The Marriage Customs of Liuheng Island in Ningbo

China's ancient marriage etiquette was governed by "Six Rites". "Six gifts" refer to: receiving gifts, asking names, receiving gifts, inviting guests and welcoming relatives. People in Ningbo have to go through the procedures of matchmaking, blind date, engagement, bride price payment, date posting and wedding. Let's talk about the media first. As the saying goes, "There is no cloud in the sky, it doesn't rain underground, and there is no media on the ground." Matchmaker's words are unwritten rules in China's traditional marriage. In the old society, men and women were "giving and receiving without kissing", so both men and women generally had to discuss it well before they could "tie the knot", "harmonious Qin Jin", "tie the knot" and "know each other". The role of matchmaker. The matchmaker plays an important role in the old-fashioned wedding. After both men and women have basically reached an agreement on marriage, he should guide the man on a blind date, send a modified Geng sticker on behalf of both parties, guide the man to get engaged, choose an auspicious day for marriage, guide the man to take over the marriage, and assist the wedding ceremony until the couple enters the house, and then throw the "matchmaker" over the wall. The matchmaker has conditions. First of all, no relative of the woman can be a matchmaker, because it is a tradition in China that the active party pursuing marriage must be the man, so it is suspected of being "elegant" for the woman to entrust the matchmaker on her own initiative (in Ningbo dialect: forced or guilty); Secondly, the matchmaker's personal quality is good, that is, integrity and loyalty. There is a saying that "it is better to check the relatives than to choose the media". A good matchmaker influences marriage through his personality. Third, the matchmaker should be eloquent. Matchmaking is a skill. The matchmaker should reflect each other's situation to both men and women and their parents as accurately as possible, and at the same time try to hide evil and promote good, so that both sides can fully understand each other's strengths and are willing to reach a marriage agreement. Fourth, to be a matchmaker, you should not only be "clever in mouth" but also "diligent in legs". Matchmakers should be diligent in running errands, and from the day they start to match men and women, they should often go back and forth between men and women to exchange information, convey each other's wishes and demands, and prevent accidents. There are two conditions for matchmaking: first, the man knows the basic situation of the woman and lets the matchmaker take the goal to matchmaking, which is called "current matchmaking"; Second, the man has no goal, and the matchmaker "matches" to find the woman according to the man's conditions. Second, the blind date matchmaker finds the right person. After the man basically recognizes it, he will make a blind date. Blind date is usually in the morning, and women are often in the tradition of "born in boudoir, beauty is unknown". They have no right to blind date in person. They are usually replaced by their menstruation menstruation. Accompanied by the matchmaker, they go to the man's house, mainly to see the basic situation of the man's individual and family, such as family house, industry, economic situation and so on. If the woman is basically satisfied, have lunch. If not, she will find a reason to leave. After dinner, we will enter the third procedure: engagement. 3. Engagement Engagement is a marriage agreement. The specific engagement date is proposed by the man. On the morning of the same day, the man should prepare some gifts according to his parents' hobbies, dress up carefully to give the other party a good "first impression" and be accompanied by the matchmaker to the woman's house. The woman invited her uncles, aunts and other elders to have lunch together. After dinner, according to the distance, the woman arrived at the man's house in the evening accompanied by her sister, matchmaker and man. The man will also invite uncles, aunts and other elders to have dinner together. After dinner, the woman should pour tea for the elders who eat, and the elders should give "teacups" and wrap them in red envelopes. According to the size of the generation and the degree of alienation of relatives, the amount is basically the same. After the engagement, both men and women call each other objects. If the man proposes to break the contract halfway, the woman does not need to return it; If the woman asks, she will return it in full. Fourth, the old bride price mainly includes three contents: one is "abdominal pain", which is the daughter's birth cost; The second is the soup under the sedan chair (Ningbo women's wedding wine is called sedan chair wine, and men's wedding wine is called He Lang wine); Third, dowry costs, mainly household chores in the room, such as boxes, plates, clothes, quilts and so on. However, whether rich or poor, there must be four items in the dowry: 1, a toilet filled with red dates, peanuts, longan, oranges or sesame seeds, also known as a "child bucket", to indicate that a married woman "has children early"; 2, a pair of in-laws shoes, take the filial piety that dares to pad the feet for the in-laws; 3. The meaning of lamp and lighting; 4, utensils (copper utensils heated by firewood), warm and dry.