An essay with commentary for full marks in the high school entrance examination, preferably narrative, about 600 words

Full score example 1

I understood the look in my eyes that shocked me

A candidate from Zunyi

Last summer vacation, I followed my father Mom went to Huangguoshu Scenic Area for a trip. Of course, Huangguoshu Scenic Area has many scenic spots and charming scenery, but it left no trace in my mind. Only the eyes of a peer deeply shocked me.

It was a rainy afternoon. I took a car with my parents to Huangguoshu Scenic Area. After the rain, Huangguoshu Scenic Area seemed much quieter. As soon as I got off the bus, I met an enthusiastic and beautiful little girl.

"Are you here to travel? Okay, I'll be your tour guide for free." She looked at us, shook her head, and there was a hint of innocence in her talkative eyes. Come with curiosity. "Okay." Dad nodded, but I had a little doubt about the curious look in his eyes.

While resting on the way, I just took out my MP3 player and the English novel "Little Women" from my backpack. She immediately came over and pointed at my MP3 player, looking a little confused. "This is an MP3, it can sing." I said in a proud tone. She shook her head, her eyes dimming suddenly. I don't really care. But when she saw the English novel "Little Women" in my hand, her eyes lit up and she looked very excited, as if she had discovered a treasure, and she also stuttered. "Here... show me... okay?" The nonchalant mood just now disappeared, and my heart tightened. How come she hadn't seen anything? I hurriedly handed it to her and she took it carefully with both hands. However, she couldn't understand anything and looked disappointed. At this time, I clearly read a desire in her eyes, a desire that I had never had before, a desire that I could not understand.

After resting, we hit the road again. She kept holding the copy of "Little Women" and asking questions. They asked me questions such as what I studied and whether the teacher had fun in class. I thought her question was really funny, and I really didn’t know how to answer her. She also said she envied me. Oh, I'm really confused. Envious that I am surrounded by piles of homework? Are you envious of me struggling in a sea of ??questions? Do you envy me that I have to carry English novels with me even when traveling? No, maybe she didn't know this at all. "I really... really want to study." She murmured, as if something was about to well up in her eyes. My heart seemed to be blocked by something, and I couldn't say a word. Because all the questions in my mind just now were understood at this moment.

In the evening, my father asked me to write a travelogue, but I had no inspiration. I only had the eyes of that little girl of the same age in my mind, the eyes that could speak, the eyes that could change, that moved my soul. The shocking eyes...

Perhaps, I will never be able to see that little girl, but that look is firmly remembered in my heart...

Featured Summary

Scoring points: beautiful title, beautiful characters, beautiful structure, beautiful language, and beautiful connotation, showing high literary quality.

Expert analysis: This perfect composition is based on real life. Through artistic means, it depicts two teenagers of the same age, one poor and one rich, with different personalities. The poor is simple and the rich is romantic. But they all behave so innocent, simple, kind, and positive, reflecting the voices of children in mountainous areas today, which is very cute. The characteristics of the article can be summarized as follows: 1. The title is beautiful, which adds luster to the full text. 2. Beautiful characters. The personalities of two teenagers of the same age are brought to life. 3. Beautiful structure. The two clues of the little girl's eyes and "my" psychological changes run through the whole story, complementing each other and complementing each other. 4. Beautiful language. Simple and fresh, lively and concise, full of meaning. 5. Beautiful meaning. Seeing the big from the small, a small look reflects the big theme of the current lagging education in mountainous areas.

From the above points, it can be seen that the young author has a certain degree of critical thinking and literary literacy, and is favored by marking teachers.

Full score example 2

I understand the "black-faced" father

A candidate from Zunyi City

I don't know who said this Words: Home is like a stage. One parent plays the "black face" and the other plays the "red face". My dad plays "blackface."

There was a late night. Outside the window, the neon lights of the restaurant were still flashing tiredly, as if they were accompanying me in my studies. When my father found out that I was still up so late, he said, "It's late at night. Let's do it tomorrow." I said, "No! Why do you want me to put today's things to tomorrow?" Dad said angrily. : "What happened to you while you were watching TV? If you can, don't do it!" I was so angry that I tore my homework book into pieces. Dad's face turned black with anger, and he started whipping me with the skipping rope. I fell to the ground with a "wow" sound, holding my legs and screaming that it hurt. "Do you still dare to talk back?" "No... I don't dare anymore..." I said sobs. The living room was dark. Outside the window, the neon lights of the restaurant were still dimly flashing, as if they were crying silently with me.

A few days later, my father asked me quietly: "Do you know I'm wrong?" "Yes, I know." Then he checked my wound and found that my legs were covered with red streaks. "I'm sorry! My hand was too heavy. Can you forgive me, dad?" His voice was very small, and it was clear that he was in pain.

I nodded and considered it "private", but I felt a lot of grievances in my heart...

The next day, because of an article, I got to know him again. My "black face" dad!

The article was called "I Understand Dad". The author hated his father at first, but later in a small incident in life, the author discovered that his father was very great and kind, and he had sacrificed a lot for him. Effort. From then on, he accepted his father's love and lived closely with him.

Writing the book in deep thought, my heart was filled with excitement. What is written in the article seems to be my experience. All the details of my life with my father seemed to be right in front of me: on those rainy evenings, his big hands would always pull the raincoat behind the motorcycle, and he would rather get soaked than let me get a little rain; At night, he always turns off the sound of the TV. He would rather stare at the flowing notes at the bottom of the screen than let any sound disturb me; then...

Although Dad plays the role of "black man" Face", but there are many difficulties. If it is too "dark", it will hurt my self-esteem and make me lose confidence in learning; if it is not "dark", it will make me fearless and develop a bad temper. Thinking about it carefully, the "black-faced" father played the role very well. He left me with room to reflect and repent while I was angry.

Now I keep the shredded homework books as my wake-up call. I made a "three-part agreement" with my father: if he doesn't hit me again, I won't be angry with him again.

Dad is no longer so "black" in my eyes, and we get along as closely as friends.

Now, although my father’s eyes are still so stern, there is a lot of gentleness and kindness in his “black face”. It’s not that the “black-faced” dad has changed, it’s that I understand my “black-faced” dad!

Featured summary

Scoring points: innovative title, icing on the cake; sweet and bitter, exciting; ups and downs, bright and colorful.

Expert analysis: This perfect composition is based on a conflict that once occurred between a stubborn father and son in life. After artistic processing, the strong dramatic color makes people laugh and laugh. When the children had an epiphany, they performed a series of touching and harmonious stories, which were full of praise. This is the most important reason why this article gets full marks. Its characteristics are summarized as follows: 1. The innovative title is the icing on the cake. Adding a "black face" before "Dad" not only increases the literary talent, but also is full of interest, catches the reader's eyeballs, and has a bright and eye-catching artistic effect. 2. It's bittersweet and exciting. The details in the article, such as "beatings in the middle of the night", "silent crying", "inexplicable grievances", "three chapters of agreement", "intimate relationship", etc., contain the ups and downs. His perception of life is picturesque, nuanced and gripping. 3. Ups and downs, bright and colorful. The story about Dad first suppresses and then flourishes, and its plot is full of ups and downs, highlighting Dad's character traits and highlighting the growth process of "I". Its language is bright, colorful, vivid and expressive. For example, the sentence "Neon lights... seem to be crying silently with me" is concise and concise, highlighting "my" desolate and sad mood.

Full score example 3

I understand the Loushan pine

A candidate from Zunyi

It is a tree standing on a cliff Lou Shansong, can you read it?

Look, the rain beats it, the wind destroys it, the frost beats the snow, and the thunder and lightning strike. However, it is not afraid of the wind, knives, snow and axes. In the countless counterattacks and roars, it has developed an iron frame and condensed a strong spirit.

It fights and shouts in the wind and rain, it tears the clouds and mist into pieces, it uses its majesty to force the frost and snow to escape obediently, it uses its hardness to drive away thunder and lightning and stay away...

Everything The desire for life, the struggle for life, and the struggle for life are all displayed in the symphony of destiny shaken by the pines.

Reading the Loushan pine, don’t you think our Qianbei is just a majestic and tall pine?

The rivers of the Jurassic system have been turbulent for thousands of years, and have experienced several rises and falls. Hasn’t this land once witnessed Xiang Yu’s suicide in Wujiang, Liu Zongyuan’s Yi Bozhou, Yang Yinglong’s suicide in Hailong, Zhang Xueliang’s lamentation at Xiaoxi Lake, and other thrilling scenes of competition among heroes? The story?

Gu Yelang’s princely generals, the ancient songs of the Gelao people passed down from generation to generation, the long-standing "beach culture", the famous poetry town Suiyang in China...are these not all in Chinese culture? An integral part?

"I send my sorrowful heart to the bright moon, and follow the wind to the west of Ye Langxi" "Sichuan salt goes to Guizhou, Qin merchants gather in Maotai" "Extremely choose the elegance of China, treasure the soul of China" do not just confirm the literati Did the poets influence, praise and yearn for the culture of northern Guizhou?

At the source of Chishui River and on both sides of Wujiang River, cultural relics such as Diaojiaolou, Millennium Ancient Town, and Qingshi Old Street can be seen everywhere. The poetic and picturesque charm of the landscape can be found everywhere. Isn't this the crystallization of the wisdom of the people of northern Guizhou?

Everyone knows that in January 1935, after the Zunyi Conference, the people of northern Guizhou cooperated with the Red Army to defeat the enemy in despair and dizziness, and crushed the fifth anniversary of the Kuomintang. The first counter-encirclement and suppression campaign made a significant contribution to the victory of the Chinese revolution.

The Loushan Pine is a historical witness of the people of northern Guizhou cooperating with the Red Army to conquer Loushanguan, seize Zunyi City, and rush to cross the Wujiang River. "The great pass and the long road are really like iron, but now we are crossing them all over again" just shows the spirit of our people in northern Guizhou who are not afraid of difficulties and move forward courageously.

The Chen Sheng and Wu Guang uprisings that overthrew the Qin Dynasty a thousand years ago, and the deeds of countless warriors who fought bloody battles in the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression and the War of Liberation a thousand years later, all testify to the Chinese nation's unyielding determination to defy oppression and resist bullying. Lou Shansong, I understand you! Lou Shansong, you are the real soul of northern Guizhou!

Featured summary

Scoring points: beautiful title, beautiful conception, beautiful structure, beautiful artistic conception, beautiful language, vertical and horizontal pen and ink, dripping and grand.

Expert analysis: This is a lyrical prose with horizontal and vertical strokes of writing and ink, full marks. The author starts from the Loushan pine, sees the big from the small, alternates the virtual and the real, and constructs the similarities between the Loushan pine and the "soul of northern Guizhou". The specific features can be summarized as follows: 1. Beautiful title. Loushan Pine has a special location, located in Zunyi, a famous city in northern Guizhou. It has special significance and is similar to the spiritual quality of the people in northern Guizhou. 2. Beautiful conception. Containing feelings in things and expressing emotions in the things. I used the Loushan pine to praise the people of northern Guizhou, and then extended it to praise the Chinese nation. 3. Beautiful structure. The rhetorical parallel paragraph is clear in level, full of momentum, and full of literary talent. 4. Beautiful artistic conception. The description of Loushan pines is clear and strong, poetic and picturesque, rich in meaning, subtle and ethereal. 5. Beautiful language. The whole sentence is full of interlaced prose and parallel quotations, which is hearty and full of interest.

Full score example 4

I understand Frank

One candidate from Zunyi City

The edge of a sword comes from sharpening, and the fragrance of plum blossoms comes from the bitter cold Come. ——Inscriptions

Since I entered the ninth grade, my homework has become more and more demanding day by day, and I cannot get rid of the "sea of ??questions". I got up at 6 a.m. and went to bed at 22 a.m. every day. I had to cancel the reading I was passionate about, but my grades did not improve, and I even failed in many exams. I was so tired and sad that I began to complain about the misfortunes in life: "Why are there no results from hard work? Why are there no results from hard work? Why why why..."

During that time, I just sighed like this ,frown. Finally one day, the parents couldn't bear it anymore - why did our lovely daughter become so frustrated, complaining and sighing?

Then, the bad luck will end - a stack of literary masterpieces inspired My interest. Looking at the long-lost novels and poems, I thought: Well, let’s just read them, but I can’t continue to learn them anyway.

So I opened the classics, and historical celebrities entered my world one by one. No? I saw Su Shi, who was drinking wine in the wind, walking towards me gracefully.

Just like this: Living in exile in the Yellow City, holding wine in the wind, holding Huang Qingcang and sighing at the hero. In the past, the Bianhe River was a beautiful place, but it was difficult to carry heavy shoes. Success or failure is left to the West and the East, this hatred is endless. I have been living in mist and rain all my life, and I have been flying in the snow.

Su Shi was as passionate as me. However, despite the twists and turns of love and the hardships of his official career, he always stuck to his beliefs. He faced all gains and losses calmly. He was demoted to Hangzhou, but he was content with himself - green bamboo sticks, green mango shoes, and only the clear waves of autumn water in his eyes. Don't you complain? Are you willing to be demoted? Don’t you want to achieve great things?

"No, I have learned to be calm, not to be happy with things, not to be sad with myself." Su Shi replied with a smile.

I was thoughtful - maybe I should gain some peace in the face of these failures, right?

At this time, the singer riding a donkey in the yellow sand sky was waving to me, and I knew it was Li Bai.

Li Bai, like me, was full of hope for the future, but his officialdom was frustrated. Those in power wanted him to praise the government and the king, but he was better off. What he wanted was the magnanimity of "being able to bend his eyebrows and bend his waist to serve the powerful"! Accepting the frustration calmly, he sang all the way, "I am born with talents that will be useful, and I will come back again after all the money I have spent!" Wearing a green gauze, with flowing hair on top of her head, her eyes are open-minded. Don't you complain? Don’t you want to achieve great things?

"No, I learned to be calm. The wine entered my chest, seven points turned into the moon, three points roared into sword energy, looking back at Chang'an, I stood in it!"

< p>I finally understood that it turned out that they also had the same heroic passion, but they calmly faced the failures and slanders in front of them... What about me?

Stop blaming others! I said to myself, I am only fifteen years old, I will also face the setbacks in front of me calmly, and I will reap the beauty of calmness like them!

Closing the classic book, I raised my head confidently.

Featured summary

Scoring points: beautiful meaning, beautiful layout, beautiful style, vertical and horizontal writing, full of interest, and high literary quality.

Expert analysis: This is a lyrical prose with rich writing and full of interest, full marks. The author is connected with the reality of life, and his writing is as smooth as flowing clouds. He speaks in a relaxed and eloquent way. The progress of his thoughts is clearly visible, and his emotional catharsis is intimate and perceptible. He is energetic and confident and optimistic. He is favored by the marking teachers. Its writing characteristics are summarized as follows: 1. Beautiful meaning: the inscription increases the literary grace of the writing and enriches the connotation of the writing. Moreover, the author selected the stories of Su Shi and Li Bai, great literati who were talented but had a bumpy career, from a vast range of literary and historical materials, which are full of interest and add color to the article. 2. Beautiful layout: The author sticks closely to the topic and integrates celebrity stories, famous sayings and good quotes, making it sound like homely talk and pleasant to the ear; the writing is boldly imaginative, reverses time and space, and is completed in one go, with extraordinary momentum; the ending is subtle and meaningful, the finishing touch. 3. Beautiful style: The author casts a variety of expressions to stimulate ripples of emotions in the reader's soul.

Dialogue with the ancients and expressing heartfelt praise for Su Wu and Li Bai demonstrated his profound literary accomplishment and simple language style.

Narrative essay for full marks in the high school entrance examination: junior high school life

In the life of junior high school, there is happiness, distress, confusion, and sadness. Too many emotions are harmonious together, and the short junior high school life has become simple yet complicated, annoying and memorable.

Going to junior high school means that I have grown up, and I am no longer the "little princess" or "little master" that people love and protect. It means that I have my own ideas and Freedom is no longer a person who only listens to his parents and has no independent opinions. Although I have freedom, my life is out of control; although I have grown up, there are some things that cannot be accomplished alone.

In the past, if there were any difficulties in school, sometimes the teacher could help, and it would be natural and easy. Studying is not very urgent. Even if I can't control myself, at least I have a strict father and mother around me. At home, I was pampered and protected. I couldn't decide what to pay attention to, and my parents were by my side. Live your life in an orderly and well-organized way.

But when I entered junior high school, everything naturally changed. It's like entering a strange world. Solve small things in school by yourself. School is also very stressful, and there is a lot of homework. When you can't control yourself, your father and mother don't care much. Because they feel that they need to learn to be self-conscious when they go to junior high school. At home, she is no longer the "little princess" who was pampered and protected before. You have to pay attention to everything by yourself, because they say that when you grow up, you have to have your own opinion. In this way, junior high school life was spent in chaos. Every day life has no order.

In junior high school life, when encountering distressing and sad things, I always shed tears by myself. In front of classmates, he always smiles and pretends to be strong.

In fact, laughter just hides my sad side. Now I understand the meaning of "tears in laughter". Because I no longer have the broad shoulders of my parents before. When you are in pain, that shoulder is like a warm stove, like a wandering child who has found a home. But now, I have no destination. I only cry when I am sad, and I have no shoulders to lean on. Because the person leaning on my shoulder is me in the past.

Everyone said that life in junior high school was free and easy. In the past, I naturally looked forward to the day when I could grow up quickly and enjoy the life of junior high school. I would not know until I got it. It turns out that the price of freedom is sadness. This price is too high and too painful. I can't reflect for a while.