Novice dad will be sad to hear 1 sentences! （Part5)

why is dad sad to hear this sentence? Dad may feel left out by mommy, feeling that mommy values children more than herself, and she has retreated from the first priority to the second. Mommy can, in other words? "Ok, ok? I don't have time to talk to you, I have to go to work on the BABY first! This sentence sounds like a direct refusal. Mommy might as well say this: "Husband, you are as important as the baby. I really want to hear what you say (affirm Dad first), but I must go to the baby first. The baby looks very uncomfortable and needs me very much. I will come back to listen to you as soon as I am busy. The most important thing is to affirm the importance of dad; Li Zhengda, a psychologist, further suggested that mommy can make it more clear in her response that she can have a good chat with her father in about a few minutes, in the afternoon or in the evening, and set a definite time, so that what she says will not sound like a direct refusal. How can dad make psychological adjustment and reinterpretation? Li Zhengda's psychologist suggested that Dad can take the initiative back, and he can directly propose to make an appointment with Mommy. For example, "Wife, you should go to work on the baby first. Do you think it will be convenient in about half an hour (a definite time)? Let's discuss it later, shall we? This is also an invitation, which not only makes mommy more psychologically prepared to arrange a plan to take care of the baby, but also feels respected, so as to maintain good communication between husband and wife. Psychologist Xiao reminded Li Zhengda to consult a psychologist and pointed out that most of the above 1 sentences reflect the anxiety and pressure of mommy in the process of taking care of her children, especially the newborn baby, which may have many reactions that are not as expected by mommy. For example, "Why does the baby keep crying when it is obvious that it has changed diapers and been fed milk?" In addition, because the newborn baby also needs mommy's care, mommy may not be able to rest and relax completely, which makes mommy's mood more likely to fluctuate. Therefore, at this time, mommy's words may be easier to blurt out without modification. If dad only listens to the superficial meaning, but doesn't hear the "middle words", it may lead to conflicts between husband and wife. Therefore, Li Zhengda's consulting psychologist has repeatedly reminded me that on the one hand, I should ask my father to give more consideration to Mommy, and understand the changes in Mommy's body, mind and life after the baby was born. On the other hand, I should remind Mommy not to ignore Dad's feeling of being neglected because his mother is concentrating on taking care of the baby. Dad also needs to be cared for at this time. If you often use impatient, questioning or aggressive language to communicate, it will easily make dad retreat more, reduce active care behavior, or even completely quit sharing the responsibility of taking care of the baby, which will make mommy more exhausted. Li Zhengda's current position: Counseling Psychologist of Yiren General Hospital, Therapist of Xingyu Psychic Clinic. Education: Master's experience in Institute of Psychology, Foguang University: Psychological Counselor of Community Mental Health Center in North City, Tutor of Qingshan Junior High School in New Taipei City, Part-time Lecturer of Zhili Technical College, Part-time Psychologist of Tamkang University, Part-time Psychologist of tfcf, Supervisor of Taiwan Province Sex Counseling and Business Association, Interview and Writing by the Juvenile and Family Court of Taoyuan District Court as a Psychologist & Photo Planning/Ao Tinglun Consulting/Li Zhengda, Counseling Psychologist of Yiren General Hospital and Therapist of Xingyu Psychiatric Clinic Photography/Pandora Professional Children Photography/／Amber Performance/／mommy：Meg, daddy：Jerry, baby: Dafa * For more details, please refer to: Parenting Life September 215. Mababy/newkm/* official website of parenting life. Mababy/ Subscribe to the healthy Aloha audio-visual channel, read health knowledge more easily, and pay attention to your health every day! Line @ ID: @:/supply/article/2327/Ten sentences that novice dad will be sad when he hears it (Part5 Keywords: September issue of baby and mother, novice dad, Yiren General Hospital, Xing Yu Mind Clinic)