21 hilarious lines of copywriting that make you laugh so hard that you can’t stop the car

1. I secretly liked a boy in my class and wanted to create an opportunity to be alone, so I secretly deflated his bicycle. When he came to pick up the car, I popped out and said: Your tire is flat, let me give you a lift. Boy: I just saw you puncturing my tire upstairs.

2. Sometimes I feel that I have become ugly. When I take out my ID card, I realize that I am worrying too much.

3. When I was walking in the mall, an aunt pulled me and said: "Daughter, I want to buy a dress for my daughter. I think you have a similar figure to my daughter. You can try it on for my daughter." Look. Seeing the aunt's willing eyes, I had no choice but to agree and followed her to a maternity and baby counter.

4. There are two people named Wang in the department, one is the leader and the other is the employee. One day, the leader called the employee: "Xiao Wang, come here." The employee ran over and said, "Your Majesty, what do you want from me?"

5. I said to my wife: "I dare to put my bank account in the bank." All the money in your bank card will be transferred to your bank card. Do you dare to transfer all the money in your bank card to my card?” My wife slapped me and said, “There is something wrong in your bank card?” Do you still have money? ”

6. Why I can’t lose weight is because I like to eat when I am happy and have a better appetite when I am unhappy.

7. Even though I am usually indifferent to you, I actually say a lot of bad things about you behind your back.

8. Buyer: "Boss, how long can this turtle live?" Seller: "It depends on how you raise it. If you raise it well, it will send you away..."

9. Likes are really a very cold way of expression. You don’t give the other person any chance to reply, you just silently tell others that I have read it!

10. I get jealous when I see others making money, but I don’t have the ability, so I have to change my direction and close my eyes.

11. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" His father said: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?"

12. The secret to telling fellow men that you don’t have to wash the dishes is to deliberately break the dishes every time your wife asks you to wash the dishes. If your wife feels sorry for the things, she won’t let you wash the dishes. This is what I summed up while kneeling on the washboard. experience!

13. When I say "anything", I mean: I am too lazy to think about it, and I can't think of a good one. Although it is up to you, you must think of me. Only if you are satisfied.

14. What was the most serious consequence of being naughty as a child? ——When I was a child, I was playing on a city wall and accidentally lost my footing. Kicked people off the wall.

15. Advertisements on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements on taxis: Traffic jam? Take the subway!

16. I accidentally left my phone in the taxi, but luckily, the driver unlocked it and called my friend to tell me to get the phone back. I asked the driver: "I unlocked it by face recognition. How did you open it?" The driver said: "I opened it in front of Wang Yuan's poster."

17. I have two hobbies , divided into static and dynamic, static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over.

18. Today I learned a way to identify hundred-dollar bills: burn them with fire. If they are gray after burning, they are real money, and if they are black, they are fake money. I tried five cards in a row, and they were all real money, so happy!

19. I am very afraid of someone saying to me, "Tell me something to you." My heart beats faster when I see it. In contemporary society, typing speed is already so fast. It is recommended that everyone speak directly when they have something to say. The most terrifying thing is to leave it unresolved.

20. I passed by a lawn yesterday and saw this slogan: Today you step on my head, next year I will grow on your grave.

21. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but between Monday morning and Friday afternoon.