Farewell Moments in Audrey Hepburn's Sons

This is a 225-page picture book with pictures and texts. In the title of the book, because the word spirit also has the meaning of "spirit", it is a pun, and "elegant spirit" can appropriately reflect the essence of Audrey Hepburn.

I have skimmed four or five biographies of Hepburn, most of which are platitudes and gossip. It is nothing more than the relationship between who and who, what movies have been made, what clothes have been worn, and how amazing it is.

This is different. Sean said, I wrote my mother's life philosophy, thoughts and concepts.

After reading it, I especially like her son. I always thought he was stupid. A nicotine baby has grown up. It seems that he has neither inherited his parents' amazing beauty nor their intelligence.

I made a mistake.

Sean looks simple and honest, with a fleshy face and a chubby nose. In all the interview scenes, he always speaks slowly and has a dull expression. In an interview, the background is a large green lawn, which slopes upward along the grass slope. In the golden sunshine, it is his big white house, which is located on the top of the mountain. This is a wedding gift from his mother.

It is such a vivid background that a person sits on a snow-white rattan chair on a hillside, looking around as if half dead, making people want to pat him on the shoulder and drink loudly "wake up!" " ?

I have a suspicion that he is one of those nicotine babies. Hepburn, if there is any "only imperfection", it is that she smokes. However, this is the historical situation, that era.

Hepburn has always loved children and tried to get pregnant, but she has miscarried several times. Only one son was born in the last two marriages. The author of this book was born by her and her first husband, Mel Ferro, and it was the result of careful bed rest in the last few months of pregnancy.

It seems that Sean was born under the influence of nicotine and fetal medicine in his mother's womb, without the aura of dew in his mother's flowers; As a boy, I didn't inherit my father's heroism-mel ferrer was a brave Princeton dropout when he was young, and his family was a noble family in New Jersey and new york. He is thin and handsome, with melancholy eyes and a white knight's temperament. He walks like a prince. That handsome light is as sharp as a knife.

But Sean's book is beautiful. As a biography, his comments on events and related figures are modest and pertinent, but not formal and fluent; Words dive sincerely, noble and generous, and he is an authentic gentleman, which makes people see his upbringing; Philosophical thinking between stories and characters' narratives is like waves on a country river, naturally flashing and poetic.

He is a thoughtful, educated, keen, meticulous, kind, wise and responsible person.

Raising such a son shows Hepburn's own character and cultivation. When you miss someone, don't go back to her parents first Maybe we should look at her spouse and her children first, and we can probably know that this person is 89%.

Spouses choose their own, and children are raised according to core values; These two living people are put in front of everyone for the time being. You said you wanted to pretend there was something else? It's a little difficult.

Meeting parents may not be accurate. Because parents are not chosen by themselves, although childhood will have an impact, but hello? What about evolution? The little monkey has the genes of the old monkey, but under some conditions, it may be able to live healthier physically and mentally than the old monkey.

As human beings, our greatest strength is not the internal conditions endowed by the external environment, but the strength of the mind.

Everyone may have the ability to redeem themselves.

We can try not to be a complete victim of the environment, and we can choose to reshape ourselves to some extent.

In some ways, Hepburn is a victim. She comes from an abandoned single-parent family. The Second World War brought shame, the killing of relatives, hunger, extreme poverty, slaughter and violence.

Her son can also claim to be the victim. He comes from a divorced family, with too much material wealth and too little freedom, too complicated interpersonal interests, and the pollution of nicotine on the uterus.

However, after reading this book, we have seen the honesty and efforts of two ordinary "people", mother and son, and the power of self-salvation of two souls.

Audrey Hepburn is both a dream and a nightmare for biographers. Because her life is too much like a bowl of typical inspirational chicken soup, but there is no scandal.

In her own words, it is "my life is too simple, there is really nothing to write about."

Son Sean wrote: "Beneath her warm and kind appearance, there is more warmth and kindness." She is too honest to write an autobiography. Because if she writes, with her seeking truth from facts, what she writes will "probably" hurt some people.

The rest, in her opinion, is too plain, too simple, too unimportant, and there is really nothing to write about. "

"However, simplicity is the biggest secret in her life."

In 9 1 year, the publisher asked her to write another autobiography and promised to pay $3 million in advance. In the letter, she tried to convince her that "you can at least donate the money to your charitable foundation."

To this end, she promised to consider it. Since 1988, at the age of 58, she has become a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, helping children in Latin America and Africa fly to poor countries and regions, appealing for and raising money for children.

Deeply moved by the living conditions of the children in those places, she said to her son, "… I came back from hell once." I don't do much, but I must do more for those children. Children are the future and hope of human society. "

Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awarded her the 1988 Oscar Humanitarian Award.

But she died at 9 1 and didn't have time to write.

Sean wrote, "I thought hard for a long time before I decided to write a biography for her. All the money I get will be donated to Audrey Hepburn Children's Fund in her name.

But I think, for the above reasons, since she didn't write it herself, maybe I shouldn't write it either. This is her life. This is her privacy. I don't want to get involved in other people's lives, snitch or make up stories.

First of all, there is nothing to hide about her life. Secondly, even if there was, she never mentioned it to us. I just want to write about herself, what kind of person she is.

Yes, she is really like those characters you see on the screen: susceptible, brave, sensitive and romantic. But wouldn't it be better if everyone could finally get confirmation from me-all these are true? "

"This book will lead you on a spiritual journey full of tenderness and care. Also entered my memory. I have lived with her for thirty-three years, and she is the best mother and friend a person can pray for.

What I saw on the big screen and felt in my heart was not only the clever and capable director, photographer and editor, but also some synthetic characters. She is really such a person, full of magic.

She deserves the warmth and encouragement of the audience all over the world. "

"Billy Wilde, a director with special' magic' in making movies and one of my mother's closest friends, said it best: God kissed her on the cheek and she came to us like this."

" ? What if I write my own autobiography? My mother once said to me,' The preface will be like this: I was born in Brussels, Belgium on May 4, 1929 ... Six weeks later, I died.

Hepburn said that her newborn had severe pneumonia and she suddenly stopped breathing.

"However, grandma slapped her mother's ass hard and took her life back with great faith."

"In addition to this episode, my mother feels that her life is simple and clear, and there is nothing to write. Her Victorian upbringing was: never conspicuous and grandstanding.

Like her own mother would give her such a lesson? Hey, you! Don't think you're interesting. "

This is repeatedly praised by the media? The most beautiful woman in the world set the tone for her life. Honest, positive, modest and shrewd self-mockery.

I still remember Hepburn's first sentence: "When I was a child, my mother often taught me not to be self-centered and always wanted others to pay attention to you." But what she didn't expect was that when I grew up, I relied on this, mixed a bowl of rice, and lived a decent little life. "

This is a gesture. A decision. She asked who she was early in the morning and what was the most important thing in her life. Such sureness, sincerity and rationality run through the main thread of her colorful life, making her not a broken kite, dangling in the sky.

She can fly, too, but like an angel without wings. Hollywood is bustling and impetuous, and the world of mortals is rolling. Women fly gently, leaving no trace in their hearts and no dust in their sleeves.

A completely honest heart that faces life without greed, anxiety, doubt and fear will have a higher and freer place to go.

There are several places in the book that impressed me the most.

First, the daily clothes and homes in the photos in the book.

Her dress and lifestyle are minimalist.

Minimalism in art and fashion began in Europe and America in the 1960s. In recent years, because people are constantly in the mimicry environment of information explosion, human beings unconsciously begin to struggle for "dimensionality reduction", so minimalism in life has also begun to prevail, regardless of the East and the West-I think she was already an expert at that time.

She said, "Do what you need to do most and be clear about what you want. If you want too much, you will not only get nothing, but also make life complicated and tired. "

Regarding the wardrobe, she told her son that clothes are for occasions, just like men's black suits and white shirts and ties. The key is to get them? "Decent" is not showing off.

If the audience pays attention, they will find that she rarely wears jewelry outside movies, and she will wear appropriate accessories except for attending large-scale events such as award ceremonies. Especially after middle age, in all her personal interviews, except for a ring on her hand, there is not even a shiny little earring.

On her, the sentence "A person's most beautiful decoration is her manners and smile" was fulfilled.

Her home, the room is empty, there are no odds and ends, snow-white wooden window frames, big windows, fabric sofas with simple lines, and thin cloth lotus leaves cover a low lamp.

I lived in a small town in Switzerland for 30 years. My son walked to school with her every day when he was young. My classmates are carpenters, farmers, clerks, ordinary people and no stars. Her house is a farmhouse of the18th century, with two and a half acres of fruit trees in the front yard and a road paved with gray gravel.

Sean wrote: "We don't have a video recorder at home. My mother is at home and never watches her own movies. When the film is finished, it's over. My mother's house has no imprint of Hollywood. "

I have seen Marilyn Monroe's home. The home is also very empty and simple, but like the bachelor dormitory, it seems that it is temporarily borrowed to pull a cupboard and a stool in the east, and it is completely inappropriate. The hostess's heart doesn't live there at all.

Hepburn's family is very homely, but what the hostess wants is a kind of Zen. Throughout her life, she experienced war, family destruction and great background of the times. Maybe she often asks in her heart, what is the most important and how can I live.

Perhaps because of this pursuit of the fundamental meaning of life, later, the title, family background and money of the nobility were burned in the war. When she had to make a living in Hollywood, in the center of the whirlpool of temptation, she had no superfluous decoration, no golden wings and flowers, only the simplicity of ballerinas and monks; On her face, there is no empty wink and smile, no lust and greed, but there is often a clear expression, which is a special respect for her new life regained after the war.

The second thing that impressed me was how she handled her relationship with her father.

Sean wrote: "She once told us that when she was a child, when she saw other people snuggling in her father's arms, she always felt a sense of emptiness and pain. She hopes that her father will appear, so that she can enjoy the warmth of her father's love like other children. At that time, she always hoped that her father was still alive. Somewhere in the world, one day he would suddenly appear in front of her. "

Her father left her when she was six. After many years, under the careful arrangement of her husband Mel, she saw her father again in the lobby downstairs of the hotel. His father didn't get excited, didn't hug, just stood there, cold, stiff and straight. Hepburn came forward and gave him a hug. They spent the afternoon. During the dinner, my father didn't say what he missed, nor did he say that he had seen her movies. He just talked about his horse lightly.

When Mel came out of the bathroom the next morning, his father had already said goodbye to Hepburn and left. Mel shouted, "That's it? ! "。 Hepburn said quietly, "Yes, that's all."

Later, they met again, just before his father died. But when my father died, he showed no concern for his daughter. Hepburn, on the other hand, never stopped sending money to him when the economy was no longer affluent.

Sean wrote: "Mom must be very disappointed. But she said nothing about it. She is such a person. "

Psychologists say that maybe her father is a person with emotional communication disorder. However, she said, "People should do their duty, even if you are hurt."

She said, "Love is an action. We are born with the ability to love, but we must practice it, just like we practice other muscles. "

Thirdly, I have a lot of feelings about the influence of family background, the quality of a mother and the experience of World War II on a person's growth and personality.

My grandfather is the local mayor and my mother is a baroness. Their big houses in cities and villages, like manors in English dramas, are lined with spires and have a beautiful lake at the door.

However, when the Nazis came, the old house was used as a military camp by the enemy, and things were burned and robbed. Everyone was driven out, lived in the country, dug potatoes and tulips to eat, and hid in the cellar when the air raid came. My uncle, relatives and friends took part in underground activities and were found out one by one and shot on the wall. My brother is missing.

However, my mother took her, organized friends and classmates, drew black curtains and danced silent ballet for everyone; Listen to the radio from Britain secretly, quietly pass on the good news bit by bit to each other and cheer themselves up; Raise money for guerrillas; Send messages with shoes and baskets; Secretly delivered medicine to British pilots, and hid chocolate and wine that they were reluctant to eat.

These wartime experiences have always kept Hepburn's eyes calm and alert. Mother and aristocratic family gave her elegant and strict self-discipline, sense of mission and responsibility; Hard years have made her simple, practical, brave, generous and compassionate. This gives her a complicated temperament.

Everyone has his own setbacks. She may even be more unhappy than the average girl. However, the lack of father's love when she was young, the near-death experience in the war and the disappointment of two marriages did not let hatred and malice take root in her heart-she chose to stubbornly keep the goodwill in her soul and not fall into self-pity, but to give more help to others in her later years, especially to those children struggling in Africa.

She said: "No matter how bad the environment is, people always try to live."

Son Sean wrote: "Sometimes, life will slowly bind us, but a near-death event will set us free." We suddenly see clearly what is worth paying and what is not.

Although my mother is not keen on any formal religion, she has her own beliefs all her life: love, the miracle of nature and the beauty in life. She is grateful that life has given her a second chance. As long as there is an opportunity, especially in her later years, she will try her best to repay her life and devote herself to the work of UNICEF. "

In a report to UN staff, she said: "UNICEF is a humanitarian organization, not a charity organization. It solves the problem of development, rather than just distributing things to an outstretched hand like welfare relief. I have been to Ethiopia, Venezuela, Ecuador, Mexico and Sudan. In these places, what I see is not an outstretched hand, but silence but dignity and the desire to have the opportunity to help myself. "

She is sensitive to this question from this special angle, perhaps because she did it herself-? After experiencing war, famine, loneliness, loss of relatives and friends, loss of money status and sense of security, and broken childhood, she chose to walk out of these shadows, not reaching out for compensation, so-called fairness, so-called sympathy, but silently and with dignity. After helping herself, she turned her head to help others, just like she and her mother helped underground guerrillas and British pilots in the war.

Mihaly csikszentmihalyi? (Mihaly Chekhov Mihaly)? He said in his TED speech: "I grew up in Europe during World War II and witnessed so many great adults being destroyed by the war, losing their will and pride to survive, their happiness and happiness. They collapsed and sank. But I also see a few people who are not crushed by cruelty and sadness. They can find the meaning and happiness of life. I've been doing research for so many years, and it's like this: Why? What makes these people different?

I come to the conclusion that they do things wholeheartedly and don't let themselves be entangled in their selfish and gloomy thoughts. They let their thoughts be empty and focused, free from distractions, and concentrate on their goals like a meditation Zen master. In this state, people are infinitely close to happiness, happiness and meaning. "

She chose to forget the past, forgive others, focus on moving forward, save herself and help others, instead of passively hiding behind what contemporary people often say "PTSD".

Norman vincent peale's The Power of Positive Thinking (norman vincent peale's The Power of Positive Thinking) wrote: "A person may be his best friend or his greatest enemy-? One of the most effective ways to cure your sadness is not to indulge in your sad land of Xiaotian, but to go out and help people who are weaker than you and have a hard life. "

That's what she did: her? "I don't sit at home and chew my fingernails alone", but I walk in Africa and shout for the weak: "Today I speak for those children who can't ask for anything for themselves; I speak for children who are blind due to lack of vitamins, children who are injured by polio, and children who are weakening due to lack of drinking water; I speak on behalf of about 1 100 million street children in the world. They were forced to leave their families in order to survive. They have nothing but courage, smiles and dreams. I speak on behalf of the children injured in the war. They have no enemies, but they are always the first to get hurt in the war ... Children are our most important resource and our hope for the future. "

Sean wrote: "In Hollywood, people laugh and say that my mother is an iron hand hidden under velvet gloves."

Fourthly, what I particularly like about Sean's brushwork is Hepburn's meticulous and true description of the moment of death.

It may also be that when people reach middle age, everyone around them is dying directly or indirectly, which is very close to my eyes. I have paid a lot of attention to the death that I didn't have when I was young and tried to understand it.

We often talk about the bright lives of stars and public figures in the spotlight. How they are bejeweled and dazzling, what brand of perfume they use, what designer fur they wear, and whether the color of toilet paper matches the initials printed on the toilet paper-some people are almost familiar with these.

We may also be keen on chewing those fresh and public deaths, such as how Marilyn Monroe died mysteriously and mysteriously, full of suspense; For example, Kennedy was assassinated in front of thousands of people, how bloody and violent it was, and the world was shocked; For example, Steve Jobs died online, and it is well known that hundreds of millions of dollars have gone by, and the curse of peerless genius has come to an abrupt end.

However, we rarely see how celebrities die in front of their families and at home. What was his or her last ordinary moment like?

A celebrity may be born as gorgeous as a summer flower, but death is such a private matter, and it is so plain and true that it can't be shown off and praised. At the moment of death, we finally faced the loneliness of honest death. In this corner where beautiful lights can't shine, all the glory and brilliance have come to an end, all the auras of genius and pride have vanished, and all the hypocrisy and dignity have instantly turned into dust.

No one can pretend to walk in the white light of the tunnel from death to heaven. In this white light, all the burdens of arrogance and prejudice have been unloaded.

I only have the English version of this book at hand, and I have also browsed the Chinese version of this book on the Internet. I feel that many parts of translation are inaccurate, and some parts may be translated by artificial intelligence, like robots, which have shortcomings. So I translated a large paragraph in the quotation marks below. This is also the end of the book.

Sean's brushwork in this part is solemn and simple, trying to be calm, like a person's mumbling, without the formality and exaggeration of the news broadcast memorial service. Only one son faces the real pain and meditation of his loved one's death, which is a Hemingway-style sketch, lonely and silent, clear and simple. I like it. When translating, I also try to keep this style. People say that translation is a second creation, which is true.

Also, when he mentioned his mother's assistant and maid, he would deliberately add the word "friend" in the face of the uncontrollable moment where you are going to show the upbringing of this family.

Sean wrote: " ...

This is the last thing she said before she fell asleep.

Now she is still sleeping. However, in an instant, a feeling swept me like a flood. At that moment, I knew what to do. I sat in the chair beside the bed, held her hand and told her how much I loved her. This is the same bed. When I was a little boy, I was allowed to sleep on it at night. This bed, I thought it was the safest place in the world. Now, I suddenly realize that this bed looks so small that if she leaves, this bed will become meaningless. I told her that I knew she loved us very much, and I knew she didn't want to drag on like this. We don't know. I whispered that if she felt ready, she could go. I put her hand on my face and let her feel the temperature of my tears. Somewhere in my heart, I know she can hear what I say to her. I kissed her hand and told her that the little boy in her heart, the little boy in my body, would accompany her on the road.

A while ago, she told us, "The world over there is coming." We don't know what she really means. She said they were waiting for her here. She described them as "on the left side of the bed". Dressed like Amish, standing in a clearing quietly waiting for me. ”？ When we asked her to explain again, she said softly, "You don't understand. Maybe you will understand later. " ? It doesn't matter, so at least I know that she can strongly perceive another world, at least not afraid. In this way, several times, we had the opportunity to talk to her about her death, our fears and our wishes. She also told us not to be sad-this is the essence of life-death is a part of life.

I stood up, touched her forehead, and told her I'd be right back. I went downstairs in a daze and called the priest. He answered the bell as soon as it rang. When he heard my voice, he was relieved and said that he had been waiting for my call. He is over eighty years old and baptized me thirty-three years ago. When I was on the phone, I felt as if I had drifted to the horizon for a while and then returned to reality. He said that he would arrive at four. I thank him.

I went through town to the cemetery. The dry and cold air in winter makes my nose ache, reminding me that I still live in a painful world. She told me that she was willing to bury her brother. Brother has always regretted that grandma was cremated, and we all have nowhere to mourn. She mentioned that there was a minority tribe living in seclusion in a valley behind our house. They strongly advocate national autonomy and do not hesitate to fight for it, just like the Basques. However, nobody cares, nobody knows. I guess Swiss apathy is spreading throughout society. I recall her dignified expression in my mind. She is really the head of this tribe in our family. When I opened the cemetery door with cast iron vines, the cold stung my fingertips. There is an empty cemetery, and there is a beautiful little tree behind it, leaning against the wall. Although it is still winter, I can imagine its branches are full of heavy flowers in spring. I stood at the top of this slope and looked around. I think it's good.

I walked back through the town and came to the city hall. The first floor is the post office, and the second floor is the office. At the back of the building, there is a town clock that rings every hour. When I was a child, my dream was heavy because of this bell. The mayor is an old friend of our family. His children were classmates with me when I was a child. He looked up and saw me. He knew what I was doing here. He took out an old book from the shelf and we studied the cemetery together. On that little picture, I pointed to the number 63. He said that it costs 275 Swiss francs and can be used for 500 years. I said, "can I have it forever?" ? He raised his head. "That's three hundred and fifty francs." I thought to myself, how wonderful, in such a small town of 800 years, you can buy "eternity" with 75 francs. We shook hands and I walked home.

She didn't move. I sat down next to her and told her about the cemetery and the peach blossom of that tree. I can feel that she agreed. The intercom is ringing. It's a priest. The passer Edinger has arrived. I went downstairs to see him, but when I held his hand, my words choked me. We went upstairs silently without saying a word. He stood by the bed, and everyone else knelt at the foot of the bed. The scriptures he recited were very beautiful and his voice was full of emotion. This is the kind of maturity that a person will have after his soul has precipitated all purity and doubt for 80 years. I cried and so did my wife. We held hands and prayed with the priest. The sun came out from behind the clouds, and the light came in through the window. After the prayer, we hugged each other and kissed her gently, and then everyone went downstairs. Without asking anyone, the priest found himself a chair, sat down and opened the Bible in his hand. I asked him if he wanted anything, and he said he had everything and didn't need anything. I asked him if he wanted to go back. I can call him a car. He said he wanted to wait until the time was up. So, I sat with everyone and told them one-on-one about cemeteries, peach trees and "eternal" prices. Everybody listen to me quietly. After that, I asked if you had any comments. Everyone said yes. The last person I talked about was Robbie. When I finished, I asked him if he thought it was okay. He said he was fine. It's good. Hardly had his voice fallen when the bell rang upstairs. That's Giovanna, my mother's maid and friend of thirty-five years, shouting, "Come on up!" " I am speechless. We galloped upstairs.

She left.

She has a smile on her face and her lips are slightly open. A small tear hangs in the corner of my eye, flashing like a diamond. Giovanna looked pale and muttered that she had gone to brush the sink. That's Krista, my mother's friend and assistant at UNICEF. When she entered the room, she found that she had left. We hugged Giovanna tightly. She never left my mother. She is sick, not sick, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Mother once told her that husbands come and go, but they can always support each other. I have heard that people who are dying will do this before, and they will choose to go on the road when their relatives are not around. Mom was really alone just now.

… …

On the day my mother was buried ... I was told that there were 25,000 people standing in the street in our small town with only 65,438+0,200 residents. "

..... also use this passage from Sean as the end of my article. There is nothing more suitable.