What kind of people are confident?

Personality refers to the sum of people's stable psychological characteristics. It sounds a little abstruse. In fact, the meaning of stability is that people show the same and established state in different situations. For example, some people can keep firm faith and full of confidence in good times and bad, and some people always feel sorry for themselves even if things go well.

Many people deeply regret their inferiority and are ashamed to show it to others. In fact, from a biological point of view, it is inevitable that people are not confident. Man is weaker than any other biological species at birth. Babies can hardly do anything except cry and move their limbs. Even some babies can't even suck their mother's milk, and they have to rely on others to survive. Therefore, they are completely insecure, and no one can escape this rule. But from a psychological point of view, people have been accumulating self-confidence all their lives. A little baby learned to crawl, stand, run and talk. Every success brings him a little confidence. So everyone is mixed with inferiority and self-confidence.

There is a misunderstanding that those who have a healthy personality are people who have no weaknesses. In fact, like you and me, they are inferior to others in many aspects, but they understand their limitations and can accept them calmly. Confident people know their limitations and accept them; Know your strengths and give full play to your strengths. Don't do what you can't do, do what you can. This is a confident and charming person.

A confident person is not a person who is better than others everywhere, but is sure of things, knowing that his existence is valuable and that he has an impact on the environment. He has a strong self-management function, knows how to arrange his strengths and weaknesses, and his strengths are more easily aroused with confidence. Such people know that they are close to objectivity and have positive emotions, and the overall state will get the best combination.

People who feel inferior should compare with others everywhere, but they always feel inferior. Confident people focus on their own progress; People with inferiority always focus on their own shortcomings. Confident people are always full of expectations and hopes for what to do, while unconfident people always think that doing anything is useless.

So, how do confident people grow up? In the process of growing up, he was constantly encouraged and learned to accept himself. How do people who are not confident grow up? In daily life, he got too many denials and accusations. In life, how to treat others or yourself who are not confident? Give people with low self-esteem a chance to succeed, and give people with low self-esteem every tiny progress with encouragement and sincere blessing. Tell yourself and others: as long as you do one thing, it will be different.

The other end of the little frog story

The story of the little frog has another ending: before the butter became solid, the two frogs ran out in the jar. The two philosophers argued about this. A said, "Look, what's the use of self-confidence? It is also the end of death. " B said, "Indeed, they are all dead. But until the moment of death, frog A was sad and desperate, while frog B was full, at least not sad and desperate, because it had no time to be sad and desperate. "

Doesn't everyone have the same ending? Then, the difference between people lies in the difference of process.

My favorite ending

Frog A is paddling his limbs wearily, while frog B is still swimming hard. It thought, although the situation is very bad now, I still have to do something. It swam to A's side and found A's limbs moving slowly and mechanically, as if resigned to fate. It said to A: "We two line up, I'm in front, you're in the back, and the actions are the same." Then we exchange places, which can save a lot of physical strength. " One followed it and swam its way, which really relaxed a lot.

B continued while swimming, although it was a little laborious: "I haven't swam in oil, but I know what it tastes like today." This is a good way to keep fit. " If we swim in it for a quarter of an hour every day, we can become the healthiest frog. "He said, while singing his favorite song. A was very tired, but after hearing this familiar song, she couldn't help but forget her fatigue and sing together. The peasant woman found them by searching for the sound, gently picked them up, washed them and sent them home.

Listen to the sound of dripping water

Yuhe

I am often frightened by the dripping sound in my hallucinations. When I was sleeping, when I was awake.

When I was a teenager, I came up with a method (inspired by the diligent story of hanging beams through walls) in order to review for the exam. In the bathroom, I turned off the tap to the point where it could only drip, and put a bucket under it. Drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, and then, I ran back to my room, practiced and recited. Occasionally, at the moment of concentration, at the moment when my tense mind is slightly relaxed, I hear the sound of water droplets urging me. I know that at this moment, the bottom of the bucket has been covered with a layer of water film and is climbing up at an extremely difficult speed.

Even in my sleep, I am often awakened by the dripping sound in my illusion. I suddenly sat up, rushed into the bathroom, wiped my face at random, and sat back at my desk, but my eyes were blank and at a loss. I had to sleep again, but I never dared to sleep deeply. Between dreams and waking, my thoughts are heavy and turbid.

And the voice of that drop of water is unusually clear, distinct, firm, stubborn and exciting.

The sound of this drop of water is chasing me all the time, everywhere.

Listen, this drop of water is alive.

Control water droplets at a speed of two drops per second. This underwater sound sounds a lot like me when I was sixteen or seventeen. I am young, energetic, cheerful, go forward bravely, drip, drip, drip, I have no time to see anything and regret anything. The days of details passed too fast. Slow down a little, just like my middle age, reserved and calm, stopped for a while, didn't think much, and was pushed forward by a lot of trivial chores behind me; Slow down, that is, I used to seep out slowly, converge and condense, like a teardrop, like a crystal of thinking, full, dignified and solemn, hitting the floor, like an ancient oath.

This drip is a declaration of existence. Then, everything returned to the silent nothingness.

You say, this magnificent historical river is made up of how many such small and real water droplets? Life is thrown into the long river of time, like a drop of water jumping into the boundless Wang Yang. What is the difference between the course of everything in the world and a drop of life? I often have nothing to say and swear.

How many plays are being staged on earth or in the universe? How many smiles and tears, sadness and joy, life and death can this dripping boat carry? A drop of water can be held in anyone's palm, but no one can weigh it, and no one can keep it forever.

Between heaven and earth, everything is silent, only the sound of dripping water, such as pearls and Buddhist sounds, falls on my heart bit by bit.

Although the tortoise has a long life, there is still time; The viper died in the fog and turned to dust; Have you ever noticed how the water of the Yellow River left heaven and entered the ocean, never to return? Have you noticed that in the bright mirror of the high room, lovely hair, though silky black in the morning, has turned into snow at night ... water drops wear away, not to mention life is as fragile as cicadas? Where were those lost times before me? Behind me, where are the future generations? How many wise men listened to the sound of dripping water, and their turbid hearts were clear and clean. Their sighs after their epiphany fell in the long river of history, arousing the echo of dripping water and never stopping.

Walking in the field, dew condenses on the tip of the leaf. Colorless and silent.

Suddenly, the sun rises from the horizon and shines brightly.

Dewdrops began to flicker and whisper, just like fireflies flickering.

The light moves slowly, slowly. Gather at the right angle. In an instant, a little bit got the message, and this drop of water reflected dazzling colors in the sunlight, such as red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. Elegant and magnificent, like rainbows and dreams ... in contrast to the simplicity and purity of life.

It has all the colors of any life, all the red, green, great joy and great sorrow are melted away, silently contained, but extremely transparent and bright. What kind of survival wisdom is this!

Even the beauty of this drop of water is more priceless than a rare diamond. Because it is fleeting, it is more spiritual and full of life. Therefore, the beauty is extremely shocking and unparalleled.

Perhaps, the expectation of this drop of water for a lifetime is only for the glory of this moment.

At this point, who dares to despise and ignore the existence of this drop of water? At this time, who can say that colorless and silence are a kind of paleness and monotony? Colorless is the supreme color, and silence is the ultimate sound.

Perhaps, a person's life is not enough to see the process of dripping water into the clouds, but I can't help but believe the sound of dripping water.

Have a colorful life

Liu Yong

light of Buddha

When we arrive at Mount Emei, everyone wants to see the "Buddha Light".

It is said that the Buddha's light can only be seen in a sunny afternoon, when clouds gradually rise from the valley and stand on the "golden roof" of Mount Emei. The sun shines from behind, and a figure can be seen among the clouds, surrounded by colorful auras.

"It's just your own shadow, which is illuminated by the sun on the clouds, and because of the water vapor in the air, it causes the rainbow refraction effect." After watching the Buddha's light, I said to the monk of Emei Mountain National Security Temple.

Thought he would disagree, but he smiled.

"Isn't it? All living beings have Buddha nature, and everyone can become a Buddha. You can't rely on others to get the Buddha's light, you can only rely on yourself. "

Color emotion

The same camera, loaded with black and white negatives, took black and white photos; Load into color negative and take color photos.

The same eyes, with a black and white mood, see the black and white world; Put on a colorful mood and see a colorful world.

Before you get up every morning, think about it-should you put "black and white" or "color" negatives on your eyes today? Learn to make vines.

Visit the wine vineyard.

"1994 grape is the best." The owner said, "Because it was dry that summer, the grapes produced were particularly sweet."

"Are grapes not afraid of death?" I asked.

"New rattan is afraid, old rattan is not afraid. Because the roots of the old vines are deeply rooted, they can absorb far-reaching water from the soil. " The owner said, "Besides, the pruned vines are not afraid of making them grow."

"Why?" I don't understand.

"Because the more leaves grow and the farther the vines climb, the more water is needed. So I can't stand it if I do it. "

Grapes should be deeply rooted and pruned frequently, so that the fruit will be sweet.

People should also be deeply rooted and often pruned, so that knowledge can be true.

know only a little about

We often praise people as "smart and capable". The question is: Are "skilled" people "wise" and "capable" people "capable"? Many people are too delicate to eat at all. The problem is that his vision is not clear, and he always goes astray, which is "fine but unclear".

Some people seem to be proficient in everything, but unfortunately they don't work hard and don't act. This is "can but not".

"Fine but unknown" is like having a good gun but not a good shooter.

"Doing what you can but not doing it" is like Man Cang having ammunition but no army.

Only those who are really "smart and capable" can win this tough battle in life.

Christmas tree

Every year in 65438+February 1 day, there is a Christmas tree lighting ceremony in the square in front of Rockefeller Center in new york.

These oversized Christmas trees are said to have been selected from thousands of giant fir trees in Pennsylvania.

One day, I taught my students to draw Chinese fir trees and mentioned the Big Mac by the way.

"Do you think that huge Christmas tree is really like that?" A middle-aged female student smiled mysteriously. "Wrong, even a good tree will lack branches and leaves. My husband is a carpenter there, and he has to mend it with branches from other trees to be perfect. "

Since then, every time I watch the news that Rockefeller's Christmas tree is lit, I will think of her words.

I think everyone in this world, no matter how great or famous, is like a tree. ...

It is difficult to collect this sword.

When I was a reporter in a TV company, I often went downstairs to watch filming.

One day, I made a martial arts drama. Heroes have high martial arts, and swords are drawn. The enemy fell one after another, and he smartly sheathed his sword.

"Cut," I suddenly heard the director shout loudly to stop, saying that the hero was too slow to close his sword and had to remake it, so everyone took their positions and started all over again.

"Slice," the director shouted again, "the sword is too slow to be natural and unrestrained. Let's start over. "

In this way, over and over again, just one shot, it took more than a dozen times to pass.

Finally, I finished my work, only to find that the hero was still practicing the action of inserting the sword back into the scabbard over and over again. Sigh while practicing:

"It's easy to draw a sword, but difficult to collect it!"

His words are always in my mind. Whenever I am impulsive, I will think, "It is easy to draw a sword, but difficult to collect it."

If I were you.

Cluster hair

Unhappy girl:

Judging from your brief self-introduction, it seems very shocking that you are only in your twenties, but you use a series of incorrect definitions to describe yourself-the lowest, poor, gloomy, inferior, ordinary, humble and limited in ability.

From my personal experience, I have pondered the meaning and ultimate goal of life many times. At present, my answer is only one, a very simple one, and that is to "seek true freedom" and then enjoy life.

Unhappy girl, your mind is not free, is it? Of course, I have not achieved absolute transcendence, but as you wrote in your letter, I am no longer used for myself, although we are still similar in comparison.

If I were you, the first thing I should do is to increase my expectations and value, sweep away the inferiority complex in my letter from my life, and never look down on myself again.

You have a proper job, you can afford to rent a house, you look good, and you know how to further explore the meaning of life after work. These are all beautiful things. Why do you feel humble? It is a great pity that you feel humble because you don't look at yourself subjectively, but with the overall utilitarian view of society.

A person who doesn't appreciate himself is hard to be happy.

Of course, from your letter, it is easy to see some of your feelings. Your expressive ability is not bad. Between your lines, you can clearly see the helplessness and sadness of a single woman in a city to life. This helplessness is not superficial and deserves attention.

Practically speaking, regardless of the illusory method, if I live in what you call a "cubicle", the first thing I will do is to decorate my room. I will paint the room bright white, make a beautiful curtain on the window, put an ordinary small radio at the bedside, make a bookshelf in the corner, replace the light bulb with a warm lampshade, and then go to the flower market to carefully select several pleasing bonsai and put them in the window of the room. If there is any money left, I will buy some replicas of famous paintings-posters-to hang on the wall ... according to my estimation, it will not exceed NT$ 4,000. Of course, if I do everything myself except that radio, I will save the expenses of craftsmen and life will be much more interesting.

A beautifully decorated room is the first step to enjoy life and change your mood. For me, it is no longer a closet. Then, when I get paid-if I were you, I would buy myself a beautiful and practical dress with little money. If I don't feel cheerful enough, I will probably go to the hair salon and spend NT 100 yuan to get a haircut all year round, so as to give myself a refreshing pleasure. When I get paid next month, I will choose some light makeup or buy a new pair of shoes for myself.

Look, if I were you, I would change slowly.

If I go to class, I may make some friends. Since my small room is so beautiful, maybe I can invite my friends to sit down and talk about their lives or dreams once in a while.

Slowly, I no longer feel inferior. I bravely contact kind and virtuous people (there are many such people in society), and I will find that everyone is ordinary-but beautiful, just like myself. I will also find that I can achieve a good life without too much money. I don't care whether the opposite sex is interested in me or not, because my own life is getting richer and richer, and it's too late to enjoy myself. Do you still think so much? If I were you, I wouldn't wait for Sanmao to publish a new book. I will write my own notes and enjoy myself. I will gradually find that my own writing is also interesting and interesting. I am really a lovely woman.

Unhappy girl, please act! Don't rely on others to give you happiness. If you decorate the room first and encourage yourself to do it, you will find that things are not as difficult as you think, and interests can be sought. Try the east and the west, as long as you know what you like in your heart, cultivate it and become a pastime after work.

However, I still believe that the deepest happiness in this world is to help others, not just to enjoy it in the world of self-of course, it is also important to enjoy your own life. First, you should imagine yourself as someone else, help yourself build up confidence, and make up your mind to change your current lifestyle and make yourself alive. Don't let life lose money again. At least you have to try and try your best. There are many ways to enjoy life. The problem is that you must take action. Daydreaming is not enough. Write to me next time, sign "Happy Girl" and delete the word "No", ok? Your friend San Mao Shang