What is fatigue?

Supernova explosion makes people feel very painful, because successful people find that their chosen career can no longer bring them psychological satisfaction, and even threaten their self-esteem. People always say that it is the age of money worship. In fact, this statement is biased. Many successful people in the workplace, both men and women, will have the impulse to "escape from here and now" after years of hard work. I have met some successful managers who have been in high positions for many years, but they are eager for me to help them open golden handcuffs. Some experts and scholars would rather give up enviable positions than escape from boring life; Some stars in the performing arts, such as athletes, musicians and actors, are all smiling at the cheers of the audience, but they just want to say "goodbye" in their hearts.

After reaching the peak of life from scratch, a person suddenly experienced a free-fall rout and finally committed suicide because of demons. There are many such legends, such as Freddie Prinze Jr., a Hollywood comedian in 1970s, Vince Foster, a former White House consultant, Robert Maxwell, a media tycoon, and David Bergman, an American producer. However, their psychological problems are not what I call fatigue. According to my research for more than 20 years, fatigue is often caused by constant trivial matters, and the symptoms are mostly "anxiety before success and burnout after success", that is, you strive to achieve your goals and expect your life to improve, but the results are not as you wish.

This situation is worse than not achieving the goal, only to find that it has not brought about the expected change after achieving the goal. In the face of failure, you can always go back to the starting point and "try again", which will motivate you to move on. But in the face of success, you can only ask yourself, "Is that it?" There is no second chance to start over. We always expect too much from success, so we are often disappointed.

Why are many successful people alcoholics? Many years ago, I was under the legal age to enter bars, but drinking had a profound impact on me. At that time, I was fifteen. For boys of that age, the best way to get together and get drunk on weekends without partners is to escape loneliness. One night, I drank too many cocktails and felt dizzy. I stumbled home and woke my father. My father gave me advice in a stern but caring tone: "Son, I hope you do more useful things." You know, only lazy people get drunk; Only people who have no job and can't take care of their families will get drunk. I hope you will become a successful and contributing person. Did you hear that? Don't be an idle person. 」

I will never forget what my father said that day, because I became angry from embarrassment and kept thinking that his sentence "Only idle people get drunk" must be wrong. But out of love and respect for him, I believe there must be some truth in what he said, but I beg to differ, because according to my own observation, some people who are not "idle" often get drunk. Before I decided to study the causes of successful people's alcoholism, I came across two more extreme cases, which made me believe that there is a strange relationship between success and alcoholism. The first case happened at a wedding and bar mitzvah ceremony near Long Island, new york, USA.

If you have no idea about the luxurious life on the south shore of Long Island, let me describe the gathering scene of American upper class: In addition to the six-course dinner and unlimited drinks for adults, the adult ceremony will also prepare many other entertainment programs for minors and their friends, such as pinball machines, rock bands, cartoon characters, clowns and magicians. Some even invite belly dancers to perform. Weddings are even more exaggerated: there are usually two dozen long-stemmed roses in the middle of the table, and many orchestras or orchestral performances are commonplace, just like couples and their families often change clothes. It sounds strange to have a cameraman and a photographer shooting at the same time. They also invited sketch artists and fortune tellers.

It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that the people who participated in these carnival feasts were not the so-called "idle people". To put it mildly, many of them are local elites. The way they celebrate this kind of thing is to get drunk. In the past five years, I have attended many high-end cocktail parties because of my work, and I have seen more than a dozen men in suits and ties fighting, and I have also seen many well-dressed couples make a scene in public. I used to talk to some alcoholics regularly, but it was not until I was a graduate student that I realized that talking with these people became the theoretical basis of my research on "successful people prefer substance abuse"