Come and test how hot your marriage is.

Lead: Marriage is a very important thing in life and needs to be cherished. However, sometimes when the marriage is "sick", you need to measure the temperature of the marriage in time. I don't know how to measure. Then take a look at this "measurement article"! Look at the temperature of your marriage, and then adjust your relationship in time.

The following is a simple and effective "marriage thermometer" designed by Dr. Stanley in the United States. Please feel the pulse of your marriage or intimate relationship.

1. A small dispute suddenly turned into a big fight, and the two men swore at each other and dug up old scores.

2. My lover will ignore my opinions, feelings and needs.

My words or actions are often regarded as malicious by my partner.

We always seem to take a hostile attitude when there are problems to be solved.

I can't naturally tell my partner what I really think and feel

I often fantasize about what it would be like if I could change my lover.

7. I feel lonely in my marriage.

8. When quarreling, one party always refuses to talk again and starts to escape or leave the scene.

grade scale

Each question "never happens" or "rarely happens" is 1 minute; "Occasional occurrence" is 2 points; "Frequent occurrence" is 3 points.

When the scores of each question are added together, if the total score is 8- 12, your marriage temperature is constant and healthy; If the total score is 13- 17, your marriage needs to be vigilant; If the total score exceeds 18, your marriage needs to be adjusted immediately.

Marriage above 37 degrees Celsius-temperature characteristics: Whether expressing feelings or facing each other, they always like to keep the temperature burning like a flame.

My marriage is on the verge of collapse. Photographer: Min Dong/male, 3 1 year old.

In the circle of friends, I am a famous "flower protector". Of course, this flower is my wife A Ning. I want to be her partner, go shopping with her and follow her to the beauty salon to get her hair done. It is no exaggeration to say that I helped A Ning choose the shoes she bought. When she put her new shoes on her feet, I had to bend down and pinch them myself to see if they pinched her feet. Even the waiter on the side envied her eyes. Go directly to the supermarket or food market after work every day. All I can think about is what to cook for A Ning tonight. How many men my age go to the vegetable market after work? In everyone's eyes, I am the perfect representative of a good husband, but in A Ning, I am a disgusting "follower", without the tough demeanor of a man, and I am a mother-in-law type person.

A woman's heart is as elusive as a needle on the seabed and a cloud in the sky. How did I treat A Ning before marriage? After marriage, I am still the same, but A Ning is tired of me, especially because I am too attached to her. For example, A Ning is going out to have a party with friends in the evening. I am very kind and want to go with her. First, I'm worried that it's not safe for her to walk at night. Secondly, because A Ning is a heartless person, she belongs to the kind of advocate who has to say thank you for selling her, so I pay more attention to her circle of friends. But A Ning insisted that I was watching her. Besides, A Ning is "road-blind". She has no sense of direction except knowing what is left and right. Once, she went to a hotel in the suburbs for a meeting. It is estimated that she will end the meeting. I took the time to drive to pick her up, but she scolded me. "Why don't you just turn me into a pin and put it in your pocket, and you won't be at ease." Look, how deep this misunderstanding is! I am obviously out of love, but she regards this as a restriction on her freedom, saying that I have "drained" her private space.

A Ning and I often quarrel because of my high fever. Some wives think their husbands don't care about themselves, while A Ning thinks I care too much. Her classic action is: twist her brows into Sichuan characters, roll her eyes and say disdainfully to me, "Can you learn to be mentally independent and stay away from me?" You are my husband, not my best friend's assistant. "I don't understand. When I was in love, A Ning wanted me to support her all the time. How did I become an extra follower when I got married?

Marriage label: nothing can be crossed, especially love. If you care too much about your partner's high temperature, you will gradually regard him as your "private property". The parties may have no personal feelings, but for the other party, this high temperature is unbearable. Just as the soil can't live without the sun's shining, the continuous intense and dazzling shining will make the land dry, which will lead to a terrible drought.

His rampant high temperature burned my self-esteem. Photographer: An Zhe/female, 28 years old.

Now my confusion and troubles are quite a bit like paying for my original vanity. When I was in love, Meng Jie's handsomeness, romance and understanding of women attracted me deeply. If these appearances are aimed at me alone, it's lucky, but Meng Jie is very popular with women. When I got married, I was very much in love with other women, ambiguous. No matter how big or small the other party's affairs are, Meng Jie will appear at the first scene on time and enthusiastically. Needless to say, he is a patient listener. No matter which "beauty" is depressed and sad, Meng Jie must be the best "placebo".

What I can't stand more is Meng Jie's neglect of me. His "beauty" was admitted to the hospital because of a fall. Meng Jie bought an expensive bunch of flowers and sent them to the hospital, but forgot that it was my birthday. Romantic mood is only suitable for playing romance before and after marriage, especially with other women. At this time, romance becomes strong ultraviolet rays, and no matter how expensive "sunscreen" is, it is hard to resist its harm to our marriage. To this end, Meng Jie and I often quarrel, and our temper belongs to that tit-for-tat, and no one listens to anyone. Although Meng Jie was polite and gentlemanly to women outside, she gnashed her teeth at me, sneered and cursed viciously, pushing the high temperature of confrontation between the two sides to the limit.

Meng Jie thinks he is right. Isn't he getting closer and closer to "beauty" and has a romantic little mood in his bones? I didn't do anything out of line. Hugging left and right, she became a sensible wife. Today, my family was almost destroyed by the raging "high temperature" in Meng Jie. I don't know how long I can last in this high temperature. Maybe one day my relationship with Meng Jie will really get sunburned.

Marriage label: too much romance and enthusiasm can easily fall into frivolous misunderstandings. Romance especially needs accuracy. Mutual respect is especially important in marriage. When one's excessive romance brings distress to the other half and even threatens the foundation of marriage, one should make the necessary choices.

The temperature characteristics of the following marriages are: no communication in case of trouble, despair of marriage, and marriage is always in a freezing cold.

Escape from the family model of "mutual respect as ice": Dai Ya/female, 32 years old.

I had a heart-wrenching love when I was 20 years old. At that time, my ex-boyfriend and I were engaged, and we lived together, just waiting to get married when we were older. But my ex-boyfriend and my parents had a business conflict over money. I was caught in the middle. On the one hand, my biological parents, on the other hand, my beloved people. I don't want to offend anyone, but I have to make a choice. Finally, I like my family better. My ex-boyfriend doesn't understand my difficulties. He insisted on his own judgment and said that I was protecting my family and didn't do justice for him at the critical moment. My ex-boyfriend asked for a divorce, and I couldn't bear it. Father got angry and had a big fight with his ex-boyfriend. There was a fierce quarrel between the two families. My ex-boyfriend and I finally broke up.

After this relationship, I lost my strength and reputation and became a "leftover woman" who didn't know right or wrong, guarding her mistakes. Li Rui is from other places and his family is average. When I first dated him, the introducer told him the truth about my past. Li Rui also said that my past has nothing to do with him. But I still love my ex-boyfriend in my heart, not to mention that Li Rui can't compare with my ex-boyfriend because he needs ability, but he doesn't have looks. Even the most basic height is not as good as his ex-boyfriend. In a word, he is a plain man, but he is my best husband, because he is willing to be my parents' "son-in-law". After I got married and really lived with Li Rui, I suddenly realized that it was not that I didn't love someone, but that I was determined to live with each other, which was more painful than cutting meat with a blunt knife. I also heard my ex-boyfriend taunt Li Rui in front of everyone. The implication is that a big man is a "son-in-law", which shows how worthless he is and how overbearing and unreasonable my family is.

Li Rui is not a fool either. After hearing these rumors, he also felt the gap between us. His solution to the contradiction is simple: 3354 escape. At first, he worked overtime endlessly in the unit, often staying up all night. Later, the unit set up an office in other provinces, and Li Rui took the initiative to apply for permanent residence abroad. From then on, I began the life of "Cowherd and Weaver Girl" in a different place. Li Rui sometimes doesn't go home for a month or two. Even when I come back, I look cold. He bears a grudge against me, and I am dissatisfied with him. Obviously, the word "respect as ice" is most suitable for our marriage.

Marriage label: the love between husband and wife is the most taboo to compare the past and the present. It is harmful to oneself and others to maintain marriage with seemingly polite "mutual respect as ice". The feelings of the past, no matter how unforgettable, should be regarded as gone. Smart people will choose to forget yesterday and move on. In contrast, only a fool would put his marriage in a bitter "ice room".

Different from his wife's "three views", people who are too lazy to communicate with others: Wendy/ male, 35 years old.

People who are together now like to ridicule the concept of harmony between husband and wife with "three views". It seems that this is the only way. It is too difficult for the couple to play the piano, sing and sue Mei Qi. Take my wife's loud voice with money. A woman should be gentle, but when she opens her mouth, she should first mention the tone of "lion roar". Besides, she talks to my parents the same way. Your biological parents can understand you, but there is a layer of affection between your in-laws. I have communicated with Qian Ru many times, hoping that she can change this problem. It's a pity that my voice did not fall, and the money was in a hurry. She talks like a machine gun, saying that she has been like this since childhood, telling me to listen whenever I like, and I don't like covering my ears. After a long time, I don't want to talk nonsense with her, let alone play jokes on each other like some couples.

If there is any problem with money again, I can't stand it. -love to buy luxury goods and useless nutrients. Her wardrobe is always full, and some clothes are hard to see the light of day, but she still takes great pains to move those clothes that she will never wear in her life. In addition, her bag is full of colorful capsules, such as detoxification capsules, vitamins and nutritional calcium tablets. There are so many varieties that she can open a drugstore. I sincerely advised her not to take these "junk drugs", but she always waved me impatiently to shut up. "What I earn and how I want to spend it have nothing to do with you." Qian Ru and I are AA now. Since I have no right to control you, I can't let you squander my money. Different ways of thinking and living habits make me lack communication with Qian Ru more and more. Even at home, we don't interfere with each other and act independently. We really became strangers under one roof. Home is like a quiet night, with cold silence in the cold.

Husband and wife don't communicate, and other things are silent. Even when eating, my head is stuffy and I don't even have the interest to look at each other. Now when I come home, if I see my wife is not here, I feel very relaxed and comfortable, at least I can breathe smoothly. In fact, I also know that there is a terrible iceberg hidden behind my marriage. Maybe one day, the iceberg will break and destroy my family, but I really have no desire to communicate with money.

Marriage label: when two people have different ideas, don't try to force the other person to achieve their satisfaction with their own thinking, which will make the other person form a rebellious mentality. After all, people are independent individuals with their own ideas and cognition. If you want to correct each other's shortcomings, you must first analyze them from an objective and rational perspective, and then you can change each other in your own healthy way. People who know how to maintain marriage are always like warm sunshine, gradually softening each other with their own suitable temperature, instead of using extreme methods of freezing point to control violence with violence.