I've been married for many years. How can I enhance the relationship between husband and wife?

an old couple has been married for many years. How can we enhance the relationship between husband and wife?

1. Have a small date once in a while.

Before writing this article, I made some small surveys and deliberately asked my boyfriends and male friends around me. I didn't expect that the answers of these male friends were very similar. He said:

"If two people are not enthusiastic together, they will create enthusiasm. For example, having a candlelight dinner, watching movies and giving small gifts to each other not only makes your woman happy, but also most men like it. "

yes. These seemingly simple little methods are not only the same for women, but also for men.

Because the occasional small date can not only relax each other, but actually how to make an agreement is not the most important thing. The most important thing is the lonely space where two people can be together. This space only belongs to each other. At this time, the elders and children

Therefore, after marriage, especially with the extension of marriage time, the old couple should not be romantic, and the older they get, the more romantic they become.

Romance like this doesn't need a lot of money, but it's more important to have such a sense of ceremony, feel for each other and love each other than anything else.

At this point, let the old lady have more feelings

Second, let's take a walk and have a look.

Let's take a walk. We can travel around on weekends or together.

Let me explain here first: As mentioned above, there is an occasional small date, such as once a month, and the key point is to have private space for two people. Apart from the space for two people, it is important to travel on foot together without trivial matters.

the biggest advantage of traveling is that we don't discuss family chores and work for the time being. Negotiate where to go to play together, just look at the beautiful scenery, you can first have a small contradiction in work and life and enjoy a beautiful trip.

Of course, if possible, you can take the children and the elderly twice every three trips. Among them, it is best for husband and wife to go once.

Some people may not understand this behavior. Don't you think it's the same to take care of children on the same trip? Honestly, of course not. With children, couples will focus on the children, so sometimes they will quarrel over the children.

"You're right. We used to take care of the children every time we went out to play, in fact, my husband also told me. Occasionally we can have no children. Children can take you to see your grandparents, or take you to grandma's house for a holiday. However, I will be very worried if the children bring them to the elderly. Besides, we will go by ourselves, and it will be very guilty not to let the children go, but yes. Sometimes my husband is not very happy. Last time I heard you say, it happened to be summer vacation, didn't it? I sent the child to my mother's house. Children can actually play with cousins. My husband and I went to Lijiang. " . "It was a little uncomfortable at first, but after going there, it was uncomfortable for two people to walk or go to a coffee shop or bar! It feels so good! Especially in this trip, I am really happy to feel my husband's care and care, holding my luggage and holding my hand. It seems that we have to play together sometimes in the future. Not only can it increase feelings, but it can also restore enthusiasm at that time. " . At this point, let the old woman have more feelings

Many married couples usually take the old man and children when they travel if they have children. Sure, but if two people don't live all their lives for work, they will spend a lot of time running around like two machines. Of course, they can't experience the fun of life and warm their feelings.

So, if you can make a regular trip for two people a year, you can just take a short trip.

treat each other as good friends.

It's often said with friends to treat each other as good friends, but some people don't understand.

we are still explaining xiaoxue. When I told Xiaoxue, when you wanted to learn to make friends with your husband and me, she told me:

"A husband is a husband. How can we be good friends? When two people meet every day, it's not that I care about you, but that you talk about me, sometimes I'm not used to it. "

I said,

"You say that because two people meet every day. You are not in charge of me, but because I am talking about you. Besides, I'm not used to it. That's because two people are too close, have no sense of boundary, have no sense of boundary and have too much management, and feel that they are right and the other is wrong. In this case, I feel that I have the right to manage each other, and even the right to blame each other. However, if someone manages or blames, no matter whether they are right or wrong, they will have some feelings, and two people will be contradictory or conflicting. " .

Between people, we hope that someone can understand us, understand us and hear our voices, but the husband and wife are too close physically and psychologically to listen and understand patiently, which is even more difficult to tolerate.

If you can treat each other as friends and close friends properly in your mind, the relationship between two people will become easier.

For example, we listen to our friends patiently and don't criticize and evaluate each other at will. In our hearts, I know that he is my friend and he is an independent individual, so I must respect each other.

speaking of which, you must know something, but in fact, it is important for friends to listen, understand and respect.

There is a classic saying that listening is love and understanding is therapeutic.

This sentence means that it is really difficult to find people who listen to us patiently in the world, and people who can listen to our voices are actually very difficult. If such a person can meet our psychological needs, in fact, we can think that he (she) has paid for me and loved me.

as long as the other person listens and understands our words and my heart is understood by him, I will not be so lonely. If I am not lonely, I will feel that I am a valuable person.

a valuable person will feel that he has lived a meaningful life. At this point, let the old woman have more feelings

A study conducted by American marriage expert John gotman:

Is cheating the root cause of divorce?

wrong!

in many cases he studied, the affair is not the root cause of divorce, but the problems in marriage put both husband and wife on the track of divorce, forcing one (or both) to seek intimacy outside marriage.

most marriage therapists who record extramarital affairs find that these trysts have nothing to do with the usual, but are "things" that should be provided for marriage in search of friendship, support, understanding, respect, attention and care.

it's not easy to do this. Therefore, if the other person is properly regarded as a good friend, the other person can speak freely in front of himself or be himself. These are all important psychological needs in feelings. If we can meet these needs, we can naturally enhance our feelings.