Question: A humorous joke with a question and answer.

Question: A humorous joke with a question and answer. A man just closed the door when he went to the toilet and heard the next door ask, are you there?

He said, yes, but he thought, who is next door? Do I know him? Strange!

Then the next door asked, what are you doing here?

He said angrily, damn it What can you do here? !

The next door asked, when are you leaving?

He thought: this person is probably a mental derangement! He said with chagrin, just pull and go!

At this time, the next door asked again, will you come to me later?

The man was surprised: Cao! So it's gay!

He cursed: Fuck you, pervert!

The next door said, well, hang up first and call you back. There is a fool next to me! Old * * * greets us!

Husband: What time is it?

Wife: Ten o'clock.

Husband: Is it complete?

Wife: It's too early. No one else is sleeping!

Husband: I mean ten o'clock sharp?

Wife: Eleven o'clock then.

Husband: * * *, I asked you if it was 1 0 sharp.

Wife: * * *, on the hour 1 1, it's hard not to fuck me for a day, isn't it?

Husband: I'm just asking, is it 1 0 o'clock sharp?

Wife: fix it, fix it now!

Why Panasonic is not as powerful as Sony? 09 super brain teaser 1 answer: Panasonic (afraid of Sony)

Who is taller, 2 A or C? Answer: C is higher (because ABCD A is lower than C)

Jasmine, sunflower and rose, which flower is the weakest? Answer: Jasmine (a delicate [beautiful] jasmine)

What line do orangutans hate most? Answer: parallel lines. Parallel lines do not intersect (banana)

Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin? Answer: Eraser. (Rubber difference)

What are you afraid of? A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand. (Not afraid of 10 thousand, just afraid of one thousand)

What will Kirin become when it flies to the North Pole? Answer: ice cream. Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn)

8 1234567890 which number is the most industrious and which number is the laziest? Answer: 1 lazy; 2 work hard. (1, don't do it, don't stop)

How to make sparrows quiet? Answer: Click. Reason: silence.

10 What is white plus white? Answer: White rabbits (two)

1 1 Skip ~

12 If there is a car, Xiaoming is the driver, Xiaohua sits on his right and Xiaohua sits behind him. Whose car is this? Answer: "If".

13 A wolf came to the North Pole and accidentally fell into the sea of ice. What did he become when he was fished out? Answer: betel nut

14 Four people are playing mahjong in the house. The police came and took five people away. Why? Answer: Because the person they play is called Mahjong.

15 why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high? Answer: Because the stars will "flash"

One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him. Why don't they say hello? Answer: Because I am unfamiliar.

17 A fat man jumped from a tall building. And the result? Answer: Fatty.

18 chocolate fights with tomatoes, and chocolate wins. Why? Answer: Because of chocolate bars.

19 Two people fell into a trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living? Answer: Call for help.

A shark ate a mung bean. What has it become? Answer: mung bean paste (mung bean shark)

Do these meet your requirements? The landlord doesn't like me to find them again!

Ask a funny question and answer (joke). 1 Question: Jasmine, sunflower and rose, which flower is the weakest?

Answer: Molly.

Reason: What a beautiful (powerless) jasmine.

2. Question: What is the pencil's surname?

A: Xiao.

Reason: Sharpen (sharpen) the pencil.

3. Question: What line do orangutans hate most?

Answer: parallel lines.

Cause: Parallel lines do not intersect (banana).

4. Question: Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?

Answer: Eraser.

Cause: Eraser (rubber difference).

5. Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

6. Question: What will Kirin become when it arrives at the North Pole?

Answer: ice cream.

Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn).

7. Question: Which historical figure should be beaten the most?

Answer: Su Wu.

Reason: Su Wu was herding sheep by the North Sea (being beaten by the sea).

8. Question: From 1 to 9, which number is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?

Answer: 1 lazy; 2 work hard.

Reason: One (1) does not do two (2) endlessly.

9. Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

Answer: Click.

Reason: Silence (silence).

10. Question: Who runs fastest in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: Speak of the devil.

1 1. Q: Who is Mi's mother?

Answer: flowers

Reason: peanuts

12. Question: What is white plus white?

Answer: equal to the white rabbit.

Reason: Xiaobai No.2

13. Question: 30-50 which number is worse than bear shit! !

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than words.

14. Question: What should I do if the pigs in the pigsty run out?

Answer: Wang Leehom.

Reason: to coax.

Question: What if I come out again?

The answer is: Han Hong.

Reason: Still coax.

how much is it? How troublesome is it for users to ask and answer? How much juice do you ask and answer? How much trouble is it to ask and answer? How much is the juice? How much is the semicircle niche?

What's the price here? The latter depends on this thing. Be verbs change with the change of noun plural, while nouns such as this, this, that, this and before need to be judged according to the specific context.

I wish you progress. No, you can ask me again.

Ask for some humorous jokes and 50 hilarious slips of the tongue.

1 unit, a leader said, "I wish you good health ..." Holding your breath, there was nothing to say.

Once I booked a hotel for my boss and wanted to ask if there were any services such as free internet access, but I couldn't figure out how to say it, so I asked him, "Do you have any special services here?" "

The other party: "What? Special service We are a regular hotel! "

-__-! ! ! !

Third, the old four in the dormitory got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. No, I asked everyone: Where are my slippers?

4 shopping, suddenly my friend exclaimed: "Wow! Virgin bookstore! "I was frightened. I looked up and saw a plaque with four big characters written on it.

-Foreign language bookstore-_ _!

I once went to buy mutton kebabs.

Hold out four fingers and say "three kebabs" to the boss.

The boss received "How much?"

I held out three more fingers and said "four" ...

Our general manager is surnamed Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..."

My surname is Zhu, the computer room of the management unit. Someone once called my mobile phone: "Sir Chicken, are you in the pigsty?" I was yelling at that guy.

8 Waiting in line in the canteen, I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" " "(Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed and sprayed soup.

One day, I ate slowly in the rice noodle shop and was hungry.

Finally, I couldn't bear to strike the table and roar. I wanted to say no to rice noodles, so I lifted the table!

The result said, "Boss! ! ! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! ! ! "

The whole store was silent for 3 seconds, and then burst into laughter under the table ... shame. ...

10 My parents quarreled, and my father said angrily, "I'll go out!"

1 1 High school plays basketball. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball, A shouted to pass it to him, but B threw it himself. As a result, A shouted angrily: I was really blind just now. ...

Full laughter

In the impression of 12, the monitor in primary school was extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. After several times of maintaining order, the monitor was finally fed up. He stood up, patted the table and shouted, whoever makes any more noise will break his mouth! ! ! ..... class be quiet.

When we were in 13 university, we asked a buddy how Manchester United was. He said excitedly, "Manchester United lost and Beckham took two yellow plates!" "

14 Don't work in porcelain without a golden hoop.

15 When I was in college, a teacher gave a lecture and talked about a new type of material, saying, "The sexual function of this material can't be compared with that of the old material ... Oh, no, efficiency and function ..."

16 just went to college for military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"

17 when I was in college, I heard a girl order: master, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour potato shreds, not potatoes!

18 When I was a sophomore, our Chinese teacher was an old teacher who had just transferred from Nanchang to Beijing. He has a strong accent. His son is attached to the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua, which is also the purpose of his coming to Beijing. He is very proud of his son and always tells us about his son. Every time, he said, "My moth (son) is from the Department of Frog (Tsinghua) and Toad (Architecture).

If moths jump on frogs and toads, won't they become snacks? ...

19 cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots: "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!" " "

A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied: add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! All the staff burst into laughter! I haven't reacted yet ~ ~ ~ ~!

Author: New Materialist Philosophy 2007-8-23 0 1:05 Reply to this speech

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2 Reply: 50 hilarious slips of the tongue

When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate.

I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago. . . "

What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student. "

Just after school started 10 minutes, my deskmate raised her hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet.

The English teacher said unhappily: How old are you to go to the toilet?

I have a classmate who has been reviewing the computer level 3 exam. One day, while playing football, another classmate took the ball to the bottom line and only heard him shout: Enter! Get back in the car! (in the middle)

I remember once buying a fruit called Elizabeth. I opened my mouth and said, boss, how much is Shakespeare? The boss froze on the spot.

The physics teacher said, "It's a thick spring. I pushed from both ends to see if there was any densification (constipation). "

Listen to your classmates,

Once a girl in her dormitory went to buy sanitary napkins.

Say to the boss: a pack of sanitary napkins.

The boss actually asked: Do you want three delicacies or spicy food?

Then the classmate paused and said, Sam Hsien, I'm afraid I can't stand spicy food. . .

26. Senior college student, late for educational psychology ... walked into the classroom and glanced at the blackboard. The old professor was angry and asked her to answer the questions on the blackboard. Senior sister faltered for a long time and said, "This is too difficult to talk about." The whole class is nervous. (note. Professor's original title:)

A very good male classmate of mine fell to the ground. I asked a question to show my concern: "Did it hurt when you fell?" As a result, I accidentally said, "You fell dead." Khan ~ ~ The brother stood up, patted him, farted and said, "He is still breathing!" " I just fainted.

Drinking with leaders and others, he raised his glass and said loudly, "Let's die together!" " My brain was too hot. ......

On one occasion, the photographer of our newspaper interviewed the star of Anonymous and told him how he met the star at the meeting. The boss looked at a pile of photos on the table and made a joke: I see you have become his royal photographer. But the boss's southern Mandarin is not clear, so he pronounced "Yu" as "Japanese". From then on, this poor photographer was called "everyday photographer" by us. He worked overtime, and of course he became a "night photographer".

Boss, do you have a toilet paper hunger card?

3 1 Our colleague went on a business trip, so the dealer invited us to dinner. If you want to pee while eating, the dealer said there is a bathroom opposite. If you go, you can tell the door that we are eating across the street, so it's free. In order to save twenty cents, our colleague went straight ahead and confidently said to the toilet administrator, "I'm here for dinner!" " "

I'm from the logistics department. After the new year, customers call to ask when the goods will arrive before the festival. Because the holidays were so chaotic these days, I couldn't figure out the contents of the order, so I asked, What are you?

A friend of mine has just watched The Legend of the Condor Heroes, and he is very interested in "fighting the dog to win the battle" and often plays jokes on others.

One day, as usual, he. Kicked a man and shouted "kick the dog's leg!" " Everyone laughed wildly, and he felt embarrassed, so he kicked again and shouted, "Dog kicks!" " "

When I was in high school, I went out to work during the holidays.

I want to find a job as a waiter in a restaurant.

I'm nervous because I'm a child, and this is my first job.

Originally I wanted to ask the manager if he needed a job, but I also wanted to say that it would be more subtle to ask him if he needed manpower.

The result said, "Manager, do you need a beater here?"

I almost found a hole to get into.

Once I went to the market to buy food and prepare for dinner. A Korean friend bought lettuce and asked for 2.4 yuan. He gave all the change to the vendor, but he was still short of a dime, so he said to the vendor-

"I gave you all my hair, so I have no hair."

The peddler was speechless, and it took him a long time to answer-

I don't want your hair.

The manager usually says to smokers at meetings: smokers are strangled! !

I remember when KFC went out to spread its wings and spread its fragrance, because I didn't see the advertisement and heard what others said, I always thought it was Liu Xiang who endorsed KFC. When I get to Ken, tell the waiter directly that I want Liu Xiang to spread her wings. . .

After the 38 KFC Sudan Red Incident, I went to KFC.

The waiter asked, what do you want to eat?

I didn't even think about it: a pair of Sudan red.

The waiter immediately looked as if he was choking.

I went to a small shop for dinner with some colleagues after work the other day. There were quite a lot of people in the shop at that time. A fat waiter is as busy as a bee. A colleague shouted "waiter ~ ~" and the girl ran over: "What are the accounts of several nodes?" At that time, we all fell down and went to this restaurant for dinner. When ordering food, we shout "waiter pays the bill" and then shout "order!"

I met my colleague in the bathroom at noon, and suddenly I didn't know what word to say hello to. The tie asked, "Have you eaten?" After asking, I was annoyed and embarrassed. The colleague replied, "Yes, and you?" I'm dizzy ~ ~ ~ ~

Ask a humorous joke ... 1, "How to point out a person's ugliness with culture?" "This face is so pitiful."

2. Seen from a distance, the ridge side peaks, and the cups are different. I don't know the true face of sister paper, just because there is a well in my heart.

3, I told all the lies, you believe, simple I love you, but you always don't believe it.

4. Every leftover woman has her own Journey to the West:

Born good and handsome, determined to become a monk;

Those with great ability and high status have a bad temper and do not consider shortcomings;

During the question and answer session, a couple took people out of the canteen and took a bottle of drink. I heard the woman shouting behind the man, "Hey, what do you mean by another bottle on this?" Without looking back, the man said, "I don't know." So the woman threw the bottle cap on the ground. Seeing this scene, I thought I met two * * *. I quickly picked it up, blew it and looked at the sun. As a result, there are four big characters on it: thank you for tasting …