When I was a sophomore, my best friend became a peripheral girl.

When I started writing good friends, I felt very heavy, and some didn't want to mention it. I miss her more and more after hearing the news that she is seriously ill recently.

I have known you since high school. We are in the next class. She was still a little fat at that time. When she smiles, her dimples are very sweet ... We both clean the corridor every Wednesday, and that's how we met. Slowly, we eat together, go shopping together and encourage each other to learn. We survived the long and boring days of senior three. The happiest thing is that we have been admitted to the same major in the same university. We were overjoyed when we received the news. This country is full of tree-lined roads, riding bicycles, singing out-of-tune songs ~ laughing and talking about good ideas for the future. Passers-by all take us for fools ~

Ya's family is not very good. When he was in college, his father fell downstairs while working on the construction site, so he could no longer work in the fields. His family lives on the income of her mother who works in a clothing factory. He also has a sister who goes to middle school and a younger brother who goes to primary school. I seldom saw Xiao Ya during my freshman year. She always works part-time, selling rice in the canteen during the day, tutoring at night and Sunday, or handing out leaflets as a hostess. Our communication is also less. Sometimes she is short of people on a part-time job, so I work with her. At that time, although it was hard and the labor was cheap, it was sweet to sit at a roadside stall after a busy day.

Once, Julia asked me, she was so embarrassed. Is she worthy of love? I told her that every girl has the right to have it, rich or poor. It turned out that a boy in high school had a crush on her. Later, when I was admitted to a university in a nearby city, I began to pursue elegance. In the first half of sophomore year, Ya agreed, and they started a long-distance relationship. At first, the relationship was sweet and pleasant. He will come to see her every weekend, and Ya will run to the dormitory as excited as a child to chat with me and share their little things.

Slowly, something went wrong between them, and her boyfriend began to blame her. She always goes out to work part-time, and she has to cut more than half on weekends, and she doesn't go to see him! He also told her that there was a beautiful girl in the class who liked him ... so they started quarreling. They broke up after a big fight. After breaking up, Ya suddenly lost more than ten catties, and she has no intention of taking a part-time job. She still couldn't bear to let go of that relationship, so she went to her boyfriend's school to find him, but he already had a girlfriend, a beautiful girl with a good family and a lot of time to spend with him.

After coming back, Ya told me that she stood in front of the girl, like a beggar and an ugly duckling. She works hard and scrimps all day, but she can't change the status quo of poverty at all, even if she is in love, she can't go on. Why? I encouraged her to stick to it and accompany her to watch the movie "Storm on Harvard Road". She just kept silent and lost her hope in her eyes.

After the winter vacation of my sophomore year, I saw Ya again. She has changed so much that I dare not recognize her. She cut off her double eyelids, had a rhinoplasty, and painted inappropriate heavy makeup ... She skipped class all day, didn't go back to the dormitory, and rarely turned on her cell phone. Later, the classmates in her dormitory told me: Your hometown is so shameful. Why don't you talk about her after doing that?

It never occurred to me that she had changed just because her family was poor and she lacked material things. After all, her heart is fragile and the reality is grinding!

Finally, when I asked her to meet, she answered my phone and gave me the address of the most luxurious hotel in this city. When I entered the room, I saw her smoking on the sofa wrapped in a bathrobe, and her head was covered with curly hair that was out of proportion to her age. She told me that everything was changing so fast that it was cool to have money without working. Now she can help her family lighten the burden, with brand-name bags, brand-name shoes and brand-name clothes, and live in a luxurious and comfortable room every day. I don't have to be in the same room with those girls who talk endlessly every day ... I can't immerse myself in the enviable state she described, but I can only keep silent and have no mood to dispel her excitement, and I am not qualified to criticize her. After all, it was her choice.

When I got back to school, she gave me some clothes with labels. "I can't wear them at school. You can wear them. Keep them. " Say that finish and left the door. I am in an atmosphere. I'm not angry with her. I don't know what happened. Anger has come, perhaps because this reality has changed people, or because people easily succumb to reality!

In my junior year, I began to get busy. I am busy looking for an internship unit and doing research, and the course is very tight. I can hardly see her figure. Listening to her classmates, the counselor warned her several times that she would be expelled if she didn't return to school!

Once, I was washing clothes in the dormitory, and a classmate from her class ran over and told me to hurry over! It is said that several girls put her on the bed and fought. I rushed over and the scene in front of me scared me. Five or six girls tore at her and cursed her with words like SAO Lang. It took me a long time to get rid of them, and then I looked at you. I was so embarrassed that I was unkempt and put on makeup, and my face and neck were scratched several times ~

It took a long time to know that Ya went to several dorms and asked her if she would be a chat partner, which aroused the disgust of several girls and hit her. I took a taxi with her to the hotel to help her apply medicine. She asked me with a wry smile, "Does everyone think I'm cheap?" As for hating me so much, hate me? "I told her to turn around and stop doing it. She was silent for a while and said,' I can't go back!

Since that incident, all the students around her have turned her away and are disgusted. I really don't understand their attitude, and so does our dormitory. Whenever Ya comes to my dormitory, they spit at her, scold her and even warn me that if I make friends with her again, they will ignore me. I'm depressed, as for it? Is driving like a fly so ugly and disgusting? Therefore, I am also silent in the dormitory, and I feel that everyone's hearts have suddenly changed. So cold and thin!

Ya also told me that the girls in their dormitory wouldn't let her live! Throw her things downstairs, or mop the floor as garbage ... I don't want to say anything, but I still think in my heart: after all, my classmates fought, is this too much? No matter what each other does, they should respect each other.

But Ya is kind. She tried to avoid her classmates and remained silent in the face of many accusations and malicious attacks.

Time always flies so fast! It's too late to turn back. Last time I saw her, I was about to graduate. I passed her at the corner of the dormitory stairs. She is bloated, covered with perfume and wearing a long black lace dress. We looked at each other and didn't speak. Actually, there is no need to talk about anything. The emergence of reality has made each other have no strength to speak.

I know she has breasts, and every once in a while, she will do some cosmetic surgery. I know that she often takes birth control pills and her irregular life leads to obesity. I know she remits half of her income to her family every month, and she has miscarried several times ... but what's the use of knowing this? After all, it's all her personal experience and has nothing to do with others.

Last summer vacation, we talked. She told me happily that she took money to build a building in her hometown, let her sister-in-law go to a good school, let her father go to a good hospital for treatment, and let her walk in the fields ... She also sent a photo to Hong Kong. In the photo, there is not a trace of her innocence and cuteness, just like the female anchor in the popular Internet Celebrity. A man over half a year old stood beside her with a beer belly.

I hope she can find a man to live with, she said, impossible. There is no love in her life, and she doesn't believe it! Just live and muddle along.

Ya is a good girl, always has been. She didn't steal or rob. No matter what she does, she still earns money to support her family. She still cares about everyone in the family, happy because of their worries, worried because of their worries ... but she forgot herself and buried herself in the dust.

I remembered a flower I saw when I was pulling grass in the countryside when I was a child. It is violet, with a pattern like a flying butterfly and a pale yellow stamen. It has a faint fragrance, and I smelled it carefully, which is very leisurely and refreshing. It produces edible seeds, like small beans, chewed in the mouth, a little astringent, but with a sweet aftertaste. I like this kind of wild flowers very much. It has a strong vitality and grows with other grasses, but few of them grow to fruition, and most of them are pulled out and dried as weeds ~ I sometimes hate throwing them home and planting them in pots, but they don't live long, and the flowers wither and die. When I think of elegance, I can't help thinking of this kind of flowers and plants. I don't know why.

Last week, I heard a classmate in her village mention her and told me that she was ill and seemed to be very heavy. She lived in the provincial hospital and was taken care of by her mother. I don't want to contact her, and I don't want to know what happened to her. I don't want to contact or know, but I don't want to disturb! I just want to silently wish her a speedy recovery.

Now, when I see those vulgar pictures about online celebrities and charming female anchors ... I don't feel disgusted anymore and don't want to say anything. Being your own person and trying to live is worthy of respect and silence, isn't it?

I hope everyone alive can be himself, choose his own way, have no regrets and give himself an innocent and lovely smile!

I hope that no matter how hard we girls work, we should cherish ourselves, maintain an independent spiritual and material life, have full positive energy, make every decision, don't be persistent, don't envy, don't be jealous …