Finally, I made peace with myself

A while ago, my friend’s dream of writing full-time finally came true. He got a signing letter from a well-known company, and also won the first prize in two large essay contests. Behind these seemingly easy things, Except for himself who knows how difficult it is, outsiders may not know more.

What I know is that before this, he had been living in a small house of 10 square meters. After finding several jobs to no avail, he wanted to change his situation by writing.

But judging from his circle of friends, his life is not that good. He met a weird roommate and had no less than three quarrels, and almost got into a fight once. The sound insulation of the house was not good, which affected his creation more than once. and rest.

While he was creating with great fighting spirit and passion, the field he was good at suffered heavy losses. During that time, he felt that his life was hopeless and he lived a life without love every day.

Fortunately, he persisted, and just when he was about to give up, he finally succeeded.

After hearing the news of his success, I couldn’t sit still. Because I was not used to the life and rhythm of second-tier cities, I changed two jobs in Changsha. After staying there for half a year, I still wasn’t used to it. I always wanted to When I return to Beijing, I always feel that only big cities have opportunities and space for their own development.

So I started complaining to another friend and mentioned my idea of ??quitting my job to write. I gave her a bunch of cases around me, but I didn’t mention their failure situations. She didn’t say anything. , threw me a few questions.

How many fans do you have on several platforms combined now?

Less than two thousand.

What is the most read piece of your published work?

Less than 20,000.

How many texts or works have you published?

The text is less than a million, and the photography and video are less than a hundred.

How much savings do you have now?

I can barely support myself

......

The more I talk about it, the less confident I am. After a deep thought, I thought about it for several days. , carefully analyzed his situation and gave up the idea.

I don’t have enough capital, I don’t have the knowledge and thinking of a freelance writer, and I don’t have a father who is rich enough not to work. I think most people are like me, but... Just busy ordinary people among all living beings.

I can’t support myself if I don’t work. I always have a dream I had when I was young but couldn’t realize it. When I see others doing what I have always wanted to do and succeeding, I will Sitting on pins and needles, restless.

But aren’t we the envy of others? When you complain that your life at two o'clock and one line every day is boring and your future is bleak and there is no end in sight, maybe others are envying your white-collar life of being well-dressed and going in and out of high-end office buildings every day.

In my junior year, I worked in a factory for two months during the winter vacation and met Du Du. Du Du was from Dashan, Guizhou. His family was not very well off and he went to work before finishing junior high school.

Sometimes he will comment on my circle of friends and chat with me for a while.

I was in a bad mood for a while, so I posted a post on WeChat Moments titled "Can I kill the past?". Dudu commented to me saying not to kill the past, but to reconcile with the past.

At the time, I didn’t quite understand why reconciliation was necessary. Later, I realized that reconciliation is just about accepting the imperfect self and the imperfect past.

Du Du said that because his family had to support his younger brothers and sisters in studying, he had no choice but to drop out of school to make money to support his family. He hated his parents at first, but later he saw more in society and stopped hating them. .

You cannot choose your birth, and your family of origin cannot choose. These cannot be changed after you are born. However, we ourselves can change ourselves, and the first step to change ourselves is to accept ourselves and reconcile with ourselves.

It was the 2020 postgraduate entrance examination a while ago. Before that, I never dared to tell others about my two failures. I was afraid of being laughed at and afraid that I wouldn’t be able to pass that hurdle. But now, I think it’s okay. I failed. Only if you have experienced this word a lot will you be able to deal with it calmly.

To be honest, it was impossible not to feel depressed when I failed the postgraduate entrance examination. Moreover, both times were because of English, and I had a fever the second time.

Later, I used the manuscripts I wrote before and some experience as a writer to successfully switch careers. As a newcomer, my salary is much higher than that of related professionals who have just graduated and entered this industry.

These days, I use my time off work to write some things. Although the harvest is not great, and I continue to explore the path of writing, an article posted on Weibo exceeded 10,000 in less than a month. , the article I posted had over 8,000 views in two months, and I also received a lot of encouragement.

This made me surprised and grateful, and Weibo also gained nearly a hundred followers in seven days because of an article. Although these two articles are not my best, although they are just a few. It's a small gain, but it would be nice to make progress.

I know that you are unwilling and want to change, but just calm down and persist. Trust me, you will see a different scenery.

Before that, please accept yourself and admit that you are an ordinary person. Only in this way will you be down-to-earth, and then opportunities will come across unexpectedly.