Degang Guo Yu Qian is afraid of New Year greetings.

Guo: Many people came today. Guo: All the empty seats are full. Guo: There is still such a calculation. Guo: Today, a lot of time has been delayed, and some roads are still restricted (Beijing National Day is restricted, and the subway is long gone).

Y: Yes, Guo: Speak less (the audience can't shout well ...) Guo: You are not afraid of one by one, and I am even more afraid of not booing. You are all people with ID cards. Many people came today, and thousands of people came. Guo: Some people come from the same family. Yes, Guo: Some have children. Y: Yes, a family!

Guo: Some brought wives ... Some brought other people's wives. You can see. Guo: Look at your hands. Who brought someone else's wife? Really have hands! ..... This is Guo throwing caution to the wind: like a modest wife? Y: who is it? My daughter-in-law went to the theatre ...

Guo: I went to the theatre with someone else ... I hope you are happy no matter who I bring. Some people say, Brother Qian, he's not angry: Hey, it's not unusual for Brother Qian to film, perform on stage and get in touch with actors and actresses. Anyway, over the years, I have seen them quarrel, sometimes because of these things. Yu: Guo: My sister-in-law asked.

Guo: I can't penetrate, I can't penetrate, there's nothing I can't penetrate: the wall! Guo: Sister-in-law also asked, "What's the matter? Look at the photo that day. What happened to a photo taken with an actress? Yu: What's the matter? Guo: Hey, take part in accidental amusement! Yu: Guo: Take part in accidental amusement. My sister-in-law is happy. " This is a series! Y: I always do, don't I? Guo: Anyway, no matter what my sister-in-law says, Brother Qian is in no hurry: that's true. Guo: He didn't stare, he didn't sulk, he didn't move his hand.

Y: We call it cherishing fragrance and jade. Guo: Which bathhouse? Y: What's the bathhouse for? Guo: What do you mean by bathing with lotus fragrance? Guo: What do you mean by bathing with lotus fragrance? What does it mean to bathe with lotus fragrance? Fall in love with jade? Well, everyone wants to have a good family. Everyone wants to find a suitable partner, but it is difficult to find Guo. Let's take a woman as an example. Beautiful ones don't go to the kitchen. Guo and others went to the kitchen. Not fashionable.

Yu: Enguo: fashionable people spend money indiscriminately: Enguo: those who don't spend money are not feminine: Enguo: those who are feminine can't stand it; Erguo: those who can stand it can't stand it: well, it's not good at all. Guo: Everyone wants to have a happy marriage. How many poems have written this theme since ancient times: many? Guo: Alas, Guan Guan's pigeon, in Jiangzhou, is a gentle and lovely lady and a good gentleman. This is the famous Duan Guo: I live at the head of the Yangtze River and you live at the end of the Yangtze River. (This seems to be a sentence changed in Pan Changjiang's essay "Crossing the River". . No, is there a boat?

Y: no! What is this? This is Guo: I remember that ancient poets wrote a lot about this: it was not in ancient poetry. Guo: Actually, I also hope to have a good marriage. You Guo: I have a very good painting in front of me, a particularly beautiful oil painting. The sky is clear, the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant, the stream is gurgling, the forest is full of green, and some seagulls are flying by the river ... Yu: Wait a minute. Guo: By the sea, some seagulls are flying by the sea. ...

Y: Don't ask people to talk, you are in this capital. Anyway, a few birds flew by. Yu: Nothing. On the tree-lined path, the princess and the prince walked slowly hand in hand, followed by a white horse, eating grass and strolling around. The prince was singing softly. What did you sing? Guo: "The diesel I drilled came from the well. . . (It should be a song sung by oil workers when they exploit oil)

Y: Well, you'd better go to work. Guo: sesame oil? Y: What about diesel? Guo: Diesel sesame oil? Y: oil! ..... Guo, also never sang this: the oil prince, Yu: Guo, a Saudi, sang "Our motherland is a garden, the flowers in the garden are really bright, and the Dutch sun shines on us ..."

Y: I can't even write. Guo: Good word. The Dutch sun shines on his face, but not in America. Guo: Everything is like a fairy tale. The prince and princess have started a life without shame. . . Yu: shameless life Guo: This is my fantasy. I also had a girlfriend, Yu and Guo. Her name was Shuang. Although I didn't know her last name, it was Shuang anyway ... Every time I went to their house to find her, I stood at the bottom of the building and shouted "Shuang!" Cool! "Do you know how many people push the window to see in the community! Y: People don't know what you are doing. Guo: Call her name. Y: Is that a name? This is Guo: She is gentle and elegant, especially lovely. She works as Miss Guan Gong in a sales company.

Y: Don't ask, your girlfriend is blushing. What do you mean by Miss Guan Gong? Guo: What's that? Anyway, Miss Guan Gong is right. Y: The name of the PR lady is Guo. Almost ... when we are free, we sit together and chat, play Go and have tea. Guo: Now I think it's called (I didn't catch it). There is a stove burning in the room, and we sit face to face. When you rush in with boiling water, the first bubble (four sounds) will be poured out, and the water for making tea can't be drunk: Yes Guo: We started drinking from the second bubble (one sound) ... and drank one bubble after another. ...

Y: You two are a disgrace. Guo: You drank one bubble after another ... You didn't drink tea. Y: I have tried it, but it doesn't taste like you. Guo: You have to see how fresh it is. Guo: It was yellow at first, but it didn't turn yellow later. That's ... after drinking one bubble after another, you made tea. Guo: I didn't expect you to have such a low pursuit.

Guo: She said to me affectionately, "You are so kind to me. In the next life, when I am a cow or a horse, I will also please you with food. " Y: (I didn't hear you clearly) Guo: Am I a cow or a horse? Y: Isn't that still two? Guo: The good times have passed, and we often quarrel.

Y: I'm still playing. Guo: It's too noisy. She accused me of "you are heartless and unreasonable" and I said "you are heartless and unreasonable". Who are you calling heartless and unreasonable? I'm not heartless. I'm not heartless, but I'm not as heartless as you. I am not heartless at all, but you are heartless.

Y: Which woman did you marry as a crosstalk performer? Guo: After the quarrel, we broke up. That's Guo. She left me a note "Don't look for me again, I'm dead". Guo: I said something that hurt my feelings, and I was stupid. It was a bolt from the blue and my shorts screamed. What's the sound of underwear? Guo: The man said, "Ah, well, are the underpants noisy?" Y: There is no pronunciation in this place, OK? Keshika ... K ū ch ā is outrageous!

Guo: Don't mess with me: Who bothered you? Guo: This is lyrical: What are you expressing? Your pants are too short. Du Guo: My beloved Shuang, she actually died. I went to the community to find her. I also found Guo: I stood at the bottom of the building in tears, shouting "Cold, cold ..." More people saw it. Guo: What's wrong? Lovelorn! Guo: Oh, lovelorn? I feel very sad in my heart. I insist that I will never find a girlfriend again since I came here. Yo Guo: Later, many people advised me. I said don't talk to me. My heart is dead. Time flies. Maybe time is the best medicine. I began to think that I would never fall in love again. Guo: Day by day has passed. On the third day, I figured it out: just keep silent for three days.

Guo: I didn't find the right one three days ago: I didn't take it to heart at all. Guo: Alas, when I walked into the community, I looked up inadvertently and a girl waved to me: Hello … I met the right one.

Guo: I learned later ... people are cleaning the glass. You don't look at the towel in your hand, just look at it. Suddenly I feel that my spring is coming again. Oh ... Guo: I waited for her at the gate of the community and finally saw it. Beautiful, beautiful. Guo: I walked over and stretched my legs like a gentleman ... Bang, I fell there ... Wow! This gentleman is still doing this. Guo: reach out and help her "relax, I'm not a good person" ... Wrong: nonsense, you are telling the truth. Guo: She stood up and walked away: I ignored you. Guo: I froze when I looked at her back. Beautiful: Oh? Guo: Such a beautiful beauty is rare in the world. She looked like a fairy with a beautiful waist, so she was crushed by Song Chanjuan. But when I think that this is not a flat peach banquet, how can Chang 'e leave the cold of the moon? She is like an orange picker in Nanshan, and I am better than Edison Chen ... Yu: What are you! Singing and singing, these two came out again. Guo: I'm determined to chase her. I want to pursue others. Guo: In a residential area, it is very convenient to catch up. She buys newspapers as soon as she leaves the neighborhood, and so do I! "What a coincidence, you also buy newspapers." Y: I ignored you. Guo: I left ... waiting at the bus stop at the gate for "What a coincidence, you are waiting for the bus ..." ... when I met "What a coincidence, you also visited the supermarket." Y: Hey Guo: I came out of the bathroom to wash my hands. "What a coincidence, you also pee your hands. Y: If she can really pee on you, are you still chasing others? Guo: Why are you so sympathetic? You are dirty, you know that! Y: Is it that close? Guo: The girl stood there and asked me, "What the hell are you doing? Y: You made it clear that I like you very much. What do you think is wrong with me? I will change. " The girl nodded. "Do you think it's good for me? I will change ... "Yu: No play. Guo: I failed again. In a good mood, someone introduced me to a girlfriend. It is already late autumn. It's very cold. Guo: The two of us are sitting on a big bench in the park. I paid her a careful visit. About 1.4 meters. Guo: Small face, purple.

Y: purple? Guo: Her face is covered with freckles. I wonder if she speaks for Lu. Her appearance has exceeded people's imagination. This woman is too easy to recognize, post-modern style. She must have Transformers blood. She was stunned for a long time: Oh Guo: She took the initiative to break the deadlock "Hello". Let me see her: En Guo: Are you the rescuer invited by the monkey? Yu: (I didn't catch it clearly) Guo: The girl said my online name was "Rejection" ... Oh, I didn't expect my name to be so different from mine. The screen name is "Reject", which means it is very noble. Yu: Reject Guo: Why do you choose such a screen name? I think it's better to call it rejection, and the radical seems to be more subtle: then remove the radical Guo: giant color … ahahaha … really easy-going . Although I am fat, my waist is thin. Although I am ugly, my nickname is Mei. Miss Li, how much do you weigh? 260 ... only later did I know that I was cheated: what happened? Guo: The scale reaches 260 Jin. Guo: Girl, I really admire you. You are such a man. What did you say? Guo: She is very happy. She took out a razor in her pocket ... Yu: It was reckless. Guo: Really? I took a nude photo the other day and posted it online. What about you? How about Guo: I didn't expect the post to sink in: well, no one wants Guo: how to talk! I am a jumping girl ... Yu: I haven't heard that girls in big leap wear razors. Guo: Take out a box of cigarettes and spit out a smoke ring ... To be honest, I have never seen such a good smoke ring for so many years ... One more, one more ... I like to see this good, good (vomiting, convulsions) spit all over the floor. I dare not say a word. I wrote the word "demolition" in: Well, I really can't understand this. Guo: I think they are a little too much. I was angry when I watched it. She was so grateful that she landed gently on my shoulder. A photographer came and took a photo, and later he said, Wow, how pathetic this Guo is! This photo spread abroad, and Saddam praised it. Guo: There is nothing to say after sitting for a long time. He asked me, "Are you hungry? I said, "No, I have a bad stomach. Yesterday, I made noodles in dream of eating, but I found my shoelaces missing this morning. "

Y: Is this a dream? This is a night outing. No! Guo: I'm not hungry ... Let's go to dinner. Take me away. We walked hand in hand. A friend came from the opposite side and looked at me happily. "Newly bought Tibetan mastiff?" Y: Well, he looks like a dog. Guo: It's so sympathetic ... looking for a restaurant, he went in. The waiter stopped him. "Sir, we don't allow pets here." I said, take a closer look at this ... come in and sit opposite. Very emotional. I ordered an old vinegar peanut and a fried red fruit, and each of us had a cup of apple vinegar. I was stunned at that time, and I was sweating. I say we stop joking. I may not be right for you. It's okay. I can accept you. Think about it. If I follow you, what educational significance will it have? I understand what he said. If I marry her, I will donate money to the Red Cross. Guo: It's just like building the Great Wall. It's like apologizing to the secret. Hey, ok, Guo: I said no! I don't go to hell, who loves to go underwater! She was also anxious and patted the table. "If you don't marry me, I'll find someone to marry here!" Here comes the restaurant owner. "No, all your guests have run away?" Y: No one dares to marry her. Guo: I said go, I won't go, you will lose my youth! I said, where can you lose this day?

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, you make a price, one thousand yuan! Yu: Buduoguo: I'm really in a hurry. Tigers don't send cats. You think I'm dying? You are Guo: I am so angry that I can't speak. How could you do that? Let's make an offer. She said it's okay. I looked out the window and I said nothing. Let's listen to Yu Qian. I am outside. Guo: There is a statue of Teacher Yu outside. Many viewers and fans like teachers. I got a lot of plastic statues for my teacher, and I wore a suit with the back of my hand here to tell the audience. This is a greeting. Guo: As soon as you said 1000 yuan, the price of pork went up. You give me 500 yuan, and I say the pork is still edible. Do you think it is useful? Well, tomorrow, tomorrow morning, at ten o'clock, in front of the teacher's statue, give the money to: Well, give the money to Guo Qian: I don't think it's worth it if she leaves. Where can I walk my dog for 500 yuan a day? Find a friend, hurry up, see the statue of Yu Qian, knock off three with your fingers and give two hundred.

I, Guo: Alas, the arrangement is finished. We met under the statue at ten o'clock the next morning and gave her 200 yuan. Why did you take it away? Teacher Yu said to show you two hundred heads. You look up and get some fresh air. This hand is like this ... (thumb and little finger are left) Yu: knock these three! Guo: Knock these three out: Oh, well, another hundred Guo: She was overjoyed, 600, and the teacher asked her to pay more than 600: These two people are really obedient Guo: I am angry, ah, there is nothing I can do. After giving 600, I turned to my friend ... you are too bad, I asked you to knock those three. Y: Hey, Guo: I heard he's happy, but it's cheaper anyway: What's the matter? Guo: You have to pay 800 yuan for this. ...