When children’s interests change

Pictures｜Photography by Huang Jianbin Pictures｜Photography by Huang Jianbin

Changing messages When you find that your child’s interests change every day, you are always unable to maintain and focus on a specific Interested. At this time, you may want to think about whether the child has never been able to find fun in the things he is exposed to, or whether the child lacks purpose, or needs help in maintaining concentration. ? The phenomenon of frequently changing interests is like a child eating a cake, only briefly tasting the cream, chocolate, caramel, fruit on the upper surface, or just playing with the decorations on it. Instead of savoring the mellow, rich, light and fluffy taste of the whole cake, we also ignored the assorted fruits, egg pudding or taro fillings inside the cake. At this time, the children have less chance to become familiar with and like the cake. This phenomenon is often seen in children with attention deficit. ? Of course, some children who lack goal orientation are at a loss when it comes to the activities or things in front of them, and they don’t know what they are doing. This situation is especially likely to occur in forcedly arranged activities. For example, when you seem to be filling up your calendar, arranging this and arranging that, you are faced with a wave of activities determined by others, whether it is abacus or Go, bare-handed or taekwondo, piano or violin, painting or handicraft, Science experiments or English conversation, etc. If children are just forced to accept these activities without thinking about their own appetites or preferences, and do not know the purpose of doing these, of course it will be difficult to maintain sustainability. ? Due to the extension period, you may be confused, "But these activities that are exchanged are all what the child said on his own initiative, and I didn't force him!" When encountering such a phenomenon, it is recommended that you do one activity at a time When doing so, agree with your child in advance on the extension period. As with an exhibition, the child can only continue with that activity, at least for that period of time. It is forbidden to arrange new activities before the exhibition period. ? Original intention of participation Of course, in the process of adopting time limits, how to continue to guide children to find or maintain their original intention of participation is where parents and children can work together. For example, the child’s initial purpose in asking to participate in Taekwondo? “Mom, I really want to practice Taekwondo, because this way my hands and feet will be neater and I have a better stance, so my classmates at school will be less afraid to bully me.” “Dad, you know I can do Taekwondo.” "They all look so awesome, and I really want to practice my courage." "Mom, my dear Moji, they all go to practice Taekwondo after school, and I really want to go kick a kick with them." You will find that each child’s original intention is different. ? When a child wants to give up his immediate interest, has he already reached or completed his original expectations? If not, what do the children have to say? ? Reasons for giving up When deciding to let your child participate in certain activities, in addition to listening to his original motivation and purpose for participating. When your child starts to lose interest after being exposed to it for a while, or his eyes drift to other interests, then ask him to tell you the reason for giving up in detail, and don't change the topic to the next activity with him. The more specific you can ask him to explain, the better. Although the answers you may get are "it's not fun" and "it's boring", these will not be accepted for now. If the child never gives a reason, what exactly is he trying to tell us? ? Get to the bottom of things If your child keeps asking excuses like "it's not fun" and "it's boring", then you have to use the spirit of getting to the bottom of things and ask, "What's not fun?" "Where's the boredom?" Break the casserole and ask the truth to help children practice facing the problems they encounter and understand the essence of the things they come into contact with. Keep digging deeper and you'll find out why. ? Find out the three-minute hot bug Yes, from the process of continuing to look inside and delve deeper. Gradually, work with your children to find out the core points of each change of interest, whether there are any common intersections, or the crux of the problem that needs to be improved, like the three-minute hot bug. ? For example, some children are very intolerant of repetitive actions or being asked to do so, and their attention span is short, distracted, and easily irritable. If the child's phenomenon is not limited to empty-handed or taekwondo, snakeboard or rollerblading, or participating in some music playing activities, whether it is piano, violin, ukulele, erhu, guzheng, etc., or other things, etc. They all showed up and asked to change. ? Solving the core of the problem If you are lucky, parents and children find the core of the problem that interests are exchanged. At this time, the thing to do may not be to find the next interest, but to find a solution to the problem. For example, whether the child is distracted, distracted, has a short attention span, or is easily attracted to irrelevant information due to attention deficit. ? At this time, you can try to adopt a segmented approach to the activity. For example, the original practice unit is one hour, and it is adjusted to every 15 minutes or every 30 minutes. This part varies from child to child. At the same time, give specific feedback in a timely manner, even if it is a child's subtle performance. Let the children see the good performance they have maintained in each segment, which will help the children continue to find their own fun and confidence in the activity. ? Then, repeat, repeat. Because repetition is the most basic principle for proficiency in many things. This is just like the "10,000 hours rule". Some things, without those 10,000 hours of tempering, are difficult to improve professionally.

? The article is excerpted from "Dismantling Children's Youth Landmines" ? ＊ This article is authorized to be published by Wang Yizhong's blog and is not reprinted without permission

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