The Broken Writer Ahan and the Death of a Girl

The writer wrote in "The Soul Returns to Akan·Final Chapter": "Including Lanzi, I met five people who were very close to Junko. Plus myself, from exactly six directions I stared at Junko. If Junko is a hexahedron like a crystal, then it should be possible to see through her six sides. In other words, I was still 17 at the time. Although the 17-year-old boy loves Junko endlessly, he is just a kid after all. He doesn’t even understand the true relationship between men and women..."

This 17-year-old kid is indeed the author Watanabe. Bian Chunyi.

"The Soul Returns to Akan" is undoubtedly a novel with the theme of love. To use Watanabe's favorite term, it is a "novel for men and women". It should have been included in "Ice Pattern" and "High Wind" , "Hokuto Story" series, but he took it out himself. The essay "Night Blows by the South Wind" reveals the secret: ""The Soul Returns to Akan" is rare in my works, and it is a work with a strong autobiographical color. The heroine Junko is a real person, and she is my second year in high school. The person I was in love with at that time committed suicide on the snowy Akan Lake in the winter of her third year of high school. Her real name was Junko, and her sister's name was Ranko. Real names are usually avoided when using real people as models. But for this novel, I wanted to use my real name. For this reason, I went to her house and asked her mother for permission to write this novel. She also asked me to use my real name. It’s because she is indeed Junko, and I feel like she can’t write it with a name other than Junko. Only the surname of Ren was fake at that time. In fact, if the surname is added to Qing, there is probably no problem with it now.”

Watanabe kept the only photo of him and Junko. Junko's face looked very mature, while Watanabe looked like a silly boy. This Watanabe said this 30 years after Junko's death: "For me, Junko's existence is significant. I often hear the saying 'women are made by men', but sometimes men are made by women. She This is indeed the case with my relationship. Precisely because it was during adolescence that my sensibilities were most acute, her influence was strongly retained in me in the future. I indulged in slightly depraved entertainment, was obsessed with women, and was a little awake. Being enveloped by the boredom that everyone will die sooner or later can be said to be caused by falling in love with her. "To what extent did the woman Junko create the man Watanabe? Perhaps there is more to Junko, the heroine. It is a projection of the life and mentality of a middle-aged male writer.

In July 1971, Junichi Watanabe began to serialize "The Soul Returns to Akan" in the magazine "Woman Publicon". The young writer who appears in the first chapter is Watanabe himself, and the photographer in the fifth chapter is said to be Okamura Akihiko, the late author of "Military Records of the South Vietnam War". If it is said that "dying in the snowy Lake Akan in the end is also a performance to make oneself look beautiful," isn't it precisely because there is an audience? Writers, painters, reporters, doctors, photographers, and even my sister, all kinds of people. Watanabe was born in 1933. After the war, the school system was reformed into a six-three-three-four-year system. In the second grade of high school, he was in a coeducational school. He and Junko Kazuo were in the same class, which sparked his first love. It has been 20 years since Junko died, and the 40-year-old writer has also experienced sexual purgatory. At this time, the Junko he was thinking about could no longer be "pure". "Junko loves no one." When we look at the people around her, especially men, from this perspective, we can see all kinds of despicability. The author explores Junko's heart and wants to shape her into a winner who freely controls life and death, so that she intentionally or unintentionally ignores the "harm" of the surrounding world to her. The real Junko, whose father is a famous educator, showed her talent for painting when she was in junior high school and studied under a certain painter. When she was 15 years old, her works were selected for the Hokkaido Art Exhibition and she became a "genius girl painter". Perhaps this was the beginning of the tragedy of her precocious life. Young girls who have doubts about their talents are lured into the sex trap of "a virgin cannot draw Romeo and Juliet", and ultimately do not get happy sex or love. When Junko died, it was not because she had seen through the world, but precisely because she had not seen through it. A pornographic corpse may be used to show that she has the freedom to choose in life, and at the same time to take revenge on those who hunted her with so-called love, even if their loss and despair are only temporary. In April 1952, when the body of Junko Kasei was discovered, Junichi Watanabe was admitted to Hokkaido University, and immediately began to fall in love with another woman (Ide in the novel "Silhouette: The Story of Love and Sex of a Certain Boy" published in 1990 Sakiko), embarks on his sexual journey. Watanabe said: After dating Junko, if you ask which one is dominant, the spirit or the body, he can't help but answer immediately that it is the body.

Junichi Watanabe wrote in "The Soul Returns to Akan: Final Chapter": "The conclusion reached after 20 years is unexpectedly simple and ordinary. To actually search so hard to reach such a conclusion, it seems like A fool." That's interesting.