What is the specific procedure of marriage customs in Yunxi District of Yueyang City?

The first step is blind date. The blind date of Yunxi people is called "meeting people", which is different from other places. It is the woman who comes to the man's house. If the man has a crush on a girl, ask the matchmaker to fix her up at the girl's house. When the woman is a little excited, she will promise to "see others." Then, the two sides made an appointment one day, and the woman sent several influential people (girls, girls' mothers and close relatives) to form an "investigation team" to visit the man's house. When "seeing others", the man does not need to invite guests. Of course, the family will still deliberately prepare, and everything is the specification for welcoming VIPs.

There is a special rule of "looking at others", that is, if the woman stays at the man's house for dinner, it means that she recognizes this marriage; Don't stay unless you agree. Similarly, if the woman agrees to this marriage, she must stay for dinner, otherwise it will cause unnecessary misunderstanding. Nothing is absolute. If the woman doesn't agree, it will be too far to go home for dinner. Then, after dinner, you should give the man's children or the old man some money (it should be more than the man's meal). It's called paying for meals. The man can take money or not, but the woman's meaning must be expressed.

If "Look at others" passes, it will enter the second step: engagement. When engaged, the woman usually asks the man for some bride price, which is called "clothing money". The amount of "clothing money" does not have certain rules, but depends on the economic development level of each place and the economic conditions of both families. Generally speaking, every place has a common standard. The amount of "clothing money" is often a matter of face, and most women's families are very concerned about this matter. Of course, this person wants less. If men and women disagree, a matchmaker is needed to mediate.

The engagement is called "issuing books", and the ceremony is held at the man's house, which requires several tables of banquets. The date is set by the woman and the banquet is in the charge of the man. The specifications should be high. The man invites the most important relatives to accompany him. When he is engaged, he is called "old relatives accompany new relatives", and there is another important detail. Men will give red envelopes to children among female guests. Otherwise you will be criticized. After the engagement, both men and women officially became in-laws.

From the engagement to the end of the wedding, the man should give gifts to the woman's immediate elders (including her married brother). This is called "watching festivals". Generally speaking, you must watch it three times. "Family" gifts are also exquisite, there can be no taboo items, and the variety and weight should be even. Generally, it is "four kinds of four catties" and "four kinds of eight catties", and there are also "eight kinds of eight catties" with good conditions. Eight catties and eight samples are 64 catties. You see, ten families are more than 600 catties, so you have to prepare a car. When watching the festival, the woman's relatives can't eat for free, but give back, which is called "returning to the pool". Generally speaking, in cash return, the cash returned by the father-in-law will be several times more than the gift. According to the relationship between relatives and friends, generally speaking, the cash returned will not be lower than the value of the gift.

The third step is to get married. In the first month of the wedding year, the man will take the woman's main relatives home for a meal, which is called "receiving spring guests", and the wedding can only be held in the year of receiving spring guests.

The whole wedding procedure of Yunxi people has three days.

A few days before the wedding, in addition to the bride price, the man also sent some meat, fish and water wine to the woman. These things are called "gifts" and let the woman treat them.

The night before the wedding is called "matchmaking", also called "melon seed feast". The guests attending the banquet are all relatives and friends of the man. The groom and the helper brought some gifts and invited the matchmaker. In the past, it was necessary to carry the matchmaker in a sedan chair, but now it is generally out of fashion.

The main guest the night before was the groom's uncle. My uncle wants to send a plaque. In the past, the word "He" was written on the plaque. Now it is necessary to affix a bill, with a general denomination of 100 yuan, at least in 50 yuan. Just saying "congratulations" will cost thousands of dollars to be an uncle.

The "plaque" is not hung on the wall casually, and it needs a ceremony. First, you have to carry it in a sedan chair. My uncle's family will send a thin hairpin to sit in a sedan chair as a plaque-protecting boy. The groom's family will greet the plaque with firecrackers and give red envelopes to the boys. Subsequently, a flag-raising ceremony was held. It's my uncle's turn to pay the bill and give red envelopes to those who help. The amount is roughly equivalent to the red envelope received by the boy. The uncle who made the plaque was the most distinguished guest that night, sitting in the most distinguished position-directly below the plaque.

The next day is the wedding day, which is called "opposite day". The groom, together with the matchmaker and suona player, will arrive at the woman's house before dawn. It's called getting married. The groom needs a little test to get into the woman's door. The woman's family will arrange several badminton to close the door, deliberately not opening the door and asking the groom for a red envelope. After an interesting bargain, the groom stuffed a red envelope through the door before the gentleman opened the door. After the wedding, the groom needs to go back to his home.

Although the groom gets married early, the woman won't get married early. This is not a matter of spite, but a matter of face. Under normal circumstances, when the bride arrives at the woman's house, the "100 guests" (ordinary guests) of the man's house have already finished lunch.

There are many visitors from the bride, so there are two kinds of people to mention in particular. One is called "VIP", which is mainly the immediate family members of the bride's parents, such as uncles, and the other is called "Laiqin", which is mainly the bride's peer brother, who is responsible for choosing the bride's dowry. Of course, it's all cars now, and no one is selected.

When the bride's team arrived, the man set off firecrackers to greet them and sent someone to take over the burden on his shoulders. It is not humility to come to relatives but not to pay the burden easily, but to "like money." Walking in front of relatives is the most interesting thing, because they are young, ignorant, can do it, and will not give up if they give less money. No one can go in unless he gives up.

After an interesting episode, the bride was welcomed into the hall and held a ceremony-paying homage. Whether the wedding ceremony is wonderful depends on the level of the host. After the church, the bride walked into the new house. The wedding banquet officially began. It is said to be a luncheon, but in fact, the opening hours are usually after 4 pm.

The wedding banquet is very particular. Male and female "big guests" eat separately. The male "big guest" eats first. According to the custom of Yunxi, the male relatives of the woman can't live in the man's house on the wedding day. The man needs to invite local respected elders to accompany him, and the task of accompanying him is to organize "big guests" to sit at the table. Although there are rules about where to sit, the "big guest" will never take the initiative to sit down, but will accompany the guests again and again, and the seats are very simple. They all say "don't pay attention, just sit casually" and deliberately grab the second seat, but in fact, if the guests really arrange this, they will definitely not be able to do it, and they will also make comments. Generally speaking, a "big guest" will be invited to the table three times, which is called "three invitations and three divisions". This is the spectrum of being a "big guest" and cannot be vague. Anyone invited once will be laughed at. Yunxi called the matchmaker "Red Leaves" and was the biggest guest on the table. Above the banquet, the "big guests" remain polite, and they are polite regardless of eating and drinking, which requires guests to have superb language skills, and everything should conform to etiquette, and eating and drinking is the second. During the dinner, the chef will specially add two dishes to the table of the big guests, put a basin of water on it and wash their hands for the big guests. This is called "persuading the kitchen". These two dishes "big guests" are for red envelopes, which vary from place to place.

Visiting relatives and friends is the best way to entertain guests. There is a saying in Yunxi: Come and kiss and rub (the horse) mercilessly. Come over and kiss, eat and drink, and no one will laugh, because this is allowed by custom. Custom also gives relatives a privilege. If they are not satisfied with the banquet or reception, they can turn over the table and leave. In fact, no one will really do this. We are all related, and we will keep going back and forth, right?

It's usually eight or nine o'clock in the evening when the female guests have finished eating. The next ceremony is "drinking tea". The bride and groom carry tea and offer tea to the main relatives of both sides according to their generations. Respected relatives must pay "tea money" after receiving tea. After drinking tea, the woman's male relatives left. Then there is the bridal chamber. Making trouble in the bridal chamber is mainly a matter for young people. There is no place for the new girl (bride), so no one will care about the difference in the bridal chamber. Of course, everything can't go too far, just enough is enough.

The wedding is over, but the marriage is not. On the third morning, the bride and groom will send tea to every household in the village. In the evening, I will go to the matchmaker's house to "thank the media". "Xie Media" should bring gifts. It used to be pork and shoes, but now it's tickets.

After that, the bride and groom will return to their mother's home (the bride's home), which is called "Huimen". When you go back to the door, you should watch a festival called "Return Gift". After watching the "Return Gift", the marriage is over.