Tell me a joke, okay?

1. A Chinese teacher from Shandong read aloud to the students

An ancient poem by Lu You entitled "Wo Chun" and asked the students to dictate it. (Please read from left to right, haha!!!)

The Chinese teacher read as follows and a student dictated as follows

"Wo Chun" "I'm Stupid"

I smell the flowers in the dark, I am uneducated

I lie on the branch with sadness, I have a very low IQ,

I hear the flowers in the distance, I am lying on the water, you want to ask me who I am,

Easy to reach spring green. A big stupid ass.

The shore looks green, I am a donkey,

The shore looks green, I am a donkey,

The shore looks green. I'm a stupid donkey

2. A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report:

"Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive ! "

(Translation: Comrades, villagers, please pay attention! Don’t talk, it’s a meeting now!!)

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, sausages and pickles!"

(Translation: Let's talk to the township chief now!)

The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, everyone is "Big bastard!"

(Translation: Comrades, today's meal is enough, let's all use big bowls!)

"If you don't want pickled melon, I'll pick up some dog poop for you. You guys lick it..."

(Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story...)

Taoyuan dialect is very strange, such as " "bureau" is pronounced as "pig".

First go to the Propaganda Department of the County Party Committee and contact the Personnel Bureau for an interview. Someone from the publicity department called me to make an appointment on speakerphone.

Propaganda Department: "Hey, are you a pig? (Personnel Bureau)"

The other party: "No, you are mistaken. I am not a pig (Personnel Bureau) , my mother is a pig (grain bureau). "

I tried so hard to hold back my laughter that my stomach hurt.

The next day, I attended a county government briefing. Roll call before the meeting.

Moderator: "Which units have arrived?"

So the participants reported their homes one by one:

"I am a male castrate (Public Security Bureau) ). "

"My name is Pig (Education Bureau). "

"I am a bit of a pig (Post Office). Telecommunications Bureau)

3. Auntie!

Hey!

Where have the potatoes gone?

It is in the basin.

Why did you eat some sediment?

The rice was not washed!

Why are all the potatoes sprouting in the bowl?

You are the only one? You know!

Beef, potatoes, and rice are auspicious ones~~~~~~~~

Uncle!

Huh?

Kung Pao chicken with a side of cucumber.

The food is gone!

Some lamb but not too spicy.

The meat is sold out. !

What can I eat for lunch?

Let’s do it by ourselves!

An empty plate, an empty bowl, and an empty basin are auspicious ones~~ ~~~~~~

Classmate!

Oh?

Is the food in the cafeteria delicious?

Lie!

How does it feel when the food is in your mouth?

Can that soup be used to wash your face and brush your teeth? /p>

This is the truth!

Cold rice, cold dishes, and clear soup are auspicious for a family!

Tang Seng and his disciples were on a plane, and suddenly the plane broke down. Skydiving, Tang Monk said: Disciples, there are three parachutes now. Whoever can't answer the question will jump off by himself.

Tang Monk asked Sun Wukong: How many suns are there in the sky? Sun Wukong: 1< /p>

Tang Monk asked Sha Monk: How many moons are there in the sky?

Tang Monk asked Bajie: How many stars are there?

Once again, the master and the disciples were on a plane, and the plane broke down again. They still had to parachute. Tang Seng said: Let’s answer the question.

Tang Seng asked Sun Wukong: The Chinese people ***. When was the Republic of China established? Sun Wukong: 1949

Tang Monk asked Sha Monk: How many people died in the Liberation War?

Tang Monk asked Bajie: Then 250. Ten thousand people’s names? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Master, I’d better jump off the plane.

Tang Monk clasped his hands, "Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time." .