Folk Marriage Customs How about the Marriage Customs in Huaibei Area (2)

After sitting on the account of "worshipping heaven and earth", I led my relatives to hold candles and guide the couple into the bridal chamber. Temporarily hang an oil lamp lit with vegetable oil on the wall of the new house, which is called "longevity lamp". After a while, someone will go up and dial the lamp and sing "dial the lamp, dial the lamp, and have a troublemaker next year." The bride sits on the bed, which is called "sitting on the bill". At this time, the groom stepped forward and took off the "hood red" on the bride's head with a balance beam, which means "the newlyweds are satisfied when they meet." Then sit on the bride's left, and the couple will have a heart-to-heart drink. When relatives and friends are full and guests are full, the bride and groom will return to the table and bow down to their elders in turn. Auntie and aunt are all bowing and taking the head gift. All worshippers have a "kowtow ceremony", which is called "dividing the size". After the ceremony, the banquet began, and friends and relatives got together to enjoy drinking. Banquet Arranging a banquet is the main task of holding a happy event. So far, the countryside still buys food by itself and invites chefs. As soon as the chef arrived, he gave the operation ceremony, no matter how much, and also sent two towels. Support the pot, buy food, rent a table. In the era of lack of materials, noodles are mostly mixed with oil, and the custom is that "fried noodles are sticky." There is no cooking in the countryside. All the bowls and seats are closed, three meals are stopped and covered with steam. Red things, a good system of ten plates and eight bowls, and eight plates and eight bowls, called two or eight seats; Later, it gradually developed, adding four frying bowls and four large pieces, which were called 38 seats. The dishes are mostly four meats and four vegetables, such as pig liver, pig blood, fried crispy fish, hot tofu, cold lotus root slices, spinach, beans, radishes and mung bean sprouts; The bowl is full of chicken, duck and fish, plus a few powders, meatballs, kelp and the like, and finally an egg soup. In the past, a man's wedding banquet consisted of three meals, one at noon the day before, one in the morning on the wedding day, one in the middle and the most abundant at noon. Women usually have two meals, one in the sedan chair the day before and one in the morning the next. At the banquet, the bride and groom walked to the table and toasted the guests one by one. As the saying goes, "the wedding banquet is not intoxicating", and the wine served by the couple can't be drunk. Find the elders who really can't drink, forget it. Good-natured relatives and friends have already drunk eight or nine points, and were drunk by the couple for the last time, which made many jokes and added atmosphere to the happy event. After the banquet, two women with two children made the bed for the bride and groom, and put red dates, chestnuts and other things already prepared under the blanket, meaning "having a baby early". After that, "opening a face" for the bride means beautifying the bride, such as trimming eyebrows and sideburns, which means "creating a new face". Sister-in-law tore off the irregular hair on the bride's face with a red line and sang, "If you pull a face, you will get a red egg." Red egg, turn around, have a wedding banquet this year and eat noodles next year. ""open face "means that a woman is married and only holds it once in her life. The bridal chamber was called "teasing the bride" and "pretending to be the bride" in ancient times, commonly known as "warm room", "noisy room", "teasing the new wife" and "pretending to be the groom", especially a form of celebration held in the new house on the wedding night with teasing the bride and groom as the main content. People think that "if you don't make trouble, the more trouble you make", making trouble in the bridal chamber can drive away evil spirits and avoid special things, and wish the bride and groom a happy life after marriage. Guests, relatives, neighbors, villagers, especially cousins, nephews, regardless of seniority, men, women and children, can participate in quarreling and quarreling, which is called "three days after marriage." "Think of some awkward poems and songs as before, let the bride learn to read them, or send out couplets for the bride to take. If the bride can't satisfy everyone, she will be fined candy, biscuits or wine. Or let the bride tell some riddles or jokes with sexual metaphors, which makes it difficult for her to export. Some of them are noisy, asking the bride and groom to do some actions, such as hugging and kissing in public, or some close actions, such as putting a chopstick in an oil bottle and only nodding, asking the bride and groom to lick it out with the tip of their tongue, or hanging an apple and asking them to eat it together, and so on. Some people also make extremely ugly "hilarious" words and deeds, which makes the newcomers ugly. Even joking and touching the bride directly. The natural continuation of the activity of "listening to the room" is "listening to the room", that is, the relatives and friends celebrating the wedding dispersed. After the newlyweds closed the door to have a rest, some people quietly turned around, hiding out of the window to eavesdrop or peek at the room, making fun of the newlyweds' intimate language and actions, and even sexual behavior. In general, most of the listening rooms are female family members or male friends such as the groom's cousin. What's more, there are people who are not prepared to lurk under the wedding bed and listen to the room. Very noisy. In some deep houses, outsiders can't get in, or when there is no one listening in the room when it is windy and rainy, the elders will lean against the window of the new house and be a person. Watch your taste. On the third day of their wedding, the bride and groom are accompanied by their sister-in-law (mostly the old sister-in-law who lives near home) to pay homage to the ancestral grave of the man's family, which is called "recognizing the ancestors" or "burning happy papers". After coming back, my sister-in-law took a piece of red cloth two feet square, spread it on the door of the elders' room, and kowtowed to them. All worshippers are required to "kowtow" to the bride, which is called "chop and change". Exquisite people kowtow at the door, and everyone in the room kowtows. Its significance lies in enhancing the understanding between the bride and the family members of the man and confirming the status of the bride in the family of the man. On that day, the bride and brother came to meet more often and knew the date of their return. When I went back to see my parents, I said that my husband's family had a big family and won the first prize. I almost worshipped half the village in a daze. After two or three days of marriage, the bride will go to the kitchen to cook and wash her hands to make cake soup. After returning home, the bride and groom go to see their parents or relatives, and some bring fans, candy, snacks and other gifts. This is called "going back to their parents' home". In the past, many people came back on the fourth day of the fourth lunar month. Slowly, after the Three Dynasties, the bride and groom visited their parents-in-law, relatives and friends on the sixth day after their marriage. Women's family banquets entertain "VIPs" and friends from all over the world. The banquet for the new son-in-law must be held at the head of the main hall. Before eating, the woman's younger brother brought face washing water to her brother-in-law, who had to pay for it. Go back in the afternoon and don't spend the night at your parents' house. The bride's family brought her daughter a round cake steamed stuffed bun, saying it was for her mother-in-law. In order to stop her mouth, she would be less disliked in the future. Don't talk like a dog. From the bride's point of view, returning to her parents' marriage customs expresses her gratitude for not forgetting her parents' upbringing after marriage. For the groom, in addition to thanking his parents-in-law's kindness, it also means meeting the woman's relatives and friends, which has the nature of recognizing relatives. Nowadays, social communication is widely developed, and people's ideas are also changing. Will be back in two or three days after marriage. When we are apart, parents should buy pots and pans and new stoves. Generally, the small pot is next to the big pot, and the door of the pot cannot face south, which means that it is difficult to burn, eat and cook. Only the monks in the temple hold the pot door facing south. To refresh the house, stay in Yan Lu, and pray that "swallows don't enter the door of sorrow". Choose a good day, parents buy a lot of dishes, daughter-in-law cooks, mother-in-law cooks, and the family eats to celebrate. In rural areas, parents should divide rice and fields. In the city, you have to give a certain amount of living expenses. In the past, some people even ordered separation. Whether in urban or rural areas, young people have to eat with their parents for a period of time after marriage. In the future, people in the city feel inconvenient because of their working relationship, while people in the countryside start a new stove for various reasons and eat separately (mostly because there are many brothers and sisters, which is not good for their sisters-in-law). On the day of the party, friends and relatives are invited to have the first meal, which is called "Liao Country Bottom". After the founding of New China, the people's government promulgated the Marriage Law, abolishing arranged marriages, buying and selling marriages and feudal marriage systems such as "child brides" and "concubinage", and the way of choosing a spouse "parents' orders and matchmakers' words" suffered an unprecedented impact. The staff of the unit took the lead in changing customs, implementing marriage in love, self-engagement, not choosing a spouse, and not asking for a bride price. Both parties went to the civil affairs department to perform marriage registration procedures and held a simple ceremony. However, due to the deep-rooted traditional marriage concepts and habits, most rural areas are still semi-autonomous marriages that combine coercion and freedom, that is, the matchmaker bridges, the parents are the masters, and the parties nod. In the 1960s, young men and women followed the example of other places and practiced "traveling marriage" and "group marriage" without entertaining guests. At present, free love and independent marriage have long been popular. Many people get married through the introduction of parents, relatives, classmates, friends, teachers, masters and others, or through parties, entertainment parties, dances and tea parties organized by trade unions and youth organizations. More and more people are looking for love objects through radio, television, internet and other media. In the early days of the People's Republic of China, materials were scarce, and young men and women often got married in two single beds as long as their feelings were mature. Some educated youths get married and invite relatives and friends to eat some candy, so there will be no wedding. Even in rural areas, most young men and women do not deliberately pursue material conditions, but pay attention to thoughts and feelings. In the 1960s, the pots and pans of furniture and even the cotton thread of clothes could only be properly matched with marriage certificates to meet the needs of happy events. Since the 1970s, there has been an unhealthy trend of women demanding bride price in rural areas. What do you mean by "wool sheep, covered pigs, big tile house with three turns and one ring"? The "three turns" means bicycles, sewing machines, watches, the "one ring" means radios, "crossing the river" (dacron and other chemical fiber materials) and so on. Later, it was upgraded to "four gifts are not lacking in hand, and three tile houses have electric lights." The four ceremonies are the meeting ceremony, the quality goods, the boarding ceremony and the alighting ceremony. In the 1980s, the woman asked the man to prepare most or even all wedding supplies such as TV, refrigerator, washing machine, bicycle and furniture. Married women in rural areas began to pay attention to the quality of life, what "two sheds, quadrangles, digging wells to water vegetables, not following the old and the young." "This statement is not unfilial, but that the conditions are good now. I want to live alone and I want to be neat. Some men send some big wedding supplies to their daughters' home in advance and have the right to use them as dowry for their daughters' wedding day. Some also ask the man to send a large amount of RMB. In the city, young men and women keep up with each other and demand more and more. There are many kinds of wedding expenses, and the expenses are rising. Nowadays, wedding rooms and wedding banquets are "old gifts", and jewelry dresses, wedding photos, wedding services including wedding cars and cameras, and honeymoon trips have all become important expenses in the wedding process. The wedding banquet is getting bigger and bigger, from twenty or thirty tables to forty or fifty tables, or even hundreds of tables. The number of wedding convoys has increased from one or two to four or five. Over the past few years, dozens of limousines with the same color have formed a long wedding motorcade. The total cost of getting married is 50,000-80,000, and there are many people who run a marriage for more than 654.38+10,000. It shows that people's lives are getting richer and richer, and their consumption level is constantly improving. In fact, most newcomers often work very short hours and have limited savings. The cost of major surgery is almost all the savings of parents for many years, even their "pension money." At present, women's federations, civilized offices, trade unions and other social organizations vigorously advocate the new civilized style of changing customs and holding new weddings, and guide the holding of collective weddings, tourist weddings, tree planting weddings and so on. Grand, lively, festive and economical, it is welcomed by more and more people. At present, weddings are mostly held on New Year's Day, Spring Festival, May Day, National Day and other holidays. Newcomers prepare banquets in hotels to entertain relatives and friends. During the dinner, the bride and groom toasted the guests in turn, and the guests and elders returned their congratulations. Give candy after the feast. Moreover, the content and customs are characterized by the combination of Chinese and Western culture, the mutual penetration of tradition and modernity, close integration and richness, such as giving wedding rings, the bride wearing a white wedding dress, the groom wearing a suit, setting up bridesmaids, and the groom carrying (or carrying) the bride upstairs into the bridal chamber after bowing. Car marriage has become a common phenomenon. The wedding car is beautiful and beaming. The car body is covered with flowers, and the word "hi" is stuck on the window glass, which is called "gone with the wind". Floats galloped through the street, attracting pedestrians to stop and watch, becoming a big landscape. Others pursue the novelty and uniqueness of the wedding, in order to leave unforgettable memories for the guests and themselves, greet the bride and groom with tricycles, and the long tricycle team slowly passes by the market, and the bride and groom are seen by passers-by. Habits have also changed. Candy and confetti are often used to disperse accounts. Bow to the church. Raise a glass and drink, and go to the wedding banquet. The main purpose of making a new house is to express the blessing to the couple, including the hilarity at the wedding banquet, such as letting the bride and groom kiss, hanging fructose, young people hugging the bride and taking photos with her, and asking the bride and groom to introduce their love stories. Some newcomers at the group wedding also donated love money to poor students to sublimate the true meaning of love; Some people plant a "love tree" symbolizing eternal love to commemorate the best memories in life. It marks the improvement of material living standards and spiritual civilization.