Goldbach conjecture behind Zhang Yide's suicide depression.

A tragedy that I can't bear to look back, but I have to mention it again and again. On March 5th, 20021year, Zhang Yide, a China student from Oxford College of Emory University, an American Ivy League school, committed suicide.

An excellent "other people's child" is almost every parent's favorite. When he was in high school, he took the TOEFL test for the first time 1 14, in which reading and speaking were double full marks; Won the third prize of Duke University Mathematics Competition; He took part in bicycle races and debates and won the place. As a goalkeeper, he also won the first place in the MVP of Gongyuan Cup ... too much glory, too many victories and fame.

However, Yide, surrounded by a bright and dazzling aura, resolutely chose to leave this world. Why? Why? Countless people are asking, countless people are guessing, and countless people are asking ...

Especially, parents with children at home, seeing such an excellent child with such a tragic ending, began to waver and were confused about the ways and means of educating their children. What happened to the children? Educating children is really the most difficult problem in the world.

A full-time baby mother is in constant distress. My fourth-grade daughter is unhappy every day and is annoyed with everything. Her academic performance is also average. She passed the level of 10 when she was a child, and now she doesn't play at all, and she is determined not to play the piano. The youngest son is 6 years old, going to school soon, and is also a variety of "jobs". Sometimes she will be upset and have a feeling of "trying to strangle them all" and regret being a full-time mother.

A third-grade boy bought him a mobile phone. His father felt that he was always playing and didn't have enough learning consciousness, so he signed up for various cram schools and left them to the teacher for management. He found that this method didn't work, so he confiscated his mobile phone. He was in a bad mood and didn't go to school.

A sixth-grade boy is about to enter middle school, and his parents have repeatedly struggled and consulted. Should children go to public junior high schools or private junior high schools? Children in the eyes of parents are smart and unconscious, and learn to play tricks. They need the strict management of private school teachers and a lot of brush training. They are also worried that their children can't stand the pressure. Going to a public school, I am afraid that the teacher will let me go, the management is not strict, and my high school grades are not good. Moreover, at present, both private and public schools in Qingdao are ranked by computers, and their luck is not small. If they don't apply properly, they will "fall into the vacancy" and their children will not be able to go to high school.

……

There are too many such examples, from slow homework to game addiction, to illness, and the most serious is murder or suicide. Children's growth is slow and extremely complicated.

After seeing the report of Zhang Yide incident, my first reaction was heartache, and my second reaction was curiosity. What happened to Zhang Yide? My intuition is saying that this is the strangulation of father's love! In an instant, an image immediately came to mind-the wolf.

German philosopher hermann hesse's literary work Wolf in the Wilderness created a character named Harry harrell, who claimed to be a "werewolf" because "human nature" and "wolf nature" coexist in him, as described in the book:

Harry found himself with a "person", a world with thoughts, feelings, culture and gentle and noble character. He found himself juxtaposed with a "wolf", which is a dark world full of desire, rudeness, cruelty and vulgar character.

This vividly shows that a person has both animal instinct-desire and social construction-spiritual pursuit, which are indispensable. There are contradictions and struggles between the two, which also contribute to coexistence and are a complete personality composition.

A man who was shrouded in the umbrella of his father's love from childhood was "socialized" early, which led him to become an excellent social person. His instinctive desire has long been extinguished, and eating, drinking and being merry is an innate animal instinct. It seems that these have not been well satisfied. Imagine, does he have a chance to be spoiled and willful? Has he ever had an aggressive opportunity to vent? Has he ever seen his favorite thing, my friend? Has he ever had evil thoughts? How does he feel and think about his mistakes? Under the cover of his father's educational creed of "completely respecting his son's own choice and deciding everything", he longed for his father to say "no" to him. What kind of despair is this? ……

First, I have a "gentleman-like" father's photo, exhibition window, carefully prepared meals, interview footage, food preparation tests for welcoming guests, various exams, competitions and speeches ... What does he feel, feel and experience about all this? It is hard to imagine.

Everything is designed, shaped and carved, just like a small tree with a huge parasol. Temperature, humidity, fertilizer, etc. are all given accurately, but he is not allowed to grow up according to a person's natural endowment. His wildness, the survival instinct of human beings, was originally the foundation of animals, but it was actually "strangled", which led him to give up survival.

The human nature of "werewolf" has completely defeated the wolf nature, and human nature is nowhere to be attached.

I also thought of a virtual character-Truman, the hero in the movie The Truman Show. His world is a huge studio, his life is a huge reality show, everything around him is fake, his parents, friends and wife, and his career are all tests. He lives in the eyes of people all over the world, and his life value is appreciated, but he knows nothing about it.

When he knew the truth, he decided to leave this world. He must choose his own way of life, even if he will die.

Is Francois's inner world a wolf or a Truman, and how does depression cover him up? The reason is too complicated. Physiological heredity, family environment, academic pressure, personality type, social environment, etc. May be the last straw to crush the camel. The above ideas should be regarded as my "Goldbach conjecture".

But in any case, the tragedy of success may tell us that children's nature cannot be destroyed, and family education should conform to the law of children's physical and mental growth. Simply put, it is necessary to care for and cultivate children's sense of security, existence and value, so that they can have a happy life of self-respect, self-love and self-appreciation.

Family education should bear at least half the responsibility for the growth and socialization of minors. This view left a deep impression on me.

Children nowadays enjoy the most love and are controlled the most. Parents dare not let their children go to school alone, dare not go out to play, or even dare not let their children participate in basketball, football and other sports. The children's momentum and courage have gradually died out, and many boys have never fought since childhood. How can you expect them to grow into men's courage and courage out of thin air? Imagine that if all men in society are "sissies", the innovation and courage of the nation will degenerate until they die. This is definitely not an alarmist.

I really want to make children more "wild" and "wolf", even if they are "bandits". The academic performance of others has become the only indicator to measure one's Excellence.

As an educator, I have come into contact with too many children and parents, all of whom have a big word written on their faces-difficult. Parents' pressure, academic struggle, social anxiety ... Children are a family's greatest wealth and really need careful care and scientific upbringing. Parents need to keep learning and find suitable educational methods for their children, but the fundamental way lies in their self-growth and their full and energetic life course, which is a bright light to illuminate their life path.