Why are parents more severe and children more rebellious?

Recently, I always hear colleagues complain that children are becoming more and more difficult to discipline: tell him to go east and he to go west; The more he was told to play less games, the more he clung to his mobile phone. Angry, yelling at children, and even hitting children, the result is that children are more opposed to their parents.

I have also encountered these problems encountered by Bao's parents. In fact, as long as you master the method, these problems will be solved. Children are not only rebellious, but also willing to cooperate with their parents.

Before sharing our experience with you, let's analyze the reasons for children's rebellion.

In fact, as long as we put ourselves in the shoes, we can analyze why we like to confront adults when we were young. Because children have to face the authority of their parents. Since you can't escape, you can only choose to resist. Explain it in a professional way, that is, "the struggle for rights."

Pay attention to the right medicine in everything and find the cause of the problem. Let's talk about how to solve the problem step by step.

Experience is more effective than giving orders.

Children don't like nagging parents. No matter how important you say, if you nag too much, they will not take it to heart. Therefore, it is recommended that children be impressed by the consequences of misconduct. When parents tell their children that the same consequences will happen next time, the children will naturally listen.

Fruit always stayed in bed before, and no matter how I tried to persuade it, I couldn't change it. I dragged my feet every time I got up and got dressed. Once, I didn't urge Guoguo to get up or force Guoguo to get dressed. I just watched the fruit slowly pick up.

As a result, Guoguo not only didn't have breakfast, but also was late for class, and was punished by the teacher. This kind of fruit is memorable. When I get up, I don't have to rush me, so I put on my clothes, packed my things, and the problem of staying in bed was eliminated.

Therefore, the correct way for children to do things well is not to tell them how to do it, but to let them experience the consequences of doing things badly.

Turn rewards and punishments into practical things.

The best thing Guoguo did in the past was to cheat and let Guoguo wash his socks. Guoguo threw them into the basin and ran away. Guoguo took a fancy to a toy in the shopping center. If it wasn't for him, he just sat on the ground and rolled around, not going away. Then I thought of a clever way to solve this problem.

If Guoguo wants toys, I will make an agreement with Guoguo. I can buy toys for Guoguo, but I need Guoguo to earn enough coins. If you wash socks yourself, you can earn a coin, and if you help dad wash socks, you can get a bonus coin.

In this way, the enthusiasm of the fruit work will be greatly improved, and each task will be rewarded accordingly. Through accumulation, the fruit will get its favorite toys. This method can make Guoguo and me win-win, so why not?

More importantly, I can also stop the fruit from doing willful things by deducting the coin of the fruit. For example, if he doesn't like to brush his teeth, I will tell him to deduct a coin if he doesn't brush his teeth. If he cherishes the coins in his hand, he will naturally brush his teeth.

But in order to solve the problem in depth, parents should understand their children's thoughts and needs, so as to guide their behavior.

Understand children's thoughts and meet their needs.

There was a time when Guoguo didn't want to go to bed early at night. No matter how coaxed and angry dad is, he just won't sleep. I think there must be a deep-seated reason why the fruit has been unwilling to compromise, but we have ignored it.

After dinner, we sat together to discuss the problem. Actually, the problem is very simple. My father and I have been busy recently, coming home late and spending less time with our children. That's why fruit depends on us refusing to sleep at night.

In this way, the problem is solved. We solemnly apologize to Guoguo, sorry that we didn't accompany Guoguo and take care of Guoguo's feelings, but Guoguo is growing up and can't lack sleep. As long as Guoguo is willing to sleep well, she will take Guoguo and her sister to the playground at the weekend. If you are very happy after hearing this, you will go to bed on time, so you don't have to worry about your parents.

Children's ideas are simple and their needs are not complicated. When children are willful and disobedient, don't blindly reward or beat and scold, understand their ideas and meet their needs, and children will naturally be considerate and sensible.

There may be times when children can't clearly express what they need, but parents know their children. As long as you can communicate well, you can help your child express his inner thoughts. Knowing this, parents can guide their children's behavior according to their needs, and there will be no unsolvable problems.

It must be a headache to have rebellious children at home. But as I said, no child is born rebellious. Incorrect educational methods will aggravate children's rebellious psychology. Every problem has its own specific reason. If we find the reason, we can find the correct solution.

Try experiential education to let children experience the possible consequences of things; Children should be rewarded for doing right, and warned and punished for doing wrong; More importantly, we should carefully understand the child's real thoughts and find out the reasons why the child is disobedient.

As parents, as long as we are willing to care and guide our children carefully, no matter how rebellious they are, they will become parents' little cotton-padded jackets!