Why does Goth take pleasure in death?

Maybe it's the other shore, maybe it's a lighthouse, and it needs a flowering time to light it up.

When you are lonely, you learn not to cry, because you are brave when you are alone.

When the street lamp begins to dusk, follow the shadow

Out of the depth of the edge of the sky, the light and shadow in the sky are just midnight flowers.

-inscription

Midnight flower

I will turn into a midnight orchid and walk with you, so please be strong.

This is the last sentence that Cher left for me in this world. She wrote something on a piece of paper with a "red ink" pen and put it in an envelope. The envelope is my favorite deep purple, with my favorite cartoon chicken printed on it, and the broken snowflakes float down. Her mother didn't believe it. She rummaged frantically in the corner of the house, sobbing like a trapped animal, saying that Cher had her mother and her mother. At that moment, I couldn't bear it any longer, and I suffered such great grief.

I wandered aimlessly in the street like a wandering soul. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what the world would be like without Cher. My brain is blank.

I think it may be a dream. This must be a dream. Cher, how did this happen? She is my best friend. How could she die by herself and leave me alone?

Lonely and strong

For several days in a row, I shut myself in my room, curled up in the corner and wept. In my hand, the letter left by Cher, as bright as blood, kept flashing before my eyes like an elf. Then I saw her face emerge in the vague air and smiled and said to be strong, as usual. In my most depressed moment, I smiled and told me to be strong. I slowly remembered that Cher was dead, and my heart suddenly trembled with fear. But the face is clearly there, the tears in the corners of the eyes are still clear, and the corners of the mouth are still sweet with a faint smile. I stretched out my hand to touch her face, but it was misty and fluttering like a blooming flower.

I cried, and my tears fell down at once. When I heard someone calling me Ash, Ash, be strong, I rubbed my eyes hard and struggled to think of her. My friend Cher, Cher with a sweet smile, has been my friend's Cher since kindergarten. She is not dead, I will see her face, so real.

Gee, that familiar smile, only she can smile so real.

"Stone, stone, you finally woke up. Mom knows you are sad, but after all, these things are irreversible. Be strong, okay? "

Strong, strong. The person who made me strong for the first time has died. How can I be strong?

I don't want to be in reality and I don't want to face all this.

I think it may be a dream. This must be a dream. Cher, how did this happen? She is my best friend. How could she die by herself and leave me alone?

A few years.

When we were children, we were friends. Her dress is gorgeous and noble, and her expression is quiet and beautiful, just like a princess in a fairy tale.

When we were children, we were friends. Her family lives across the street from mine, and we learn to dance together, all wearing small white lace skirts. I rang the doorbell of their house, tinkling ~ Cher's soft voice came from the room, saying, Ashi came, Ashi came to see me, the heavy security door opened, I opened another one, and then I waited for Cher to take my hand and go downstairs together. The face is full of happy smiles.

In fact, at that time, Cher was a very happy child. Although our childhood seems equally carefree and happy, Cher is even more envied by others. Mom and dad are so avant-garde and intimate. Dad is tall and powerful, and his eyebrows are masculine. My mother is also very sensible and exudes a gentle atmosphere. They often come to pick up Cher from school. Although the school is not far from home, she is always carried by her father. I think I envy her because my parents will never pick me up, let alone be together, so at that moment, I envy Cher.

A lost smile

Later, Cher's father seldom came to pick her up, only to see her mother always take Cher away in such a hurry, with no expression on her face. At that time, I thought it was a good thing, because Cher could have more time to hold my hand and go home with me than usual, but sometimes on the way, she would suddenly say that she missed her father, with strange brilliance in her black eyes and tears in her big eyes. I put my chubby short arms around her and said that your father might come with your mother tomorrow! She will dry her tears at once. Really? But you have a lot of meat on you! Ha ha.

Then, as if nothing had happened, we fought and ran home.

When I got home, I asked my mother. Cher said that she missed her father very much, and she hadn't seen him for a long time. My mother looked at him with sarcastic eyes and said that every engineer in the same factory can fly out of the old nest, but your father is incompetent and still working hard there. Look at the size of other people's refrigerator color TV ... the harsh sound is spreading, and my head hurts.

When I saw Cher's mother the next day, I said foolishly, your home is really nice. She panicked and left without answering, still in a hurry. Let me stand there and bite my finger. I can no longer feel the gentle breath in her body.

Later, Cher and I went to primary school, carrying beautiful cartoon schoolbags, still holding hands and going to school together, but Cher's face was not as frequent as before, but more indifferent and quiet. I said, Cher, hasn't your mother come home recently? Come to my house if you want your mother, and I'll give it to you. She said it was good to stay at home with grandma.

So, I won't say anything. I will still wait for Cher to come out from the opposite side in the morning, and the tinkling doorbell will wake me up who is always lazy to get up late in bed, and then go to school together. We are still holding hands. When there is a strong wind, she will pull up my long hair scattered all over my face, and when it rains, she will roll up my trouser legs. It's just that Cher's face is not as frequent as before, but more indifferent and quiet.

I went home and asked my mother if Cher didn't laugh as much as before.

Mom said that Cher's smile was stolen.

I said by who? Mom didn't say anything.

Later, I overheard my mother chatting with my father, saying that the child's parents divorced so young and had their own family so soon. It's really pitiful.

"Yes, I didn't expect Zhao Hua to leave their mother and daughter for fame and fortune. Like a big color TV refrigerator with content ... "

"ah? Why are you so unsympathetic? "

I didn't listen to the gossip behind. But isn't Zhao Hua Cher's father? I suddenly understand why Cher's mother ran away from home! Why is there only grandma in Cher's family now?

Soon after, I remember very clearly that our family was having dinner, and there was a loud conversation from the opposite side, and then it turned into a hysterical roar, and then there was Cher's cry, saying that mom wouldn't leave me, Cher was fine, Cher was fine, and then there was the sound of slamming the door.

My mother brought Cher back from the opposite side and asked me to stay with her. I heard Cher's grandmother sigh and say, "This is all Zhao Hua and Zhao Hua. We are sorry for Cher's mother, but we pity the child! " ......

Recall the sadness of the past and taste the happiness of the present

When I was in primary school, Cher's parents divorced and had a new family of their own. I don't know where Cher's existence belongs. I am worried about her, but every time I see her calm expression, I can't bear to say anything, and I don't know how to say it, because I don't know what kind of sadness is hidden behind the calm.

We were only eight years old that year, an age that should be full of laughter and carefree.

Time just passed lightly. Cher's mother went to the south with her husband, and Cher's father went to Beijing with his wife. The same distance, the same distance that is not easy to meet.

We were 12 years old that year, an age that should have been young and ignorant.

I sympathize with Cher, but it's just faint, because I can't understand what that environment means to a child's growth.

That is, that year, after our final exam, everyone said that they would go to play in the summer vacation and have a good talk. Suddenly, we heard the big guy in the class say that Cher was her rival in love, and then said that she was an apple polisher, thanks to her parents. ......

No one who really knows Cher's family would say such cruel things. I don't know how Cher was upset at that time. Surprised and angry, I blurted out, "Shut up, big guy." The big guy came over and gave me a push and said, "Shi, be careful that she will infect you." I was trembling with anger and reached out and slapped me like a reflex. Large chunks didn't react for a moment and immediately cried like a pig.

"Ah Shi, forget it", the voice is very light, but I can hear it clearly. The sound is very cold, freezing cold. I looked at her calmly, but tears kept pouring out and then fell silently. At that moment, I felt my heart broken.

Cher picked up her packed bag and left, and I stood there.

After school, because everything happened so suddenly today, my heart was in chaos, like a little wife touching her mother-in-law's forehead, bumping on the road. I thought about what to say to my mother when I got home. Should I say it? If not, I will definitely tell her mother with a big personality. No, I want my mother to be mentally prepared and have a big figure. ), and how embarrassed I am if my mother is hot-headed and hits me in front of her mother.

But it turned out that her mother would come to my mother, and my ass split into four pieces. But? It's better to die early than to live early, so I decided to live one day at a time.

In this way, I dawdled until dark before entering the house. The atmosphere is wrong! I quietly let out a cry, "Mom ~".

I saw my mother giving birth to me with a broom weapon in her hand and a sanitary hat on her head. When I saw the battle, I said, "Mom, today ..." Then I added, "I think she went too far, but she was wrong. You don't think it's mom, oh ".

"What the hell is going on? Her mother went to cher's house in chunks, and no one asked me when they would come back. Oh? I see. Don't hit people in the future. Let you learn to dance to shape your image, not to waste it! "

I froze for half a second and immediately looked like a chicken, yes, yes, yes.

"ah? Don't give your classmates nicknames in the future. Everything big and small is ugly. Also, a girl, her room is in a mess and she doesn't do any housework. "

"Oh, I see." Just turned to eat, "wait, come back so late, where have you been?" ......

Silent parting, faint sadness

My mother didn't let me be responsible for this, because my uncle came back from Sichuan to visit relatives and lived in Xi 'an's aunt's house. The next day, I was happily reunited with my family as if nothing had happened. Before I left, I rang the doorbell of Cher's house and said, "Tintin Tintin ~".

"Coming" is grandma Cher's voice, old and tired. "It's Ashi, getting up so early after the holiday!" .

"well! What about Cher? "

"Cher is still sleeping. Go in and call her! "

"No, grandma, I'm going to Xi 'an. I didn't come back until the results were announced. Tell cher to wait for me. "

"Ha ha, ashima came to say goodbye to Cher. Ok, grandma will tell Cher when she gets up. "

"Then I will go. Oh, grandma, goodbye! "

Farewell, farewell, I just left for a short time, but unexpectedly it turned into a quiet farewell.

A week later, I was very excited and took my uncle's gift for Cher. On second thought, I should take it to class to give her a surprise and let others envy her, hehe ~.

Everyone arrived one after another in the morning, and spring is coming soon. Everyone said that she had lost weight and was slapped by Ash. We laughed, and Chunkuai looked at me and giggled. I said you should apologize for Cher's coming, and Chunqiu said that I would apologize if you didn't tell me. My mother asked me to say I'm sorry as soon as I saw her. I think from this incident, Chunkuai has changed from a fierce tiger to a weak sick cat, and Chunkuai's mother has changed from an extremely ferocious elephant to a reasonable elephant. I was secretly happy while waiting for Cher, wondering how happy she would be when she saw the gift.

However, she didn't come.

When I got home, I talked happily about my grades with Cher. I'm going to find Cher. Mom said that Cher had left for Dad. Grandma called the day before yesterday and said it was a temporary decision because Beijing has good schools and a new environment.

I listened blankly, crying why didn't you say so earlier, and then I began to cry.

I ran out and rang the doorbell of Shel's house, Tintin Tintin Tintin Tintin Tintin Tintin. ......

"No one! Why is there no one? "

I'm telling you, they're all gone.

I want to get back at that big guy.

What a mess.

"It's her, it's her, who scolded cher. I have never seen Cher cry like that. Cher will leave because Chunkuai said that. "

"Oh, let her cry, such a strong child is usually too forced!"

"What are you talking about? You don't understand! "

"Well, I got Cher's letter from the concierge."

"Why is it open? Whoops! "

"Oh, I opened it and looked."

"ouch! Infringement * *. "

In the dead of night, I rolled my flashlight in a towel and read the letter. The envelope is my favorite purple, printed with my favorite cartoon chicken, and broken snowflakes float down. Take out the letter, there is only one line on it, "Stone, you must be strong!" " "

My face is full of tears.

Cher's gone, and I'm still here. The house opposite is empty. I was lost for a while, but I immediately regained my vitality. Because I went to a key middle school in the city, there is an environment that makes me feel very novel, which is different from primary school. I have friends who make me happy, unlike Cher.

I think it's forgetfulness because of youth, not sentimentality.

A flowing day

I don't know if it's three years since I passed, or if three years have just passed by me.

Great changes have taken place in my family in the past three years, because my mother suspected that my father made less money, and it happened that my father heard that stock trading was good, so he took some money to stock trading. Coincidentally, he tasted some sweetness and invested all his family savings, including his mother, in stock trading, and then he was naturally trapped. Then mom blames dad, and dad blames mom. Anything that can't be hit by eight poles can be pulled together by them as a fuse, and then my home unexpectedly turned into a battlefield, with shouts and shouts coming and going. I became a victim of the war, a very innocent victim.

I'm depressed all day, not because I stopped my violin class and dance class because of lack of money at home, not because my clothes are getting old every year, not because there is no air conditioning in summer, not because there is not enough heating in winter, no, no, I just want a peaceful family and a peaceful growing environment. As I grow up, I feel more and more the pain brought by family reasons. Complete pain can change a person's pain.

Because, I don't want to be Cher.

Cher, Cher, my childhood sweetheart, I really miss her at the moment. Only she can feel my pain.

I remember the beauty we had and her disappearing smile.

Meet again

I think I've changed, just in those three years.

I didn't go to high school, but I was admitted to a private school under the entrustment of my mother. I don't want to face family quarrels, so I choose to stay in the school which is only 10 minutes' walk from home.

It was the first day of school. I dragged my schoolbag lazily out of the dormitory and went to the classroom. Then I watched the teacher's mouth keep moving, and then I went back to the dormitory and saw her.

I recognized her at a glance, although she has changed completely.

Although she wears sunglasses, I can still feel the loneliness in her eyes, but it is permeated with this unspeakable power.

Although she is wearing fashionable clothes, I still feel the pride behind her chest, which is more lonely than fireworks.

She still has the same unique beauty as before, but I still feel the stubbornness behind Leng Yan's beautiful mask and the coldness of rejecting all kindness.

She put down her sundries and came over and said, Shi, I'm back.

I said, I'm always strong when you're away.

We hugged and cried.

After that, even if it is very hot in summer, we will sleep together and whisper.

I told her about my family, and I was in pain. She said you should be strong.

I told her what kind of people I met and what kind of things drove me crazy. She said you should be strong.

She told me not to listen to the teacher in class, but to what the teacher said. I said, okay.

Because I like her very much.

She said that I would go to cram school at night to strengthen what the teacher said. I said, okay.

Because I trust her very much.

I said don't stay up late to write at night, you will fall asleep in class. She said that she is a midnight orchid, which blooms at night.

I said why you always look at the sparrow instead of the blackboard when you wake up in class. She said it was not a sparrow but a handsome guy, and the teacher's handwriting was ugly.

I said why you always go to discos and bars, and she said it would be more convenient to pick me up after class at night.

I said why you always have a lot of boyfriends, and she said to get rid of everything that affects me.

I am helpless and speechless.

We both went home as usual because of the conflict between the school accommodation regulations and the make-up exam time. My mother asked me when I began to like going home, and I said that Cher's coming back made me feel lost.

Yes, I think so. She has suffered more than me since she was a child, but she has never complained more than me. Growing up, her family made her feel most insecure, but she always gave me more security.

I really want nothing more from her, as long as she is happy.

My grades improved by leaps and bounds, and she treated me to a lot of ice cream.

I won the prize in the competition and she took me to the playground.

I said I like you very much, and she would kiss me and say that if I leave, you should be strong.

She will send me to make up lessons during the holidays and then wait for me by the swing. After I make up lessons, I always see a strange gay man standing next to her. I'll be angry. I said whether you were waiting for me or Taohua, and she said of course.

I was so angry that I couldn't speak, and I laughed too hard.

She will test me something after I make up the lessons, and I said that even if I say it, you won't know much.

She said that as long as you speak fluently and let me know everything, you are qualified.

I don't want to lie to her, so I understand all the questions, but she still doesn't understand. But she was very happy and said that a willing son could teach.

We went far away to watch the roses bloom. She has a laptop and always writes quietly when I'm running around. She writes very well. It's true. Although her other grades are not good, her Chinese has always been outstanding, which is a gift in the words of the Chinese teacher.

I have said so many articles, please contribute them, or they will all be wasted.

She said these were for you and me.

I was moved to silence.

On our birthday, the two families got together for us. Our birthday speech is: before we were born, we were destined to be born on the same day in the same year. Before we were born, we were destined to be friends.

Those days were really full and happy. I think happiness should be like that.

meteor

Happiness is always short-lived, and Cher's grandmother died of illness.

I watched her climb on the snow-white sheets and cried her eyes out, and my heart was broken.

I watched her become speechless and shed tears, and my heart ached to death.

I have never been so heartbroken, even in the face of a noisy family.

His father came back to offer his condolences, taking Cher's stepmother and brother with him. Said he would take grandma's ashes back to his hometown.

Cher held the urn and cried loudly. It used to be just me and grandma in Beijing, but now it's just me and grandma. We don't need you.

I also cried with her.

Mom said, Cher, don't cry. Grandma will be sad to hear that.

I said cher, don't cry. I love you. I feel bad when you cry.

Cher said I can't stop, Shi, I can't stop! Then I passed out.

I stayed with her until she woke up. I fed her water and said to myself, drink some water. You haven't eaten well for days. I said midnight orchid, it's late, it's about to open!

I cried. I can't stop crying.

After a long time, she woke up.

Mom said that when Cher woke up, she would let me rest, and there would be a class tomorrow. The college entrance examination is coming! I told you I'd be with Cher.

Cher smiled and said, Ash, I'm much better. Go to sleep quickly, be good.

I touched her face and said, okay.

When I passed the living room, I saw her stepmother sleeping with her son in her arms in the next room, snoring like thunder. I don't know what they did in this case.

I shudder to think that Cher has suffered a lot in the face of such a stepmother. How does Cher face her father, who was once the most familiar, and her new family, who was reunited in a strange Beijing?

Out of Cher's house, I saw her father wearing linen and smoking one after another through the window. Obviously, he is not as powerful and handsome as he was when he was young. His fat figure makes me feel that he is old and has no energy to torture poor Cher anymore. I hate him.

The next day before school, I went to see Cher again. Seeing that she was asleep, I felt very relieved, so I gently said wait for me!

Yelanxie

After school at noon, I saw my mother standing at the school gate waiting for me. I said, mom, why don't you cook after work?

Mother's face froze and said, let's go home.

I think if I know what I will see when I go home, I would rather give up all the happiness for the rest of my life and let time freeze at the moment when she is alive.

However, I can't keep Cher's death.

Shel's mother arrived the day after Shel died.

After seeing her father, Cher hugged him tightly, regardless of the existence of others, and began to cry. The sad cry shocked everyone present, including Cher's stepmother.

Because, I cried when I first saw her coming.

I hope sincere tears can wash away the pain they brought to Cher.

I hope Cher can put aside all her sadness and fly to heaven.

Still strong

With a letter in his hand. It was found and given to me by her mother when she was sorting out her relics.

In the dead of night, I rolled my flashlight in a towel and read the letter. The envelope is my favorite purple, printed with my favorite cartoon chicken, and broken snowflakes float down. Take out the letter and write only one line on it: I will turn into a midnight orchid and walk with you, so please be strong. The handwriting is very light, but it is dazzling.

I was in tears.

When I was a child, I saw Cher running with me in a noble white princess dress. At night, Cher came to pick me up after class in a enchanting black dress, and suddenly she changed into a bright red dress, as red as a flower and as bright as blood, and fell in a pool of blood like a night orchid.

Be strong, Shi. Please be strong.

Don't die, don't leave me, my strength needs you by my side!

Lovely, strong, my voice is getting more and more ethereal, but it has been lingering in my ears, and I am struggling to stay.

Are you worried about me, Cher? You're worried about me! I will be strong, I will be strong, please don't worry about me. Please don't stay in this desperate place because you are worried about me. Fly to heaven quickly. Please remember that I love you.

She smiled at me, sweet smile, my heart ached.

postscript

White innocence, innocent childhood.

Black despair echoes in the empty youth.

The death of red indicates the most luxurious Gothic death.

Take it.