"What you don't have"-Life elsewhere

The title "Wade once had" comes from the first volume of Shurangama Sutra: "Zhong Qing, the watchful eye, Wade once had". It means "never before, never after". It is Anne Baby's first work and prose collection after she changed her name to Qingshan. It is a record of interviewing a picky chef, a photographer who returned to China, a Tibetan monk who ran away from home, and a Guqin teacher who was over eighty years old. All the records are eloquent, and there is no gorgeous rhetoric and intense emotion in previous works. It's like sitting alone, quietly watching a slow-paced life documentary. Without exception, they all follow their own inner guidance and strive to be close to the most authentic life.

Chef Liu Hanlin said, 10 million is alive, 1 0 million is alive,10 million is alive,10 million is alive. You see, this is actually the truth of life. People's material desires are endless, and few people can stay somewhere. But 10 million people have 10 million lives and 10,000 people have 10,000 lives. We will not say that 10 million lives are necessarily better than 10,000 lives, nor will we say that 10,000 lives are less troublesome than 10 million lives. If we can adjust ourselves to the present, we will all see different beautiful scenery. The best love I have ever seen comes from my aunt and uncle. They have lived in the country all their lives and have never traveled. My uncle has been to some distant cities for work, and my aunt's only trip was to attend my cousin's wedding in Chongqing, and I stopped by my home in Chengdu for two days. But I will always remember my aunt asking me why I suddenly put on exaggerated gold earrings, necklaces and rings. She said with a reproachful face, my little uncle works outside, but he secretly saves money from her every month and keeps it for a long time. He bought these useless things back for her, saying that he couldn't give her anything when he got married, and now he is making it up for her. At that time, Xiao Yan and Xiao Shu had been married for more than 20 years. Recently, my uncle forwarded a video of my aunt and friends in her family singing in KTV. He drinks at home alone. We teased him about why he didn't go with us. My voice is actually a little choked up. My little uncle said that my aunt had been with him for so many years. Let her have a good time when she goes out to play with her friends for the first time. Probably because of drinking wine, some slightly drunk little uncles also said that they still miss her a little at the moment. I can't help crying through the screen of my mobile phone. They had been married for more than 30 years at that time. I don't have much money, but I envy such feelings.

Photographer Wei Bi said that many people will not be happy from the inside out. It can be said that God did not give him this blessing. They enjoy a heated swimming pool, expensive Porsche and live in the eyes of others. He took his wife and children back to his hometown to live, not in clothes, but in a simple life. Occasionally, I still have to worry about my livelihood, but it is a luxury for many people to eat my original seasonal vegetables every day. There is not so much pressure to face, and there are even few places to spend money. Many people always think that they need a lot of money to qualify for that kind of life, but it is not. In fact, as long as you can put a house or even just a car in the city, you can live those simple and simple lives as soon as you turn around. I just can't let it go. A few years ago, my uncle in the country built a new four-story building, and the old house with attic began to be idle for a long time. The house is not big, and there are yards in front and back. There is a hydraulic well in the front yard and a vegetable field in the back yard. In front of the house is the river where my uncle took me fishing every summer when I was a child. One year during the Spring Festival, it was a pity that this old house, which carried too many childhood memories, was empty. My uncle said I would give tens of thousands of dollars if I wanted it. I'm not kidding. I really want it, but I can't let it go. It's just that no one wants to live that life with me, otherwise it's okay.

Tibetan monk Sangji Gyatso recorded his life on the Weibo. He paints, photographs, writes, travels, listens to jazz, and follows the American drama The Walking Dead on the computer ... If it weren't for the red frock he has been wearing, it would be easy to forget that he was an excellent monk who became a monk at the age of 12, and has been a monk for 12 years. How good is it? A top student who deserves a scholarship in his studies. He said, wherever I go, there is my world. Because I think every day is different. A small town and a small monastery can give me a lot, which is enough for me. The bigger place is just a concept, which only exists in imagination. My world can be like this. It gave me a lot. If I leave, I may lose more. Usually it's just people themselves. No matter how big the scope is, it is still limited to what you see with your own thoughts and eyes, and there won't be much difference. He is mature, steady and wise, beyond his years.

Mr. Ye, an 84-year-old teacher who plays guqin, started playing guqin at the age of 14, and is still instructing students to play it. When I was old, my energy was poor, so I didn't say much. When I met for the first time, I finished the story for half my life. I think that if a person can master a skill and love it all his life, he will probably never be lonely all his life.

I was chatting with someone not long ago, and the other person asked me to try to imagine and describe the life I want to live in the future. I'm a little speechless. You know, it's been many years, and it's almost the whole of life to stop thinking about the future and try to live every day in the present. I know that I can't grasp the tomorrow full of all kinds of accidents and bizarre variables, and I am afraid that I will be disappointed, so I simply put down my expectations. But I still sent him the life described by Annie Baby: "In a few years, I will go with you to live in a sparsely populated town below the mountain. Climb to the top of the high mountain in the morning and go down to the market to buy vegetables and fruits. Cook and clean. Read in the afternoon. Drink and chat under the apricot tree at night until the moonlight is cool. In my dream, I went to the empty valley, where Pteris pteridoptera was lush and the birds sang crisp, and I slept under the tree together. When I wake up, I am young and you are not old. " I said, this scene is really beautiful. He said it was an ideal scene. What about real life? I am still speechless. It was not until I finished reading this book that I thought that returning to the countryside and living the simplest and most natural life was the life I wanted to live in the future. It's just, I'm not sure I can make it

Some people say that I have always lived the life I want. But actually, I'm not sure Did I choose this life on my own initiative, or did this life choose me? But I don't want to think about this joint carefully, just as I don't want to presuppose how I will live in the future. I am more and more accustomed to focusing on the present, focusing on the present, and letting many things happen and advance naturally. I don't like things that are too deliberate, and I don't like the contents of vows and promises. I won't say what will happen to me in the future, I will only say what will happen to me now. Many people always think that they will live for a long time, have a lot of time, have a lot of beautiful things for the future, and even feel that they have the ability to grasp the unknown future. They refuse to admit that life is short and impermanence is the norm. You see, the national idol collapsed; Popular anchors fall instantly; The landlord refused to refund the deposit, so that a pair of parents lost their daughter who went to college; A 23-year-old girl was walking on her way to work and mysteriously disappeared. Goodbye is a cold corpse ... The hot news that emerges endlessly every day on the Internet always reminds me to cherish every moment so that there won't be so many sudden regrets. But there should still be some yearning. Those lives in other places depict real and happy life scenes for us, which will bring a positive guidance and hint to our hearts and gradually approach those directions in the process of trying to live the present.

Never before, never after. Stick to our original wishes and remember our mission.