How to persuade others skillfully

In reality, there are many ways to help you implement covert persuasion. Let's see how to persuade others one by one. I'll sort out the strategies of persuading others for you, hoping to help you.

persuasion strategy?

First, grasp the key

For those who are good at manipulating persuasion skills, they don't keep dealing with each other, but grasp the key and hit the nail on the head. If this point is brought into full play, it can be a great event. See an example:

Xiao He, a famous prime minister in the Han Dynasty, once asked Liu Bang, the emperor gaozu of Han Dynasty, to give a large area of vacant land in Shanglinyuan to ordinary people for farming. Shanglinyuan is a large garden for the emperor to play and hunt. Liu Bang flew into a rage when he heard that Prime Minister Xiao wanted to cut down his garden. He thought that Xiao He must have accepted a lot of money from ordinary people to speak for them. So Xiao He was arrested and imprisoned, and at the same time was examined and convicted. At that time, in order to please the emperor, the judge Ting Wei did not hesitate to use heavy punishment to make the prisoner plead guilty as long as the emperor found someone guilty. At this critical moment, a nearby bodyguard officer surnamed Wang came forward to advise Liu Bang and said, Does your majesty remember the time when he fought against Xiang Yu and later eradicated the rebels? In those years, the emperor personally led troops to crusade, and only the Prime Minister was stationed in Guanzhong, and the people in Guanzhong were very popular with the Prime Minister. If the prime minister is a little selfish, then the land in Guanzhong is not your majesty's. Do you think the Prime Minister will be greedy for a little profit from the people and businessmen when he can make a big profit without making a plan?

a few simple sentences hit the nail on the head. Liu Bang was deeply touched and finally realized his recklessness. He was sorry for the sincerity of the Prime Minister and felt very ashamed. So on the same day, Xiao He was pardoned.

zhou bo, another founding father of the Han Dynasty, once helped the Han Dynasty eradicate Lv Hou's minions, welcomed Emperor Wen of the Han Dynasty, and made great contributions to the stability of the country. But later, when he went back to his fief, some traitors and villains who had always hated zhou bo took the opportunity to falsely accuse zhou bo of plotting rebellion to the Chinese Emperor. Emperor Wen of the Han Dynasty actually believed it, and quickly ordered Tingwei to arrest zhou bo and put him in jail, so as to investigate and punish him. According to the laws of the Han dynasty at that time, anyone who attempted to rebel would not only be put to death himself, but also destroy the whole family. Just when zhou bo was in great trouble, Empress Dowager Bo came out to persuade Emperor Wen to say? Your Majesty, the best time for zhou bo's rebellion is when you have not acceded to the throne and the imperial decree left to you by the first emperor is in his hand, and when he is in command of the main force of the North Army, but he is devoted to the Han Dynasty, helping the Han Dynasty to eliminate the forces of Lu who tried to usurp power and give the imperial decree to your majesty. Now, why do you think of rebellion at this time when you go back to live in your own small feudal country?

After hearing this, Wen Di lost all doubts, and immediately ordered him to forgive zhou bo. As you can imagine, if no one stood up to defend them when they were in great trouble, explain the truth and analyze the reason, could they be spared the great trouble? How powerful words are!

second, detour induction opens the gap

in daily life, persuasion can be seen almost everywhere. Mother is ill and refuses to go to the hospital for surgery. It depends on persuasion. Infatuated women are heartbroken, and it depends on persuasion; Young people don't want to make progress, their style is impetuous, and they have to rely on persuasion.

a better strategy for effective persuasion is to take circuitous tactics instead of starting from the front. Direct persuasion is easy to make the other party resistant. Therefore, it is advisable to open the gap from the side.

Just after the victory of the great October Revolution in Russia, the imperial palace symbolizing the reactionary rule of the czar was captured by the revolutionary army. At that time, Russian farmers shouted with torches that they wanted to light this world-famous building and burn the palace to relieve their hatred of the tsar. Some knowledgeable revolutionary workers came out to persuade them, but it was of no help.

Lenin rushed to the scene immediately after learning the news. Facing those indignant peasants, Lenin said earnestly: Brothers farmers, the palace can be burned. But before I light it, I have a few words to say. Do you think it's ok?

As soon as the farmers heard this, they knew that Lenin did not object to their burning, so they replied:? Absolutely. ?

Lenin asked? Who used to live in this house?

　? Is the czar ruler. ? The farmers answered loudly.

Lenin asked again: Then who built it?

the farmers said firmly: It is our people. ?

　? Then, since it was built by our people, let our people represent it now. What do you say?

the farmers nodded.

Lenin asked again: Is that still burning?

　? Don't burn! ? The farmers replied in unison.

the palace was finally saved.

Anger at things is often a manifestation of simple emotions and simple thinking, and the key is to guide them. In the face of the angry masses, Lenin's five persuasive questions clarified the masses' thinking and saved this world-famous building. The steps he took were: first, understand and agree with the views of the masses, so as to gain time and opportunity to guide the masses; Secondly, the root causes the peasants to understand that the imperial palace was originally inhabited by the czar's rulers, but it was built by the masses of the people. Now that it has been taken away from the czar and returned to the masses of the people, the people should be allowed to represent it. This truth can be convincing, so the peasants nodded. The last question is the result of strengthening circuitous induction so that the masses can make a clear statement? The palace is not burning? , thus fully achieving the goal.

in the process of persuasion, you can't just talk about big things, but it doesn't mean you can't talk about them? Reason? If you make the truth concrete, vivid, thought-provoking and make them feel that it is such a truth, you can make it clear step by step.

Third, attack the city from the top to the bottom

One of the most basic points of attack and persuasion is to subtly induce the other person's psychology or feelings to convince the persuaded person.

If the persuader emphasizes his own advantages and tries to get the upper hand, the other party will strengthen his guard. Therefore, you should deliberately discover your own shortcomings or mistakes first, temporarily make the other party feel superior, and be careful not to express it in a serious manner, so as not to let the other party take advantage of it.

when a person thinks that he may be accused, he might as well criticize himself in a preemptive way. However, people's hearts are very strange. When the other party finds out that you have admitted your mistake, it is not good to blame more. For example, when you want something from each other, you say at the beginning: This may be an unreasonable request? ，? May I be a little reckless in saying these things? , or? What I said was a little excessive. ? At this point, even if what you say really annoys the other party, the other party will not blame it face to face. If you use it repeatedly, it will strengthen the effect and make the other party listen to your request easily and accept it.

see, everything needs strategy, and persuasion is no exception.

fourth, improve your own professional level, authority and credibility;

Social Animals mentioned that people have been thinking about the influence of prestige on persuasion for a long time. Before 3 BC, Aristotle, the first social psychologist with famous works handed down from generation to generation in the world, said that compared with others, we would be more likely to fully trust an upright person. This is absolutely correct when people's understanding of the problem is not certain or there are different opinions.

in front of western media, our media is not easy to convince people. Many major events in China, the domestic mainstream media released first-hand information, in people's eyes, all seem suspicious. Give? Hide and seek? It is difficult for the relevant departments to release any news to make people believe.

To improve your own authority, you should make people think that you are awesome, either really awesome or pretending to be awesome. Pretending to be a cow without being poked also requires level. If the level is not high, it means pretending to be forced and becoming a laughing stock. It is also convincing everyone that I am better than you, so you should take me.

The most amazing thing about pretending to be an awesome person is little Frank in the movie "catch me if you can", pretending to be a teacher, a co-pilot, a doctor and a lawyer. Look at my seventy-two changes.

5. present some facts selectively, which will subtly affect the audience and make the audience's attitude change in the direction you set in advance.

　? Few achievements in human history can match our achievements in exploring space. Few photos have been so consistent, moving and widely recognized as those taken during these trips. These photos have changed the way we look at the world and ourselves. All the photos taken were taken by Hasselblad camera. ? If this passage appears in a popular science article on the exploration of the universe, it is difficult for you to associate it with the marketer who wants to sell you a Hasselblad camera. In this passage, there is no strong persuasion, only facts. This fact has influenced our attitude towards Hasselblad camera. Although you don't necessarily want to shoot any galaxies outside the river, you definitely want to own a Hasselblad camera.

this persuasion strategy can be called soft persuasion, which is deduced from soft writing. What is the beauty and subtlety of soft-text persuasion? Soft? Words, like needles hidden in the cotton, are collected without revealing, defeating the enemy invisibly, and their effects are like spring breeze and rain, moistening things silently. If hard persuasion is the Shaolin kung fu of my family; Then, soft persuasion is to use the Wudang boxing method of Roukegang, combining hard and soft, and practicing both inside and outside.

The writing of history is a selective presentation of facts. Different political positions have different emphases on the writing of history. In a sense, history is a tool for the rulers to publicize, and the history written by the rulers will always convince you that my appearance is widely expected and my existence will be in line with your fundamental interests.

6. consider the interests of the persuaded.

People's choices are always made around their own interests. If you can convince the audience that your views, products and opinions are in their interests, then you can convince others.

Usually, in shopping malls, a shopping guide who can help customers make careful calculations and make seemingly inexpensive consumption choices instead of the most expensive ones can do more business. Even in some places that have nothing to do with consumption, such as giving some advice on educating children and answering some problems in life, it will achieve good results.

7. state opinions that are contrary to your own position (interests) in order to convince others.

In the section on how to increase the credibility of propagandists or persuaders, Social Animals mentioned that if a person doesn't get any benefits (and may lose something) when persuading us, we will trust him and he will be more effective. We believe more in the evaluation of users of a product than the evaluation of the product by the product merchants themselves. In our opinion, the evaluation of the merchants is like selling melons, so we need to be vigilant. (User messages that excessively post compliments will also look suspicious to us and will be associated with the gunman's behavior. )

Changing or even subverting your position as a persuader can bring you closer to your audience. Make him feel that you are a bit like one of his own, not an arrogant one? Reactionaries? . That's not the main thing, is it yours? Anti-personal interests (position)? The move hit his heart? Everyone for himself? In order to reduce this cognitive dissonance, he will associate you with such precious words as honesty and selflessness to reasonably explain your abnormal actions.

An elective teacher once told the following students:? Whether you don't choose this elective course is actually meaningless. The exam is also under pressure from the school, but I won't make it difficult for you, but since I'm here, just listen to it. ? Most of these teachers will win the favor of their classmates, and the classroom interaction effect is obvious.

VIII. Inadvertently revealing the information that those who want to be persuaded to accept.

if the audience can be absolutely sure that your words and deeds are not trying to influence him or persuade him, then your credibility can also be increased. This is because if your audience believes that you are not related to his interests, then your words and deeds are neutral to him, and the information you reveal will not be unfavorable to him because of the color of interests, so it is trustworthy.

so how can people be sure that other people's words and deeds are not trying to influence themselves? When we feel that we are bystanders or outsiders in information exchange, especially when we get information that others don't want to disclose through our efforts. For example, you hear other people's conversations or telephone chats, open other people's letters privately, read other people's diaries, access other people's personal computers, and see confidential internal documents of other companies. You will basically believe in this information.

Those conversations, telephone chats, letters and diaries may be presented to you specially. This is one of the skills of persuaders, and it can even be called a trick. Jiang Gan volunteered to cross the river to see Zhou Yu. He stole a secret letter from Zhou Yu's account and presented it to Cao Cao. Cai Mao Zhang Yun was beheaded.

I also saw such a story:? Cao Wei in Song Dynasty knew about Weizhou and ordered Ming Su, and Xixia people feared it. One day, Wei Fang will play chess with the guest, and there will be thousands of rebellions and death in the summer. When the rider (the detective on horseback) reported, the generals looked after each other and laughed as usual. Xu said riding:? It's my life, so don't say anything. ? The Xixia people heard about it and thought that they would attack themselves and kill them. ? Some subordinates defected to the enemy, and Cao Wei told his own people that those subordinates were following orders and successfully persuaded Xixia people to help them clean up their homes.

In our life, we often see some poor persuaders who complain impatiently to the mobile phone in front of you. Don't ask me for instructions for such a small order of 12 million! ? Chat and laugh.

9. Tell the persuaded what most people do.

According to the analysis of herd mentality, under the condition of unclear information, individuals think that groups have more information, stronger judgment and more efficient decision-making ability than individuals. When they hesitate in the face of a scene, others' behavior becomes a reliable source of information and an effective guide to action.

the clumsy move of this strategy is to forge or rape public opinion, and to use the people's excuse to fulfill personal privacy. The usual tone is either? People have said? , or is it? The broad masses of peasant brothers generally believe that? Dengfeng is the best thing: everyone on earth knows it.

there is another trick, that is, arrangement? Childcare? . What is the name of the cloth seller? Bhutto? What is the name of the shoe seller? Shoe care? . When you see a doctor? Medical care? Will you meet the lead applause at the party? Take care of the children? , there are leading flowers? Flower care? . In a word, just to show you, we are all like this. Why don't you hurry up?

1. sublimate one's purpose to the height of universal value.

Tsinghua University takes self-improvement and morality as its motto, rather than cultivating talents with high salaries and high social status.