Are there any funny jokes?

1. Classic hilarious anecdote. I remember the last time I took the train, I just found a seat, and it wasn't hot yet. A buddy came over and said, get out of the way. This seat is mine. I took the ticket and got up silently. At first, I said to this guy, well ... well, you seem to be on the wrong bus.

2. Every Father's Day, I kindly say, "Dad, today is your holiday! I'll take you and mom out for a day! " Dad took a hard puff on his cigarette and said quietly, "I won't go." You take your mother out for a day, when I have a holiday! " "

3. Funny jokes in class. One day in a political class, the teacher asked Xiao Ming who was sleeping: What is ownership and what is the right to use? Xiaoming: I was born by my mother, so my mother owns my ownership. My mother married my father, and my father has the right to use my mother. Teacher: It seems reasonable. I'll let you go this time. Sit down.

I am greedy for meat and made a plate of braised pork. My five-year-old son, who was taking a nap, smelled the fragrance and vaguely asked me, Mom, what do you eat? I said, silly boy, there is nothing. You are dreaming. Go back to sleep. Then the silly boy fell asleep again.

5. "Wukong, what did you have for lunch?" "Master, what happened to the braised pork that Lao Sha and I ate at noon?" "It's okay, for the teacher is to ask! Why haven't I met Pig yet? "

6. My girlfriend came back and said to me angrily: I'm bored to death. Today, a scooter went backwards on the road and scraped my skirt. Me: You didn't say he didn't have eyes? Girlfriend: I looked up and saw that it was selling baked gluten. I asked how much it was. He said a piece of string, so I bought five strings. I forgot to scold him after dinner.

7. My girlfriend said that she wanted to buy clothes, and I said, buy buy went to buy buy and threw her a pile of money. You can't spend it until I come back, which proves that you don't love me! With a smug smile, I played a good hand! Suddenly ... come on, come here, you tell me what you mean by throwing this pile of hair tickets. I ... Oh ... No ... Let me explain.

8. I looked at my girlfriend and said affectionately, "You are really a suffocating woman." After his words, my girlfriend squeezed my leg hard: "The next time I fart, I won't be so mean."