Booking a documentary

Pictures have nothing to do with words, but there is actually a little difference.

I often mess up the hair of the appointment when I tie the rope, especially when I tie my upper body. If I don't take care of it, my hair will be pressed into the rope. I have to turn their hair to the left and right.

I have pulled out a lot of hair, some of which are smooth. When I put my finger in, my hair slipped between my fingers. Some are very dry and astringent, as if they had been soaked in bitter life and turned into mummies without nutrition; Someone gave me an electric shock with static electricity. When I consciously withdraw my man, she will take a breath, suddenly shrink her neck, and then ask me, is this an electric shock play? I said yes, it's an extra gift.

I have pulled out a lot of hair and loved to do it since I was a child. My mother said that when I was a child, whenever she took me out to play, I would cry as long as she didn't hug me. At this time, she would pick me up and say to me, "Don't cry, mom will give you my hair to play with."

Then there will be an unknown shampoo fragrance coming at me. In my memory, my mother's hair can be tied in a knot. Ironically, when I shook it, the knot slipped away on its own, just like magic. When I was a child, I never got tired of this magic.

But when I came home for the Spring Festival last year, I saw a lot of white hair on my mother's head, which seemed to have been soaked in bitter life, and there was no supple luster anymore. So after that, every time my hair passes through my fingertips, it seems that there will always be some troubles coming out of my heart, afraid to say its name.

Recently, I met an appointment holder who may not be much younger than my mother.

She said that she just got divorced last year and her children went to college in other places. Her high-speed life seemed to stop at once, so some of them began to think about their own lives.

She said that suddenly looking back, I found that there seems to be nothing worth remembering in this decade. Although I am much older, I will always feel like repeating a day.

For ten years, my husband and I have been in the cold war. I have never been divorced for the sake of my children. I get up at 6: 30 every morning to make breakfast for my children, send them to work after school, take food home for lunch at noon 1 1: 30, send them to the school gate, go back to work for an hour, then continue to work, get off work at 6: 00, and go home to cook dinner for my husband and children.

Every day, it goes back and forth. In the eyes of children, she is a good mother, but in the eyes of colleagues, she is a hollow soul without self.

Because of the epidemic, there was no way to actually make an appointment, so we just picked a cafe to chat with. Speaking of this, she was a little excited, pulled down her mask and drank several drinks.

Then he taught me in turn, "Be really careful when you get married. Marriage and love are really different. "

I nodded and smiled. "Then how do you feel about divorce? How to treat the experience rope binding? "

She said, "Half my life has passed, and I don't understand." He paused and said, "Actually, I feel very young inside. Look at the nail polish and nails painted by those young people. I really want to do it, but it's inconvenient to wash vegetables and cook. I haven't done it once. " When she said this, she raised her hand, and now her nails have a faint color. "It is good to divorce, and the children are older. I don't have to be so tired anymore. I can travel and do what I want. "

She also took out her mobile phone and showed off her Tik Tok to me. "Now that there is more time, I also play with young people's things. I shoot myself, cut my hair and enjoy myself. "

To tell the truth, I especially admire her courage. I seldom see anyone clamouring to climb out of the mountain of life at this age, or even riding on it in reverse. For example, my mother often tells me that life is like this, and I have no hope. I've been busy for so many years, and my hopes are all on me.

I can't understand it. I think my mother will live for at least a few decades. Why is there no hope? The sunshine is strong and the water waves are gentle. The world is still quite good. Isn't it an escape to pin all your hopes on children? Every time I think about it, something comes out of my heart, and I still dare not say its name.

She looked at me in a daze and raised the volume to continue. In fact, she had the idea of experiencing the rope for a long time. When she was very young, she would have a strange impulse when she saw such a plot on TV and in books. But at that time, this idea was absolutely weird and would be labeled as a bad woman, so she never mentioned this idea to anyone for so many years.

She paused and suddenly looked at me seriously. "In fact, even if I don't make an appointment, I can chat with you so easily and honestly say that I have hidden secrets for so many years, and I feel particularly at ease and comfortable."

While speaking, a lock of hair fell off, and she quickly dialed it and hid it behind her ear. I kept nodding. "That's right. If you can't say anything, just say it! "

When I was a child, my mother told me that when you start talking and stop talking, this sentence is the end of your life as a sound wave. But those who hear it, some will remember, some will forget, some will be hurt, and some will be moved. If you talk nonsense, you will become a lonely soul and come back to you. Only by talking well can they turn over.

Therefore, I felt that it was difficult to speak when I was alive, and it was even harder to speak happily regardless. But that afternoon, we seemed to be friends, like two drunkards, scooping up one cup after another by the pool full of nectar and jade, and then scooping up three cups after being drunk and thirsty.

When it comes to high, I leave it alone. I asked her, "have you ever worried that the experience of rope binding will affect your family?" For example, if your child knows, are you worried about ta? Such as' Ah! My mother actually likes to be tied up. Like this? And then the mother's image collapsed? "

She shook her head quickly. "First of all, my children won't know, because this is my privacy, and everyone will have their own privacy. Secondly, why do people think I am "mom" at first sight? Even you. I was kidnapped as a' good wife and mother' for too many years. Before, every colleague in the unit mentioned that I was a model mother who cared about her family and was virtuous. When I buy adult products, I have to be told what to do. "

Speaking of which, she was even a little angry. "Please, I am a person first, ok? I also have secular desires. "

Please, I'm a person first, okay? I suddenly choked on this sentence and didn't know what to say. I feel very moved again. This is probably the lesson she summed up from ten years of repeated boring life, so short and so profound.

Seeing that it's getting late, she said, thank you for letting me dump myself today. I didn't say anything. She said we'd make an appointment after the experience. I said yes, no problem.

Then we said goodbye to each other and prepared to go back. When she turned around, her hair also passed through my face, getting rid of gravity for a second, getting rid of the world for a second, and then flowing vertically to her down jacket.

That smell is too familiar to me. It is the smell that has been eroded by oil fumes for a long time. It runs around in the wind, rain and sun, and wants to cover it up with shampoo and hair dye after working continuously for more than ten years.

My mother said it smelled like menopause, but I don't think so. That's the smell of lost time, and you can't chase it away.

I have brushed many people's hair, some of them are young and smooth, and when my fingers reach in, my hair will slip from my fingers; Some have been forked dry, like being soaked in a bitter life and becoming mummies without nutrition.

At the moment, I saw her tarnished hair still flowing happily on the down jacket. I think it's good to live a free life like this. I don't know what it will be like when I get to this age. Thought of here, the in the mind again a kind of worry, dare not say its name.

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