjoy it if you don't mind.

Poor happiness: check out. (Take out the fake 100) and give me a refund of 80 yuan.

Happy old bow took 100 yuan and turned to prepare change. Poor happy and proud face.

Lao Happy: Sorry, this money is fake.

Poor and happy: I said that you are lying with your eyes open, talking in your sleep in broad daylight, and talking without teeth. Obviously, you gave a real ice (100), you switched the bag, cut the stolen goods and framed them.

Old happy: I didn't take the money, my feet didn't move, I didn't turn around, I didn't go into the drawer. I'm not a juggler, let alone a the Monkey King who can change seventy-two.

Poor and happy: I don't care I gave you real money. You have to change to 80 yuan. (Be happy when you are poor, but be happy when you are old) Look for it, look for it.

Always happy: keep the change.

Relax: What's so noisy?

Old Happy: You can't expect me to give you eighty dollars. I don't charge, you eat and drink for free.

Poor and happy: hey! You look down on me, you look down on me, I am a big boss, and I am a respectable person. How do you say you can't find 80 yuan for free food and drink?

Xiao Xinkai: You ate Xiong Xin leopard gall, and you dare to mix counterfeit money here. Call the police again.

Poor and happy: good alarm, good alarm, good alarm. I said you are happy in the teahouse, in prostitution and in marketing counterfeit money to make money.

Old Xin Kai: Forget it, little sister. It's too troublesome to call the police for frozen tickets (100). At least you have to smoke and drink tea with the guests. Please sit down and eat. Forget it. Give him a refund of 80 yuan to avoid disaster and not delay business.

Poor and happy: this is the best policy. (Leave proudly with 80 yuan. )

Xiao Xinkai: We can't be fooled for nothing. (Small is fake 100. Carry a bag and dress up as a "taxi" on the street. )

Poor Happy is driving a taxi, and Little Happy beckons him to get on it.

Poor and happy: Little Sister goes there.

Xiaoxiao: Drive ahead and go where I want to go.

Poor and happy: Little Sister (Mi) is really funny. How do I know where you are going? Hey, is this the place?

Xiao Xiaoxin dressed up in lipstick in front of the mirror. Xiao Xiaoxin looked back at Xiao Xiaoxin from time to time in front of the mirror: Little sister is really beautiful, and she is ashamed to fall into the wild goose. Is it the one in the teahouse bar room?

Xiao Xinkai: The dog's mouth lifts the curtains, the rooster pecks at the mouse, drives your car and makes your money. ,,,, Cough! Stop in front. (Xiao Xinkai puts his hands in two wallets, hesitating whether to take out real money or fake money. Xiao Xinkai blushed and was so nervous that he finally took out a real coin. Poor and happy, looking at nothing, changed money. Xiao Xinkai turned away with a guilty conscience. Waiting for the bus to leave, he took out the fake ice (100) and looked at it.

Xiao Xinkai: It's really useless. Just now, if I took out that counterfeit bill to pay, the driver didn't even look at it.

Xiaoxin adjusted the driver's change and was surprised to find that the driver had found a fake fifty, gnashing his teeth with anger.

Xiao returned to the teahouse.

Always happy: business doesn't go there.

Xiao Xinkai: Don't mention it. One fake one didn't mix out, and another one came in.

Lao Kuai: I said I couldn't stay full, but 100 yuan. Admit bad luck.

Xiao Xinkai: Why are we doing this? People treat me well, and I treat them well. When others misjudge me, I am mistaken.

Xiao Xinkai left: Yes! I have an idea.

Old happiness shook her head: alas! Counterfeit money hurts people

There is a mahjong table on the stage. Two men and two women are playing mahjong. There was a "Hu" sound, shaking his head slightly, and Aunt Cui gave the opposite aunt a holiday 100, and the aunt shuffled the cards without giving change. Xiao Xinkai smiled proudly.

At this time, there was movement, the door was about to open, and everyone put away the money on the table. Aunt couldn't wait to put the money under her waistband, and a small pimple broke out in front of her abdomen.

Two policemen stepped forward: freeze! Gather people to gamble.

Xiao Xinkai: Uncle policeman, without money, we are poor.

The policeman pointed to the aunt: Take out the money, and hurry up.

Another policeman took out a fine receipt. Little happy eyes looked at my aunt's abdomen from time to time, and my aunt blushed.

Policeman: Everyone will be fined 500 pounds.

Aunt: I have no money, really.

Policeman: No money, really. (The policeman points to his girlfriend's stomach) What's that?

Aunt: That's the belly.

Policeman: I know it's the stomach. What's stuffed outside?

Aunt: No, I'm pregnant.

Xiao Xinkai: Uncle policeman, she is pregnant. I accompanied her to the hospital for a B-ultrasound this afternoon.

Policeman: She is pregnant. A rooster can lay eggs. She is a man and a woman.

Aunt: I haven't reached menopause, you! you

Xiao Xinkai: It is illegal to do sex identification. You lured us into breaking the law.

The policeman roared: I saw it. It's dishonest to stuff money into your stomach.

Girlfriend slowly searches for money from the lower abdomen.

The policeman licked his saliva and counted the money.

Xiao Xinkai grimaced in a hurry: What's the taste of money picked up by a woman's private parts licking in her mouth? Is it sour, sweet, fragrant or stale?

The policeman put away the money and spat on the ground. The police are gone.

Aunt is very depressed: unlucky, I just won some money today and became Yang Bailao again.

Xiao Xinkai: The police are still angry today. I gave you counterfeit money.

Aunt: What, you are so bad, where did you come from?

Xiao Xinkai: I know the man who choked to death by drinking water, ate through his stomach, somersaulted, overturned his car, drowned in a boat and crashed his plane.

Aunt: You are cursing yourself, so you gave it to me.

Xiao Xinkai: Then you were scolded, too. You didn't hang out with the police.

Both Xiao He and Aunt laughed: Ha! Ha! Ha! Counterfeit money harms people, and one should be deemed invalid.

Happy old man: You are right. Let's leave this task to the police.

Xiao Xinkai: So we didn't tip off the police today.

Always happy: You should be happy. Everything has a bright side, because you have done a good thing.

Policeman: You just happened to find two counterfeit coins in the fine. Recently, counterfeit money has been circulating in our city. Please go back to the police station to assist in the investigation.

Everyone looked at Xiao and Aunt happily.

Aunt Xiaohe said to Lao: We are innocent victims.

Lao Xing: Hi! Counterfeit money kills people.

Always be happy to face all the audience: good evening, boss, master, big brother, big sister, little sister and little brother.

The audience applauded: OK!

Old Xin Kai will hold a publicity activity here today to voluntarily identify genuine and fake currencies. There are prizes in the activity, and everyone is welcome to participate.

Relax.

Old happiness was dumbfounded: why did you come back?

Xiao Xinkai: What's wrong with me? I am a victim, and the victim should be protected by the people's police.

Old happiness: you have no conscience.

Xiao Xinkai: I want to make up for my work by promoting anti-counterfeiting activities.

Xiao Xinkai: Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and sisters sitting here, have you ever been cheated by counterfeit money? Please join our anti-counterfeiting activities. Let's do a quiz to identify genuine and counterfeit money. 100 face identification mark. If you answer correctly, you will be awarded 10 yuan, the second prize 20 yuan, and all the bonuses 100. I hope this activity can improve our ability to identify counterfeit money, make counterfeit money yell like a street mouse, and make real money earn more into our pockets.

Xiao Xinkai asked several male and female guests at different levels on the spot: How can you tell the truth from those parts?

The audience raised their hands to answer questions:

Always happy to present awards on the spot.

Finally, I am happy: the audience who won the prize today made money, and the audience who didn't win the prize learned knowledge. Are you happy?

Audience: Happy.

Xiao: Happy Teahouse, which happily welcomes happy guests from all over the world.

Poor and happy, the audience shouted, get him, get him. Small happiness, old happiness, poor happiness.

Are there any sketches suitable for three girls and nine boys? This is very interesting. Don't have too many lines and props. Snow White and seven dwarfs, a princess, a queen, seven dwarfs, a prince, and the parents of the dwarfs. Well, that's interesting.

A sketch of 3-4 people, funny, but not too long and unlucky.

Bai: On a certain day, a certain month, a certain year, two people met in an alley and each drove a large truck with a load of 10 tons.

A (shouting to driver B) The ancients said, "What for a while, calm down, retreat 10 meters and let others go."

B thought: I will make the impossible possible!

B: You're right. Please make way.

A thought: whether you are playing dumb or really stupid, whether you are playing dumb or really stupid, I will never let you go!

You'd better let me.

You let me.

You let

You let me.

You let

……

Bai: The two drivers won't budge. They hit him back and forth 300 times with his seven-inch gold teeth.

No matter what the result is.

A: (listless) I take a detour.

B: (Energetic) I won.

the next day

Bai: What bitter rivals! The two men met again in this alley.

A: Last time I took a detour, it's your turn to take a detour.

B thought: no way, let me make a detour. It's quite beautiful.

B: the law of the jungle, ok? See who can afford it.

A: I'm going to watch compressed biscuits.

I am ready, too.

After 4800 hours.

I don't have any compressed biscuits. I'll make a detour, but you must tell me where your pizza comes from.

B: This is from Pizza Hut.

A: It's true that "the Tao is one foot high and the magic is ten feet high".

the next day

A: This time I brought: TV, computer, refrigerator, washing machine, wardrobe, single bed, 1000 Jin of rice, rice cooker, solar cooker, solar cell, PSP3, NDSi…… ... ...

But I brought a bulldozer.

Ding Ling Mao Bo, Ding Ling Mao Bo, Ding Ling Mao Bo Choke

the next day

Bai: What bitter rivals! The two men met again in this alley. I'm tired of talking about this.

B: What did you bring this time?

A: (Terrorist) Black Boy Group.

Sorry, I brought the swat team. Ha ha ha ha!

the end

Junior high school performance needs a sketch of seven people, simple and funny, not too long. Dad, I feel that I am too biased. I got 50 points in Chinese. Then Chinese needs more efforts. What about math? Five points.

There is a class meeting in our class. There are three people who want to play skits. The plot should be funny, not too long. It's three people. happy childhood

Five simple and funny sketches, shorter, not too long, New Year's Day performance, thank you, fool, go to school.

A: Start the class, start the class.

Well, class, class, class quickly.

Hello, monitor.

B: Hello, er, I heard that there is a new head teacher in our class, who is still a woman.

A: Whether it's a man or a woman, send her away when she comes.

B: Hmm.

Hey, hello, you two.

Ab: Good morning!

C: You're early. Er, have you heard that there is a new head teacher in our class?

Ab: I know, I know, I already know.

C: Er, it's a woman.

Ab: I know, I know.

Well, why don't we teach her a lesson later? Give her a nickname.

Well, that's good. That's a good idea. What's that nickname?

C: Eh, it's called morning glory.

A: Morning glory is too vulgar, too vulgar, too vulgar.

How's this? Let's call her old hen.

Ah, old hen.

B: Hmm.

A: Bird flu is very serious now. Also, dare to call an old hen.

C: Exactly.

B: That's called, er, why not just call her an old maid.

AC: OK, OK, OK.

A: This is good, this is good, this is good.

B: That's a good idea. Will you cheer later? (pointing to c)

C: I won't.

B: Then you call (pointing to A).

I don't know, either.

B: Then you won't scream, and neither will she. Who screams?

Captain: Well, yes, the fool will come later. Let him scream.

Uh, good idea, good idea.

A: That's a good idea.

B: Fool, class, class, class.

D: here we are. (dancing lap dance) ~ ~ What are you laughing at? Never seen a handsome guy.

Yeah, yeah, silly.

D: mm-hmm

There is a new head teacher in our class. We nicknamed her an old maid. She will come later. You can scream.

D: I won't.

A: Why?

You always lie to me. Every time I open my mouth, you shut up.

No, I won't lie to you this time.

BC: Right.

A: Let's scream together.

BC: Mm-hmm.

D: Don't lie to me this time?

Well, yes, I won't lie to you this time Call together.

D: ok, let's call it together.

Hello, I'm the new head teacher. It is said that the students in this class are particularly difficult to teach, but I am very caring and I will influence them with my love. Hello, classmates!

ABCD: Old.

D: virgins are good.

Who said the teacher was an old maid? Please step forward. (ABC steps back together) Boys and girls, please stand up.

D: mm-hmm

E: Little classmate, you stand firm.

D: teacher: you are uneven.

E: Little classmate, you know what an old maid is.

D: My dad said that people who haven't been treated are called spinsters.

I am confident and patient. Students, please go to the office with the teacher.

D: why?

E: The teacher invites you to eat chocolate.

Really?

E: Really, come on.

Yes, let's eat chocolate.

B: Eh, it's called an old maid, and you still eat chocolate?

C: That's right. I know where we were called, too.

A: Exactly.

E: I'll treat you to chocolate, dove and Di Chin. Eat and eat. You are full. (Come out) I never punish students. Son, you can come out now.

D: Here we are (dancing).

Hey, what's wrong with you? Fool.

Fool, are you all right?

D: the teacher hits people.

ABC: Let's see, let's see.

Well, you are badly hurt, aren't you?

B: Nice fight, right?

E: Next, the teacher will give you a 1 lesson. Come on, class, please stand up.

Why me again?

E: I'll contact you online. Please raise your hand if any students can answer. Please listen carefully. The first part is: Nantong North Tongzhou, and North Tongzhou can be north and south. Who can answer this question? Okay, you're the only female classmate?

Answer: East Pawnshop, West Pawnshop and East Pawnshop are things.

E: Well, that's a good answer. Who else can raise their hands and answer? Little classmate, raise your hand and you can answer. Come on, please stand up and answer.

D: answer what?

E: answer couplets.

D: What couplets?

E: The upper part is Nantong North Tongzhou, and the north and south Tongzhou can be north and south.

D: Boys and girls, boys and girls have boys and girls.

E: rhymes. That's a good answer Please, can the teacher ask you one more question? Fragrant flowers are not red, red flowers are not fragrant, and they are rosy and fragrant.

D: Farts don't stink, farts don't ring, and serial farts stink.

E: Monitor, don't fart.

D: Good man, thank you.

E: Gee, I can't believe this is not difficult for you. Can the teacher ask you one more question? Eat small fish, big fish, scare rice, scare rice to eat, get to the bottom of it.

D: hehe! Your husband presses you, you press the bed, the bed presses the ground, and the ground shakes. (E versus D) I've got it all settled, and you still hit me?

E: what kind of students? E: Monitor, look, the celebration is coming. What programs have our class prepared?

B: What we prepare for the teacher is recitation.

E: Let's recite one first.

Ok, first of all, we recited Xiao Chun for the teacher. In the spring morning, I woke up easily.

Birds are singing everywhere around me.

But now I remember that night, that storm.

D: A girl became a sister-in-law.

E: (D) You have changed. Will you change?

Who taught you that?

D: the monitor taught me.

Why do you keep hitting me?

E: I made a mistake as soon as I arrived at your place?

ABC: Teacher, please stop. The headmaster is coming.

E: here comes the headmaster.

ABC: Run, fool. (End)

Ask for funny sketch lines. Time is not too long. The style is that the master algebra is small.