My dear Pinocchio

My name is Xiao Yang. At the age of seventeen, the bread god finally realized my wish. I have a good friend. Her name is Feifei. She likes to make up stories, like Pinocchio in fairy tales.

"I was born at night. She was looking out of the window when the nurse held me to her. A bird landed there and pecked a small piece of flowers and plants on the table. She smiled gently and said,' Just call it Feifei, the flight of birds.' "

"You lied to me again, so small, you haven't learned to open your eyes yet."

Just after sunset, Feifei's side face in the afterglow is like a letter soaked by rain, which is not true enough.

"I am early and wise, and I have a good memory."

Feifei turned around and approached me face to face, and stopped talking.

I still don't believe it. But Feifei's eyes are getting more and more sincere. I think it's possible. Her grades have always been good.

"Don't be so serious, Xiao Yang. Happy birthday, I didn't know it before, so we are on the same day. "

Feifei suddenly laughed out loud, and her facial features were covered with a layer of unrestrained beauty, naive and beautiful, which made people laugh.

"You are happy. Let's go, there will be no food in the canteen for a while. "

Every day at this time, we will come to the rooftop, waiting for the people who have finished eating to feed.

Feifei is always like this, freely making up big and small stories, wrapping her thoughts that she doesn't want to be known. Whenever this happens, I will turn away like a tennis ball that is accidentally derailed, alleviating the embarrassment and loss of the server and creating a happy atmosphere. So I changed the subject and stopped asking.

Everyone should have their own secrets. Every secret will become a silver thread, which will entangle us with the world, prevent us from floating and eventually drift away from the earth. Although outer space is beautiful, it will mercilessly devour life.

I've always wondered how we became friends.

Feifei is a transfer student. She came as soon as she changed cities, and her grades were good. And very beautiful, it is the kind of publicity that can be recognized at a glance in the crowd. All beautiful words can describe her.

And my seventeen years old, two words in bold: ordinary. Uncontrollable uninvited rolling, huge black-rimmed glasses, ill-fitting school uniforms. Label withdrawal, sensitive, boring. So sometimes I envy Feifei and her blooming. In particular, I wrote a love letter to the boy I have secretly loved for a long time-A Nan. But Feifei said that she was still in love and retired. I don't even need to be sad.

On the day of Feifei's transfer, she just got the results of the model test, and the seats needed to be disrupted and reorganized. The head teacher has been teaching for a long time and has rich experience. We were her last class. Therefore, our class arranges seats, not necessarily according to grades and rankings. There are many people in the corridor, and students from several classes on the same floor are all there. Eyes are wobbly blue and white, the color of our school uniform. It seems that everyone is talking with his mouth open and can't hear any complete and effective information.

I stood at the end of the queue with my schoolbag in my arms, listening to English with half headphones on, staring out the window in a daze. When I counted the twenty-third leaf, Feifei appeared in my sight, covering the huge buttonwood tree.

Later Feifei talked about the first time we met.

"I feel like we know each other." In fact, what she said is probably that I read deja vu in your eyes.

"My lenses are too thick. You are mistaken. It's unbelievable. " She didn't have time to introduce herself that day, so the moment I saw Feifei, I was wondering why someone went to the wrong class in senior three.

"Your eyes are beautiful and should not be covered. After the college entrance examination, wear a pair of contact lenses. "

I am very happy. For the first time, someone associated me with the word "good-looking"

We are deskmates, then roommates and then friends. Seems to be taken for granted.

If I have to determine the beginning of this friendship: on Christmas Eve, we went to the roof for the first time. In winter, the days are short, it is already dark, and the cold wind attacks people. We sat by the fence and shared an apple.

Feifei took a bite of a brand-new apple and handed it to me, vaguely saying:

"Xiao Yang, you believe everything. Why don't you believe those rumors about me at school? " Such as a statement and a question.

"Because I am withdrawn, the rumors can't reach me at all, and I stop halfway."

"You are not withdrawn, you just like to think about things alone."

"I am too sensitive, like a hedgehog."

"Then you can discover secrets that others don't know, and the world will love you for it."

"Love", a word that doesn't often appear in conversations.

"Then I'm boring?"

"I only like talking to you."

"Feifei, that's very kind of you."

"You're all right, you'll be fine."

I don't remember. I should respond to her serious tone with an ambiguous smile. Along Feifei's gap, a small depression was left, forming an irregular number "8". That apple was very sweet, and Feifei smiled happily that night. Unfortunately, there are no lights on the rooftop. It's dark and I can't see clearly.

This is our first year. Feifei appeared in my youth, letting the bitter fruit absorb the sunshine, so the fragrance of My Sweetie gradually spread in the air. Because of her, I began to believe that I could be less ordinary at our best age.

At the age of eighteen, I ended my confused unrequited love. In order to apply to the same university as Feifei, she was planted at a desk and often studied by herself until she was about to close the bed. Feifei sits next to me, writing questions or reading books. The evening breeze carries a faint fragrance of flowers, and the classroom is very quiet, except for the rustling of the pen tip across the paper.

Summer is coming.

After the college entrance examination, Feifei and I went to the mountain city first.

"Xiao Yang, wait a minute, don't move, just let the light fall."

"There are so many people."

"It's okay, it's okay, we don't get in the way. Pull your hair."

"What should I do?"

"Just look at the camera and laugh."

Feifei's graduation present is a second-hand camera. We took many photos with it. About us, about the scenery, about the people and animals living here: flowers and clouds, the light rail climbing to the ground, the painted and graffiti iron gate, a group of dull pigeons on the roof, the gray-haired grandmother and a lively dog she led ... We didn't make a raiders, followed the map everywhere, and the place we wanted to go might just be because the name was nice.

That idle summer vacation, I spent most of the days after that with Feifei. She didn't want to go to my house, saying she was uncomfortable. I see. On the day I visited, my parents were extremely enthusiastic about Feifei. After all, they always thought Feifei was my fantasy.

Feifei and grandma live in an old neighborhood. Every household's wooden panes are painted red, and there are many trees, but they don't bloom. Most of the residents are old people and a group of stray cats who are taken care of.

"Look, Feifei, there is Xiaobai today."

"The sixth one is called 66."

"It's so small and clean, and its eyes are like a brown glass bead."

"Don't grab the orange, it's yours."

During the day, we will stay in Feifei's room, watch movies and put together puzzles. We eat an iced watermelon almost every day. When the sun goes down, we go out. Feifei prefers to take the path and go to the brightly lit downtown. The most ridiculous time she took me to a bar to listen to a band performance. Maybe rock music. I had tinnitus for a while. Feifei shouted herself hoarse that night and waited for several days.

When it is windy, we fly kites in the suburbs. Feifei's grandmother sat on the hillside, looking at our clumsy thread on the lawn from a distance.

This is my happiest time. I don't have to grow up, I don't have troubles, and I can't live without Feifei. Later, I raised a white cat that looked like Liu Liu and named it "Summer".

On the day of volunteering, I copied Feifei's school name and chose the major my parents wanted me to study.

We stayed in this city and in the same school. But different majors, different dormitories, no longer deskmate. Surprisingly, we are still very close. Besides attending classes and going home to see grandma, Feifei also found a part-time job in a coffee shop in the university town. After closing at nine o'clock, it became our secret base.

"My dream is to leave this place and see the outside world, although it sounds tacky." Feifei said, and continued to clean the glass in her hand.

I am a little sad that Feifei is leaving my life. And I suddenly realized that I had no dreams, no hobbies and nothing to do.

"Then I'll send you a wind chime and tie it with an amulet."

"I don't want peace, how boring." She hates such good wishes. She seems to prefer the rough and rocky sea. Not Guangming Avenue.

On the afternoon of our birthday, we made an appointment to meet in the small restaurant we often go to. Feifei didn't come as a result. Her cell phone is turned off. Her roommate said there was no class today and Feifei went out at noon. The coffee shop owner said that she asked for leave early and didn't go to a part-time job. I ran to her house and knocked on the door for a long time, but no one answered.

The school is closed, so I go home alone. Open the curtain, the moonlight shines, the empty photo frame on the wall is covered with dust, and the air is tiny floating dust. With the arrival of high school graduation, not only the admission notice, but also the divorce agreement that parents have already signed. There is no trace of life at home. In the dark, all emotions unrelated to happiness, like revenge for my forgetting, came from all directions, wrapped in biting coolness, and I began to fall.

Sleeping on the sofa in a daze, the phone vibrates. Feifei.

"Little Central ... Are you listening?"

A vague sound of current is Feifei's breathing, which is very wet. It was a long time before she spoke, and the mobile phone screen actually showed only ten seconds. But a blank of ten seconds is too long for a phone call.

"Yes, are you at home?" I know Feifei is not at home. I'm afraid Feifei will tell me that she has decided to leave, or is already on her way, so it's too late to say goodbye to me.

"I am in the hospital, and my grandmother fainted ... My mobile phone has just been charged, sorry."

"Never mind, I'll come to you."

Her voice is intermittent, just like a fish spitting bubbles in the deep sea. When my cell phone was burning in my ears, I turned on the speaker, put it on my knee, and nervously poked at the hole cut by the bushes in my skirt. I suddenly found that my shallow dialogue skills made me unable to even convey comfort.

This is our second year. I thought Feifei had lost contact, but she didn't, but something worse happened. Fate is no longer soft, it has become a strict elder, telling us that it is time to start, move forward and never look back. So we stumbled and ran to our own torrent.

On my nineteenth birthday, I changed into the skirt I bought with Feifei, took off my frame and put on my contact lenses, let my straightened hair hang over my shoulders at will, and pinned it behind my ears with a hairpin. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought that maybe my 19-year-old would be different from my 18-year-old and 17-year-old.

Then from four o'clock in the afternoon, find a girl named Feifei. After I was seventeen, I seldom did anything alone. I broke the wind chime, knocked over the cake box, tore my skirt and got lost in the familiar street.

Finally, at 0: 00, Feifei and I sat in the stone chair downstairs in the inpatient department and listened to Feifei telling a story about her birthday that was covered up by laughter on the rooftop.

"My name is Feifei from birth. Later, I ran with the children in the community. I fell down before I reached the finish line. Listening to my neighbor's aunt, I feel like I was strangled, and I can't breathe. Sent to the hospital, the doctor said it was asthma. " She took a bite of the rice ball, chewed it casually and swallowed it.

"Grandma is superstitious and soon changed her name. Grandma said that since my mother asked me to be Feifei, I should leave a message and change it to Feifei, which is quieter. It is also an idea, I am afraid I will not find it in the future. "

Feifei dug out a small box from her pocket and handed it to me. This is a birthday present for me. She knitted her own bracelet, and several kinds of blue ropes were intertwined with an orange beaded pendant. Unfortunately, she miscalculated the size and added a bar. I tied it to my ankle after Feifei left.

Grandma didn't have any sudden illness. Old age, physical decline, did not survive that winter. Feifei dropped out of school soon and decided to leave. It started long ago. If you go back.

I accompanied Feifei to see the band's performance again. I don't like the feeling that my heart will tear my chest and explode into a pool of blood. I always leave early and wait for her nearby. When I passed the main entrance of the bar, I found a new poster posted there. On kraft paper, a couple are kissing, and their side faces are in the mirror. The blue handwriting says "My Blueberry Night". I sat at McDonald's watching movies, smoking iced coke and thinking about blueberry pie.

After the performance, I went to the alley and saw Feifei talking to a boy, vaguely recognizing that it was the lead singer of the band. Street lamps are dim, disrepair, dim and flickering. Feifei leaned against the door frame, her face completely hidden in the darkness, and the evening breeze reminded her of her skirt, revealing her snow-white ankles and some holes.

A few people who were not very sober passed by, smelling of alcohol, and reading aloud what they didn't know who to say while walking. Feifei looked over and saw me.

We went to a coffee shop that was still open. There is no blueberry pie in the shop, only cream cakes that nobody cares about.

"Xiao Yang, do you think I have no feelings?"

"The boy you were talking to just now?"

"well. Forget it. Romance is not for me. I am more suitable for traveling around the world. "

Sounds like a joke. I suddenly remembered the monologue in the movie. I don't think Feifei and I can eat blueberry pie together anymore, and I don't know how to say goodbye.

On the day Feifei was sent to the station, there was no downpour to foil the sad atmosphere. It can't be an ordinary day, sunny, cloudless and breezy in Wan Li.

"Take the ticket. Don't worry about me. I'll send you a postcard, literature and art. "

The radio informed her that the train began to check in, and it was loud, mixed with the crackling of current. The train didn't stop as far away as I hoped. It arrived on time and took the passengers away.

Feifei was out of sight. I got out of the station and rode home. I didn't say goodbye, as if she just went to the supermarket on the corner to buy watermelons and would be back before dinner. Sunlight shone through the cracks in the leaves, forming a luminous ring on the ground, and the key in the pocket slammed. Feifei said that they are all empty houses anyway, so you can go to see the scenery and feed the cats when you pass by.

After Feifei left, I always felt more and more like her. It seems long enough to commemorate this unexpected friendship in this way. And Feifei loves to make up stories, and I have learned it.

Goodbye, Nan, class reunion. Most of the students in the class are here. He said that I had changed a lot and asked Feifei how she was doing. I said I was fine, but I was busy. In fact, I don't know where Feifei is and what she is doing at the moment. I subconsciously feel that such an occasion needs such a reply. Lies are often more beautiful.

I left the party early, although I was free to join the conversation. But I seem to be back in the classroom of 17 years old. I sat at my desk and just wanted to stare out of the window. When I got home, I received a phone call from Nan, whose tone was obviously a little drunk. He talked about the school rumors about Feifei Li, an alcoholic father and a depressed mother. I interrupted him and said bluntly, I don't know.

This is our third year. Feifei is no longer in my life, but her shadow is everywhere. I think friendship is friendship because it can't act as affection or love.

My name is Xiaoyang, and I am about to celebrate my 23rd birthday. It means Feifei will be 23 years old.

Within a few years, I received many postcards from different places. The content is very short, and I don't mention anything about my life. I just introduce the local customs like a travel magazine.

She seems to think that I will stay at home. On second thought, it feels good. Only in this way can Feifei determine the address of the recipient.

Every weekend I go to Feifei's house and sit in her room in a daze. I like the scenery outside her window. A lush tree grows up along the floor. Even in winter, all the leaves will not fall, covering the family affairs of the opposite household.

On the morning of midsummer, I received a postcard from Feifei, from Chiang Mai. She said that the pace of life here is slow, people are friendly, and fruits are rich and cheap. She said I would like it here.

The chain was broken the day the postcard was retrieved. In the summer shower, I was trapped on my way home, sheltered from the rain in front of the closed shop, and looked at the furnishings in the shop from the window. Suddenly I heard a clear tick. Obviously, it was almost the same as the rain, or even smaller, but I subconsciously looked at my ankle. Beads rolled down the slope. I broke into the rain curtain and was soaked to the skin.

I have a hunch that Feifei will come back.

So a few days later, we faced each other and ate strawberry ice at the same table.

The small restaurant with good business closed, the boss's children went to study in other places, and their family moved. The shop was rented to a young couple who just graduated and turned into an ice room. The signboard is light pink, with the name printed on the lower right corner, like a child's handwriting, gentle and sweet, and the decoration style is bright and dreamy.

The air conditioner in the shop is fully turned on, and the electric fan is spinning overhead. Feifei pointed to a caring scar on her knee and said it was poked by durian. I stared at her with a grain of salt.

"Don't be so serious, Xiao Yang." Still smiling brightly and naively, she bowed her head and scooped up the foam strawberry puree with a spoon.

"Why didn't you leave me at the station that day?" Feifei asked me.

In fact, I have thought about many possible answers to this question.

We were born on the same day in the same year. Obviously Feifei is a child at night and I am a child in the morning. However, she belongs to the sun, burning warmly, and I belong to the stars, which can only be lit warmly.

So I think there are some things that need to be done by one person. She wants to untie the wings that fall into the trap of hunters, and then return home in triumph on a golden morning. I want to shed my sensitive and fragile shell, take root and sprout, blossom and bear fruit, even in the stormy night.

But it was my secret, so I changed the subject.

"How are you?"

"Now?"

"hmm."

"It couldn't be better. What about you? "

"It couldn't be better."

We smiled at each other.

A belated birthday present for Feifei. A wind chime, wearing a protective amulet, printed with: fly or fly, I wish you a safe return after flying away.

"You can hang it by the window, and it will jingle when the wind blows."

This is our seventh year. Pi Nuo has become a real child, naive, brave and sincere.