Can the quality of family background really affect the current relationship between husband and wife?

Marriage is like an elastic rubber band, reflecting the state of life. Too loose, no sense of family responsibility; Too tight, I feel unable to breathe, and I have no sense of freedom and space. Only by maintaining a tight state can marriage be happy and beautiful.

Family of origin's way of life will continue to the next generation. The lifestyle of husband's family will affect the lifestyle of men. A woman's marriage to a man will affect her lifestyle and marriage.

Born into a noble family, he wrote:? When you base most of your life decisions on your parents' feelings, you are giving up your free choice. If you always put your parents' feelings first in your mind, then your life will be controlled by them. ?

This is a part of family of origin's personality defect in the process of growing up, which has a great influence on his later feelings and normal life, and even his future and pattern concept.

It is easy for a man to be immature and unable to protect his wife when he is an adult. Ma Baonan? 、? Giant baby? Also appeared, and became a woman's nightmare.

In marriage, the mother-in-law judges her daughter-in-law's lifestyle by living habits, which easily leads to conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The husband is influenced by his mother-in-law's lifestyle, and he also feels that his wife is not doing well, which will increase the contradictions in marriage.

02

The habit of being born in a family is sometimes like a thorn stuck in a woman's marriage throat, which she can't swallow or get out.

Sui Yan and Sun Chu are congenial. They have been in love for three years and are going to enter the marriage hall.

When discussing how to deal with the marriage, the thrifty mother-in-law immediately said: Our family is not rich either. In my opinion, it's still simple. Just book a restaurant and set some tables. Those western-style wedding ceremonies are not necessary, that is, going through the formalities and then inviting an acquaintance to be a witness and put on a show. ?

The wedding mentioned by her mother-in-law is incompatible with the wedding expected by Sui Yan. She told Sun Chu a long time ago that if she wanted a romantic and warm wedding, she needed an auditorium, a red carpet, a full-time photographer and a western-style wedding.

But Sun Chuquan forgot the meeting. He agreed with his mother. Just listen to mom's arrangement. ?

Sui Yan doesn't want to wronged herself. She looked at Sun Chu and said, get married once, I don't want to wronged myself. ?

Mother-in-law went on to say: You don't even have the money to buy a house or a car. If you simply hold a wedding and add some money, it will be enough to pay the down payment on the house. There are many places to spend money in the future. ?

Yan Yan said: If it's cheaper not to get married, then why did you let your son marry a wife? ? Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began to quarrel after a few words together. No matter what happens, you will never agree on everything.

Mother-in-law is going to refute. Sun Chu thinks Suiyan has something in her heart, as if to say that she won't marry if he can't give her the wedding she wants.

Sun Chu immediately stopped his mother and said? Mom, follow the swallow. It didn't cost much. ?

The wedding was arranged according to Suiyan's request, but her mother-in-law still detained several links. She thinks it's a waste of money for her daughter-in-law to get married.

The wedding was also held, relatives and friends left, and the daughter-in-law married into the house. My mother-in-law has been crying tired, but she doesn't go to wash and rest. Instead, sit down and count the expenses when you get married.

There are some other expenses, such as catering and setting up the wedding scene, which cost 200 thousand. Mother-in-law shouted: What kind of marriage is this? What kind of daughter-in-law did you marry? So expensive, so expensive. My heart can't stand it. ?

Yan Dou was not happy when she heard her mother-in-law's yelling, but she put up with it. But in the later days, my mother-in-law still looked at Suiyan.

On the day Suiyan returned home, she bought some expensive gifts and went back to her family. When my mother-in-law saw it, she was chanting again. If you go back to the door, you must burn money. How can you live this life? ?

He also said to his son: Look, son, this is the wife you married with 200,000 yuan. It's embarrassing. ?

The lifestyle of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very different from that of Suiyan, so there are often contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Usually two people cook, buy cabbage or eat rape, noodles should be round or flat, vegetables should be fried with sweet noodle sauce or soy sauce, and soup before or after meals should be debated.

No one will give up and there is no way to build a good relationship. These are small things. The point is that my mother-in-law doesn't like Sui Yan's attitude of spending money. She spent more than 3,000 yuan on a new curtain, nearly 2,000 yuan on a silk quilt, and bought two beds at once.

Not to mention the usual expenses, eating a fish today, eating a chicken tomorrow, and buying a big bag of snacks in the supermarket is not even how much money you earn, and it is not my son's hard money. It hurts to think about it.

Every time my mother-in-law complains that her daughter-in-law spends a lot of money, she will also mention the 200 thousand she spent when she got married. She once thought that Emperor Yangdi was a failure. The daughter-in-law didn't let go until her son taught her a lesson.

Looking at the courier brought back by Yan Yan, whether the daughter-in-law bought it for home or private use, the mother-in-law also had to recite it.

What Suiyan can't stand is that every time the family eats together, her mother-in-law starts sleeping with Suiyan? Politics class? :? Earn every penny, save money when you should spend it, eat when you can, and spend the rest blindly. ?

Sui Yan can't help it every time. When chopsticks fall to refute, Sun Chu pulls her to stop her from talking. Also said:? Mom's right. If we listen to mom, we can live a good life. Mom's experience is very valuable. We should learn with an open mind?

Sui Yan is so angry that she can't eat any food every time. The family lives together, full of contradictions.

03

When men can't understand the boundaries of marriage, they also need women to maintain it, guide men to correctly understand marriage, and keep a distance from their families in life.

Strawberries have just come into the market. Sui Yan's favorite is strawberries, which happens to be a group purchase. She bought a small box for 100 yuan, cleaned it and put it on the dining table when she got home.

At this time, her mother-in-law saw it, and she began to scold: How much is a catty of strawberries? You bought so much at once. My son is on a business trip, so he eats a ten-dollar box lunch at noon. He can't even eat an egg. Are you delicate? ?

You said you were old, and you were as greedy and lazy as a child. How can we live well like this? Look at your peers, who is better than you! ?

Sui Yan felt that she just bought strawberries for early adopters, but she was angered by her mother-in-law and didn't want to be scolded by her mother-in-law. She said: I live with my husband, but also have my own standard of living and material enjoyment. Just like you, you pickled a jar of pickles and ate them for half a year without any nutrition.

We are all adults, have our own way of life and have the right to control our property. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it. It doesn't cost you a penny, and you can't control it. ?

It is natural for me to spend my husband's money. Mom, you really shouldn't get involved?

The two men quarreled fiercely. When Sun Chu came back from work, he still helped his mother criticize and taught his wife a lesson. You, too, just buy an expensive fruit of 10 yuan and 8 yuan and try it. We are not rich, so save it if you can. Mom did it for us, too, okay?

Sui Yan was crying and laughing. She knew she didn't do it. we? Well, her mind is full of sons and she doesn't spend a penny. Only the family pays for it is her ideal daughter-in-law.

The husband has always kept her mother-in-law calm and never defended her, and Sui Yan became more and more chilling.

In the past, when Sun Chu chased her, she bought her more than 50 yuan of cherries without blinking. Now, if she eats a few strawberries, she will get to this point.

Sui Yan still loves her husband very much, but after going through the disputes between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law, her husband stood by her mother-in-law again and again, making her love more and more confused.

She didn't want to put up with it any longer, so she had a good talk with her husband and said that she would either live separately from her mother-in-law or get divorced. She didn't want to live this noisy life any more, so she began to pack.

Sun Chu seems to be awakened. He apologized to his wife and promised to communicate with her mother-in-law. If not, he will move out and rent a house.

When the mother-in-law heard this, she saw her daughter-in-law packing her bags and knew that her son and daughter-in-law were moving out, so she was in a hurry. She said that moving out and renting a house would cost money. Because she was reluctant to spend money on renting a house, her mother-in-law said that she had changed.

After that, although her mother-in-law was still distressed by money, she never recited the money spent by Sui Yan. After keeping away from her mother-in-law, Suiyan's married life is much more comfortable.

When a woman is more restrained in marriage, it's like wearing a skirt that is too small, so that she can't wear it, and she is so sad that she suffocates.

Women feel suffocated when their rights are interfered and deprived. Sometimes the problem is not love itself, but other family members forcibly interfere in marriage. For example: mother-in-law

Mother-in-law's behavior and habits affect a woman's life and her husband's marriage.

04

Born into a noble family, he said: Home is the transmission channel of love and warmth, and it is also the transmission channel of hate and injury. But filial piety allows us to see only the former, while denying the latter. ?

In marriage, men deliberately blur the boundaries between family members and marriage, implying that their wives live in their own family style, regardless of her feelings, and think that their mothers are completely correct, so families should develop in this direction.

In fact, this is disrespect for his wife and her lifestyle. It is not good to communicate with her too little.

Just considering the family background and forgetting that the wife also needs her own care and understanding, marriage will have problems.

How much to spend and where to spend it are all issues that young couples should communicate. Mother can guide them, but she can't force them to live.

Everyone has different quality requirements for their own life. If you want to be kind to your children, you should also pay attention to your own language and methods, and treat your son and daughter-in-law equally, not just ask your daughter-in-law what to do.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live under the same roof, and they should keep their distance in life. Only by getting along moderately can the family be harmonious.

Fan Meisheng has a famous saying in Ode to Joy:? A person's family is her destiny. ?

In a man's world, if you can't leave your family and support the marriage of two people, then you can't make your wife feel safe, let alone make your life have a correct track.

It is the beginning of a man's growth to draw a clear line with his family.

Only in this way can we truly distinguish right from wrong, control our own lives, protect the happiness of our families, and make our lives more complete, whether detours or smooth sailing.

Keeping a distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can reduce contradictions. A daughter-in-law has a daughter-in-law lifestyle, and her mother-in-law needs to respect her life.

Knowing how to respect each other between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can make the family harmonious and the marriage happy.