"Not afraid of the clouds covering her eyes": It turns out that he has never been in her world...

Zhou Yang saw An Nan again eight years later, at his wedding.

An Nan has lost weight and become darker, but she is still full of energy. She had short hair, a short blue windbreaker, jeans, and white casual shoes. The simple matching always made her look very decent and generous. She always knew what was best for her.

She came in through the glass revolving door, stood in front of the hotel sign and took a look, stroking her slanted bangs with her hands. She looked up again and saw Zhou Yang and his bride, so she smiled. Zhou Yang's smile is what Zhou Yang likes to see the most. When she smiles, the flowers bloom.

An Nan stood in front of the newlyweds, stretched out his hand to shake Zhou Yang's hand, and hugged the bride politely, saying, "Zhou Yang, congratulations, I can attend your wedding. Very happy. ”

I am very happy.

With four simple words, Zhou Yang was thrown into the tunnel of time and space, back to the summer night when he was sixteen years old, in the evening self-study classroom of class one (fifth) of high school.

The weather was extremely hot that day. Even if I sat still during the day, I would sweat like a sauna. In the evening, dark clouds began to gather, and the wind blew from the southeast. The papers on the desk were blown to the ground. Zhou Yang pressed them with his hands, only holding down the yellow leather English notebook. He borrowed this book from An Nan. When he opened the first page, there was a poem written on it: "I am not afraid of the floating clouds covering my eyes, just because I am at the highest level."

People often say that words are like the person they are, An Nan Nan's handwriting is very tough and somewhat heroic. But in Zhou Yang's eyes, An Nan is just a gentle girl next door, quiet, hard-working, down-to-earth, and has nothing to do with heroism.

"Zhang Laocai" bent down to pick up Zhou Yang's paper and asked; "Yangzi, are you sure you are applying for science and you won't change it?" Zhou Yang subconsciously looked up at the empty seat on the right side of the third row. He said calmly: "What should I change? What's the point of learning from those things that have been memorized over and over again?"

Outside the window, strong winds began to blow, lightning and thunder thundered. Zhou Yang stood up and closed the window. He saw An Nan leaving the school. She ran in from the door, the lightning flashed her face, and the wind blew her ponytail away. She covered her forehead with one hand and held her schoolbag in the other, still calm in her embarrassment. This picture suddenly reminded Zhou Yang of Gorky's famous poem "Petrel": "Between the dark clouds and the sea, the petrel is like black lightning, flying proudly."

An Nan stepped on the class bell. After entering the classroom, she stood in front of her seat, took out a tissue from her pocket and wiped her face, then folded it up and wiped the stool and table. She walked to the last row of trash cans in the classroom and threw the paper in. When she returned to her seat, Zhou Yang stopped her: "An Nan, your notes."

She took it and smiled. .

Before she raised her legs, Zhou Yang said again: "There are two places in the notes that I don't understand very well. I'll see you after class."

She responded. "Zhang Laocai" coughed and coughed loudly. When Zhou Yang saw An Nan sitting back in his seat, he kicked "Zhang Laocai" severely under the table. "Zhang Laocai" jumped up and saw that Zhou Yang's face was angry. I thought, I couldn't bear it and said no more.

The head teacher entered the classroom half an hour before get out of class ended. He asked: "Have everyone filled out the registration forms for liberal arts and sciences? Raise your hands and let me see how many people applied for liberal arts. Fill out the liberal arts registration form." Classmate, I will transfer to Class 6 at the beginning of next semester."

When Zhou Yang saw An Nan raise his hand, his heart fell into a bottomless well.

After class, the students left the classroom one after another. An Nan looked back and glanced at Zhou Yang. Zhou Yang walked to An Nan's seat dejectedly, carrying his schoolbag; "Why did you apply for the liberal arts department?" An Nan's grades were among the middle in the class. Top-notch, liberal arts and science scores are relatively balanced. Generally speaking, such students will focus on science, after all, science has a wider range of subjects and is easier to find a job.

An Nan said: "There is no reason why? Compared with liberal arts and science, I prefer liberal arts."

Zhou Yang was silent for a long time. After seeing that everyone in the classroom had finished, he asked An Nan Nan whispered: "I like you." After he finished speaking, he did not dare to look at An Nan's face. He stared at his feet. He found that the shoelace of his right foot was a little loose.

Zhou Yang confessed his love for the first time in his life, which made him feel like he was on the execution ground. Time passed by, and the surroundings were very quiet, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Just when he was about to pick up his schoolbag and escape, An Nan spoke. She only said four words: "I'm very sad." Happy."

To this day, when Zhou Yang heard An Nan say "I'm very happy" at his wedding, he still had a flash of confusion. Did she agree at the time? Sixteen-year-old Zhou Yang didn't have the courage to ask.

An Nan sat at the table with his high school classmates, and "Zhang Laocai" stood up diligently and poured An Nan a drink. Zhou Yang's thoughts were interrupted by congratulations from relatives and friends.

The wedding proceeds in an orderly manner according to the process, exchanging rings, drinking glasses of wine, paying homage to both parents, receiving red envelopes, and the newlyweds sitting around the table to toast.

When Zhou Yang came to An Nan's table, he heard a classmate ask An Nan: "I heard that you are the general counsel of a Fortune 500 company, with an annual salary of no less than one million?"

An Nan smiled and said: "I resigned two years ago.

"

The classmate asked again: "Then where are you now? ”

An Nan said: “After I resigned, I traveled around and went to Shangri-La. I saw that the children there were very cute, so I stayed to teach for a year and a half. I just came back a week ago. As for where to go to high school? Still thinking about it. "

The classmate said: "You live a really free and easy life. Your husband tolerates you like this. You must be very happy." "

An Nan said; "I'm not married yet. "The atmosphere on the table was a little subtle for a moment.

"Zhang Laocai" saw Zhou Yang and the bride coming over, stood up first, held a glass of wine and said: "Sister-in-law, Yangzi finally has a master, I am happy. , one goes first. ”

Zhou Yang looked at An Nan. She was holding a piece of cucumber in her mouth. She didn’t feel any embarrassment in her aura. A woman was thirty years old, had no job, no husband, and no children. In the eyes of everyone, they are older leftover women. People’s views on leftover women are not exactly the same, but they have one thing in common: “This woman is very unhappy now. "

After toasting the wine to An Nan, Zhou Yang introduced to his wife: "This is my 'female buddy' - An Nan. Everyone at the table laughed. "Zhang Laocai" said, "Zhou Yang, you can just be An Nan's best friend. Why do you call a quiet, soft and weak girl your buddy?" ”

Zhou Yang also laughed. The An Nan he knew said that being quiet was okay, but when it came to being weak, there was a huge difference.

Zhou Yang still remembered, After that stormy night, An Nan treated him as usual, as if nothing had happened. She would say hello when he met him, lend him notes if he wanted to borrow them, and actively discuss with him any study problems, without any awkwardness or shyness. , without deliberately avoiding it, Zhou Yang often looked at the back of the figure sitting on the right side of the third row and asked himself over and over again, was that night just a traceless erotic dream I had?

Later? An Nan transferred to the liberal arts class, and his studies became more and more intense. Zhou Yang's first love withered before it bloomed.

When he was filling out his application form for senior high school, he heard from his classmates in An Nan's class that An Nan was not good enough. As soon as he applied for the law department of "T University", he also filled in "T University" in his second choice. By some chance, they met again in the university. Many things happened so naturally. He and An Nan went to self-study together. , eat together, go shopping together, An Nan and his roommates all think that they are boyfriend and girlfriend, An Nan neither admits nor denies it, but just interacts with him in a gentle manner, and has never said anything about being intimate in private.

In his second year of college, he couldn't help it anymore and asked straight to the point: "An Nan, are you my girlfriend? "

An Nan thought for a while and replied carefully: "I am your female friend. "

He turned around and left. In the second half of his sophomore year, he dated a girlfriend from the foreign language department. In his junior year, he dated a girlfriend from the chemistry department. In his senior year, he made a girlfriend from the art department from a foreign school. Apart from him, Annan was not close to anyone during college. Apart from attending classes, she was an intern at a law firm. When she graduated, she participated in an inter-school college debate competition and won the title of National Outstanding Debater. She relied on this award to succeed. Entering a Fortune 500 company.

The sun was shining brightly on the day they took their graduation portrait. He took An Nan’s hand, pulled her under the shade of a tree, and asked again: " An Nan, have you ever liked me?

An Nan took out a tissue, watched him wipe the sweat from his forehead, and said slowly: "If I don't like you, why do I go to study hall, eat together, and go shopping with you?" "

Zhou Yang was petrified there. He didn't know what to say for a moment. He felt that he had missed something, but he didn't seem to have missed anything.

An Nan continued: "Zhou Yang, I Although I like you, I also know clearly that we are not suitable and becoming friends is the best distance between us. "

Zhou Yang swallowed and said, "You haven't tried it, how do you know it's not suitable? ”

An Nan said: “Some things don’t need to be tried, just observe. You are a person with a strong desire for control. You are decisive, enterprising, responsible, and team-minded. You are very suitable for the moment.” society. And I am a more self-centered person and don't like to be restrained. If we are together and the sweet time passes, there will only be quarrels. ”

At that time, Zhou Yang did not agree with what An Nan said, but many years later, Zhou Yang had to admit that this woman’s foresight was beyond the reach of ordinary people. He would also think of the words in An Nan’s notebook: “Be fearless.” Floating clouds cover my eyes, just because I am at the highest level. "Over the years, this little woman has been climbing high. She is not pursuing fame and fortune in the eyes of the world, but climbing on a spiritual level and has never stopped.

When Zhou Yang finished his toast, he turned around and left , I heard an enthusiastic female classmate say to An Nan: "There is a gay man in our unit, he is not bad, I will introduce him to you another day. "

An Nan said: "Okay. "Neither refused nor enthusiastic.

A smile flashed across the corner of Zhou Yang's mouth. He didn't know why he was smiling. He was laughing at the female classmate who didn't understand An Nan, but he was still laughing at himself. An Nan is A person who never needs anyone to arrange her life. She always knows what she wants and when to do it. Her seemingly gentle appearance hides an extremely strong heart.

He remembered that one afternoon three years ago, he called An Nan to consult about a legal matter. He heard bursts of noise coming from An Nan’s mobile phone, which seemed to be the sound of wind. He Ask her what she is doing?

An Nan said happily: "I'm preparing to skydive. I'll call you back later." After hanging up the phone, he looked at his large, birdcage-like office and finally understood that An Nan It had already flown out of his sight. When he was still relying on his system and hard work to climb to the mountain recognized by the world, An Nan was already flying above the clouds, watching the storm with a smile.

Two years later, he heard someone say that An Nan got married. Her husband had a good family background and was a photographer. The couple traveled all over the world, and their most recent trip was to Antarctica. A classmate sent a photo of them in Antarctica to the WeChat group. The two were tightly wrapped from head to toe, and even wore big sunglasses on their eyes. An Nan's expression could not be seen, but Zhou Yang knew that she was smiling. , and smiled brightly. An Nan and her husband made a big "heart" with their arms, and a group of little penguins were running in the heart with short legs.

Some classmates in the group said: "An Nan has a good life. He will marry whenever he wants. When he is thirty, he can still find a rich second generation."

Another classmate answered. : "I don't know what An Nan is thinking? You are still running around the world at the age of thirty-two, why don't you take advantage of your youth to have a baby as soon as possible?"

In two years, An Nan is alive again Become a successful person in the eyes of everyone.

Zhou Yang closed WeChat and looked out the window. The blue sky and white clouds, where is that woman now? What would happen if she saw the advice given to her by her classmates?

She must have said: "I know, thank you."

But how has she ever lived a day in accordance with other people's requirements? Her happiness is not that she has a good destiny, but that she has always had a direction, knows what she is suitable for, and knows what she wants. If the world is like clouds, she is the one standing on the top of the clouds.

Postscript: After turning off the lights last night, I couldn't sleep for a while, so I said to the girl: "You give me a question, and I will write you a story." The girl said: "I like the phrase 'No' recently. Is it okay to be afraid of clouds and just because I am at the top?" I said yes, and the girl added, "It should not be too inspirational if it is about love." I asked, "Why should I write about love?" The girl said: "My classmate writes a love novel. It's so funny. Two people fall in love as soon as they say they love each other. There is no step-by-step process. I just want to know how to write a love novel?" I would like to send this article to the girl who is about to enter puberty. I hope One day she will be able to live her life freely, climb to spiritual heights, and not be afraid of clouds covering her eyes.