"The golden hoop makes a good man, and it's not bad to hit a child."

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It is not without reason and scientific basis that the golden hoop has produced good people since ancient times. It's good to hit children by weight.

Many of my classmates have such parents, most of whom are educators, with clear rewards and punishments.

Their children, except for a few cases, are introverted and calm, and have developed good study habits and polite attitudes towards others since childhood.

However, as adults, they are not close to their parents.

Their relationship is similar to that of Zheng Huan and his mother in the TV series Please Answer 1988.

Zheng Huan's mother, known as Mrs. Leopard Head, is hot and cold and doesn't love Zheng Huan and her brother.

However, due to his brother's illness, the husband and wife always thought that Zheng Huan was a normal and healthy child, so they ignored Zheng Huan's feelings and cared more about his brother, which led to Zheng Huan's unwillingness to communicate with his mother when he became an adult, and his brother was also very gentle.

Sun-woo is the same age as Jin Huan and shares everything with her mother. She is proud to say that there are no secrets between her and her son. She reflected on her past negligence, but time cannot go back.

Of course, at the end of the TV series, Zheng Huan and her mother had the opportunity to study and re-establish intimate relations.

But in many adult worlds, there are no more opportunities to learn to fall in love with parents again.

Great writer Wang Shuo wrote in his book to his daughter:

I don't remember loving my parents.

When I was young, I was afraid of them. When I grew up, I began to bother them. Later, I pointed my finger at Maimang and quarreled with them.

Later, I ignored them and avoided them. On the one hand, I feel responsible for them and should be kind to them, but I just can't do it or pretend that I can't.

Later, the thought of them made me sad.

For her mother, Wang Shuo thinks that there is no "love" in her dictionary: "That's what my mother can't understand. It is her love to have a child who is always right. "

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A writer can be self-aware, so he hopes that between him and his daughter:

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Not blood, not filial piety, not nurturing and feeding back, but intimacy.

Because there is love, you should say every word well.

It's hard to learn to love without being loved.

My husband was born in a family with many children.

At that time, the living conditions were quite difficult, parents were forced to make a living, it was still difficult to take care of their children's food and clothing, and emotional care was almost barren.

After the birth of our child, we cherish the affection between father and son at first, and once we encounter extreme situations, we return to the original rage mode.

For example, when a child wakes up from a nap and cries, he will hug and coax him at first. If not, he will collapse, put the child on the sofa, blame the child and stop crying! Stop crying! At this time, the child will cry even more.

I held the child in my arms and asked him, are you still awake?

That's right.

Do you feel uncomfortable when dad yells at you?

Yes, he yelled at me.

Dad did something wrong. Do you want to forgive him?

Don't.

Ok, let's play for a while, then tell dad that dad is not allowed to yell at me, and then forgive him, ok?

All right.

After calming the children's emotions, it is necessary to calm the emotions of the older children in time.

My husband said unjustly, I really don't know why I always cry so hard. My child is nothing like me, not strong at all.

I felt funny and said, I cried when I was sad. This is a way for me to vent my emotions. Aren't children allowed to express it and let him block it in his mind? Moreover, he has just slept, is still in a sleepy state, and is in a bad mood. Children can only express themselves by crying. At this time, he just needs to be patient with him for a while and wait for him to release the pressure.

After listening, his expression relaxed a lot. Began to ask me again, why do children always want me to play with them? Other children can find children of the same age. Is his communication ability so poor?

I asked my husband, why do children always want you to play with them? Do you know why? It shows that your company is very meaningful and makes him feel particularly happy. He usually plays with other children, completely according to his mood. Haven't you always liked someone? Is there a problem? Being alone is a rare ability. He has learned it since he was a child. Isn't that proud of you?

After listening, Mr. Wang completely relaxed himself.

At this time, my son woke up and offered to build him a building block. This is an act of "showing goodwill". I told my husband that my son's EQ is higher than yours.

Once, my son drank yogurt, was full and ready to play, and almost fell on the table. My husband shouted at him hard not to do this, and the child trembled with fear on the spot.

Then make a "stop" gesture and say to the gentleman, don't yell at me!

Mr. Wang was surprised, then held the child in his arms and said, I'm sorry, I'll talk about it later.

Yuan Chuan of Taiwan Province Province once made an advertisement with a story in it. After dressing up in the studio, the little girl was filled with joy, hoping that her mother would see it soon, so she called her mother.

Mom said, oh, I'm still riding a bike. Don't call. I'll be right there!

The little girl was a little sad, but considerate of her mother, so she sat on the sofa and waited calmly.

After waiting for a while, I called my mother again.

Mother scolded her face and said stop fighting. I'll be right there! Then hang up the phone rudely.

Hearing this, the little girl burst into tears.

On the other side of the studio, my mother also saw this scene.

This is a simulated real conversation. My mother felt guilty when she saw the little girl crying. Before that, this kind of thing happened to little girls every day.

Is it just like this, the child and we have gone away step by step?

In this world, no one will look forward to your arrival like a child. Why do we always fail?

Invisible harm does not mean that it does not exist.

Because of love, every word is easy to say.

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Because there is love, we should "see" more.

When I was brushing Weibo in the morning, I saw the story about "Hao Hao" in Super Parenting Teacher.

The problem that mom and dad ask for help is: Hao Hao doesn't get up in the morning, so he has to hug when he goes out.

And with the help of the lens, what we really see is:

Hao Hao felt sleepy when he got up in the morning, so his mother "dragged" him out of bed and "threw" him into the bathroom, asking for a quick wash. Dad said, don't be in such a hurry. The child is in a bad mood now. During the crowded time, mom and dad had a quarrel.

On the way home, my mother accused Hao Hao of just hugging, so she kept going. The endless traffic made people feel very worried, and the children kept crying.

I can't stop screaming.

A child's cry, a mother's cry, a husband's impatience. ...

The world of adults is not easy.

It is not easy for dad to go to work to support his family and go home to take care of his children.

My mother is a full-time housewife. It is not easy to do housework and take care of children.

But the hardest thing is the children.

Don't forget, he came with love and joy.

Adults who generally adopt this kind of upbringing are completely unaware of the harm it brings.

Therefore, the program group presented a new way to let mom stay in a room and play her yelling voice repeatedly every day.

Finally, she collapsed. ...

The teacher in the program said, do you know:

Why does the child want you to hold it? Have you thought about the reason? If you take one step, the children have to take five steps to catch up. ...

Why are children especially obedient in the vegetable market? Because he is attracted by the things around him, at this age, he is curious about these things, but what do you think? Don't bother me. I don't want to talk about it. You are simply wasting his learning opportunities. ...

Children can play by themselves at home, which is the dream of all parents, but it is a big mistake for you to tell him not to make noise or even express it in a rude way. ...

If you can't control your emotions for so long, you will only betray your relatives and friends, and your relatives and children will leave you.

My mother has a good friend who once raised her son in the form of stories.

Now 55 years old, divorced in his forties, and his son goes out to work. She once lived in a close family in three cities.

What saddens her most is that her son calls at most once a year and never gives her money.

She sighed, really shouldn't have raised children, spent so much thought, raised baiwenhang.

Maybe she forgot that there used to be more than twenty sticks at home to beat children. ...

Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives.

You may say, why do you always talk about childhood and family background? Is it too fussy?

Adler, the founder of "individual psychology", wrote in the book "Children's Personality Education": Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives.

Traditional education always thinks that strict education that ignores children's inner needs can make a person grow up faster. The so-called dutiful son, a dutiful son comes out under the stick.

The opposite is true.

People who lack love in childhood are more likely to be self-centered. They subconsciously refused to grow up and sought unconditional childhood love all their lives.

That's why we never agree: jing wong makes heroes.