Feeling that I am incompetent, neither handsome nor rich, not worthy of a good girl I like, and full of self-blame

Most people will become self-motivated under four circumstances: (1) If they have a goal, for example, if they want to chase a girl they like, they will become very self-motivated. (2) If you are interested, for example: if you do a job that you like very much, you will be very motivated. (3) Self-motivation is forced by the environment. For example, if the family has no money to eat, you have no choice but to make money to support the family, and you will naturally become self-motivated. To put it simply, being unmotivated is due to a loss of motivation. You are not motivated now because you can't find your own goals, or because you can't find your interests, causing you to lose your goals in life, so you will feel that you are not motivated. You didn't explain your current situation clearly in your question. I don't know in which aspect you are unmotivated. Is it because you are unmotivated in studying, or because you don't know what you want to do in the future, or because you are working? But he doesn't have much ambition. My answer will probably talk about three situations: (a) I don’t know what I will do in the future, I don’t know my goals, and I feel that I am an unmotivated person. You may have reached an age where you have to think about the future, especially what do you want to do in the future and what are your goals in life? If you don't know what you want to do in the future, you can find out your own goal based on your interests. This goal is the goal of your life. First, what are your interests? If you don’t know what your interests are, ask yourself, what do you like to do in your free time? Or what do you definitely do in your free time? Take out a pen and write down your interests, such as: shopping, watching TV, traveling, clothes, jewelry, painting, reading, surfing the Internet, cooking, etc. Then you list down all the industries related to your interests. For example: if you like drawing, write down painter, cartoonist, etc.; if you like clothes and jewelry, write down clerk, fashion designer, jewelry designer, etc.; If you like traveling, you can write tour guide, photographer, etc.; if you like reading, you can write reporter, author, etc.; if you like surfing the Internet, you can write web designer, etc.; if you like playing computer games, you can write Write down computer game designer, etc.; if you like cooking, you can write down chef, etc. After you finish writing, you have to choose a career that you most want to do, and a career that you think you can do. After you have made your choice, think about whether the career you have chosen has many opportunities. For example, if you choose a photographer, you can be a wedding photographer, photographer, etc. The career options are good. After making the final decision, this career will be your goal and your motivation. You need to start planning to achieve your goals. For example, if you want to be a photographer, you should pay attention to where you can take photography classes, where you can learn photography techniques, etc. When you have a goal, you just have to move forward bravely. Don't look back, don't be half-hearted, keep up your efforts when you encounter setbacks, and persist to the end, and you will succeed. Remember: persistence is victory. (b) Not motivated to study: If you are studying but have no motivation to study, you have lost the motivation to study, and you don’t care about your grades at all, you have to get back the motivation to study. First, you have to find out your life goals. Ask yourself, what kind of life do you want to live in the future? What kind of career do you want? If you don’t know what you want to do in the future, you can refer to (a). If you need academic qualifications in the future, you must study well if you have a goal. In addition, if you can improve your interest in learning and make learning easier, you will pursue better results. Reading is actually a kind of creativity. The method of reading alone is already a kind of knowledge, an experiment, and a process of getting to know yourself. In fact, it is not simple at all. Treat reading as a scientific experiment. If it fails, you will be disappointed. Think of another way. I have written down some creative reading methods here, you can refer to them to see if they suit you. Let me state in advance that this reading method is more effective for liberal arts. For science, it depends on the subject. It seems that mathematics is not suitable, because mathematics is more about practice than memorization. You have to find the most suitable reading method for your reading subject: you can draw the text you want to read into a picture/comic book/comic, use pictures to explain it simply, and shorten the complex content into a simple picture Illustrations are a way to see all directions at a glance, turning complex content into simple content. Draw it silently when you are free, and then stick it on the wall/toilet door. Look at it once a day, and reading will be very fun. If you like sports, you can take out an elastic ball, hit the ball on the paper on the wall and catch the ball. Every time you play with the ball, explain the content on the paper, turning the reading activity into an intense one. A little, so that your mind can be clear and full of energy. You can also write the words and phrases you want to memorize as jokes, using the names of your teachers or your friends or idols, or write them as an interesting sentence. If you have a special memory for pictures, you can also think of the content you want to memorize as a Cartoon, or put together several photos and turn them into a story, etc., so that you will not feel tired of memorizing. You can also be your own teacher, stick the paper on the wall, use it as a blackboard, teach yourself, and increase the fun of reading. You can also create a very effective reading method that is most suitable for you.

(c) Not motivated at work: If you are working, but find that you have lost motivation for your work, you have not thought about promotion and salary increase at all, you just go to and from work boringly every day. If you want to regain motivation at work, you need to ask yourself, why have you lost motivation in this job? It's most likely because you haven't made a breakthrough in your career, so you've lost motivation. You can try to work in another way, increase your interest in work, use your creativity to work, and achieve performance, or you will fall in love with your job and find your motivation. If you are doing a job you don't like, you can consider changing jobs and doing something you like. If you can't change jobs, you have to find your own goals, a motivation that makes you motivated. For example: You can think about your parents, how can you be filial to your parents? You can give them a gift, you have to work hard and rely on your own ability to give them a gift; or you can think about your future, what kind of life do you want to live? What do you want? Write it down, you may want a car or a house; or, for your boyfriend’s birthday, you may want a luxury watch for him. These are your motivations. Give yourself a goal every day, even if it is a simple goal or a short-term goal, it doesn't matter, because with a goal, you will naturally become motivated. ------ In fact, everyone has dreams and goals. Think about it carefully, what is your current goal in life? For example: you may want to find a boyfriend. This is your current dream, so you regard this as your goal. If you are studying, tell yourself that you must study hard, make money in the future, make up for cosmetics, and dress up beautifully; if you are studying, When working, you tell yourself that you have to work hard and earn money for clothes, jewelry, etc. These motivations can make you motivated. ----- Being unmotivated is not a big problem. The most important thing is that you don’t give up on yourself, don’t let yourself fail, and think more about your future. Or you are a person with little ambition and would rather be a very ordinary person. This is not a problem. The most important thing is that you will be able to make money and live happily in the future. If you are studying, it is not a big problem if you are not an excellent student. The most important thing is not to be a failing student; if you are working, it is not a big problem if you have not thought about a salary increase. The most important thing is that you have a job and have Ability to make money. If you can't find a reason to be motivated, it's not a big problem. The most important thing is that you don't give up on yourself and don't give up on yourself. That's enough. As people get older, their outlook on life will change and they will pursue more things. In a few years, you will find that you have become ambitious and self-motivated, so you don’t have to worry too much now.

As long as you are satisfied with the present and live happily, that's enough. Don't force yourself too much and let everything take its course!