What is first love?

First love is a person's first love, called first love.

The so-called animation first love, as the name implies, is the initial part of human love germination. Junior high school or senior high school is a person in his youth, the initial stage of love, and the initial understanding of love. Love may be a necessary process and a compulsory course in life! When you always look at him (her) from a casual angle and talk to him (her) intentionally or unintentionally, once he (she) leaves and wants to get him (her) back, this feeling is that you like him (her). When two people feel this way at the same time and come together, it should be called love! Walking together for the first time is called first love. First love is because of innocence, so many times both parties in love don't know how to control it, and they often get stuck and can't get out! Because that will delay the study, so when two people who love each other go to school together, the teacher will object! First love is also because of youth. Young people often do things they shouldn't do without considering the consequences. First love is because of innocence, because of youth, so two hearts without secular pollution are together, and the feeling is so pure and true. To miss the first love is to miss the budding heart and the initial experience of love. But love is the first time, so it's beautiful! Many people call the affection between boys and girls "puppy love", which is actually an embarrassing word because it is unscientific. The relationship between boys and girls should be called first love. First love is beyond reproach. First love is the first blooming flower in life, as beautiful as the newborn sunrise. A man of sound mind and body, to be fair, who hasn't had a good memory of his first love in his teens? First love is unforgettable, pure love, pure love. Some people will fight for their first love to the end, while others are forced to leave. In fact, it is a kind of emotion that can't be let go. Everyone will recall their first love.

From some parts of the world, due to the continuous improvement of people's living standards, the nutritional status of male and female students is generally better than that of the 1950s and 1960s, so the height and weight of primary and secondary school students increase rapidly, and the sexual maturity time is advanced. According to a survey conducted by the Tokyo Education Association, the menarche rate of girls in the sixth grade of primary school now accounts for 65%, while their mothers only account for 7% in the sixth grade. The age difference between the sixth-grade girls and their mothers is 25 years, which means that it has soared by 58% in 25 years. In China, the survey of Beijing 1963- 1964 shows that the average age of menarche of female students is 14.5 years old; Recently, the research group of ideological and political education in middle schools of Chengdu Education Bureau conducted a survey on some middle school students. The age of menarche of female students ranges from 1 1 to 14, with 12 and 13 being the most. The age of boys with secondary sexual characteristics ranges from 12 to 15 and 16, with 14 being the most. Generally one to one and a half years earlier than in the 1960s. Modern families pay more attention to intellectual investment, and the knowledge horizons of primary and secondary school students are generally expanding. A large number of publications, romance novels, movies, television and love songs that are not aimed at primary and secondary school students are open and widely popular among students. Books, periodicals, radio, movies and television are quite popular in the contemporary world. In these novels, plays, poems, songs, artworks, photos and pictures, the amount of sexual stimulation is greatly increasing, which promotes the development of boys' and girls' sexual consciousness. First love always develops with the development of physiology and psychology, and will never leave the stage of physical and psychological development, and there will be "puppy love". It should be said that first love comes on time with the pace of physical and psychological development.

Some people divide the occurrence and development of the first love between boys and girls into two stages. The first stage is the stage of love consciousness. At this stage, love for the opposite sex happens quietly, quietly, silently, or "unrequited love". At this stage, they like to observe the opposite sex students and are willing to contact them, but they always avoid them because they are shy. So I buried my love for the opposite sex in my heart and didn't show it easily. Even until graduation, I never showed my true feelings to each other. The second stage is the stage from love consciousness to first love behavior. This stage is characterized by the willingness or acquiescence of both sides to develop closer heterosexual relations. If the first stage has the taste of "unrequited love", then the second stage has the meaning of "soul mate". At this time, the relationship between boys and girls is no longer childhood friends. Among the students in senior grades and junior high schools, some people are not satisfied with the friendship of same-sex friends and begin to yearn for and pursue the friendship of opposite-sex friends. According to the statistics of America 1972, the first love of boys before 12 accounts for 17%, and the average age of 13 accounts for 18%. Girls' first love accounts for 7% before 12, 13, 12%, 15, 2 1%. According to the survey of our country, among 1400 middle school students, 1004 have made love friends, including 36 boys and 68 girls. In China, the seeds of love are basically at the age of 14 or 15, which happens to be the second and third grades of junior high school. A survey conducted in 1 1 school shows that the peak of first love in middle school is in the second, third and third grades. The peak period of grade three is fiercer and spreads faster than that of grade three. From another survey, we can see that the proportion of first love in the whole class is 4.43% in Grade One, 8. 19% in Grade Two, 12.99% in Grade Three, 27.26% in Grade One, 13.38% in Grade Two and 36.23 in Grade Three. This figure tells us that the number of students' first love increases with age. Therefore, no matter in "open" or "closed" countries, boys and girls who have not completed their studies, are not yet independent and have not developed well. And people are discussing how to solve the contradiction between the inevitable result of physical and psychological development and the "disapproval" of primary and secondary school students' love.

[Edit this paragraph] The characteristics of first love

1. The first love of boys and girls is the "initiation" of love, not sex itself. Often unilateral, psychological and emotional love, pure psychological love. This kind of psychological love is often full of fantasy, unreal and fragile. It's like an interesting game, leaving people with kind and sweet memories. Some people say that love is not only the physical pursuit of the opposite sex, but also the need of human spiritual closeness to a greater extent. The first love of boys and girls is almost entirely the pursuit of spiritual needs. As Goethe said, the first love of morally pure boys and girls "always tends to a lofty goal". The first love between boys and girls is the purest and most sincere feeling based on the natural attraction of the opposite sex, without any distractions. This kind of love is unconscious, but it is sincere and has rich feelings. It does not consider various social factors, and it is the most natural love between the two sexes. Middle school students (a small number of senior primary school students) love the opposite sex is rather hazy, out of curiosity about the opposite sex. This natural outpouring of love will never appear again after puberty. Therefore, people call the first love of boys and girls "one-off" love and love.

[Edit this paragraph] The social impact of first love

The key to solving contradictions lies in the correct education and guidance of families and schools, parents and teachers. First of all, parents and teachers are required to have a correct understanding of the first love of boys and girls. Seeking friends is a common psychological feature of boys and girls, and it is both "perceptual" and "rational" phenomenon caused by physical and psychological development. Therefore, just because boys and girls have a little contact or frequent contact, they can't be considered to have sexual relations, and they can't be ridiculed as promiscuity and indecent. Psychologists believe that first love is a sign of maturity. They say that students between the ages of 12 and 14 begin to enter adolescence, which is the maturity of students. The emergence of secondary sexual characteristics has promoted the psychological changes of students, and the desire to seek friendship and approach the opposite sex is budding and developing, which should be said to be gratifying. With this understanding, teachers and parents can give students correct guidance. Parents and teachers should understand the consciousness and behavior of first love among students, and don't speak in a contemptuous tone. Second, we should keep the "secret" of the mind for students. Students' first love is not afraid of teachers' knowledge, but parents' knowledge. For the sake of educational effect, it is not appropriate to "spread". Teachers should keep secrets for their students. If parents need to cooperate with education, they can only introduce the general situation and problems of primary and secondary school students to parents positively. Third, to prevent hurting students' self-esteem, never discuss a student's first love in class. Fourth, we should respect students' personality, and we should not exclude and discriminate against students who have the consciousness and behavior of first love, let alone adopt the policy of "isolation" to put pressure on students. The result of "isolation" will make students feel more "lonely" psychologically, so they need to seek more comfort and make the first love more closely combined. The unclear relationship may be clear and open, and they will resist the pressure exerted by teachers and parents in a very tenacious way. The result is to arouse students' rebellious psychology and strong opposition, which is not conducive to education.

[Edit this paragraph] The guidance of love

In order to better educate students, parents and teachers should know about graduate students. Once the students' first love consciousness is produced, it will always be reflected psychologically. Foreign sexual psychologists say that girls like to dress up at this time, boys suddenly love to be neat and pay attention to their appearance, and boys perform particularly well in front of girls; They are willing to be close to the opposite sex, a little shy, and they are not focused in class. People with lively and cheerful personality will suddenly become calm, and open-minded people will become eccentric; The two have frequent telephone and letter exchanges, and tend to be indifferent to groups, especially to same-sex friends. Teachers and parents should be good at analyzing and studying the dynamics of students' first love and finding out its regularity. For example, Russia found seventh-grade and eighth-grade students, and the United States and Japan found that the first lovers of students in the second and third grades were mostly good students. Boys are often top students who are tall and upright. Girls are often elegant, lively, beautiful students with excellent academic performance. Those boys and girls who are usually taciturn rarely sneak into the love pool. However, in high school, first lovers are often students with poor academic performance and lack of family warmth, because they need others' sympathy and understanding more, and are more likely to pursue the comfort and gentleness of the opposite sex. In short, only by studying students deeply can we understand them; Only by understanding students can we better educate them. The education of first love is not an education that restricts the contact between classmates, but encourages students to communicate more. Because the pursuit of communication and the yearning for first love are the inevitable psychological development of boys and girls. This must be out of curiosity. The curiosity and thirst for knowledge of boys and girls make them want to try something they have never touched before. According to the survey of Soviet psychologists, almost all primary and secondary school students' first love is due to the experience of trying to communicate with the opposite sex. According to the statistics of American educators, 90% of primary and secondary school students mentioned their desire to know the opposite sex in their first love. In China, among the 37 first love lovers aged from 14 to 18, 35 mentioned that they wanted to see what was going on. Second, out of necessity. According to the survey of psychologists in the former Soviet Union, most first lovers mentioned that they needed partners and lovers in life and study. According to American statistics, 75% of primary and secondary school students' first lovers mentioned that they were afraid of loneliness in life and needed sympathy, trust and understanding from friends of the opposite sex. In China, 28 of the 37 first lovers surveyed mentioned the need for loneliness and understanding. But because they have never been close to the opposite sex, once they are understood by the opposite sex, it is not just a matter of understanding, and it is easy to fall in love with their first love. Therefore, educators believe that an important way to carry out first love education is to expand students' communication. American educators say that extensive communication between boys and girls, like same-sex knowledge education, can dilute students' mystery about the opposite sex. A British teacher said that some parents and teachers try their best to avoid love and sex, which is actually inevitable. The result of avoidance will cast a mysterious veil over love and sex, which will become the driving force to induce students to explore mystery. On the contrary, letting boys and girls communicate frequently in study and games can dilute their opposite sex ideas. In the process of communication, people also advocate that collective communication is more appropriate. Because collectivization can not only promote mutual understanding between boys and girls, but also prevent premature "objectification". First love education, whether in the west or the east, whether in capitalist society or socialist society, all think that we should start with morality and education. Because the characteristics of love are not only physical attraction, but also the general development of intelligence, and to a great extent, it is also the development of human morality and psychology, as well as the development of emotion and aesthetics. Suhomlinski said: "Love is the essence of morality; Without a sound moral foundation, there will be no noble love. " The cultivation of noble love must begin with moral education. Students have spiritual beauty, and their attachment to another person will be based on morality. Only in this way can reason help emotions, purify emotions, add moral strength to emotions, and morally ennoble inner activities. Starting from moral education, we should educate students that love is a new field of moral life, and we should not treat love unilaterally, thinking that love is just joy and joy. Love contains serious moral responsibility. Therefore, teachers and parents should educate students, and primary and secondary school students cannot bear these obligations and responsibilities. Therefore, we should discipline ourselves with reason and discipline ourselves. If there is a bud of love in your heart, keep it in your heart until you need it. In short, starting with moral education is to "let moral maturity precede sexual maturity" and control emotions with morality.

[Edit this paragraph] First love and friends must read.

Friend attribute

1. Friends are independent of each other. The most important thing for friends is to respect each other and seek common ground while reserving differences. Both sides have independent personalities. If the two sides are close enough to make each other feel bound, it is difficult to maintain friendship. 2. Friends are not specific. Your friends also have the right to choose other friends, and they may not choose according to your preferences. 3. Friends have stages. In a certain period of time, the two may be very speculative. Over time, many changes will take place both subjectively and objectively, and friendship may be diluted or dissolved. This is normal. As long as he doesn't intentionally hurt you, there is no betrayal. Of course, it is very necessary to cherish every friendship and cultivate and maintain it with your heart. But some friends hit it off even if they haven't been in touch for a long time. There will always be a few people in your life who are worth socializing with. Although the affection between anyone needs irrigation, some friendships use time as fertilizer.

What is a friend?

What is a true friend? Different people have different ideas. I think: a friend is someone who points you in the direction on your way forward. A friend is someone who solves your difficulties, a friend is someone who is close to you, and a friend is someone who cares about you. A friend is the one who gets along with you day and night and won't talk about your trivial shortcomings everywhere. Because no one is perfect! Besides, your friend is not perfect! Friends are gold, friends are silver, friends are sunshine, and friends are the moon. Friends are stars. A friend is someone who lights a lamp for you when you are on the Black Coast. Friends won't leave you because you are in difficult times. Friends will not abandon you because you are at the bottom of your life. True friends are not selfish. When you need help, he will care for you regardless. He will always be the most loyal person to you. He will promise you everything you have said and done before, and will not forget you because you are temporarily unhappy. A true friend is moral. When you are in trouble, he won't give you any pressure or do anything that makes you breathless. A true friend will be rational and wise. At this time, he will not see your unhappiness, nor will he be a bystander. He will communicate with you in private, and he will never tell others directly what he thinks of you. In other words, he will save you face. A true friend can do anything for a friend, call the shots for a friend, feel sunny for a friend, and take care of you in every possible way. Everyone has his own way of life. You ask others to do this, you can't force them to do it your way. What's more, your parents didn't ask you to be an outsider. No one can impose his own methods on others. Therefore, friendship and communication with friends should not be imposed on other people's homes. You have your own ideas about treating people and things, and your ideas may not be accepted by others, so you can't be the same in treating friends. You have your own way, and I have my own pursuit. Making friends depends on sincerity, and making friends depends on your own character. A true friend will not leave you because you are in trouble, and is not your true friend. Even if I leave you in the most difficult time, you don't have to be sad, because you can recognize what a true friend is. Make more friends when dealing with friends. Don't stand by and stay away from your friends when they need you most. Friendship is a person's need, friendship is a person's necessity, friendship is a person's yearning, and friendship is indispensable for a person's life. We are all eager for friendship. We all cherish friendship. Friends are sincere, friends are sincere. Life with friends is a happy life. There is a bright moon and a cool breeze in my heart. Sit down and observe the changes. Speech is silver, silence is gold. Life is inseparable from friendship! Friendship will accompany you all your life. True friendship should not only be unrequited efforts, but also be thinking about him every day, watching him in class and talking to him after class. Every once in a while, you will want to talk to him, talk about recent events, and sometimes think of the good times with him. . Happy. . Sadness. . Carefree. . It's time for you and me . It's beautiful. I often think of everything he has done for you and everything you have returned. Although he doesn't need you to return, you think you should return or pay for him once. He will dry your tears when you are sad, comfort you and make you stop crying. At that time, although you were wronged, your heart was still full and happy! Of course, true friendship is mutual! He did it for you, and you did it for him. Such friendship is enviable! It's a friendship that only envies Yuanyang but not immortals. This is pure friendship! He didn't mean to hurt you. You will cry! I will remember everything I have done for him before! I wonder why he doesn't understand your feelings, but when he knows his fault and comes to comfort you, you will feel that the rain has cleared up! Stop blaming him and your relationship will be better than before. This is a ring! The ring buckle allows you to face the wind and rain in front of you properly, and you are no longer afraid! Because you are heart to heart and have feelings for each other! In fact, true friendship is very simple and not complicated, but it is not simple for two people to be soul mates and understand each other's feelings. True friendship still needs to be paid.