3. Despair and Beauty

"Beauty is the only victory that human beings can achieve when they are desperate."

(This sentence should come from the anime "The Girl's Terminal Travel". When I hear it for the first time, I always feel a shocking power. )

The doctor tells you that you still have about a year.

I watched the accumulated vacation of N hours because of frequent headaches recently. As soon as I gritted my teeth, I went to grind with my boss for a long time and asked for leave to have a check-up. I didn't expect the exam result to be like this, as if a "grand prize" hit you on the head and made you want to vomit. Yes, you really threw up.

It was hard for you to accept at first, but then you went to several hospitals and the results were the same. You have been optimistic and confident, adjust yourself and slowly accept this result. After thinking about it, I told my parents the result. The crying on the other end of the phone makes you cry again.

Calm down and start preparing for the next thing. You made yourself a list:

1. Resign

Step 2 go home

Back to the company, the boss was dissatisfied with your frequent leave of absence these days and wanted to talk to you. You submitted your resignation letter. You told the boss the truth, and the sympathy in his eyes made you feel bad. The resignation procedure was done quickly, and no one noticed your departure except a few colleagues around you. But what you don't know is that after you left, companies were all over you. You become what they call someone. "Hey, you know what? XX in XX department got sick and left his job. Alas, life is precious and everything is thrown away. "

You're on your way home. Speaking of which, this is the first time you have slowed down and enjoyed the scenery along the way. The dark mountains and misty clouds in the distance make you novel. You think to yourself, if you can travel all over this great river and mountain in your lifetime, then this life will not be wasted. When you get home, your parents' red eyes make your nose sour again. You fought back your tears and said, "I'm back." I have to stay this time. "

Time will dilute many things, but it will also leave indelible memories. Under your strong persuasion, my parents returned to normal working life. You are relieved. Their constant concern for you makes you breathless. A month passed in a flash. Your life is calm and comfortable except for the headache that gets worse every now and then. During the day, if the weather is good, I will go shopping downstairs; On rainy days, you stay at home and watch TV. I chatted with my parents about my old life in the evening. What I used to find hard to stick to at work can now be told to my parents like a joke. So, everything will pass.

One day, you go to the dance class opposite your home, where only a few little girls are practicing basic skills. This is also the place where you reported to work when you were a child. You are shocked when you look at it: the dance class is still open. Suddenly someone called your name, and you turned to look. The teacher who took this class before still teaches in this class. She was obviously surprised to see you, too. She came forward to hold your hand and asked how you were doing. You said with a smile that you just came back from a holiday to play. The teacher dragged you in and introduced you to the children inside. "This young lady is a former student of the teacher, and dancing is very beautiful." You are a little shy, waving again and again.

You were not in good health when you were a child. Your father said he would give you a martial arts class to keep fit, but your mother didn't agree. Mother thinks dancing is more suitable for girls. Finally, you start your class in a dance class not far from home. You are not tall, but you are flexible. The teacher always praises your parents and says that you dance well. Unlike most children, you really like dancing. When you dance, you can always feel the wind flowing. The wind blows through your body, and you feel intoxicating happiness. However, the original intention of parents is not to train dancers. After entering junior high school, your parents cut the dance class in order to make you concentrate on your study. Although you don't want to, you can't resist.

You are also very happy to see the teacher after many years. You sat there all afternoon and saw that all the children were picked up by their parents, so you reluctantly said goodbye to the teacher and went home. At dinner, you share the day with your parents happily. You also said that the teacher asked you to do a few actions and found that you still had some basic skills, which made you happy like a child. Parents are playing, why don't you go to class? You say it right away. I am so embarrassed. They are all children.

Parents don't know that their unintentional words make you sleepless. That night, you thought for a long time. In the morning, your parents looked at your haggard and pale face and carefully asked if you were uncomfortable. You look at your parents' faces as if they were much older. You said to them: "I will continue to dance, I will dance in mountains, deserts, grasslands and snow!" " "My parents were shocked and asked you again in disbelief. You repeat your thoughts, and your eyes shine. Parents are silent, and then say to you, I hope you think again. You know, they are worried about your health. You said, "If my destination is one year later, I hope to do something. "Parents compromised, and you added a new item to the list:

3. Go dancing.

In the afternoon, you go to see your teacher and tell her your situation and your next plan. I hope the teacher can help you continue to learn dance. The teacher held you for a long time and cried bitterly. Instead of discouraging you, she insisted that she hoped to realize your idea with you. She said to you, "I hope to see you dance to the last moment without regrets."

The next day passed quickly, and you were busy with your next plan. Go to dance class during the day, and the teacher makes up a dance for you, so you can practice it to your heart's content. The occasional headache during dancing can also be ignored, but it will double back in the dead of night. Tell your parents your feelings, your thoughts and your imagination of the future in the evening. You know you may fall down some road in the future, so you cherish getting along with your parents more.

Plenty of time always passes quickly, and it will start soon. You have made a plan, the first stop is desert, the second stop is snow mountain, and the third stop is grassland. At first, your plan met with opposition. At first, the desert snow mountain was too dangerous. You said to go where you want to go first while you are in good spirits. It's really a pity if we can't make it. They look at you and don't know how to refute it.

On the day of departure, the weather was fine. The sun shines on everyone's face, and the atmosphere of parting seems a little lighter. My parents wanted to follow, but you strongly opposed it. You are selfish and let you stay in their hearts like this. They thought it might be a farewell. Mom choked and held your hand for a long time, urging you to remember to give them videos every day. Father said with red eyes, see you later. The teacher and her lover, Li Shu, stood by and counted the luggage. Uncle Li is a photographer. He often shoots outdoors. When he heard your idea, he insisted on participating. You are very grateful to the teacher's family for joining us. When the bus started, you looked at your parents who had been shaking their arms outside the window and couldn't help but turn around and cry. The teacher hugs you, pats you on the back and comforts you. With an unknown result, you go far away without hesitation.

The first dance, in the desert. The yellow sand all over the sky slaps on your face and body, and you are fearless. You dance over and over again, and Li Shu captures the dance of your life with the lens. You danced for a whole week, and the high-intensity dance every day made you a little overwhelmed. But it's satisfying to see myself in the camera so carefree and selfless. More and more severe headaches and occasional vomiting make you thin, so you can only pause for a while. When my parents saw you in the video, they couldn't help it anymore, so they took a long vacation to accompany you.

One day, Uncle Li suggested selecting videos and putting them online. He said he hoped more people would like your dance. You chose a dance that you think is the best and posted it online, and named it "I Dance in the Desert". I wonder if this name has touched many people's curiosity. Many people comment under the video. But most of them are questioning and criticizing, and few objective suggestions are given. "Is it really a desert? Settings. " "Go dancing in the desert, or you won't die." "The video doesn't even have a BGM. Too rough. "

During the break, while reading the suggestions in the comments, adjust some dance movements and ideas. Two weeks later, you went to the next stop. Because the snowy mountain is too dangerous, you changed the location, Mei Linxue. Unfortunately, when I first entered the cold area, my condition got worse, with high fever, cough and vomiting. In just one month, you look like a haggard figure. Mom, please give up. You looked her in the eye and said nothing. She never convinced you again. Dragging your tired body and sore legs and feet, you started the second dance. After dancing for three days in a row, you feel dissatisfied. You always feel something is missing.

On the fourth morning, when you open the window, the heavy snow comes quietly. Looking at the goose feather-like snowflake, you froze, and there was a voice calling in your heart: Come on, this is what you are waiting for. You suddenly went black and collapsed to the ground. There is cold sweat on your forehead, and sudden tinnitus makes you unable to hear any sound. I'm afraid this is the last chance.

On this day, you painted yourself more gorgeous makeup than before. You took off your warm clothes inside, wearing only a red skirt. Looking at the red skirt that fit me well a few weeks ago, I can't help but sigh that it would look better if I were fatter.

That day, in the snow, you danced to your heart's content. The blooming red plum is like a dancer, swaying branches beside you. This time you danced longer than before, as if you would never get tired. In fact, you don't feel cold or tired. Your senses seem to be blocked, only knowing that you are spinning, jumping and dancing. Finally, you lift the skirt and spin it slowly in the snow. You see the faces of your parents, teachers and Li Shu. Their faces are not distressed and pitied before, but full of surprises. More and more slowly, the red skirt floated down like red berries in the snow. You fall slowly, and a cold snowflake falls on your face, melting into a drop of water and falling from your face like a tear. You close your eyes and never hear your parents cry again.

You don't know what happened afterwards. After discussing with your parents, the teacher decided to put "one last dance" on the Internet, named it "one last dance for the World", and attached a brief introduction to briefly introduce your short life. The video is still unedited, and there is no BGM, only the sound of snowflakes falling, the sound of red berries swaying, and the sound of you dancing. But everything is just right. There are hundreds of people from all over the world in the comment area, mourning you, pitying you and shouting for you. You know, another comment said, "This dance is beautiful!"

This is the third story of "You", the beauty in despair.