Let's tell some jokes, which will make people laugh their heads off.

Director Zhang of a bureau suddenly received an urgent telegram. The message is: my mother died, my father is dying, and I hope to return as soon as possible. After reading it, Zhang was in great pain, crying and signing the telegram receipt. The postman glanced at it, but it was actually the word "agree".

2. Xiaoming learns to speak

Xiaoming is five years old and can't speak yet. One day, his mother asked him to learn to speak outside, and Xiao Ming went out.

The first place he went to, he saw a house collapse, and a man shouted over there:

"The building collapsed! The building collapsed! "

Xiao Ming will remember it.

The second place he went to, he saw two people fighting. One of them said, "Come if you dare!" "

Xiao Ming remembered again.

In the third place he went, he saw a child beating his grandfather. Grandpa said, "If you hit him again, he won't give you candy!" " "

Xiao Ming remembered again.

When he got home, his mother asked him, "Xiaoming, what words did you learn?" ! "

Xiao Ming said, "The building collapsed! The building collapsed! "

Mom hurried downstairs, and when she saw it, the building didn't collapse.

Mom came into the room and said, smelly boy, how dare you lie to mom! I want to hit you. "

Little Ming Dow: "Dead boy, come and fight if you dare!" "

Mom hit Xiaoming.

Xiao Ming said, "If you hit Grandpa again, Grandpa won't give you candy!" " "

Mom is dizzy!

3, the name of the disaster

Three brothers, the eldest is called age, the second is called culture, and the third is called joke. Parents are old, and their legs and feet are inconvenient. Three brothers go up the mountain to cut firewood. When they came back from chopping wood, their neighbors saw the fathers of the three brothers and asked, "What's the matter?" Father: "I am old and have no culture at all, but there is a short joke."

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "Xiao Ming, 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "I don't know." The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family."

Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, who was quarrelling with others. Xiao Ming asked, "Mom 1+ 1=?" Mom said, "Asshole!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= asshole; Xiaoming went to ask his father again. Dad is drinking beer. Xiao Ming asked, "Dad 1+ 1=?" Dad said, "Cool!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= cool; Xiaoming went to ask grandpa again. Grandpa is watching TV. Xiao Ming asked, "Grandpa 1+ 1=?" Grandpa said, "gangster!" "Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= gang boss; Xiaoming asked his sister who was singing the national anthem: people who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= people who don't want to be slaves; Xiaoming went to ask his sister who was singing children's songs: rabbit, open the door! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= bunny opens the door.

The next day, the teacher asked, "Xiaoming 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "Asshole." "Pa" teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably, "Who taught you?" Ming Dow Jr.: "The boss of the gang." The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiaoming sings: People who don't want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out. Xiaoming knocked at the door and sang, Little Rabbit, please open the door. The teacher fainted!

5. What gift do you want?

Three children asked their mother; "Mom, today is your birthday, and we want to give you a gift. What do you want? " "I just want three obedient children." "Ah," cried the boss, "so we are not six brothers?"