Please, Degang Guo, you must marry me.

Y: it's full

Guo: All the empty seats are full.

Y: There is such a calculation.

Guo: We lost a lot of time today, and some roads are still restricted (Beijing National Day is restricted, and the subway is long gone).

Yes

Guo: Can we talk less?

(The audience can't shout well ...)

Guo: One by one.

If you are not afraid, I am more afraid.

Don't shh, you are all people with ID cards.

Many people came today, thousands of people.

Y: many people.

Guo: Yes, it's from the whole family.

Yes

Guo: Some even brought children.

Y: Yes, a family!

Guo: Some even brought their wives ... and some even brought other people's wives.

Y: You can see that.

Guo: Look at your hands. Who brought someone else's wife?

Y: You really raised your hand! ..... this is throwing caution to the wind.

Guo: Like a modest wife?

Y: who is it?

My daughter-in-law went to the theatre ...

Guo: I went to the theatre with others. ...

No matter who you bring, I hope you are happy.

Some people say that Brother Qian is not angry.

Y: Hey, it's okay in this business.

Guo: When filming, Brother Qian went to perform, and the contact between actors and actresses was normal, because of work. Anyway, in recent years, they sometimes quarrel over these things.

Y: no

Guo: Sister-in-law asked ... There are no windtight pants in the world.

Yes, you always wear open-backed pants, don't you?

Guo: I can't get through, I can't get through, there's nothing I can't get through.

Y: wall!

Guo: Sister-in-law also asked, "What's the matter? Look at the photo of that day, what happened to a photo taken with the actress? "

Y: What's the big deal?

Guo: Hey, take part in accidental amusement!

Y: right.

Guo: Take part in accidental amusement, and my sister-in-law is happy. "This is a series!"

Y: I always do, don't I?

Guo: Anyway, no matter what my sister-in-law says, Brother Qian is in no hurry.

Y: that's true.

Guo: I didn't stare, I didn't sulk, I didn't move my hand.

Y: I call it regret.

Guo: Which bathhouse?

Y: What's the bathhouse for?

Guo: You mean Lianxiang bathing?

Y: How about going to this place?

Guo: You mean Lianxiang bathing?

Jade: cherish the fragrance and cherish the jade.

Guo: Xiyu, everyone wants to have a good family and find a suitable partner, but it's hard to say.

Y: it's hard to find.

Guo: Take women as an example. Beauty does not go to the kitchen.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Let's go to the kitchen. Not fashionable.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Fashion people spend money recklessly.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: If you don't spend money, you won't be feminine.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: I can't stand being feminine.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: I can't see the one I can see.

Y: Well, not at all.

Guo: Everyone wants to have a happy marriage. Many poems from ancient times to the present have written this theme.

Y: Are there many?

Guo: Alas, Guan Luoluo's pigeons are both my fair lady and my fair gentleman in the Jianghu.

Y: This is a famous passage.

Guo: I live at the head of the Yangtze River and you live at the end of the Yangtze River. (This seems to be a sentence changed in Pan Changjiang's essay "Crossing the River". . . Is there a boat?

Y: no! What is this? this is

Guo: I remember that ancient poets wrote many such things.

Y: This is not among the ancient poems.

Guo: Actually, I also hope to have a good marriage.

Y: you?

Guo: I have a good painting in front of me, a very happy oil painting. The sky is clear, the flowers are overflowing, the streams are gurgling, the forest is green, and some seagulls are flying by the river. ...

Y: Wait a minute ... Are there seagulls by the river?

Guo: At the seaside, some seagulls are flying by the sea. ...

Y: Don't ask people to talk, all of you.

Guo: Anyway, some birds flew by.

Y: that's all right.

Guo: On the tree-lined path, the princess and the prince walked slowly hand in hand, followed by a white horse, strolling while eating grass, and the prince sang softly.

What did you sing?

Guo: "The diesel I drilled came from the well. . . (It should be a song sung by oil workers when they exploit oil)

Y: Well, you'd better go to work.

Guo: sesame oil?

Y: What about diesel?

Guo: Diesel sesame oil?

Y: oil! ..... nobody sings this.

Guo: The oil prince of Saudi Arabia.

Yu:

Guo: When we got there, everyone sang, "Our motherland is a garden. The flowers in the garden are really bright, and the Dutch sunshine shines on us ..."

Y: I don't know any words.

Guo: What a beautiful word! The Dutch sun shines on his face, but none of the American sun shines on his face.

Yu:

Guo: Everything is like a fairy tale. The prince and princess began a life without shame. . .

Y: a life without shame.

Guo: This is my illusion. I had a girlfriend that year.

Y: I handed it in, too

Guo: Her name is Shuang. Although I don't know her last name, her name is Shuang ... whenever I go to their house to find her, I stand at the bottom of the building and shout "Shuang! Cool! " Do you know how many people in the community pushed the window to see it?

Y: People don't know what you are doing.

Guo: Call her name.

Y: Is this swearing? this is

Guo: She is gentle and lovely. She works as Miss Guan Gong in a sales company.

Y: Don't ask, your girlfriend is a red face. What do you mean by Miss Guan Gong?

Guo: What's that? Anyway, this is Miss Guan Gong.

Y: Miss PR, that's called.

Guo: Almost, almost ... When we are free, we sit together and chat, play Go and have tea.

Y: Give the tea back.

Guo: Now I think it's called (I didn't catch it clearly). There is incense burning at the edge of the room, so we sit opposite each other.

Y: too particular.

Guo: Open a good jar of Tieguanyin, put the water in it and pour it with boiling water. The first bubble (four tones) is poured out, and the water for making tea cannot be drunk.

Yes

Guo: We started drinking from the second bubble (1) ... and drank one bubble after another. ...

Y: You two are so embarrassing.

Guo: after drinking one bubble after another ... you didn't drink tea, did you?

Y: I have tried it, but it doesn't taste like yours.

Guo: You have to look at the color.

Y: how fresh!

Guo: It was yellow at first, and then it stopped.

Y: that's angry. That's ... drinking tea after tea.

Guo: I didn't expect your low pursuit, one bubble (four tones) and one bubble (one sound)

Y: Don't be vague.

Guo: I will take good care of her.

Yes

Guo: She also mentioned this point.

Y: really?

Guo: She said to me affectionately, "You are so kind to me. In the next life, when I am a cow or a horse, I will also please you. "

Y: (I didn't hear you clearly)

Guo: Am I a cow or a horse?

Y: Isn't that still two?

Guo: The good times have passed, and we often quarrel.

Y: still playing?

Guo: It's very noisy.

She accused me of being "heartless and unreasonable"

I said, "You are heartless and unreasonable."

Who are you calling heartless?

I call you heartless and unreasonable.

You are heartless and unreasonable.

I am not heartless and unreasonable.

Call me heartless and unreasonable, but I'm not as heartless and unreasonable as you.

I'm not heartless at all. When it comes to heartlessness, that means you are heartless and unreasonable. ...

Y: Which woman did you marry as a crosstalk performer?

Guo: After the quarrel, we broke up.

Y: that's right.

Guo: She left me a note "Don't look for me again, I'm dead".

Y: dead ...

Guo: If I say something that hurts my feelings, I will be silly. It was a bolt from the blue, and my shorts rang.

Y: bang? What's the sound of underwear?

Guo: The man said, "Ah, what, did the underpants ring?"

Y: There is no pronunciation in this place, okay? Keshika ... K ū ch ā is outrageous!

Guo: Don't mess with me.

Y: Who pissed you off?

Guo: This is lyrical.

Y: What are you expressing? Your pants are too short.

Guo: I love it. She died, and I went to the community to find her.

Y: still looking for it.

Guo: I stood at the bottom of the building and cried with tears: "Cool, cool ..." More people saw it.

Y: How fresh, different stages. this is

Guo: This smelly rascal ... has no taste in his heart, and everyone who is confused knows it.

Y: people who lost their lives?

Guo: Is there something wrong?

Y: lovelorn!

Guo: Oh, lovelorn? I feel very sad. I have never found a girlfriend since I came here.

Y: yo.

Guo: Later, many people advised me. I said don't talk to me. My heart is dead. Time flies. Maybe time is the best medicine. I began to think that I would never fall in love again.

Y: huh?

Guo: Day by day passed, and on the third day I figured it out.

Y: Just keep silent for three days.

Guo: I didn't find the right one three days ago.

Y: I don't care about my feelings at all.

Guo: Alas, when I walked into the community, I looked up inadvertently and a girl waved to me.

Y: Say hello ... meet the right person.

Guo: I learned later ... people are cleaning the windows.

Y: cough! You don't look at the towel in your hand, only when your hand is closed.

Guo: I suddenly feel that my spring is coming again.

Y: oh ...

Guo: I waited for her at the gate of the community, and finally I saw her. She was graceful and beautiful.

Y: not bad.

Guo: I walked over and stretched my legs like a gentleman ... Bang, I fell there.

Y: wow! Gentlemen still do this.

Guo: Reach out and help her "Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person" ... No.

Y: Nonsense, you are telling the truth.

Guo: She stood up and walked away.

Y: I ignored you.

Guo: I froze when I looked at her back. It's beautiful.

Y: oh?

Guo: Such a beautiful beauty is rare in the world. It looks like a fairy with a beautiful mouth and a beautiful waist. It looks like a flower and a beautiful moon. But when I think that this is not a flat peach banquet, how can Chang 'e leave the cold of the moon? She is like Nanshan picking oranges and Gillian girl. I am like Edison Chen. ...

Y: what are you? Singing and singing, these two came out again.

Guo: Make up your mind and I'll go after her.

Y: to pursue others.

Guo: In a residential area, it is very convenient to catch up. She buys newspapers as soon as she leaves the neighborhood, and so do I! "What a coincidence, you also buy newspapers."

Y: I ignored you.

Guo: I left ... the bus stopped at the gate, waiting for "what a coincidence, you are waiting for the bus" ... I met "what a coincidence, you also visited the supermarket" in the supermarket across the street.

Y: hey.

Guo: I came out to wash my hands in the toilet. "What a coincidence, did you pee on your hand, too?"

Y: If she can really pee on you, are you still chasing others?

Guo: Why are you so sympathetic? You are dirty, you know that!

Y: Is it that close?

Guo: The girl stood there and asked me, "What the hell are you doing?"

Y: You made it very clear.

Guo: "I like you very much. If you think I'm not good, I'll change. " The girl nodded. "If you think I'm good, I'll change ..."

Y: It's not dramatic at all.

Guo: I failed again. In a good mood, someone introduced me to a girlfriend.

Y: Draw a portrait.

Guo: Let's meet outside. The weather is clear, the wooden pages are completely off, the west wind rises, and the geese fly north and south. It is already late autumn.

Y: it's cold.

Guo: The two of us are sitting on a big bench in the park. I visited her carefully, 1.4 meters or so.

Y: it matches well.

Guo: Little face, purple.

Y: purple?

Guo: She has freckles. I wonder if she speaks for Lu. Her appearance has exceeded people's imagination. This woman is too easy to recognize, post-modern style, must have the blood of Transformers. She was stunned for a long time: Oh.

Guo: She took the initiative to break the deadlock. "Hello", let me see her.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Are you the "rescue soldier invited by the monkey"?

Y: (I didn't hear you clearly)

Guo: The girl said my online name was "Rejection" ... Oh, I didn't expect my name to be so different from mine. The screen name is "Reject", which means it is very noble.

Y: refuse.

Guo: Why is there such a screen name? I think it's better to call it rejection, and radical is more subtle.

Y: What about removing the radicals?

Guo: Juse ... Ahahaha ... How easygoing. . . Although I am fat, my waist is thin. Although I am ugly, my nickname is beautiful.

Girl, how much do you weigh?

260 ...

Only later did I know that I had been cheated.

Y: what's the matter

K: The scale will reach 260 Jin.

Y: hit the head.

Guo: Girl, I really admire you. You are such a man.

Y: what's this?

Guo: She was so happy that she took out a razor from her pocket. ...

Y: What a rash!

Guo: Really, I took nude photos the other day and posted them online.

Y: and you? How's it going?

Guo: I didn't expect the post to sink.

Y: Well, nobody wants to be naked.

Guo: How to talk! She is a jumping girl. ...

Y: I haven't heard that girls in Great Leap wear razors.

Guo: Take out a box of cigarettes and spit out a smoke ring ... To tell the truth, I have never seen such a good smoke ring in so many years, which is big and round ... One more, one more ... I like it.

Okay, okay (vomiting, convulsions)

spit everywhere/spit on the floor

I dare not say a word, and she stayed here. Someone came and drew a circle on her face and wrote the word "demolition"

Y: well, I really can't watch it anymore.

Guo: I think they have gone a little too far. I'm very angry about it. She was so grateful that she landed gently on my shoulder. A photographer came and took a photo, which was later named "Ghost".

Y: Wow, so poor.

Guo: As soon as this photo spread, Saddam boasted:

Y: Did Saddam's feelings die like this?

Guo: There is nothing to say after sitting for a long time. He asked me, "Are you hungry? I said, "No, I have a bad stomach. I met dream of eating yesterday, but I found my shoelaces missing this morning. "

Y: Is this a dream? This is a night outing. No!

Guo: I'm not hungry ... Let's go to dinner. Take me away. We walked hand in hand. A friend came from the opposite side and looked at me happily. "Newly bought Tibetan mastiff?"

Y: Well, he looks like a dog.

Guo: so sympathetic ... I'm looking for a restaurant. I'm going in. The waiter stopped me. "Sir, we don't allow pets here." I said, take a closer look at this ... come in and sit opposite. It's very emotional. I ordered an aged peanut, a fried red fruit and a cup of apple vinegar for each of us.

Y: eat this.

Guo: I am jealous.

Y: Look what she sees.

Guo: After eating for a while, suddenly she asked, "Are you going to marry me? How many times should we get married? "

I was stunned at that time, and I was sweating. I said let's stop joking. I may not be right for you.

Don't worry, I can accept you. Think about it. How educational it would be if I followed you.

I understand what he said. If I marry her, I will donate money to the Red Cross.

Y: huh?

Guo: It's just like building the Great Wall. It's like apologizing for hiding secrets and squeezing oil.

Hey, how are you?

Guo: I said no! I don't go to hell, who loves to go underwater!

She was also anxious and patted the table. "If you don't marry me, I'll find someone to marry here!"

Here comes the restaurant owner. "No, all your guests have run away?"

Y: Everyone is afraid of marrying her.

Guo: I said go, I won't go, you will lose my youth!

Y: That's what I said.

Guo: I said, where can you lose this day? Please quote.

A thousand dollars!

Y: not much.

Guo: I'm really in a hurry. Tigers don't send cats. You think I'm dying?

Y: Shit, what are you?

Guo: I was so angry that I couldn't speak. How could you do that? Let's make an offer.

She said no problem. I looked out the window and said it was ok. Let's listen to Yu Qian.

Y: I'm outside

Guo: There is a statue of Teacher Yu outside. Many viewers and fans like teachers. We made many statues for Mr. Yu, dressed him in a suit, and greeted the audience with the back of our hands here ... it depends on the teacher. Let's set it at 500, shall we?

Y: Does this mean 500? Is this a greeting?

Guo: You say 1000, I'll give you 500.

What happened? Pork is going up in price. This is 500 dollars.

I said pork is still edible. Look at you. Is it useful?

Okay, tomorrow.

Tomorrow, at ten o'clock tomorrow morning, in front of the statue of the teacher, pay the money.

Y: well, give the money.

Guo: I don't think it's worthwhile for her to leave. Where can I walk my dog for 500 yuan a day? Find a friend, hurry up, see the statue of Yu Qian, knock off three with your fingers and give two hundred.

Y: me.

Guo: Alas, the arrangement is finished. We met under the statue at ten o'clock the next morning and gave her two hundred dollars to take away.

Why?

With what? Teacher Yu said to pay 200 yuan.

You look up, you look up at the air, and this hand is like this ...

Y: knock on these three!

Guo: Type these three out.

Y: Hey, all right, another hundred.

Guo: She was overjoyed, 600 yuan. Teacher Yu asked her to give 600 yuan.

Y: These two people are really obedient.

Guo: I am so angry. Oh, I can't. After giving it to someone else, I turned to my friend ... you are so evil. I'll let you knock three times. Do you know that I spent too much money?

Y: hey.

Guo: You think it's cheaper to call here when you hear that he is happy.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: You have to pay 800 yuan for this. ...

They are all classics