How to balance the relationship between parents after divorce?

In many divorced families, although marriage has disintegrated with the death of love, two people have formed certain feelings for each other and their relatives and friends, and this feeling still exists in each other's lives in different ways. If you want to get married again after divorce, how to deal with the old relationship in front of a new partner?

It's really a kind of affection that can't be lost or left. For this love, we should not only have strict principles and boundaries, but also pay attention to certain methods and skills, because the new love and the old love are mixed together, and if we are not careful, we will do something that no one can tell. Looking at the following stories and comments may help some readers in their embarrassing situation.

Care about your old partner and don't change your taste.

Ayong works as a supervisor in a foreign company, and often runs business at home and abroad. His ex-wife Hui is a naive and romantic woman. In the eyes, Hui is a child who will never grow up. She only knows how to play, likes to eat and dress well, and she doesn't need men's care and care all the time. The divorce was initiated by Hui. She said that she didn't like Ayong's rigidity, and living with him lacked interest and romance. She doesn't want to spend her life arguing endlessly. The couple lived together for less than a year, and Hui flatly divorced.

Out of anger, Ayong got married soon after her divorce. The second wife is a gentle and virtuous housewife, and Ayong doesn't worry about all the housework. Ayong changed from a role of caring for his wife to one in which everything was taken care of by his wife. He was very satisfied and finally found a considerate and considerate wife.

By chance, I learned that Hui's life was difficult, and my heart was very sympathetic. He couldn't help making a phone call to Hui: "Let me know if you have any difficulties in the future! One day a husband and wife get married for a hundred days. Who will help you if I don't help you? " With this kind word, Huizhi calls more and more every day. Either the light bulb needs to be changed, or the faucet at home needs urgent repair, and even the fruit at work needs Ayong to help her take home. Ayong is quick to respond and on call. While helping Hui do things, he seems to have rediscovered the satisfaction and happiness that people need.

Gradually, Hui's help was discovered by his wife, and they had their first quarrel. Ayong is also ambivalent: he cherishes his present marriage and his wife is very kind to him. If he and Hui were together, he wouldn't have such a stable life. But Hui was very upset. After all, the relationship between husband and wife kept him in touch with her. He is willing to take care of Hui like a sister until she finds a new husband. Will Hui misunderstand his concern? How can he tell his wife?

Comments: In fact, many divorced women can't give up their dependence on their ex-husbands. This dependence comes from the family relationship before divorce, and also from the real concern of the ex-husband after divorce. If a relationship like this breaks down after divorce, if it continues, it will probably destroy a new family again. For divorced and married men and women, it is not impossible to care about the ex-wife or ex-husband, but it must be sunny, at least under the attention of the current wife or husband. Only by explaining clearly the motives of concern to the families of both parties can we avoid unexplained misunderstandings. The party who takes the initiative to care should always remind themselves not to let care change. Otherwise, it will cause a complicated situation in which three or four people are miserable.

Don't involve new partners in old family relationships.

Last year, Fang Ya got married again. Fang Ya's current husband, Chen Min, is an editor of a publishing house, and his ex-wife is a photojournalist who died in an operation three years ago. Although Chen Min is married to Fang Ya now, his ex-wife's works are still hanging on the walls of every room in the house, and his ex-wife's portrait is still in the study. Fang Ya married him and didn't care about all this. What she is interested in is Chen Min, a person who values affection and righteousness.

Chen Min regards his ex-wife's parents as his own, and visits them every weekend. But the two old people didn't appreciate it, saying that Chen Min married a new lover before her daughter's bones were cold. Fang Ya still clearly remembers that the weekend before her wedding, she wanted to show filial piety to her ex-wife's parents like Chen Min, so she visited Chen Min. As soon as I entered the door, I found that two parents were very cold to her and kept scolding Chen Min, saying, "It's so cold, and you still wear so thin. If our daughter is still here, how can you suffer like this? " Did you help her publish her daughter's works? Have you forgotten her long ago? "Everyone will understand that this is deliberately said to Fang Ya. Looking at the embarrassed Chen Min, Fang Ya made an excuse to go out and go home.

After more than a year of marriage with Chen Min, Fang Ya actually understands the feelings of his ex-wife and two old people. It is unfortunate to lose a daughter. It is also understandable to see the son-in-law married a new wife. However, Fang Ya can't tolerate their two elders being unfriendly to their 4-year-old son. They ignore it lightly, but scold it seriously, which makes children afraid.