When I sing this song, I think of you again

Text/Da Miao Xiaoxin

When I was seventeen years old, it was really good to think about it. The world was so wonderful, the sun was so high, the love was so strong, the air was so sweet, and the person I liked When I smile, my heart melts.

I have never liked telling this story about when I was seventeen, because she filled my entire youth until she finally left me, and even now, I still miss her.

I don’t know why, but when I think back to those days, sometimes I feel regretful, sometimes I laugh inexplicably, and sometimes I feel sad...

In life , I am a person of few words. Some friends think that I have been in love, some don’t believe it, but love can also change a person.

"Ten years are two vast distances apart. Without thinking about it, we will never forget it."

When I was 17 years old, that is, last year, I fell in love with a girl. That was my first love. .

Say good morning and good night to her on time every day, care about this and that every day, check whether her WiFi is online every day, see what her QQ signature says, what she ate today, and what happened today Things, are you happy today? Sometimes I feel like I am not her boyfriend, but her relative.

My friend brought her to my house. That was the first time I met her. She was not good at words but liked to laugh. Maybe meeting her was just time and space, just like "Your Name" Same, just a coincidence, an accident.

I like chatting with her and having fun. She likes to laugh, so I always find some funny videos to show her. When she laughs, I feel very happy.

The school where I went to high school is a complete middle school, that is, the junior high school and high school are in the same school. She is in the same school as me, but is two grades younger than me. I am in the second grade of high school and she is in the third grade of junior high school. That's right, they are senior brother and junior sister.

In fact, this doesn’t matter. After all, not many people get married at the same age.

Just a friend of mine asked why he fell in love with a girl from a different class. Some friends also said: I am an old cow eating young grass.

In fact, if a person is in love, he will not care about so much. There are many old ladies who are still married to young men! In fact, true love has no age limit.

We often go home together after school, but we rarely talk on the way, maybe because we are not familiar with each other.

During the final exam, she told me: "I dreamed of you last night, and you said something to me."

"What did I say?"< /p>

"If you don't say it, you can't say it."

"Then will you say it in the future?"

"Maybe."

"Then do you want it to come true?"

"I don't know"

In fact, I already guessed what I said to her at that time, because I believe in the saying "People I understand Kazuto’s dreams, and if I can’t say it in reality, I will tell her in my dream.”

Yes, I already liked her at that time, but I just kept it in my heart, hoping for her. You know, then I can tell her. I'm also afraid that she will know, and I'm afraid that once she knows, she won't be able to be friends.

In fact, many times we like someone unconsciously. An action or an expression may become a condition for liking someone. "Some people can't be said to be good, but no one can replace them."

At that time, I left her two messages. She must not understand them because they are special numbers. In fact, they mean "I like you".

On the Spring Festival, I confessed my love to her with the determination to die. I thought it was hopeless, but we ended up getting together.

In fact, after being together, they are no different from other couples. They talk about love every day, make each other laugh every day, and care about each other's lives.

But unlike other couples, I spent my time in happiness and sadness, intimacy and loneliness. Those days filled me throughout 2016.

We only go out alone on Saturdays every week, although we can often see each other at school.

As for why I feel lonely and sad, I actually can’t explain it, it’s too fragmentary.

But in general, it has a lot to do with my personality and behavior.

No matter who I treat, I treat everyone the same. As long as he treats me well, I will treat him twice as well. What's more, it's even more so when it's the one you love.

Later on, our relationship got better and better. For a while, I thought that we could change from school uniforms to formal wear, from youth to age, holding hands and growing old together.

I love her and hide her in my heart like a treasure, afraid that others will take her away. She is like an angel in my heart. In order to be with her, I constantly improve myself and make myself better.

I love her so much that I give her my heart and even some of my precious time. But she seemed to be gradually becoming unwilling and no longer cared about me as much as before. So I felt that I was wrong, that I was not good, and then I felt sad.

Yes, I love her, so much that even my own world has become her world, so much love that even I have lost my direction, so much love that I am no longer myself, and I have become nothing. Human bottom line.

She passed through my youth and gave me a lot of feelings and life that I had never had before.

Later she broke up with me. The reason was very simple and cliche: "We are not suitable."

But at that time, I still refused to give up, and every day was still the same as before.

It’s just that I was afraid of losing her. During those days, I spent almost every day in sadness, and crying was common. If a man cries often, you may feel weak, maybe! In front of love, I live like a dog.

Later, I continued to care about her. After she took the high school entrance examination, I confessed my love to her again and we were together again.

Later, she cared more about me. We were still the same as before, and I still believed that some things could be restored. However, her position in my heart is still irreplaceable. She has become more and more mature and cares more about my feelings. There was a time when I felt like we would never be apart again. But...

She broke up with me again, but I still like her. It's just that I have been disappointed again and again, and sad again and again. I am tired and my heart is tired. But I still persisted and we are still together.

I gradually feel like a dog. In front of love, there is no one myself, no world, no principles, no bottom line, only her.

My friend advised me that I should let go as soon as possible. If this continues, I will only sink deeper and deeper.

But I am not willing to give in! Why can't people who like each other be together?

My friend said, is it worth it? She did that to you.

I said, if it wasn’t worth it, I wouldn’t do it, but for her, I would.

My friend said that if we break up, he will never get back together, no matter how much he loves her, because problems between you will one day arise.

I said, I understand, and I still want to give it a try at first.

She broke up with me four times, yes four times, I was with her four times, I am a crazy person.

Later, she finally deleted me without saying a word. That day was October 28th, and today is February 11th.

For a while, I thought I could grow old together with her. I held her hand, I hugged her, and I kissed her.

She read me a book called "We All Cried Later". I think in the end, I was the only one who cried!

Later on, I still texted her from time to time. I believed in miracles, and I believed that we were separated like this.

Until one day, she said something unpleasant to me. That day I swore that if I looked at her one more time, I would not be human.

Yes, I am really not a human being anymore.

Sometimes when I see her at school, I will still deliberately look at her, and even deliberately look for her back. I can find her back among the crowds of people at a glance. There was still description on her face, but I could only watch her sigh, remembering the previous scenes, and then feeling inexplicably sad.

I really like watching those youth romance dramas, such as "The Best of Us" and "Fifteen Years of Waiting for Migratory Birds". But now, I am particularly afraid of watching these, afraid that if I make a mistake, I will touch the sadness in my heart.

Sometimes during class, I would always think of her and remain silent.

Now we are strangers, she has her life, and I have mine, but no matter what, I hope that each other can live better and better.

"Actually, it doesn't have to be you, it's just better to have you."

Now I often learn about her life through her friends, how is she now, and how is she doing? Okay, are you happy or not... But I have to gradually get used to the life without her, "Many people don't need to see each other again, because they are just passing by. Forgetting is giving each other the best memories."

In fact, I always wonder why I still miss her when she treats me like that.

In 2016, I did not have a good life. I experienced joy and pain, happiness and pain.

2016 was the year I cried the most since I became sensible.

In 2016, I am grateful to some friends who accompanied me through that period when I was sad.

Now, I also have things that I like, such as writing, photography... So I hope that we can all work hard, for ourselves and for that person in the future.

I don’t regret the days I spent with you, even if it was a mixture of joy and sorrow. But because of you, my youth will become more complete.

She said, "No matter what, don't forget your original dream, and don't forget the person you want to be."

I also want to give you this sentence today, no matter what Whether you are with the person you like in the future, I hope you will not forget your bottom line, your original intention, and the person you once dreamed of becoming.

Time will take you to meet the right person, learn to love yourself before loving others

"You are the joy of youth, and the boy I like is you. You are my dream that I cannot live up to. , it is you who I am not as good as.

”