When I checked my boyfriend’s Weibo and saw a message from a strange girl, should I quit my job and go find him?

1

When you take a confrontational stance to defend love, you have actually lost.

I found out about Zhang Han’s situation while browsing Weibo. Zhang Han doesn't use Weibo very much. He recently posted a photo on Weibo, which showed him cooking in the kitchen.

It is said that men who cook are the sexiest. When it comes to Zhang Han, I absolutely agree. In the photo, Zhang Han, who is 1.86 meters tall, is shirtless, showing off his toned muscles. His figure is comparable to those of male models on the catwalk. There were flames burning on the two gas stoves in the kitchen. He took a mouthful of corn rib soup with a spoon to taste the saltiness. His concentrated expression was like creating a great work of art.

I recognize this photo. Last Saturday afternoon, I asked Zhang Han what he was doing. He sent me this photo and said he was making dinner. I looked at his delicious appearance and was obsessed with him for a long time.

Now he put this photo on Weibo.

It was all his friends who followed suit -

"So coquettish?"

"Why are you so coquettish if you don't cook well?"

p>

"The photo caused discomfort and has been reported!"

I scrolled through the comments one by one and found an unfamiliar message.

A girl with the nickname "Little Deer Manman" left a message saying: "Wow, the soup tastes delicious just by looking at it. I am so happy to be your girlfriend!"

Chapter Han has been liked by many girls since he was in college. At that time, we were still using Renren. Girls would often find his Renren account and send him private messages to confess their love to him. Unexpectedly, there are girls following me on Weibo now.

I met Zhang Han in college. He was a high school classmate of my friend Xiao Lin. In the second semester of my sophomore year, there was a basketball game held in the school. Xiaolin took me to cheer for Zhang Han. My heartbeat was crazy when I looked at the handsome boy on the basketball court. Maybe I fell in love with him from the first moment I saw him. Zhang Han is handsome and a little cynical. He knows that he is good-looking, and he also knows that he is liked by girls. He always treats girls who like him with a mocking and teasing mentality. But just because of his frivolous attitude, he is more popular with girls. Men are not bad, but women don't love him.

His girlfriend is the beauty of the School of Finance. She is tall and fair-skinned. The two of them stand together, making them a perfect couple.

I like Zhang Han, but I know he won’t like me. I didn't want him to know that I liked him, so I stood proudly and humbly in the corner, silently liking him.

Not long after the start of his junior year, Zhang Han broke up with his girlfriend. I asked Xiaolin the reason for the breakup, but Xiaolin didn't know, "Who knows, he didn't say anything." Although I didn't find out the reason, I felt a vague happiness in my heart.

The school held a mathematical modeling competition, and I asked him to ask Zhang Han to form a team together. Xiao Lin looked at me suspiciously, "Do you like him?"

I instinctively wanted to deny it, but I couldn't help but blushed first, which was equivalent to asking for trouble.

Xiao Lin reprimanded me in a serious tone: "You and Zhang Han are not the same people. It is impossible for you two. Please stop thinking like this!"

I was a little unconvinced. He retorted: "How can you know if it doesn't work if you don't try it?"

Unable to withstand my insistence, Xiao Lin had to call Zhang Han. The three of us plus the girl Xiao Lin had a crush on, four of us. The team participated in the competition.

Although Zhang Han is very frivolous towards the girls who chase him, he is very serious in his work. He is very smart and has excellent math scores. It is said that he scored 149 points in the college entrance examination math test. Sometimes a few of us get stuck, and Zhang Han can often come up with refreshing opinions from different angles. Our model was originally conceived by Xiao Lin and I. After many revisions, the backbone became Zhang Han. The model also began to follow his train of thought.

As long as we were not in class, we would get together to design models, and Zhang Han and I quickly became familiar with each other. The more I get to know him, the more I like him. That was the closest I got to Zhang Han. Even in the name of friends, we fought side by side. We had differences and arguments, but we compromised with each other and worked with each other until we trusted each other.

When I think of that beautiful memory, I still feel happy.

We won the first prize in the competition without any doubt. It was past ten o'clock in the evening when I returned from the celebration party. Xiao Lin sent the girl back to her dormitory on the East Campus. My dormitory was on the West Campus, and Zhang Han sent me back. When we were approaching the dormitory, he asked me: "Shen Jiaci, do you like me?"

I didn't expect Zhang Han to ask this question frankly and frankly, and looked at him in embarrassment, as if I was caught red-handed doing bad things, and countless thoughts ran through my mind, whether to admit or deny it, but when I saw his sharp eyes, I couldn't say anything.

"Let's be together."

"Ah?" I looked at him in disbelief, "What did you say?"

"Shen Jia Ci, let’s be together.” Zhang Han said.

That’s how I ended up with Zhang Han.

When Xiaolin found out, he was so angry that he scolded me: "Shen Jiaci, your brain was caught in the door? Zhang Han doesn't like you at all, don't you know?"

Of course I do I know Zhang Han doesn't like me.

But I like him, I like him very much, so much that I feel very happy just thinking about being with him when he is frustrated, so much that I don’t care if he likes me or not, as long as I like him, that’s enough.

After hearing what I said, Xiao Lin wanted to scold me a few words, but finally held back and said helplessly: "Zhang Han has always been liked by girls since he was a child. What he doesn't care about the most is girls' sincerity. Follow me. You will not be happy if you are with him."

I didn't listen to Xiao Lin and fell in love with Zhang Han. I do my best to be his girlfriend, help him buy food, do his homework for him, accompany him to self-study, and accompany him to participate in various activities; when he participates in basketball games, I cheer for him from the sidelines; when he is in a bad mood, I I chatted with him at night; he wanted to go out to play, so I skipped school and climbed Mount Tai with him to watch the sunrise.

I tried every possible means to be nice to Zhang Han, dreaming that one day, Zhang Han would be moved by me. When graduation came, he asked me to go for a walk on the playground, and he kissed me at night when the locust flowers were fragrant.

2

This is the first time Zhang Han took the initiative to kiss me.

I was so excited that I didn’t sleep all night. I thought he finally fell in love with me and I didn’t have to worry about us breaking up after graduation. Who knew that a few days later, I accidentally discovered his chat with Xiao Lin. Record.

He said to Xiao Lin: "I'm in pain now. I don't know how to tell her. I tried to like her, but there was no way. If I don't like her, I just don't like her. I can't pretend."< /p>

When I saw the words "If you don't like it, you just don't like it", my heart felt like I had been stabbed several times. When I think that he was faking the kiss that made me so excited that I couldn't sleep, I feel so uncomfortable that I want to cry.

In the chat record with Xiao Lin, Zhang Han also talked about the reason why he was with me: it turned out that after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, a girl who played better with him confessed to him. . He has no shortage of girls to like him, and most of the girls who come to him are just for fun. He knows that he is a scumbag, but scumbag men also have principles - he is not willing to attack the friends around him, especially not to hurt this confidante. In order to cut off the thought of that girl, he chose me in a hurry.

I always thought that Zhang Han was with me because he was heartbroken, but I never thought that I overestimated myself. How can I compare to his ex-girlfriend? I can't even compare to a confidante.

People are always greedy.

When I wasn’t with Zhang Han, I wanted to be with him, even if he didn’t like me. But when I was really with him, I started to be greedy. I not only wanted his person, I also wanted his heart, and I also wanted him to like me, even a little bit.

But I didn’t expect that my liking would be exchanged for his “if I don’t like it, I just don’t like it.”

Xiao Lin is right, Zhang Han has never lacked the love of girls. Even without me, there will be girls like me who like him stupidly, so much that they give up all their dignity.

At that time, I received an interview notice from a company in Beijing. When I submitted my resume, I submitted it in batches and had no intention of going to Beijing. But after I found out Zhang Han's true attitude towards me, I changed my mind. I silently bought a ticket to Beijing and invited Zhang Han out for one last meal.

I have imagined the scene of my last meeting with Zhang Han countless times. I want to curse his cold-bloodedness and ask him how he could treat me like this. Is it my fault that I like him? But when I really saw him, I couldn't say any of those accusations. We finished our meal as usual, and I went to the train station. I sent Zhang Han a breakup message, blocked and deleted all his contact information. I wanted to exit his world quietly. This was my last act of decency.

We met again at Xiaolin’s wedding two years later.

After graduation, Xiaolin returned to City A, and his wedding was held in his hometown. It was already eleven o'clock in the evening when I arrived in City A. I missed the last bus to their village and was worried about how to get there. Unexpectedly, Zhang Han came to pick me up at the station.

He has hardly changed in the past two years and is still handsome and handsome. But I no longer have the astonishment I felt when I first met him. Now that I see him, the first thing I think of is the humiliation brought to me by his words "If I don't like it, I just don't like it." Even though it has been two years, when I think back I still can’t let go of the past.

We exchanged polite greetings like strangers, and the car slowly left the city and drove to more and more remote places. At first, we could still see lonely street lamps standing on the roadside. Even the street lights were no longer visible. Both sides of the road turned into dark mountains, and it was pitch black everywhere. Driving at night like this, the surroundings are extremely quiet, and you can even hear your heartbeat.

“Why did you leave silently?” He suddenly asked me, “You didn’t even give me a buffer. After lunch that day, I received a text message and phone call from you breaking up in the afternoon. I couldn't get through. I wanted to ask your friends, but I found that I didn't know any of your friends except Xiao Lin. It took a lot of effort to find out from Xiao Lin that you went to Beijing. Why don't you like me? Want to break up with me?

“I just can’t figure it out. I want to ask you clearly when you come back for the graduation ceremony. But you didn't come back at all. You even asked your classmates to collect your graduation certificate on your behalf. Do you really want to avoid me, Shen Jiaci? ”

“What other reasons can there be for breaking up? Just break up if you don’t like it anymore and if you don’t have any feelings.

I replied calmly, "Zhang Han, it's you who said you don't like me. If you don't like me, you just don't like me. You can't force me." Me too. "

Zhang Han was silent for a moment and said with a wry smile: "So you know about the conversation between Xiao Lin and I." "

I remained silent.

"I'm sorry. ”

“It’s been so long, you don’t need to apologize, I’ve let it go a long time ago. ”

“I used to be too self-righteous. There are so many girls who like it, and I don't care about your likes. On the contrary, I resent your liking. The more you like me, the more pressure I feel and the more I want to escape. So, I overlooked something. ”

I laughed self-deprecatingly: “Zhang Han, forget it.” We've already broken up, and it would be pointless to talk about it again. "

"Shen Jiaci, if I say I like you, can you still give me a chance? "He suddenly stopped the car and turned to look at me. We were surrounded by the dark night, and the car lights were like scissors cutting through the darkness, cutting through the thick night around us. In the dim light, I saw a seriousness in his brown eyes that I had never seen before, "Shen Jiaci, I love you. Come with me! "

I looked at him and thought it was funny, "Zhang Han, are you kidding me? ”

“I’m serious. Before we broke up, before I even realized it, I fell in love with you. At that time, your presence affected my mood more and more. That time on the playground, I couldn't help myself and kissed you. I hate this feeling of losing control. I don’t want to be influenced by you, so I told Xiaolin that I don’t like you. I’m lying to myself by saying these things. I didn't expect you to see that. ”

After attending Xiao Lin’s wedding, I returned to Beijing. Zhang Han began to chase me to make up for his two-year late relationship. I don’t want to admit that even in the two years I was separated from him, even if I I tried my best to treat him as an irrelevant stranger, but I still loved him, so much that I hated myself for being so mean, but I couldn't control myself.

On New Year's Eve, he came to Beijing to celebrate the New Year with me. A year later, Zhang Han and I got back together.

In the game of love, whoever falls in love first will lose, just like my love with Zhang Han, even if he later falls in love. He fell in love with me, but I always felt an indescribable inferiority complex around him. He was good-looking, smart, excellent, capable, and charming. In the two years since I broke up, there were no girls chasing him. All of this put more pressure on me who already had low self-esteem.

Just like his abnormal behavior of posting photos on Weibo and the one called "Little Deer Slowly". Girl, it gave me a conditioned sense of crisis. By some strange coincidence, I clicked on the Weibo post of "Little Deer".

I only saw one post on Weibo. Taking a selfie, my heart tightened.

The real name of "Little Deer" is Deng Man, Zhang Han's former confidante.

3

After getting back together with Zhang Han, I could feel that he was indeed different from before. He learned to take care of my emotions and tried to love me. I felt his sincerity, but I didn't expect that he would show up at this time. Confidante.

He confessed to me his relationship with Deng Man. They were fellow villagers and met on the train home. The two of them were sitting next to each other and Zhang Han helped Deng Man put his suitcase. During the conversation, they discovered that they were studying at the same university, and they exchanged contact information after getting off the bus. When they returned to school, they actually bought tickets for the same bus. Later, they gradually became familiar with each other. Good friends, until Deng Man confessed to Zhang Han.

Looking at the messages between Deng Man and Zhang Han on Weibo, it seems that he is very close to Zhang Han, but Zhang Han never told me that he and Deng Man were still together. There is a connection.

I can't help but worry. I'm afraid that Deng Man is still more important to Zhang Han than me. After all, Zhang Han chose to be with me to "protect" her; I'm also afraid of Deng Man. Man still likes Zhang Han. If I am not with Zhang Han, she will take advantage of her.

I called Xiao Lin and asked him if he knew about Deng Man. Xiao Lin and Zhang Han were both in City A. Xiao Lin worked in a bank and they were colleagues. Xiao Lin said seriously: "Deng Man came to work in our bank last month and was in the same department as Zhang Han. ”

“But now is not the time for bank recruitment. Can non-fresh graduates also apply for banks?” "I asked doubtfully.

Xiao Lin sneered: "Deng Man's father is the president, so there is no problem in arranging his daughter to join the bank. Deng Man didn't come to the bank to make money. How could the bank's salary be enough for her? She comes to work just to kill time. I think she is interested in Zhang Han. "

"Then they had no contact before? "If Deng Man likes Zhang Han and they are in the same city, why are they reconnecting now?

"After graduating from college, Deng Man went abroad with her ex-boyfriend. Just came back this year. "

"Ex-boyfriend? I was surprised, "Don't Deng Man like Zhang Han?" Where is another ex-boyfriend? "

"Why can't she have an ex-boyfriend? When you meet the right person, try everything. Could it be that if Zhang Han didn't accept her, she would have to wait for Zhang Han all her life? Xiao Lin asked me, "What do you think she likes about Zhang Han?" Women like her are shrewd. Zhang Han's family conditions are so good, and he looks like a spoiled pretty boy. What woman wouldn't like it? Such a man is a hot commodity in City A no matter what.

Even if he is married, women will continue to pounce on him, not to mention that he is not married yet. "

Xiao Lin warned me: "Such women have no morals. They will definitely try their best to get the man they like, no matter whether he has a girlfriend or not! If she misses Zhang Han, she may not be able to find a man with better conditions than Zhang Han. The man who is richer than him is not as good-looking as him, and the man who is better-looking than him is not as rich as his family..." Xiao Lin hung up the phone meaningfully. < /p>

Zhang Han’s family is very rich, which I only found out after I got back together with him. When I was in college, few people would consider such hardware as family conditions, but when it came time to find a marriage partner, my family had a lot of money. Being able to afford a house is a very important condition if you don't have money. Zhang Han's mother is an executive of a securities company, and his father is in the furniture business and also runs a factory. It is said that their family has five houses in City A, three of them. If you rent a house for rent, the monthly rent you receive is more than what most hard-working white-collar workers earn.

As Xiao Lin said, Zhang Han's family situation alone makes him the most competitive among women. What’s more, he has a face that looks like a kept pretty boy.

Zhang Han didn’t like long-distance relationships and asked me to leave Beijing and go to City A several times. Reunion with him. I also want to go there as soon as possible. After graduation, I have been working as a data analyst. I browse the recruitment information for related occupations in City A. There is always only one page of recruitment information, and there are about seven or eight recruitment information. I look at the data analysis of these companies. According to the job description of the teacher, I knew that these jobs were not reliable. I was afraid that I would not be able to find a job after returning to City A.

Now that Deng Man’s appearance is a huge crisis, I can’t. If I hesitated again, I had to rush back as soon as possible.

I immediately asked my boss to resign. He refused to let me go. He called me to the office several times to have a heart-to-heart talk and asked me to increase my salary and ask me to help him again. Year, "You have been following the project of Company M in the United States. If you are leaving, who should I look for to replace you?" This is our big customer! There is also the commission on this order, you can make a lot of money. You also know the company's rules. You must pay the customer in full before you can get the commission. When they pay the money at the end of the year, you can take the commission before leaving! In addition to the year-end bonus, I will give you one more month’s salary! ”

To be honest, my boss has always been kind to me since I joined this company. He almost single-handedly cultivated me. I know that it would be unfair to resign at this juncture. But when I think of Deng Man Staring at Zhang Han eagerly, I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles. I couldn't care about anything, so I refused the boss's kindness and insisted on returning to City A.

After returning to City A, Zhang Han refused to let me rent an apartment. , I moved into the house his parents bought for him. He works on Financial Street in City A, which is one of the most prosperous streets in City A. Their family has a high-end apartment nearby. You can see the sea. They originally lived together as a family. After I arrived in City A, Zhang Han moved out of his home and moved to another house just to live with me in his spare time. All over City A, we were like a newly married couple, we were sweet and sweet together all day long, and sometimes we would even kiss each other while cooking in the kitchen.

But I always had sex when I stayed at his house. I have a feeling of fear, even if there are only two of us in the family, I know that their family is rich, but now their family is so rich that it scares me. The richer their family is, the more humble I am. I can see the huge gap between the two of us. This gap is a problem that we didn't notice in college or even when we were in a long-distance relationship.

I hate this feeling, in order to get rid of this feeling of powerlessness. , I took the time to find a job. Those companies always recruit data analysts in City A, but they never seem to recruit data analysts. I submitted my resume to these companies and received interview notices from three companies.

I went for an interview and found out that two companies are scammers. They recruit for all positions and trick people into paying money for training at their company. The other company recruits so-called data analysts, but they actually recruit people for all positions. The cargo information was entered into an Excel spreadsheet. I didn’t expect that there were not many companies in City A with a GDP of hundreds of billions that needed data analysts, so how did its economy develop?

" , finance, and it is a tourist city. "Zhang Han answered me leisurely. He doesn't understand my anxiety about being unemployed at all. He has a family to support him. Even if his salary is not enough, he can calmly comfort me and let me not worry about working. He can support me. .

“Or you can try to change careers? "He gave me advice.

"But I don't know anything except data analysis. Where can I change my career? Which company wants me? "I'm a little embarrassed.

"I have a friend who has opened a studio. He does photography and shoots various promotional videos. Do you want to try it? "

Do you want to take photos? I'm a little tempted. When I was in college, I participated in the Photography Association and learned a little knowledge about photography. If I change my career, it would be a good choice. I asked Zhang Han to help me submit I received my resume.

The other party quickly invited me for an interview. Zhang Han said hello that there would be no problem in hiring me. The interview mainly focused on my salary, and my boss, Brother Zhang, offered me an interview. The salary is not high, the probation period is only 2,800 yuan, and the probation period is three months, and the salary after becoming a regular employee is 3,033 yuan, which is a fraction of what I made in Beijing.

But I understand that I am a newcomer in this industry. Everything is starting from scratch. I am not qualified to make a counter-offer. What's more, the other party hired me because of Zhang Han's face. I should be self-aware.

The job is done. Although the little money I earn is not enough to pay the rent of the house where Zhang Han lives now, it is still a new beginning. I can support myself, which gives me a little peace of mind.

Zhang Han took me to a party with his friends. I met Deng Man several times. She was very kind and polite to me. She also played well with Zhang Han and was not like Xiao Lin. He deliberately planned to take Zhang Han away. What makes me even more reassured is that Zhang Han does regard Deng Man as a buddy. He loves me. I can find the answer from the look in his eyes. It feels like he will not lie. Slowly, I felt relieved and lived a happy life with Zhang Han.

But I am too naive after all. People who are polite to you may not be plotting against you behind their backs. Deng Man was gentle and polite to me on the surface, but I had already fallen into her palm without even realizing it.

(Title of work: "The Defense of Love", author: Bai Yujing.

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