Memories of living in a small house

? However, to be honest, when you are eighteen years old and your body is growing, you eat a lot. However, at Xianggu's house, they only steamed some rice that covered the bottom of the pot at noon. At night, it was so thin that people could be seen in the light. I was eating noodles, and some frosted vegetables were randomly thrown into the pot. I couldn't get enough. It turns out that I don’t like to eat onions, garlic, chrysanthemums, and coriander at home. I never thought that they would be so delicious when stir-fried and served with noodles. I just happily ate a big bowl of them, and I couldn’t wait to have another three. It's a big bowl, but there is only soup left in Xianggu's pot. So I used the excuse that the soup tasted good, drank two large bowls of it, and then licked my lips and said happily that the noodles made by Xianggu were so delicious. Xianggu also said happily that the newly grown chrysanthemums were very fresh and tender when paired with coriander. If you like it, I'll go to your uncle's garden tomorrow to pull some out. This will be enough for you. I burped and walked out. Dandan was seven years old and Yangyang was five years old at the time. The two little followers kept calling their elder sister and their younger sister, and they would follow me from my room to theirs without stopping for a moment. When they were asked to go to bed by Xianggu, my stomach began to sing Empty City Plot over and over again, so I painfully searched everywhere for something to satisfy my hunger. I took out a half-cooled steamed bun that I had not finished breakfast. I have hidden them under the blanket near the wall since noon. Take a bite and the scum will fall off. I have to be careful so as not to be discovered by Xianggu when she is cleaning. I also licked up the residue that fell on the bed. During the long night, listening to the whimpering of the old Beifeng outside who kept trying to kill him, and holding back the heat in his stomach while singing about the empty city plan, it was an uncomfortable feeling. Later, I gradually excused myself from the teacher in the department to work overtime and deliberately stayed outside. Under the dim street light, I ate two big white and fat steamed buns and a bowl of steaming wontons. I was full for the first time. , I slept extremely soundly that night, and I could no longer hear the sadistic voice of Old Beifeng, and I no longer had the dream of being hungry and looking for something to eat.

Xianggu pretended to be unhappy with a straight face and said, "You are always away from home for meals. You see, I made you a meal. If you didn't come back, there would be a lot of rice left there." A big bowl of the chrysanthemum noodles you like to eat at night. I eat leftovers every day. I quickly said, "Xianggu, I'm sorry. The teacher has temporarily arranged some work for me, and I can't leave until I finish it." I don’t have a cell phone to notify you. Do you think this is okay? I will eat out from now on and just rest here at night to save you from worrying. How about that? I promised my brother to take good care of you, so wouldn’t this become like a hotel? Your father gave me food rations. Xianggu frowned and held her stomach. She herself has gastric neurosis and can't stand being hungry or angry. I hurriedly said, "Xianggu, you don't have to worry too much. I'm going to transfer to internal medicine soon, and I will definitely get busier and busier. You don't have to worry about me." From now on, I will tell you before I go out whether I will come back for dinner, so that you don't have to cook too much and have leftovers. She reluctantly agreed.

? In my memory, Xianggu’s house has a purple-red door, a row of houses with red tiles and blue bricks, and a rectangular matchbox-like yard. There are not a single tree in it, just in front of it. A frail weed sprouted out from under the stone steps that served as a wall in someone else's house. Now it has turned into a withered and yellow look, shivering in the cold wind. It's very pitiful.

I hid it from Xiang Gu. Sometimes I would wander on the street alone after getting off work early. I met someone selling fresh meat pies, so I bought one and ate it with big mouthfuls. In the evening, Ye Zi seemed to be a greedy child, walking home in a hurry. As for me, I have no home. A white viaduct spans the quietly flowing river. There are endless traffic, horns honking randomly, and people walking on the sidewalk beside the bridge with their heads buried. They all have a home waiting for them. They went back with heavy keys in their pockets. When they got home and inserted them into the keyhole, the door opened. They were greeted by friendly faces and smiling faces, and steaming meals were waiting quietly for them. But I, a girl living under someone else's roof, had nothing. The county is so big that there is no place for me. When will I be able to have a home of my own in the city? It doesn't need to be big or gorgeous. Maybe it's enough to just put a bed that can accommodate my tired and sleepy body.

? Not long after, good news came from the hospital. A trainee nurse ran out to rent a house and a bed was available, so I moved into the empty space between the hospital cafeteria and the inpatient department. In a room at the back of a row of dilapidated sloping houses that I stubbornly held on to, my bed was next to the door. There also lived a girl in her twenties who was studying for examinations called Ali. She was a forty-year-old woman dressed plainly and wearing a pair of glasses. It is said that she was Ali's cousin-in-law. Her name was Qiong, and her husband was a certain person. The director of a rural hospital.

? Obviously my arrival made Ali unhappy. She saw me as cold as ice. She told everyone she met that I moved in by myself. If the medical department checked, she would say I had no formalities. She ignored me and I ignored her. One time I ran out to use the bathroom and forgot to bring my key. When I came back, I knocked on the door desperately. I knew there was someone inside, but they refused to open the door for me. It took a long time before someone kicked open the door with his shoes. It's Joan who lives in the upper bunk. She said sleepily, remember to bring the key next time. Ali slept with her head covered.

I clearly heard her stopping her cousin-in-law from opening the door over and over again. She said I deserved it.

? Slowly I had some interactions with Qiong, but it was always behind Ali’s back. Qiong said that Ali has a bad temper and should not argue with her. She is almost thirty and has not yet become friends. Unlike her, she is as old as Ali and has two children. The eldest is now twelve years old and the younger is seven. At this point, her voice dropped, like a cooling flame, and her eye circles turned slightly red. I know she misses her children and home. Qiong mentioned that her husband, the hospital director, was an excellent man who managed a hospital with more than 100 people by himself. Ali was also planning to return to the hospital to work. She used to be a substitute teacher. After getting married to her husband, she stayed at home to take care of her children and the elderly. My husband is becoming more and more homeless. I heard that he is having an affair with a gynecologist, an old girl who is not a little girl. Qiong was startled. She cried and wanted to come to the hospital to train as a nurse. She has to go to work and can no longer be a housewife. She left her home and came here to start over, but she had not written or read for many years, and she was really unable to do what she wanted. Ali kept pouring cold water on her, saying that she couldn't learn how to draw the three test sheets, so she didn't have to work so hard. She had to take care of the children and the elderly at home, so couldn't she be a good wife and mother? Qiong rolled her eyes at her and said, I can no longer live as haphazardly as before. I want to have a new life, and I want your brother to think highly of me. I can do what others can do. Under the dim light, I clearly saw a contemptuous smile hanging on the corner of Ali's mouth.

? Ali once mentioned that the girl who was friends with the dean’s brother was studying in the obstetrics department. She was pretty and she was said to be as good as a teacher in performing surgeries. On the 25th of every month, the hospital's accountant rushed over to deliver her salary, which was said to be a thick stack. In the evening, there was also a candlelight dinner from the director's brother. The cousin-in-law had nothing, and her living expenses came from selling the pigs that had been raised at home for a year. She is very frugal and never willing to buy a bowl of braised pork. This is like people having different fates. Ali said sinisterly from her nostrils.

Joan moved out a month later. She was going back to take care of her children and her home. The unfaithful man had a showdown with her and wanted a divorce. He could stop being the dean and leave the house, but he must marry the woman his cousin-in-law said he wanted. In order to avoid the limelight, that woman did not dare to go back to work. She studied gynecology, obstetrics, surgery, and internal medicine. She was almost thirty and could not afford to wait any longer. Joan finally divorced the dean. After the commotion, the dean resigned and took his sweetheart out to work. Now the two of them run a clinic with a prosperous business and earn a lot of money. As for Joan, she was nowhere to be found. This is what Ali told me. She went back to work in the hospital. She also moved away. I was left alone in a dark and dark dormitory.

There was a cleaning lady named Ying who lived across the door. She had a loud voice. Every morning, she could be heard yelling at her boyfriend at the time, Quan. Her voice was rough and unpleasant. All were silent. As usual, he got up before dawn, lit a fire in the coal stove to cook, and went out to buy steamed buns. Ying still scolded him invariably, scolding him for making a room full of soot, and scolding him for the steamed buns he bought being too cold. Finally, I didn't hear Ying's curse for a while. I heard that she threw away everything that was useless and smashed everything in the house. Later I heard that she had hired someone to recruit a job, and she would soon become an upright nurse, and she was not worthy of her at all. She also moved out soon, and I heard that the row of temporary dormitories we lived in was going to be demolished soon. Moreover, this house is no longer safe. Someone knocks on the window every now and then at night.

? One midnight, Ali was on night shift and I was living alone in the dormitory. The foot of the bed I lived in faced the door, and the door was locked. My pillow faced a window that faced an empty street, and a piece of glass was smashed. How it broke, Ali didn't know. I got a thick paper box to block it. I pasted three more layers of white paper on the inside.

? Drowsily, I was awakened by a strange rustling sound. Someone was smoking the thick paper shell that acted as glass bit by bit. My heart jumped into my throat. I shouted with a trembling voice, "Who is it? Who is there?" I called someone. Get out now. No one spoke. I stumbled out of bed and turned on the lamp. I felt a cold wind rushing into the house, and there was also a faint smell of smoke. I know the paper shell has been removed. And there was a hand that was clasping the white paper I was pasting. I didn't care anymore, so I quietly poured a basin of scalding hot water and poured it out towards the window. There was a sound of "Ouch", and then it became quiet. Deadly quiet. I don't dare to test the results. I turned off the light and tried to force myself to sleep. But I couldn't sleep. Time is so hard. One minute and one second. One minute and one second. Why does it take so long to get up? The next day I found that the cardboard box had been abandoned on the road facing the street, a lot of yellow cigarette butts were thrown under the window, and there was a big hole in the white paper I had used. I told Ali about this, and Ali smiled maliciously and said, I said this house is unsafe, but you are not afraid and have to move in. Report it to Section Chief Wang who is in charge of the dormitory. She said it must have been done by some pervert. Hold on, that row of houses is going to be demolished. You will move to the internship apartment on the ninth floor from now on. There's hot water there, it's clean, and there's a dormitory aunt who's fucking and eating, and so on, it'll be quick.

? The dormitory aunt wore a pair of glasses, had her hair cut close to her ears, and smiled, revealing a row of flawless white teeth.

Looks very friendly. But I was afraid of her. One night, Ali and I sneaked into the boiler room on the ninth floor to take a shower (there was no hot water in the dormitory below us). We didn’t dare to turn on the light. It was dark and the water was very hot. When Ali and I were enjoying our showers, we suddenly The dazzling white light shone directly, and a thunderous scolding sounded in my ears, who asked you to secretly take a bath here. So bold. Put on your clothes and leave early, or I'll wake you up and let the student department give you a demerit. I was so frightened that I hugged my trembling body tightly and begged, Sister, let’s get dressed and leave immediately. This won’t happen again. Ali also complained in a trembling voice. The aunt put out the flashlight and said angrily, "It's you outside interns who come to take a bath secretly every day, despite the disapproval of the world, and are repeatedly banned." You don’t know that the hospital complains about my poor management every day. The next time I am caught, I will report my name to the student department.

Before she caught us secretly taking a shower for the second time, Section Chief Wang of the Student Affairs Department had already arranged for me to live in the student apartment on the ninth floor. I can take a shower openly. I saw the dormitory manager's face blushing slightly, as if she had done something wrong. She must not have recognized me. She said with a smile, "Welcome, welcome," and then a man with two small brushes jumped out from behind her. The eight or nine-year-old girl with pigtails giggled and said in a worldly way, "You look very rich." I imitated the way she tilted her head and said, how could you tell. She said that you are different from others. The bedding on your bed is new and printed with bright red peonies. Moreover, you have a satin-like orange curtain hanging above your bed, which no one else can afford. Hahaha, it made me laugh, this little clever guy. Her mother smiled and rolled her eyes at her and said, stop talking nonsense, come here every day to hang out with these brothers and sisters, talk about anything big or small, don't be offended. I waved my hand and said, little girl, everyone loves you. This little girl took off her shoes and crawled onto my bed. Yes, I put the bedding on the bottom bunk. I was later proven wrong. I forgot that there were more than ten boys living on the same floor across from me.

? There are ten people living in the dormitory where I live. Most are practicing nursing students. There are only one or two doctors who have advanced training in obstetrics and gynecology. At noon in the summer, the door was ajar, and besides me there was an intern named Yanzi in the room. Others are either at work or out for a walk. We all slept soundly. We didn't dare lock the door because someone would come back to sleep in the middle. After locking the door, you still have to open the door for them, and you still have to be woken up.

? Half asleep and half awake, I felt someone touching the curtain hanging by my bed. I opened my eyes desperately, and suddenly I saw a sweaty face leaning down towards me. I subconsciously got up, opened my mouth and wanted to shout for help, but at that moment, I seemed to have suddenly lost my voice, not a single sound. He couldn't even utter a word, and it felt like someone was holding his throat, struggling to death. The man ran away. I got up and stumbled out. After chasing him for a while, he didn't know where he went. I walked back dejectedly. The dormitory manager was taking a lunch break and I didn't dare to yell. Yanzi who was sleeping in the same room also woke up and asked me what was going on. I said that a pervert just ran into the dormitory and I didn't catch him. She sighed and said that it was unsafe to sleep with the door open, so I moved to the upper bunk. And you still put up a curtain to create opportunities for bad guys to take advantage of.

? I angrily tore off the curtains and ripped off the quilt and sheets with a roar. These things looked disgusting to me. I asked for leave and went home. I cried and told my mother what had happened. My mother sighed heavily and said, "You were born in a peasant family and couldn't afford a house in the city. My child, you are wronged." The father was dejected and silent. I know he would really like to rent a house for me, but my family doesn't have the extra money to do such a luxurious thing.

? After staying at home for one night, I still had to go to the internship and continue to live in the student apartment on the ninth floor that I hated so much. I couldn't help but look at every boy I saw. I wanted to identify which one was the perpetrator of the evil that day and bring him to justice. But I really can't recognize such a disgusting face. The dormitory manager never mentioned such a thing to me again, maybe she didn't care at all. I moved to the upper bunk. Although I climbed up and down, I knew this was the best way to protect myself. I no longer hang the orange curtain. The clever daughter of the dormitory manager no longer runs to our dormitory. She is in elementary school and has a lot of homework every day.

A few months later, I ended my internship, packed my luggage and moved out to the student apartment on the ninth floor. The dormitory aunt didn't come out to see me off. Maybe she was used to seeing a new group of interns leave and reunite. She had long been used to it. This short one-year internship has made me taste the pain of not having a house to live in. I often think about when I can have a small house that can accommodate my ideals and my body. I often think about it, but finally I can’t. I know that I am just an ordinary rural girl, and the house in the city is just my dream.