Domestic violence photography

On social media, the topic of "beauty blogger Yu Ya was abused by her ex-boyfriend" caused widespread controversy. Uya used social media to call ex-wives of ex-boyfriends to complain about their domestic violence. She also wrote on social media: "I was abused. I have been living in a nightmare for the past six months. I need to say it out loud. " According to the details of the video exposure, the topless ex-boyfriend forcibly dragged Yu Ya out of the elevator, and Yu Ya desperately resisted. "Visual experience" is very cruel. It is reported that Yuya's ex-boyfriend has had three marriages, and his ex-wife has also suffered serious domestic violence.

In fact, it is really not easy to "speak out" such domestic violence. Because, in the market order within our power, "domestic violence" is often considered as "family shame" and "family shame" should not be publicized. Therefore, nine times out of ten, "domestic violence" is hidden in a distorted relationship. In addition, under the condition that women are generally in a weak position, a "tolerance consensus" has been formed.

Frankly speaking, it means "as long as you fight, as long as you die, you will definitely survive." There is even a folk saying to comfort women: "A man without temper is not a man". Domestic violence is reasonable and tolerable when possible. This is the only way to happiness. " There are many women who believe this. So they defended the "cheating man" until the flirting man put a knife around their necks.

In a sense, women's tolerance is the support for domestic violence. If you cheat a man's ex-wife into playing with a woman's feelings, you can stand up and resist earlier, and there will be no fierce jade buds. Of course, these are stories of the future, representing things that will happen forever. It can also be seen that the most direct problem related to women's weakness itself is not the physical gap, but the cognitive weakness.

Take Yu Ya as an example. In fact, she is also a "fighter" (elite) among women. At least from a broad perspective of life, she can surpass most women. However, even so, she chose to tell her tragic experience in unbearable circumstances. In a true tone, it tells the cruelty of men cheating on women's feelings.

There is a saying that "the poor must have something hateful." When it comes to domestic violence, people have mixed feelings. After all, the tolerance of women has led to the proliferation of men who cheat and play with women's feelings, but at the same time, many women have to choose silence because of the "shame" of imprisonment. The loud appeal of "don't be silent in the face of domestic violence" is more like a whimsical statement. However, the hidden worry behind this is worth pondering and asking.

In our "marriage background", women's standard for "good men" is to make money. As for "handsome and tall", this is not a requirement. Therefore, more subtle standards (gentleness, wisdom, etc. ) has become more elusive. In this regard, the occurrence of domestic violence is not surprising. Because, in general women's cognition, the core of love and marriage is money, not people.

For example, Yuya's ex-boyfriend is "bad", but there is nothing wrong with marrying a wife and finding a girlfriend. Because he is a "painter" and a "photographer", this means that he is the winner of Vanity Fair. At least, there should be a lot of material things. This seems to be the core of female depravity. Otherwise, a "poor man" and "domestic violence" probably can't stand it for so long.

In short, at this point, "the original sin of female material desire" has an unshirkable responsibility. Of course, this does not mean that women should be abused. On the contrary, as victims of domestic violence, women may be attracted by material desires to some extent. After all, in the logic of "Man Gao Fushuai", women's eyes have become cloudy.

In addition, in the cognition of ordinary women, "self dwarfing" is very serious. Generally speaking, whether in marriage or love, or in daily social life. Too many women are addicted to saying "you are a man, you are a man, or I am a woman, I am a woman". Moreover, this discourse logic has formed a certain atmosphere. In this atmosphere, it is "men are superior to women".

Of course, compared with western society, we also have some cultural characteristics. For example, mothers often have a higher position in the family. But it became obvious only in middle age. But in the basic fact that women are at a disadvantage, there is no fundamental difference between the two. Although, people often say: "Men and women are the same in different times".

But this is just a grand statement. Women in real life never put themselves on an equal footing with men. As a result, women's rights are distorted. Take the current order of marriage and love, the basic economic expenses (buying a house and a car) are still borne by men, which leads to men's bad temper and women's responsibility. This more gendered relationship is indeed worth reflecting on.

In the final analysis, "domestic violence" is really not because of the disparity in "physical strength", but the core problem is the cognitive dilemma. In fact, when we say "domestic violence", we mainly mean "domestic violence between men and women". But in reality, the behavior of "female domestic violence man" also exists. However, in proportion, more men abuse women.

Gu Hongming said, "Men are teapots and women are teacups." A teapot must have several cups, but a cup cannot have several cups. This view must not be unique to men, but also exists in many women's views. Therefore, in some marriages, many young men and women tend to judge the quality of marriage by how many people they have slept with.

Therefore, for the role of love and marriage, it is often "the object is prey, they are hunters". The basic relationship between love and marriage is "seeking counterpoint". Here, in the specific process of getting along, we just try our best to "catch each other". Therefore, various exception control logics have emerged. Domestic violence is just one of them.

However, for the "scum of domestic violence" in the above incidents, they are still alive today, which is a tragedy of the whole society. On the one hand, at the legal level, domestic violence should not be handled without evidence; On the one hand, the moral prejudice against domestic violence is benign. Therefore, domestic violence will become popular and continue to do evil unscrupulously.

Fortunately, not all women will degenerate and be abused by scum. Moreover, as long as Yuya is the same woman, there can be more. I believe there will be fewer such scum. Many times "passive respect" is backward, so "active counterattack" is necessary. Yes, he is "smart and upright", but he is also "as fierce as a wolf".

As Li Yinhe said: "There are many feminist theories, in the final analysis, in order to achieve equality between men and women of all mankind." 29. In the final analysis, we should treat ourselves as adults and others as adults. Don't always think about hunting others or asking others to provide you with better living materials, because no one is a fool. Therefore, it is more important for a person to establish himself than to find love, regardless of his boyfriend.