I'm 26 years old and still don't know what I want.

I'm 26 years old and still don't know what I want.

Thinking without an answer ...

26 years old, without the youthful vitality of 18 years old;

26 years old, not as ignorant as 20 years old;

26-year-old, called aunt by children in the street;

At the age of 26, hydrating skin care products can no longer be satisfied;

26 years old, probably married.

The fact is, I am 26 years old, 1 month, and I have gradually felt that my youth is only 28%.

After 1995, he was 26 years old in 2022 and has been involved in society for three or four years. Withered and withered, cowardly. Most of them are still confused and don't know what they want.

/

The emptiness at home on weekends.

I just want to sleep in the dark.

In my daily life, I will also follow the TV series discussed by my colleagues, so I have something to say at lunch. Every former classmate in the circle of friends likes Jay Chou. When I was on a concert tour in Quanzhou, I also bought tickets to watch if I couldn't finish singing all the songs.

When I do these things, I am actually very happy, and I can talk to my colleagues about the development of the plot; I like the happiness brought by watching comedies, and the photos of the concert have won numerous praises in the circle of friends.

When I was alone, I found that I didn't want to do any of these interests. At home on weekends, I just want to sleep forever. These pleasures are more like a means of maintaining social relations. Tell everyone what you like and I like it.

I don't always stick to my hobbies in life, I don't like idolization, I'm too lazy to watch movies, I sing out of tune, and I don't like cooking. Afraid of a person, in fact, you can't stick to your hobby all the time. Fortunately, you didn't give up.

Hobbies that were not recognized before, hobbies that no one understood, and the tastes of the minority were hidden and finally disappeared, and they lost their real love in catering to everyone.

One year after graduation, I changed three jobs.

In Guangdong, 52% of fresh graduates will change after half a year of employment. After the internship, they began to doubt that the job was not suitable for them.

I have been engaged in professional-related work since graduation. I think everything is wonderful. Really answered the sentence "the ideal is full, and the reality is very skinny." At that time, I entered the first film and television company with longing and beauty for the film and television industry. However, the company's capital chain was broken, and my salary could not be paid. I had no financial resources for several months, so I had to reach out to my family for money. Later, I moved to Zhongshan, Guangdong, and worked in an Internet company unrelated to my major. Although I had many unpleasant experiences, I did well. Later, I left my job for various reasons. Then I went to a network company of the same type, and the work I did was more difficult than the last one, but I persisted. The company's act of killing donkeys gave me a blow, but it also made me understand a lot of truth.

I persuaded my family to go to Shenzhen, a metropolis. At that time, it was like I was going to a bigger place to develop. Walking around, I interviewed dozens of companies (either with low academic qualifications, too junior qualifications or poor interview performance). At this time, I felt a deep sense of gap and fell into self-doubt. Later, I took my dream as my career. This has always been my hobby, from photographing people around me to my dream of becoming a travel photographer.

In this job, I decided to start my hobby from the basics. I work as a photography assistant in a wedding photography shop. During that time, I deeply realized the hardships of the service industry (getting up at 6 o'clock every day and going back to the dormitory around midnight). A few months later, I found that this job was not what I expected to show my talents. Tortured by boring repetition, it is also common to work overtime until late at night.

Portrait shooting is very different from wedding photography, but I can't see my head when I'm tired. My original dream went out of shape at work.

I used to think that work was about realizing my dreams, learning from them, and finally getting lost in confusion.

1 year, dreams are defeated by reality, wandering in the dream reality, constantly picking up and letting go, and finally forgetting their original persistence.

/

After looking for a job for half a year, my dad said to let me go home.

When Eric first came to the company as an editor, I asked my sister who took over the job why she didn't do it. She said that she was going to be a teacher, but she was persuaded by her father every day: I heard that her daughter was admitted to a certain unit, and her work was stable and she was close to home.

"I don't think you can earn much money as a Chinese major. Being a teacher is stable, and being a teacher in winter and summer vacation is actually quite good. I have always asked you to take the teacher qualification certificate, not the exam. " So she slowly wavered.

I plan to be admitted to a teacher and marry my boyfriend when I find a job. Today is a good day. Now I don't want to stay in Guangzhou and work hard. Big cities are really difficult.

I was actually surprised to hear the reason why she left. From the pause in her tone, I knew she was still hesitating.

My sister and I are the same major. My parents forced me to take the teacher qualification exam, and I gave up the last of the two subjects. My parents and I frankly said, "I really don't like being a teacher, and I don't want to use it as my retreat."

In fact, other people's advice can change you because you are suspicious and not firm in yourself. If you have the life you want and a firm attitude towards it, I'm afraid you won't waver no matter how hard others try.

Hesitant about parents' advice and persuasion, but you still don't know what you want. For future planning, only you can help you in the end. It is not easy to find the direction you want to go, and a firm position is the first to reach the finish line.

/

At the age of 26, the most important thing is to have your own choice.

When we were young, we used to listen to our parents' arrangements. Arrange schools, interest classes, junior high schools and the life track of finding a job after graduating from college.

Now we are still immersed in this arrangement, hesitant to convince our parents, afraid to say no to what we want to do, and afraid to let go of our dreams. We still don't know what we want!

I said, "The road of life depends on yourself step by step. What can really protect you and what can really hurt you is your own choice. "

After all, life is your own, don't make excuses for cowardice, don't be trapped by obedience, life is more reliable in your own hands. After all, the most peaceful happiness in the world is to know who you are and then move in that direction step by step.

We need to live more like ourselves than others. What we need is self-confidence and firmness. Don't admit cowardice, don't blindly follow, this is the correct way of life.

I have reflected many times.

26 years old can be used as an attribute in front of "young people".

How can it be so hard, even suspected of actively causing anxiety and melodrama. But I really can't ignore the confusion brought by this era.

Just say that I was on a business trip that day and got a call from my mother at the hotel.

My mother asked me to turn on the video with great concern. She wants to see the photo of me locking the hotel door with her own eyes.

"I don't trust you to live outside as a little girl."

I just ignored her request and asked me to tell her the steps of locking and let me open and lock the locked door again.

Seeing me taking off my makeup, she said, "Come closer and show me."

This is her latest hobby, the main purpose of which is to observe the traces of time on my face.

I said, "See it clearly?"

My mother said, "You are not young. How many years do you think you can play ... "

So human beings really have the ability to completely overturn what they have said in just five minutes.

Of course, the focus of my mother's speech is the following discussion.

Its central idea is to guide me to consider getting married, buying a house, changing a job that "makes people less vicissitudes", and at least getting a driver's license.

It is really not easy to control the scale between "little girl" and "lady".

The rainbow I saw today

To all those who don't know whether they are ladies or girls.

four

A few months ago, I saw a Weibo. The blogger said that his biggest problem at present is that he has only one mood when he meets anything and people, and that is "OK".

It means, "This world is no stranger to me."

Last year, I wrote an article to myself at the age of 18. At that time, I mentioned, "I became indifferent."

Unexpectedly, a year later, I made progress and became more fucking indifferent.

The new news from friends is that they broke up, got married, bought a house, got promoted, resigned and changed idols. Sorry, there is nothing more important to find.

There are other energetic friends of the same age. These people have done a lot of outrageous things, but their overall temperament is very inspiring.

I climbed the peak in Europe, took photos all over the country, and some people buried themselves in painting at home, and finally held several exhibitions by themselves. And the two of them can only feel the same way about me.

Not bad.

After watching the two life trajectories of conformity and bohemian, so what, you won't get a special reference that can be a blueprint.

When I was young, it didn't mean I didn't feel this way.

I just didn't know what I could do at that time, so I tried to do a lot of things that made me look "special".

A few years later, such a request never appeared on me again.

Know what you can do, and start to step into life planning slowly.

It's hard to say that I don't have the concept of what to do and what not to do at my age.

To paraphrase ewan mcgregor's classic lines in Trainspotting, it will become:

"Choose avocado, fitness, punching in, returning flowers on time every month, saving money, Starbucks, enjoying high heels over 5cm, choosing hot spots and comments, choosing idols who are concerned after knowing 00, paying taxes and paying social security, paying rent of no more than 4,000 yuan, caring about house prices, considering marriage and pretending to be confident and not confused."

Although the last sentence of the original line is "I choose or not."

And my last sentence was, "I choose all."

Not a failure, but when asked where the road ahead is, the answer may not be more directional than the answer of the previous 26 years.

After watching the rainbow, watch the sunset.

five

Maybe everyone will be so tired at some stage, I said to myself.

As a "lady", you have to have some solutions to deserve this title.

But to be honest, there is no solution.

At least I haven't.