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199 1 year 65438+1October 4th, Sanmao, a well-known female writer, hanged herself in Taiwan Province Veterans General Hospital! She hanged herself with stockings on the drip stand in the ward. Her height is 1.7 meters, and the place where she hanged herself is only 1.6 meters. Sanmao bent over and committed suicide by accommodating the position of one meter six. Anyone who grabs the handrail by hand can survive, but if she doesn't, think about how determined she is to die.

Whenever I hear the melody of The Olive Tree, the sentence "Don't ask me where I come from, my hometown is far away, why should I wander, wander far away ..." I can't help thinking of the wandering woman writer Sanmao! Her "How Many Flowers Fall in Dreams", her "The Story of Sahara" and her "Crossing Qian Shan" ... all make many boys and girls yearn for the distance!

There are still different stories about her death today. People don't understand why such a gorgeous woman who was born like a summer flower chose to commit suicide for love. Name? Or character?

It is absolutely impossible to die for fame, which is denied by his sister and brother.

Rolling the world of mortals, written in 1990, is the first Chinese book written by Sanmao. In the same year, it was adapted into a film starring Brigitte Lin and Qin and Han Dynasties. The film won the Golden Horse Award for Best Director, Plot, Heroine, Supporting Actress, Photography, Music, Art Design and Modeling 1990, but it didn't win the Sanmao Award for Best Screenplay. Some people say that San Mao can't get through it because the script is not recognized. However, as can be seen from the letter written by Sanmao to Zhang Leping, the author of Sanmao's Wandering Story, before the award ceremony, she didn't take this matter seriously at all. She wrote: "I don't believe I will win the prize. I take it lightly." And at that time, San Mao's mental state was on the verge of collapse, and people were already halfway through her heart. She doesn't have much demand for material things, and she doesn't care about these empty names. This can't be the reason why Sanmao committed suicide.

1973, San Mao and Jose got married in Ayong, a small town in the Spanish Sahara desert. 1979 On September 30th, Jose died unexpectedly while diving in the sea. How much Jose loves Sanmao can be understood from her work Beard and Me and her precious recordings before her death. How much does Sanmao love Jose? It is reported that after Jose's death, Sanmao tried to get in touch with Jose in various ways, including Guan (a kind of psychics). Sanmao's sister Chen Tianxin once wrote in the book Sanmao: 1943- 199 1 "After Jose left, she couldn't bear to part. ..... As for her suicide, we all know that she may have this day ... But I think she actually has a curiosity about death and always wants to see what is going on. "

Losing Jose is undoubtedly a fatal blow to San Mao. Her spirit has completely lost its sustenance. She once wanted to die, but under the strong persuasion of her family and Qiong Yao, she promised not to commit suicide.

Many years later, Sanmao, who settled down with love, met the "father of northwest folk songs" Wang. I heard that the old man was ill-fated, and San Mao, who felt the same way, decided to comfort him and stay in the west for a long time. Sanmao's enthusiasm for the elderly is understood as love. At this time, Wang is a 77-year-old man, 30 years older than San Mao. In the face of such an old man who wrote a folk song that was sung repeatedly when he was young, Sanmao was full of worship and love and lived together for a short time. Media comments on their love are overwhelming.

Maybe they really appreciate each other, but they didn't take the step of love.

"I am an old umbrella used by Bernard Shaw and can only be used as a crutch."

"We are not good actors, I can't play love, you can't play passion."

This is the content of their correspondence at that time.

Not long after staying in Wang, Sanmao left Urumqi. On the second day after leaving Wang, Sanmao hanged himself. Many people regard Wang's "refusal" as the last straw to crush the camel.

In fact, Sanmao and Wang don't spend much time together, and love has never started, let alone ended.

Sensitive and precocious personality is also an important factor.

Looking at Sanmao's growing experience, autism and depression began to appear in her adolescence. Choosing suicide has been running through her growing footprint. It can be said that the existence of Jose delayed this step, or that Jose's death promoted this step.

Sanmao has a delicate and sensitive heart and has a deep understanding of the passage of life since childhood. When she was a child, she used to sneak into the cemetery and sit all day. Whenever the Chinese New Year is over, the butcher kills sheep in the village, and she always leans over and stares at it carefully.

/kloc-When she was 0/3 years old, she drew circles on her eyes with ink because the algebra teacher publicly insulted her in class. Sanmao's sensitive heart was traumatized, she refused to go to school and even cut her wrist. Although she was rescued, since then, her autism has become more and more serious. It was not until 19 that she began to get in touch with the outside world.

At the age of 20, Sanmao's life is on the right track, during which she talked about a love that could not be ended. Finally, because her proposal was rejected, she couldn't help but go to Spain to study.

At the age of 24, while studying in Spain, I met Jose, who is six years younger than myself. The other party left a promise of "waiting for me for six years".

At the age of 28, Sanmao returned to Taiwan Province Province to teach German. During this period, she met a 45-year-old German teacher. Because she wanted to settle down, they got engaged soon. However, another person died of a heart attack in Sanmao's arms the day before her wedding. San Mao was heartbroken and committed suicide by swallowing sleeping pills. Later, she was found in time and saved.

San Mao, who suffered many setbacks in her emotional path, did not stay too much this time and once again embarked on a journey to Madrid, Spain. Shortly after returning to Spain, San Mao and Jose reunited, moved and fulfilled their "six-year contract".

At the age of 3 1, Sanmao married 25-year-old Jose.

Love occupies the most important position in Sanmao's life. She devoted her passion and sincerity to love, just like a phoenix nirvana! For San Mao, who is slender, sensitive and affectionate, the perfection of love makes people rich, but at the same time, love can't give people the deepest pain!

Yes, Jose's death was the most fatal blow, and from then on, she was devastated!

After Jose died, Sanmao often told her sister that she wanted to die.

"Life is so boring. My favorite person has left, and everything I want to do in my life has been finished. You see, when I travel, I have traveled all over the world. I have lived much longer than others in three lifetimes. I think that's enough. But I don't want to make you sad and I can't let you go. So, I'm not dead yet. "

At this point, death is not terrible for San Mao, on the contrary, it is more like a relief.

Sanmao left 23 works in his life, totaling 6.5438+0.5 million words. Maybe she realized that her future was numbered before she died, so she burned herself desperately in her limited life and left so many beautiful literary works for everyone.

Sanmao's writing, warm and rich, always gives people a deep sense of melancholy, especially in her later works. I think this has a lot to do with her emotional experience and inner sensitivity. Now, we can only remember her by her words!

"People's life is not the length, but whether they live happily." -San Mao

"If there is an afterlife, be a tree and stand in eternity, without the gesture of sadness and joy. Half peacefully in the soil, half flying in the wind, half in the shade, half bathed in the sun, very silent and proud, never relying on or looking for it. -San Mao "Tell yourself"

"Every time I miss you, a grain of sand falls from the sky, and the Sahara has been formed since then. Every time I miss you, a drop of water falls from the sky, thus forming the Pacific Ocean. -San Mao "

"Later, I once became a woman who didn't believe in love, so I left and went into the desert instead of looking for love. I think I was probably looking for a homesickness in my last life! -San Mao's Desert

"I avoid too warm friendship when I am doing nothing, which makes me less burdened and committed. I don't talk much about unnecessary gossip, which makes me feel relaxed. I try not to recall the past, because there is no turning back when I come. I love others carefully, because it won't flood. I can cry if I like, smile happily, as long as it all comes from nature. Not deep, but simple. -San Mao "Send you a horse" "