Don't always blame your parents. They don't owe you anything

On that day, Chen Ou organized a group of people to go to South Yunnan Road to eat seafood.

Before the food was served, a boy in the same trade had already drunk five or six bottles of wine. It seems that he was drunk on purpose.

The more he drank, the more he blushed, but his mouth creaked, and he began to keep nagging over there: "It's not because of Manman, it's because our family is poor, because my parents can't afford to sponsor us to change a big house." If my parents had worked harder and saved more money when they were young, they wouldn't buy a big house now. Mom and dad are incapable, and neither am I. What kind of person am I ... Maman, don't go, don't go ... "

I sat opposite him and looked at him like that, full of unhappiness. While eating, I pretended to answer a phone call and told Chen Ou that I had something to do and had to go first.

He chased out and said, "What's the matter, you-"

I said, "I'm here for dinner. I'm not interested in listening to your friend chanting. You know I hate it when big men complain. Why do you have such friends? Don't you think he is so timid? "

Embarrassed by my words, Chen Ou said, "Isn't this a special case? He's getting married soon. The bride broke off her marriage because she didn't like the small house. Who can stand it? " I am definitely not happy. Dude, can you leave him alone? Besides, he's not usually like this ... "

Seeing his seriousness, I suddenly felt a little guilty: "I know he needs to release his emotions now, but you know that I was late for work one night today and just wanted to have a comfortable meal and go home to sleep." After listening to his words, I was afraid that the little demon locked in my heart would jump out and squeeze him desperately. So, in order to avoid war, I'd better go first. "

(2)

At the end of August, I accidentally read a sad news in Weibo: "A junior two boy left a note similar to a suicide note in a drawer and left home. "

The note said, "Please don't disturb others after I die. My death is only related to me ... I will not be a child of a poor family in my next life. "

He left without his cell phone or wallet. After parents know, they are anxious. Seven days later, his parents found their emaciated son in Feixi County, Hefei.

Later, I went to search for a more detailed version, and found that Xin 'an Evening News said there was a note in the drawer: "Dear Mom and Dad, I really can't stand it, and I really don't want to say more. The world is too tired, and I am a weak person. After I leave, keep the change. Seven days, just seven days, and I can go. "

The boy comes from an ordinary family that is neither rich nor poor. His parents work in other places all the year round. Because I am afraid that my child will spend money indiscriminately, it is usually 200 yuan each time. Call him when the money is spent.

Judging from the fact that the boy would rather run away from home, even trying to solve the problem with death, and not communicating with his parents about his lack of money, he can still understand his parents' difficulties. But he may not be well-off financially, which makes him suffer a lot of embarrassment and grievances. In addition, he is under great pressure to study in high school.

He is still young, his mind is not sound enough and his endurance is extremely limited. He feels that his parents can't give him what he wants and he can't change it. Therefore, he took an extreme evasive way to solve the problem.

Perhaps, for every child from an ordinary family, when he experiences the huge gap between poverty and wealth, he will feel resentful, feel that his parents are incompetent and feel that their parents have not paid enough.

However, poverty is not the most terrible thing. The most terrible thing is that I have lost confidence in life because of poverty. Because of poverty, I feel desperate in my present predicament. When I can't blame others, I can only take it out on my parents

However, when we think like this, have we ever thought about what kind of life our parents who have no skills and no money live? They have been working hard for us. They try their best to save money on themselves, just to save more money for our study and life. They are under great economic pressure, and they have been biting their teeth and living so hard.

(3)

In July this year, grapefruit went to Calderon, Shanghai. Invited her to dinner at Raffles, and we walked all the way to the Bund.

Through the bustling crowd, we finally arrived at the Bund. The two of us stood by the Huangpu River, blowing the evening breeze, leaning against the railing, looking at the bright lights around the three "artifacts" of Shanghai on the other side-Shanghai World Financial Center, Jinmao Building and Shanghai Center Building, and chatting for a while about college life.

Pomelo plum is a talented woman in our German department. When I was a sophomore, I agreed with A Xing to study in Germany after graduation. As a result, among the three people, Qin Ge was the only one who succeeded.

A xing gave up halfway for some reasons, and grapefruit left because of family situation, but it still didn't work. The conditions for studying abroad are not mature, so she can only find another way. When she graduated, she signed up for the school's aid project in the west, worked as a village official in a small county in Sichuan for one year, and returned to Zhejiang the next year to become an supernumerary civil servant. This detour is because the working hours of civil servants are relatively easy, and she can spend the rest of her time working to save money and prepare for Telford.

I turned around and leaned against the railing and said, "Do you feel tired sometimes? You just want to study abroad, but it's hard ... "

She smiled contentedly and said, "Yes, I envy Qin Ge occasionally. I think it would be much easier to study abroad if I were a rich and beautiful girl, but this is my dream. I can't let my mother pay the bill behind me. "

She added: "I never thought I could stay at school, and I never thought I would use it as a springboard to stay and settle abroad." It is always a pity that foreign language learners have never been abroad. I just want to find a university as a teacher in China after reading, teach and take photos at ordinary times, and live a stable life with my mother. That's enough. I'm sure you can understand. What about you? Do you still want to go to England? "

I said, "How could I not understand? Sure, I think. When I have enough money, I will go. You know, my salary is so high that I have always been a spendthrift. I have no money. I have to save some money in the future. In college, in private, I envied you for a while. I envy you for being good-looking, smart, writing articles, taking photos, and having a good family condition ... "

She said, "You didn't tell me, I forgot. At first, you all thought my family was in good condition. Later, when I saw that I had been holding a national inspirational scholarship, I realized that my life experience was completely different. Later, everyone's feelings became very good, and I also confessed to you that I am a single-parent family. My father died when I was very young. Tuition fees are funded by wealthy people in their hometown, and the annual living expenses are supported by scholarships and jobs. "

I said, "Yes, from then on, envy turned into admiration. I still remember the sentence you said,' Congenital deficiency is supplemented the day after tomorrow'. "

If you are born with excellent conditions in all aspects, it is luck. If everything is normal, even a little bad, this is life.

"Congenital deficiency makes up the day after tomorrow", these eight words evoked many memories of Li.

She said, "Xia, do you know? One thing happened last year, which hit me hard. A distant cousin at home asked me to borrow money for a mobile phone, so I called him 3 thousand, but after more than two months, there was no news at all, and calling him became an empty number. 3,000 yuan, neither more nor less. My present situation is that I can save more. After thinking for a long time, I got up the courage to call my uncle and ask if I could pay back the money. Guess what he said. He said,' Someone raised it, but no one taught it. Who asked you for the money you borrowed? Call home and ask who is leaving and what to do. If you have no rules, let your father jump out of the grave and teach you! "Then, bang, the phone hung up. For the first time in my life, I feel like dying. At that time, I held my mobile phone tightly in my hands and cried on the ground until my throat could not make a sound. Then I trudged home. I am just poor. Why should I be so humiliated? However, I have no position to blame anyone, and I am not qualified to blame anyone. My mother is still working for me outside. I can only rely on myself, and I should also rely on myself. The next day, I went to work as if nothing had happened "

At that time, I grabbed her hand in distress and wanted to warm her with the temperature in my hand.

When she calmed down, I said inexplicably, "Do you know why I hate pink?"

When I was young, I was about six or seven years old. That year, my father was cheated by a business partner and lost a lot of money. Suddenly, the family went from being rich to being embarrassed and living in poverty.

On my birthday, I took a fancy to a pink princess dress in the mall. I really like it.

I spent more than a week grinding with my mother at home, but she just wouldn't buy it for me. I don't understand. I used to choose gifts. One day, my mother came back with an ugly hairstyle and a skirt I like in her hand. She cut off her long shiny black hair, which she had raised for many years, just to change money for me to buy that skirt.

Since then, she has stood in front of the mirror for a long time every time she combs her hair.

I tried my best to buy a princess dress. I only wore it a few times, and I refused to wear it. At an early age, I already knew what selfishness and guilt were. Therefore, pink is the color I hate most in the world, and there is no one.

(4)

Sometimes I often stay up late and work overtime, and my work is very tiring. When I lie in bed after a hard day's work, I will also think about my happy life for nothing and why I don't have rich and powerful parents, so maybe my life will be much easier. But every time this idea comes out, I immediately hit my head with my fist. How can I have this idea? It's shameful. This idea is really shameful.

I remember one time I was so sad that I cried and called my good friend A Fei to talk.

Finally, her words made my world clear. She said: "Think about it from another angle. Life is so long. If everything is too easy, will it be boring? "

When we think of blaming our parents for some setbacks and difficulties, do we forget that our parents have given us two most precious things in the world, one is life and the other is the opportunity to receive education? This is our capital to change our lives and destiny. They have done their best and given us the best things. They owe us nothing.

In the game of life, parents gave us the basic weapons to break through, upgrade and play BOSS. As for what level can be achieved in the end, it depends on their respective abilities and nature.

Things you envy, things you don't have, things you want, beautiful clothes, expensive cosmetics, popular electronic products, novel travel experiences and so on. All these things you try to make money to change.

Don't complain, because complaining can't solve any problems, and you will accidentally poke your parents' pain. Don't feel inferior. You have nothing to feel inferior about. Many people who live better than you are just "rebirth skills", not real skills. Don't bow your head, dignity will decline, people can be poor, but they can't be spineless.

The road of life in the future, whether it is simple food, big fish and big meat, poverty or abundance, is the result of our own choice and we deserve it. Remember, they don't owe us. For parents, we should be grateful, not resentful.

Of course, the wonderful parents who are born without raising, raising without teaching, regardless of whether their children live or die, are beyond the scope of this article.

-This article is taken from Lin Xia Samo's best-selling book "twenties, why are you afraid of being too late?"